Are you with Dazai today?

Osamu Dazai doesn't care about cooking, one is because he has an almighty male mother, ahem... the almighty Shiinagawa is proficient in everything from sewing to killing in the kitchen, although the last point seems a bit strange, but please don't pay attention .

The second point is because he, as a senior executive of the port mafia, has never been troubled by money issues. Although Mr. Sen is a black-hearted man who oppresses his subordinates and pushes them into the fire pit, he is still generous in giving money. Osamu Dazai has no shortage of money to go to various high-end restaurants to solve his meal problem.

Third, even if he has no money, he can point a gun at his subordinates and threaten to run errands. Of course, the subordinates will pay for meals, which is also a necessary part of the Mafia. If you are unhappy, don't do it.

Usually when Osamu Dazai is in the mood, he will deliberately come up with all kinds of dark dishes to persecute his friends. The friends here refer to the poor spectacled animal king.

But today—today is different!It is known that Shiinagawa has received a mission and is away from home, and Osamu Dazai is very busy today, very busy!So Osamu Dazai decided to cook a meal seriously on a whim. This is really a century-old decision.

At present, the family has enough rice, noodles and all kinds of fresh ingredients. Of course, these are not bought by Osamu Dazai. Fight hard to snatch and identify fresh ingredients.

To sum up - Shiinagawa is really amazing.

Even though he has only done dark cooking, Osamu Dazai is still full of confidence. He is inexplicably confident in his cooking skills. He once saw someone blow up the kitchen on TV. It is ridiculous, but anyone with a little brain can There is no such thing as frying the kitchen.

With the cleaned kitchen utensils and neatly arranged ingredients, all the preparations have been made, and Osamu Dazai feels that he has already succeeded in half.

Of course, Osamu Dazai is a person who has plans no matter what he does, and he will not think too highly of himself and challenge the difficult problems that he can't do - I can do it after all, right?Osamu Dazai thought so, and just to be sure, he also opened the video of a very famous food blogger today.

Osamu Dazai has seen Shiinagawa's cooking process, and the process is as beautiful as Shiinagawa's murder, with hands that never stop, capable and concise movements, even if there are only very simple ingredients and seasonings, in Shiinagawa's hands It can also become a delicacy.

After watching Shiinagawa cook for a long time, I feel like 'Oh, cooking doesn't seem so difficult' and 'I can do it myself'.

And this is the beginning of this tragedy.

"First, we're going to cut the tomatoes into cubes."

The voice of the food blogger came from the mobile phone, okay, chop the tomato, this is very simple, but Osamu Dazai is puzzled by one thing, that is how many tomatoes should he chop?

"Cut the right amount of tomato and adjust it to your own taste."

No, no, this is not what Osamu Dazai wants to see, what he wants is at least accurate to the grams of everyone, so that he can hold electronic scales... electronic scales?

Only then did Osamu Dazai discover one thing he had been neglecting all along, that is, the fact that their house did not have an electronic scale at all, because Shiinagawa cuisine never used a scale to cook, and all Dazai Osamu saw was the other party. Seemingly grabbing ingredients at random.

This is really a huge mistake, but it takes about an hour to go back and forth from here to the nearest supermarket, and Dazai Osamu expected Shiinagawa to return in about an hour, so it is absolutely impossible to go to the supermarket now.

Of course, Osamu Dazai, as a high-ranking mafia, is naturally able to call his subordinates and set a time limit by the way, so that the subordinates will arrive on time even if they fly a helicopter, but this time, out of a wonderful Feeling ashamed, Osamu Dazai didn't want anyone other than Shiinagawa to know about it.

This can only be done by feeling, Shiinagawa who doesn't have an electronic scale can do well, there is no reason why Dazai Osamu can't do it... right?

Even though he suffered a setback in the first step, Osamu Dazai was still not discouraged and applauded him.

The amount of tomatoes depends on... Uh, the more the better, right?So Osamu Dazai cut five tomatoes, and then the video asked to pour an appropriate amount of oil into the pot, an appropriate amount, and an appropriate amount. When he saw these two words, Osamu Dazai became angry. Who knows what the appropriate amount is!

So Osamu Dazai poured some into the pot again by feeling. This may be the only time he had the right 'appropriate amount' in the cooking process.

There is no problem with the eggs, he still knows how to beat two or three eggs. Osamu Dazai stood in front of him with a spatula in one hand and the lid in the other, carefully stirring the beaten eggs as if dismantling a bomb. It was only after a little bit of burnt smell that I realized that I hurriedly turned off the fire.

This is too bad, how on earth did Shiinagawa not change his face in such a battle scene?

He didn’t wash the pot, and then continued to fire and poured the chopped tomatoes into it. He was confused by the continuous sound of “stabbing” and the splashing of oil. After the tomato itself was cut into pieces, some juice was left, In addition, Osamu Dazai didn't wipe and wash the tomatoes at all, which naturally caused such oily splashes.

Osamu Dazai already wanted to give up, but the thought of the tools to be tidied up and cleaned made him even more desperate, so he bit the bullet and continued.

The video says to fry the tomato juice and add some tomato sauce. There is no tomato sauce at home, only chili sauce, and peppers and tomatoes are plants of the nightshade family, so it should be no problem to put some sugar in the chili sauce. The taste is almost enough. .

Pour water into the wretched-looking pot, looking at the bubbling red soup, Osamu Dazai felt that he still has a little talent for cooking, and finally came the next noodles, and the damn food video still didn’t say anything The portion that should be served is still vague, 'according to one's appetite'.

Looking at the handful of noodles in front of him, Osamu Dazai thought to himself, how could this be enough to eat?So I opened two more packs and poured them all in.

After cooking it, Osamu Dazai felt bad when he saw a pot full of noodles. The egg in the tomato and egg noodles was mushy, and there was not much soup, and after a taste, it was sour, sweet and spicy. There are so many flavors in it, and there are too many noodles. Who would have thought that after seeing so few noodles meeting water, it would become such a full pot?

It's over, it's a failure.

Now we can only try to clean up the kitchen before Shiinagawa comes back. He definitely can’t do it alone, so let’s assign a few subordinates to clean up the kitchen. Anyway, Dazai Osamu’s subordinates are almost used to the boss’s capriciousness. Maybe it's just another whim.

"I am back."

bang bang dong——

"It ended earlier than expected, and I bought a cake from your favorite cake shop by the way, huh? This taste?"

Ruined!

"Hey! I tried to make a new suicide dish but failed. Even Ango can't kill me like this. I..."

Shiinagawa gently pushed away Osamu Dazai who was standing in front of him, took a small bowl and filled it with some noodles.

"delicious."

"Not tasty at all."

"It's delicious—"

"Liar."

"Look, I ate them all."

"Wait...don't eat it if it tastes bad, Shiina, are you listening to me? I said don't eat it!"

……

"This really...shocked me."

Atsushi Nakajima's voice pulled Osamu Dazai out of his memory, he deliberately lengthened his ending, sounding like he was acting like a spoiled child.

"Hey—Dun-kun is too rude to say that, but I am a reliable adult anyway, and I can still cook noodles."

"No... that's not what I meant! I thought... I thought Mr. Dazai..."

Poor newcomer Atsushi Nakajima, even after so long, he will still be fooled by Osamu Dazai's acting skills.

"Think I'm not the type to cook for myself?"

Osamu Dazai could tell what this young man was thinking at a glance.

"How is it possible, I live alone, and I can't eat instant noodles every day—"

The author has something to say: aka: Shiinagawa is not at home today