twice marked

I leaned on my carrot hand and tilted my head, it was Sheng Yun, he knelt down beside me slowly, the face carved out of ice and snow at this moment because of? I can't believe it finally changed. , his eyes narrowed quickly, and the corners of his mouth trembled several times before he asked, "You? Why? Here?"

I also want to ask him this sentence.

I moved around? Wanting to climb up, Sheng Yun's hands trembled so badly, he held my hand first? My hand? It was already a little fat, he couldn't hold it, so he started scolding me, covering his head and face scolded: "

Xie Shen'an, you? Do you want to die? Do you know that you are an OMEGA!

You?...do you really think you? are an ALPHA?What are you doing with others? Lively!

You? Do you know you? Even if you join in the fun, you can't make up anything? It's easy to join in!

What are you studying? Chen Bu!

He drew a "Pilgrimage", you? Fucking come to pilgrimage!What kind of saint are you?

who do you think You Are!Are you the same as him!

You? Mantis is like a car, overthinking what you can do!

You? You just don’t have a brain, what do people say? You? Just believe what? Take your own life into it, who cares about you!idiot! "

He is still as powerful as he was back then, and he doesn't treat me like that when he scolds me.

He not only scolded me, but also pulled me upwards, it hurt so much, I called him: "Easy, it hurts, it hurts..."

"Forget it if it hurts!"

He stopped pulling me hard, turned me over on the floor and made me sit up so I stopped humming.

But he held my hand? Look, his face is as terrifying as this? The dark night, I coughed: "You? Why are you here?"

He didn't answer me, he just started to straighten my fingers slowly, but I still hurt even with this little pressure, his hand? It's a little warmer than mine, this? A little bit of temperature makes my hand feel like a needle prick In the pain, I instinctively pulled my hand out, and he grabbed it hard: "Say, what are you doing here?"

I said vaguely: "Kowtow, I am only nine short, you? Let me finish the kowtow."

"What? By nine? You? Counting! How many have you counted?"

His tone is cold, I dare not say it, I am afraid that he will strangle me to death, he must think that I will freeze to death on my knees in the icy sky, it is better to let him strangle to death.

He pinched my arm: "How many!"

"I want to knock 1000."

"It's still 9, that is to say, 991?"

This is the number squeezed out between his teeth, I can even hear the sound of his teeth grinding.

"Why??" He squeezed the temperature wrist? My wrist is very tight. I feel pain. I am conscious now. I don't want to tell him my goal, because I haven't achieved it yet.

The Buddha said that kowtowing a thousand heads can redeem sins, cut off the past and start over.

I want to forgive my sins, and I want the Buddha to give me another chance. If? I'm done, I want to tell Sheng Yun that I want to be with him.

It doesn't work if you say your wish.

So I said to him: "I'm not the only one knocking, you? Didn't you knock too?"

His other hand pinched my arm very tightly. I coughed and hid his arm. His reaction proved that I was right. Those marks were made by him, so I said I didn't swallow all the things I learned back then, but why did he knock?Or three times, at least three times, I glanced at him carefully: "You? Did you knock three times? What? When did you start knocking?"

He grabbed me again, that's it, I coughed: "You? Knock this? What? What are you doing?"

It's not a meal, the most important thing is that he knocked it three times, why? I only knocked it once?

Sheng Yun was also questioning me, he almost gritted his teeth and looked at me: "Why am I three times? Didn't I see you?"

I looked at the sky: "Maybe it's too dark? The snowflakes are too big, are you squinting?"

I don't want to tell him that it's because I've been lying on the ground for too long, or, I don't want to say that I have so little fate with him that he knocked on me three times before touching me.

One bows to heaven and earth, two bows to the high hall, three husbands and wives bow to each other, other people only need to kowtow three heads, but he kowtows three reincarnations face to face with me...

If he hadn't turned around to see if I had froze to death just now, then I really had no relationship with him at all.

What is Sheng Yun? He didn’t want to talk to me anymore. His hand was stuck in the crook of my leg. He wanted to hug me, but I refused to let him hug me. I shouted hard: “You? one!"

While I was talking, I tried my best to prevent him from hugging me. I knew that Sheng Yun would not let me knock him down.

I think I thought about giving up countless times in the middle, but I finally persisted here, and this is the last step.

I fell out of his hand with this struggle, and his hand must have been frozen, neither of us wearing gloves.

I grabbed his clothes as a gesture, and repeated to him: "I'm only 9 short."

I am always counting backwards. For me, it is not just a number, but the courage I have accumulated with great difficulty, the courage to run to him.

But this courage is still wrong, right, the direction is wrong, no matter what I do? It’s always wrong, so the heaven let me stop here.

I beat my hand hard on the ground, I was really not reconciled at all!

In Sheng Yun's eyes, I must be like an unreasonable lunatic.

He looked at me and gritted my teeth fiercely: "You? Don't make me angry! You? I've had enough! Xie Shen'an, it's just this time, I won't care about you again, are you dead or not? I won’t even interfere with life?! I’m far away from you! You? Like whoever you want, but can you fucking stop dying in front of my eyes? Can you? Let me feel like a stick in my throat, you? You want me to feel guilty for the rest of your life after you die, don’t you!"

