[SD Doujin] Light Blue Summer

"Tick tock, tick tock, tick tock..."

"...do you see the sky where the sun is setting?

It tells us to accept the present or the future

Or what is lost is something that will be gained someday

The surrounding gradually darkens like dotted stars drawn in the night sky

Well, before tomorrow comes, make your own dream..."

The clock is ticking every minute, and the room is very quiet. I sat in the living room and listened to the sound of the clock moving. I slowly opened my eyes in a daze, and all I saw was the white chandelier on the ceiling that was reflected blue by the surroundings. What penetrated through the gaps in the curtains was a dark azure light curtain.I took off the earphones and looked at the wall clock, because my brain started to feel dizzy after listening to the music all night. At four o'clock in the morning, it turned out that I had been sitting here waiting for the phone to ring for so long.Today is... Trying hard to remember the date, I simply got up from the sofa, staggered to the kitchen refrigerator, and the huge refrigerator that opened the door was full, only various brands of purified water and instant noodles.Look at the consumption of ingredients in the refrigerator... It turns out that today is the third day, and I should go to school.

After packing up the empty food box, I looked at the wall clock. At [-]:[-], I took out the school uniform jacket and uniform skirt from the closet, put the earphones back into my ears, and after I changed my shoes in the hall, I pressed the answering button on the phone. key.

The first one is the recording of the phone call received.

"Ayu, I'm Mami, do you remember when I helped you submit your resume to participate in TBS TV's idol project?Now that I have received a reply, if I can pass the selection this time, I can sign a contract with the firm. Are you listening, Ayu?If you receive it, please reply to me as soon as possible, we need to participate in the selection within 5 days. 』

The second is the phone recording sent out.

"Sorry, I can't answer your question right now.It's not that I want to escape like this, but that I don't have the ability and courage to distinguish and judge what exactly this emotion comes from.give me a little more time pleaseLet me calm down and think about it, I will give you an answer in the near future, please believe me, I will not lie to you. 』

Two phone calls were recorded, and I did not receive a reply until the moment I walked out the door.

×

The sun is warm in the neck.Turning the corner of the street, the tree shadow passed the corner of my eyes, and then walked down a gentle slope, the school gate came into view, but at the moment I had already pushed open the glass door of the teaching building, I was thinking like a ghost After a delay of two beats, I instinctively made the decisive decision to stop and turn around and walk towards the carport. I walked here step by step, probably because I knew someone would appear here.Because it was too early, the carport was far from full, and there was still a lot of room, so the surrounding area was a bit empty.Leaning my back against the wall next to me and slowly listening to the sound of the wheels rolling on the ground from far to near, I raised my head and saw the familiar figure in my eyes. Rukawa was expressionless. In his eyes, I even I could see my own reckless and frightened figure, I wanted to say something the moment I stepped out, but the moment he passed by me, his speed stopped slightly and he continued to move forward, passing me by.

From surprise to embarrassment, and then calm down to deal with the situation calmly, I believe my expression at that moment must be wonderful, he stopped the car and walked around me again without saying a word, silently watching Rukawa's calm side There was no more emotion on that face, he just walked straight down until he entered the gymnasium, and all I saw in the ground was my own shadow.

In fact, in the final analysis, his expression and behavior at this moment are no different from before. Even when we met in the corridor, his expression and eyes were no different from that of a stranger.A few days have passed in a blink of an eye. From the first time I met him, I would try my best to raise my face and smile, and now I completely pretended not to know him. Even Haruko, who has always been dull, sneaked over and asked me if I had quarreled with Rukawa.

×

"wow"

Looking at the notebook that was swept under the desk because of my lack of focus, when I bent down to pick it up, the person in front beat me to it. Yohei picked up the notebook on the ground, swept the dust off it and put it back on my desk. I showed an embarrassing smile after realizing it, and opened it casually, but my eyes just wandered aimlessly among the papers.

"The report card from the previous exam has come down? How is Ayu's result?"

"...It's okay, there are no failed subjects, except for English and Mandarin, the results of other subjects are just barely."

I tried my best to pretend nothing had happened, propped my arms on the table, and looked down at the notebook.

"Obviously they both don't attend classes often, there is a huge difference between the two of them." He meant something, I looked at the test papers on the cherry wood table by the window, and I was surrounded by him fearing the world. Danu and Noma, who were not chaotic, and Gao Gong quickly ran over.

