song for the city

The hospital is not a good place to talk, and the words that happen here are very desolate.Xiang Pei seemed to have become another person, full of panic and confusion about the future like countless people in hospital gowns walking in front of him.

The rain seems to have stopped, but the sky is still gloomy, which is a precursor to the next rainy night.Liang Zhang became more sober all of a sudden. He looked into Xiang Pei's eyes, depriving him of the opportunity to lie and feel guilty: "You said that you will never fail to do what you promised me. Xiang Pei, do you want to promise not to leave me?"

Liang Zhang thinks that swearing is very vulgar, it is so vulgar, it means turning love into a tireless competition, comparing who can stand the longest in the oath, and who loves each other more.When a couple breaks up, one party asks the other party: You said before that you will love me forever, and the other party’s heart flashes with guilt. At that time, he was the most vicious villain in the world, and then said: I’m sorry, I also thought that I would love me forever Love you.

Forever only for a moment, Liang Zhang sneered when he watched the idol drama on TV playing eachother.

He has actually become the one who wants to make an oath, Liang Zhang's heart skipped a beat when he opened his mouth, feeling that he has been kidnapped by love, Xiang Pei's lips slowly parted, Liang Zhang raised his hand to block the air: "Forget it, I don't want your promise .”

"Then I'll curse you." Liang Zhang left his index finger and placed it gently on Xiang Pei's knee, "If you leave me, you will never fall in love with others again."

When the sky was dark blue, Xiang Pei and Liang Zhang left the hospital together.Yin Jing and Liang Ansheng were still at work, so Liang Zhang dared to stay outside for a while. Anyway, the weather didn't look like it was going to rain anytime soon, so Liang Zhang said he might as well walk Pei back to the hotel.

Xiang Pei did not express any objection or support, and walked forward casually. Liang Zhang also followed his pace silently.Xiang Pei walked very slowly, one step catching up with his usual two steps, Liang Zhang knew that he wanted to extend the time, but he didn't say anything, and tacitly accompanied Xiang Pei to slow down.

The nights in Nanchuan are not as lively as in Day City. Liang Zhang said that because they are not in the city center, there are many people in the square in the city center, which is much noisier than here. Sometimes he likes the atmosphere with many people, and occasionally he likes the streets with few people. , and the law and order in Nanchuan is very good at night.

Xiang Pei said that his new song was finished and he wondered if he would have a chance to sing with the band. Liang Zhang asked Xiang Pei to hum a few words to him first, and he wanted to be the first listener.Xiang Pei then tried to hum a few words. It was a very plain tone, which sounded a bit sad. Liang Zhang was inexplicably sad.

Looking at the empty street in front of him, Xiang Pei remembered something mysteriously, and said mysteriously that he would play the guitar and sing for Liang Zhang in the future.

"Okay, sit in front of me and sing to me later." Liang Zhang's eyes were so bright that Xiang Pei didn't dare to look directly at him.

Walking to the side of the night market, there were suddenly more people, and several couples came to meet them, or passed them by.Liang Zhang and Xiang Peizhong were separated by a fist's distance, neither far nor close, like the kind of friends who had a good relationship but were not very familiar with each other. They ran into each other on the street by chance, and walked down the same road with silence.

The two girls in front walked over arm in arm, Liang Zhang suddenly smiled, turned to Pei and asked him what he was laughing at.

Liang Zhang had a sudden thought: "You said that it would be great if we were two women, and we could go shopping together hand in hand, and even kissing would be fine."

Xiang Pei laughed out loud: "Even if it's two girls, kissing is a bit too much."

"Oh, it seems to be the same," Liang Zhang rubbed the back of his head, "it's more normal for men and women to do kissing."

Liang Zhang stared at Xiang Pei's lips and commented clearly.

It was very noisy in front, as if a bakery was doing an event, a loudspeaker repeated a sentence tirelessly, it was a headache to hear, a crowd of people blocked the door of the shop, Liang Zhang and Xiang Pei were pushed back by the crowd.Liang Zhang let himself be manipulated and noticed that no one was sticking to them.

Taking advantage of the chaos, Liang Zhang touched Xiang Pei's hand hanging on his thigh, and hooked his little finger. Xiang Pei's finger was cold, and Liang Zhang's whole body was also cold.