His scolding this time was particularly sad, I felt desperate, I finally stopped being excited, I just looked at him, he seemed to be breathing a sigh of relief, his hands pinched on my shoulders, He pinched it hard, but the words he said were very gentle: "Thank you, Shen An, can you leave it in my heart? You? Can you stop doing this? Are you torturing me day and night?"

From bone-piercing despair to bone-chilling tenderness, I couldn't react to this change for a while. I felt snowflakes pouring into my eyes, and I closed them abruptly.

That year when he came out of the snowdrift, he kept his eyes closed. I couldn't wake him up. When I was about to despair, he opened his eyes. I think my mood now is the same as that moment.

I hurriedly lowered my head and covered my face with my hand, but it still didn't block it. I watched the snow on the ground melt into two small nests.

The hand he was holding on my shoulder was trembling slightly, I don't know if it was me or him, I just heard him smile softly: "Xie Shen'an, I'll give you another chance, you?"

I didn't let him finish talking this time, I raised my head and grabbed his collar vigorously, and I yelled at him: "You? Don't go home! You? Don't want your parents anymore! You? Don't Going to be a soldier, I will support you! I will give it to you? Run the gallery well, I will help you earn money, I can afford you! Let’s not go back to Sheng’s house, okay?”

He gave me three chances and kowtowed three times around the Jokhang Temple. I couldn't bear it anymore. I'm just like this? I have a little backbone, I only have a little willpower, but Sheng Yun was shattered by me.

Sheng Yun, you forced me to be so selfish, I already let you go, you ran in front of me!

I never want to let you go again.

I called the boss very domineeringly, so Sheng Yun was stunned by the shout. After he was stunned for a second, he hugged me. He hugged me so hard that I felt my chest hurt.I breathed out on his shoulder, the white hot eyes were hot.It was as if it was a hot current from the bottom of my heart, it poured into my eyes like a fountain, I had no choice but to look up.

Sheng Yun, who was holding me, trembled slightly. I swear this? I didn't tremble this time. I think he must have been stunned by me.

His back was stiff, I wanted to see what was wrong with him, but he didn't move, he just clasped me tightly, hugged me, my arms and arms were trembling slightly, after a while he stood stiff His back softened.I heard him say in my ear: "Okay, I'll wait for you? Take care of me."

His voice was hoarse. This? He was touched by me.I patted his back lightly and coughed: "Then you wait until I finish knocking, I just said how many are left?"

This kind of counting can't be interrupted, especially my kind of brain, which is easily confused when I get excited. I told him, "I can't miss one of them, so how many times do I have?"

He still hugs me. We are both embarrassed in this position, kneeling face to face, like kneeling, but I still don’t remember it. I am willing to kneel and kowtow three times with him, as long as I can be with him, kowtow As many cycles as you want.

And he didn't seem to think of letting me go, he just thought about this pose for a while: "Nine, you? You said just now that there are still nine."

I listened to the number in his arms and heaved a sigh of relief: "Okay, 9 little meanings, if you didn't rush over suddenly, I would have finished knocking."

Anyway, it's almost the end, I can talk big, I forgot that I just lay on the ground like a frozen dog.

And he didn't refute me, and he didn't ask me why anymore? He insisted on finishing this? 9, he just hugged me and didn't let go.

His embrace was warm, and I was almost warmed by his embrace. My frozen snot could move, so I sniffled: "My snot is about to come out."

He finally let me go, I glanced at him, I have adapted to the light of this dark night now, his voice has completely recovered, I can't see anything from his face, Moved, what? Yes, nothing.

After he regained his sanity, it was time to torture me.

He let me sit on the ground and started to warm my hands? After lightly kneading just now, I can move my joints, so he put my hands in his clothes, and when they were close to his skin, My hand trembled subconsciously, my eyes felt a little hot, as if the temperature of his body had rushed into my eyes, he held down my hand and wrist and didn't let me pull it out.

After my fingertips felt like needle pricks, I finally couldn't help but said: "Okay, okay, it's okay."

The hand? It’s done, but the knee can’t be bent, it’s hard, so he started rubbing my leg again. His hand is very strong, and he runs down my thigh. The feeling is like tearing me apart. I feel like my place is going to be a murder scene.I think I am lucky to be on a corner, far away from the store over there, or they will call the police.

He also said to me: "Hold it? Don't make a sound!"

I don't know how long it took, my throat was almost suffocated because I couldn't shout.After I finished, I was almost out of breath, but it seemed to be much better, I could get up from the ground, and I told him: "Okay, it's time to knock, finish the last 9, let's go home .”

But before I stood up, he carried me on my back.

The last ten were carried by Sheng Yun? I finished it. Like the children carried by those mothers in the basket, I was carried by him? Completed a thousand pilgrimage roads of equal length.

He was very slow when he knocked on his own, not to mention carrying it? Me, so every movement made me feel tired. He was carrying it? When I was lying on the ground, I felt that the eye sockets were very tight. I don’t know why At this moment, I remembered that sentence: I prostrate myself on the ground, not to see you, but to be close to your warmth.

I hugged his shoulders tightly with my hands, buried my face on his back, and pressed against him, followed? He knocked over one by one, I didn't want to count, because counting was too slow and too tortured .

The wind and snow blew by my ears, and I closed my eyes and listened silently.

If you? Carry me on the mountain and the water, I would like to accompany you to watch the wind and snow.