"This fellow Hanako, like Rukawa Kaede, failed all subjects, hahaha."

He covered his mouth and sniggered, and was picked up by the furious Sakuragi, and the others laughed again, and Yohei turned his gaze back, as if sighing.

"Did something happen? It suddenly became like this."

"no."

Turning the pen with my fingertips, I answered surprisingly calmly.

"I heard that recently, there was a girl from another school who chased Rukawa very diligently." He quickly changed the subject, and said slowly, "I heard that she is also very beautiful, but she seems to have a bad temper. That People should be people Ayu knows."

"Shibuya...she's fine."

This idea continued to slowly ferment in my mind, and the movement that was still spinning the pen stopped, and suddenly an idea popped up in my mind, not because I felt angry and wanted to go to him because I knew such a thing In theory, it is not a feeling that I once said that I hope to see Rukawa having a girlfriend and I will be very happy, but the complex feeling that Rukawa is not my property, and it is not at all lost.

"Ayu?"

"This, do you like it? It's really disgusting that I can't even figure out my mood." Blinking slowly, I unconsciously caressed the palm of my left hand.

"It's not like that."

He hurriedly opened his mouth at the moment my words fell, and after noticing the increasingly strange eyes of Sakuragi and the others, he secretly leaned into my ear and whispered, "Ayu, why don't we skip class."

"Ugh?"

There was a smile on his face, and I nodded slowly after being dazed.

×

Two or three cars on the road passed by the lane next to them, blowing up a gust of warm wind, and looking up, the distant sky in summer seemed so vast that even the air inhaled into the chest Molecules make people feel the breath of summer even more.

"Are you in trouble recently?"

Coughing lightly, Yohei watched me finish eating the three cones, then directly picked up the topic, I looked up at him, my black hair was down very rarely, and the first two buttons of my uniform shirt were unbuttoned The upper jaw is particularly thin.

"Trouble is not counted, but there are a lot of problems." I quickly took the last cone out of the bag and gnawed on the chocolate crispy skin on it. For one thing, you always have to pay a lot for the other party and do a lot of things, right? Actually, I didn’t do anything, but I don’t feel reconciled. Because I have always felt that when I get along with him, I have to face such a muscle. You idiot, it's pointless to spend effort to measure the gains and losses..."

He smiled indifferently, looking like he was waiting for the next article. I don't know how to tell Yangping next, and there is no way to express the words when they come to my lips.

"Is that person Rukawa Kaede?"

"I'm very...obvious?" The sun was dazzling, I raised my hand to cover my forehead, and a thin layer of sweat had already oozed from my forehead.

"That guy is too obvious and too unmannered. I think even Haruko can notice it." Yohei's words obviously hit my sore spot. I remembered that day when I went to the gymnasium to watch the training, when that basketball came from the gymnasium. It flew out and landed on the ground. I subconsciously walked over to pick it up. However, Rukawa just slapped the ball out of my hand and picked it up again and walked back. So I was still teasing Sakuragi for hitting the ball with his face again. The relaxed atmosphere seemed to have become awkward because of Rukawa's move.

"I really want to help you with this kind of thing, but you can only rely on yourself."

"I have no idea……"

"You can, think about your seriousness."

"serious……?"

Then Yohei lowered his eyes and jumped down from the steps, leisurely stepped on the long streak of bright white light, turned his head and said to me, "That's right, it's still early, you can think about it carefully. It's almost time to go back gone."

The sunlight leaked from the branches, and swayed into gray-blue overlapping shadows and bright spots, flowing quietly and brightly on the street under the feet.I was thinking about the meaning of Yohei's words all the way until I remembered the person who could tell me the answer.

"Yanghei, I'm going to KTV, I'll leave the roll call to you!"

"Hello? Are you really going to leave as soon as you say..."

×

Enduring the harsh music and screaming like crazy, I opened the karaoke box exclusive to Shibuya. As I expected, she sat on the chair in the middle, letting the junior high school girls next to her Carefully decorating her nails, the huge screen in front of her actually showed the match between Xiangbei and Hainan during the county competition, but I didn't see the shots of the other people at all, all of them were close-up close-ups of Rukawa. Fist, push away the front girls who blocked the loud applause and walked in front of her.

"Shibuya, come out with me."

"Ayu-chan? Why did you come here? Why don't you just sit down and let me do your nails?" She waved her hand to let the people next to her get out of the way, looking at the nail polishes of different colors and glittering diamonds and nails on the table. Sequined decorative box, "How about peach nail polish and heart decorations?"

"I have something to ask you. About Rukawa Kaede." I took a step forward, and she pursed her lips, her slender and curly eyelashes trembling slightly as she blinked.Her eyes flicked over in an instant, and the dangerous aura on her body continued to deepen. Some of the younger sisters had clearly sensed Shibuya's anger, looked at each other and left in embarrassment, while the rest were all uttered by her. Shouting and crawling scared away, the power was also pulled down in the chaos, and the whole room fell silent instantly.

"Couldn't be, Ayu-chan doesn't want to see us together." She deliberately lowered her voice as if hissing and burning, the fire in her brown eyes was dim, and her eyes were extremely cold, "When I was in middle school, I said that I would replace me Revenge, the result is that you can easily stand beside him by taking advantage of the fact that you are his neighbor, right?" She came over unexpectedly and kicked my knee, and I stepped back, "There is already a man Friends, please don't get meddled in this matter again, if Ayu-chan does it again, I will definitely accompany you to the end."

"Shibuya...that's not what I meant...I just want to ask you, what do you like about him? I didn't come here to question you because I saw you chasing her." Looking at her in a contest, I opened my mouth Said, her chest heaving, paused for a moment, and snorted.

"Can I understand it this way? You originally planned to give the flowers to others, but you chose to keep them for yourself at that time. Now when the flowers can no longer make you nostalgic, but because you want to be praised, you want to be praised. Send it out?"

She raised a finger and pointed it at me, between our faces, "You obviously like him too, don't play dumb! You're just waiting for his confession!"

"I……"

As if something was said suddenly, my face turned pale, Shibuya squinted her eyes motionless, pressing high above her, her thin jaw stretched out into a particularly beautiful and imposing streamline.

"Don't you want to know why I like him? Let me tell you, I just think he is handsome, especially when he is playing basketball. I just want to keep walking with him, that's all."

Sadness surged up from the bottom of my heart like a tide, and I felt extremely bitter in my throat.

"If you're just here to ask this question, then you can leave. I'm going to cheer him on today. I don't want to see blood."

She leaned back on the soft back of the sofa and closed her eyes.

×

Only now can I be sure that I like Rukawa.

There is no doubt about liking Rukawa, but the love in the world is not single but diverse, and the degree varies widely.

Take the extreme point of view: the liking for relatives is called family affection; the liking for friends is called friendship; the liking for lovers is called love.Family affection, friendship, love, which of the three is deeper, I think it is impossible to compare.Objectively speaking, the three cannot be completely separated and independent.A simple example, relatives can have the ease and trust of friends; the sublimation of feelings between friends can develop into love, or the deep fetters that do not lose the blood of relatives; It seems that the three are at least mutually based and interdependent, and without any one of them, it cannot be said to be a complete relationship.

Therefore, what kind of emotion a certain person has is more judged by which emotion has a larger proportion, and at the same time, the existence of other emotions cannot be denied.But even with this as a standard, when the ratio of various emotions is very close, what kind of emotion is it?Which category should it fall into?This became very difficult, and the word "ambiguous" came into being.

We have been living together since junior high school, not relatives but better than relatives, this is the most certain thing in my relationship with Rukawa.

The Rukawa who always stood in front of me, the Rukawa who seemed to be able to rely on me at any time, when I was disappointed with my family, even almost desperate, he saved me who was about to collapse at that time.

I have been completely abandoned by my mother and father. Under such pressure, I feel completely confused and uneasy about my position in this "family".I can't, and I dare not show it. Keeping the only strong appearance that I have forced is my last bottom line.No one can confide, no one can understand, when will this pain end, it would be great if it can be vented, if it is possible.It's just that no matter how hard I searched, I still couldn't find the exit that could release the flood.If you break it forcibly, I'm afraid it will destroy the "hard" exterior that is already fragile. That is undoubtedly a dead end.

So, when he came over and patted me on the shoulder while I was crying by the mailbox, I actually felt like it gave me a sense of family.

However, no matter how deep the feelings for Rukawa are, they are still based on the feelings of family members.Even if there was a heartbeat, I think it was just a moment, nothing more.

"By the way, Ayu, the basketball club seems to be going to Haruko's house for tutoring today. If you think about it, you can go there." 』

This is the sentence he said when he separated from Yohei. I looked up at the empty and far-reaching sky above my head, stood at the door of Haruko's house, and knocked lightly on the door.

The moment she came to open the door, I kept silent and listened quietly to the bustling voices inside. The corners of her mouth were bent, as if she had already understood.

"Ayu, I'm here to find Rukawa-kun."

"Yes."

Haruko lowered her head and smiled softly. I watched her show a Shibuya-like smile that made me feel familiar. I stepped back a few steps and leaned against the wall to look at the not-so-wide road in front of me. While waiting, there was a The boy slid past on a bicycle, and a girl was sitting in front of his car. The two of them just passed by in a flash, but the familiar scene seemed to stop in sight and linger.There was the sound of unhurried footsteps beside my ears, I watched Rukawa walk up to me, looked at me with a complicated look, and simply turned my back and stepped into the fragmented shadow of the setting sun, he hesitated for a moment, then followed.

"Don't go any further!"

I ran a few more steps forward, squinting my eyes and looking at the orange river of light formed by the traffic, "Some words, I may not be able to say them when I see your face, I know you don't want to see me, but please Anyway, listen to what I have to say."

"……kindness."

I could feel him right behind me, answering in a barely audible voice.

"Actually, in the beginning, I approached you with a purpose! Because Shibuya confessed to you and was rejected at that time. At that time, I thought that if I could catch you and dump you hard, I would be able to avenge her! Such me , It’s really despicable and annoying.” It was difficult to speak out the decision, the throat was dry and sore, and it took a lot of effort to complete the words.Tears slowly slid down his face, and the temperature was also scalding.Just once, then once, after this time, everything will be over.So, I'm sorry, I'm really sorry this time.

"Actually, I once really fell in love with Rukawa, but I didn't dare to admit it. What I was most afraid of was that I would not get the desired ending after giving so much, so I always thought that it would be better to just talk to Rukawa than to make the relationship embarrassing. We will continue to be friends like this, but it is impossible for us to continue like this. I have lived until now, but I have been in a daze, and I don’t know what I really like. Until I met a person, he was good to me, Laughing with me, it also made me feel for the first time that I want to seriously consider the future with this person! I realized from that moment that the apex is not so important to me, what is important is to look at it from the apex The scenery, and the person standing next to me.”

"So, Rukawa, I'm sorry, I'm going to break my promise. I can't continue to accompany you. However, I believe that if it is you, there will be no problem."

Something snaked down the delicate curve of the cheek, and finally gathered at the chin, and then fell straight down and smashed to the ground. I turned my back to him and slowly raised my right hand.

"High-Five."

One, two, three... counting silently in my heart.

I slowly put down my hands, my heartbeat and breathing gradually calmed down, and I started to run hard along the flat and falling road in front of me, without turning back.

Because I know that this time "Give-me-Five", I will never receive it again.

The author has something to say: Sure enough, as soon as the ending came to an end, I exploded the number of words...

Please bear with me for there are still two chapters (not counting the extra episodes) to be completed.

By the way, I was very sad when I was writing this chapter, because after bringing in Ayu's emotions, I felt that another guy in her life who could be regarded as a relative disappeared.

In fact, when it comes to liking, there are really many types.

A moment, an hour, a month, a year, a lifetime, it's all possible.

Ah, by the way put on music that suits these two very well.

Graduation single last のドア from Huya

Don't say any more

stay like this for a while

I'll open that door

Like the curtain of dawn overflowing from the venetian blinds falls

I will remember the time we met (every day that makes me nostalgic)

the footprints of the road we walked together

Exploring Dream in confusion

The last thing I can do is say goodbye with a smile

No matter how lonely I have to go on a journey

Because if I cry, I'll stop

So let's meet in the future

If you look at me with such gentle eyes

I can't turn around

I want to say many more things (after this)

For such a long time because of you

There will always be something left in my heart

The last thing I want to say is "thank you"

Looking back now, I can only feel grateful

I wouldn't be here if I hadn't met you

Yeah, it's not the end it's a new beginning

The last thing I can do is say goodbye with a smile

No matter how lonely it is, I have to go on a journey

Because if I cry, I'll stop

So let's meet in the future

In the future...wait for it

Seeing that it is about to end, everyone will come out and let us talk about it QAQ