"I want to hold your hand," Liang Zhang smiled melancholy, the wind blew his teeth cold, "but if I do this, others will call me perverted and disgusting, and they will say that I did something wrong."

"But what's wrong with me? Don't steal or rob, can't you like someone?"

Still no one was around them, the bakery's loudspeaker covered Liang Zhang's voice well, only Xiang Pei could hear it.Liang Zhang said, "We shouldn't hold hands, kiss and hug, should we?"

Liang Zhang stood leisurely at the street corner with his hands in his pockets. The wind passed over his head, and he shrunk his neck. There was no hair covering his head, and it was much colder.

Xiang Pei listened to Liang Zhang's words in silence, and there were many things in his heart that were gradually shattering, turning into slag, flowing out from his skin, and finally only a shell remained.

In the next second, he held Liang Zhang's hand tightly, and put the other hand on Liang Zhang's cut hair, so the wind passed over the back of his hand.One of them bumped Xiang Pei's shoulder, turned around to apologize and then closed his mouth, staring at them strangely.

Xiang Pei still didn't let go of Liang Zhang, he asked Liang Zhang if he was afraid.Liang Zhang shook his head, saying he was afraid of shit.

Xiang Pei took Liang Zhang's hand, ran through the crowd, past the red, blue, and yellow billboards, bumped into countless people's shoulders, and returned to the hotel room.

The room was dark, and Xiang Pei didn't turn on the light. He leaned Liang Zhang against the wall, put his palm under Liang Zhang's head, held his chin with one hand, and kissed Liang Zhang eagerly.Xiang Pei's lips didn't feel warm either, but Liang Zhang's did. It was so hot that Xiang Pei's whole body burned.

He didn't kiss him any deeper, just sucked Liang Zhang's plump lips lightly, and there was nothing more than a kiss. He wanted to tell Liang Zhang that kisses between boys are just as beautiful.

In fact, Liang Zhang understood this truth a long time ago.He wrapped his arms around Xiang Pei's neck, opened his eyes, and saw Xiang Pei's silhouette in the dark, what kind of picture it presented, his breath and hair were moving, moving affectionately.The darkness intensified the perception of hearing, and also exacerbated Liang Zhang's mood swings. His hands seemed to feel Xiang Pei's pulse, and he smelled extremely strong reluctance, which made him dizzy.

In the middle of the kiss, Xiang Pei tasted the salty taste, he held Liang Zhang's face in astonishment, and heard a slight sobbing sound, which was too obvious in the darkness.

Liang Zhang was crying.Xiang Pei wanted to turn on the light, but Liang Zhang pressed Xiang Pei: "Don't turn on the light."

"Don't turn on the lights, really don't... turn on the lights."

Liang Zhang waved his hand in the air twice, his voice choked.The emotions he had accumulated all night finally broke out, and he burst out crying, every blow was shocking to Pei's soul.

Xiang Pei stood there helplessly, realizing for the first time that his soul was so fragile.

Liang Zhang cried terribly, the heart-piercing cry echoed in the room, Xiang Pei had never seen Liang Zhang cry like this, it was as if he was about to suffocate.Xiang Pei hugged him, put his hands on his back, trying so hard to bring Liang Zhang into his life, Liang Zhang felt that his bones were about to break.

"Xiang Pei, I feel so bad..."

Liang Zhang bit Xiang Pei's clothes, and slapped his chest hard, all the salty tears dripped down Xiang Pei's neck, and then fell into his clothes.

"Don't go, can you not go?"

Liang Zhang didn't wait for Xiang Pei's answer.He touched his shoulder as he went downstairs and found that piece of clothing was also damp.

Yin Jing came home very late that night, looking tired, she was surprised that she didn't give Liang Zhang too much psychological counseling and sighed, and hugged Liang Zhang tenderly, resting her chin on Liang Zhang's shoulder.

He couldn't remember how many years there had been no such warm moments between mother and child. Perhaps because he had vented too much emotion at night, Liang Zhang chose to hug Yin Jing back. He thought she might have compromised, or she might be tired of fighting each other.Liang Zhang became extremely peaceful, and he didn't use his emotional strength anymore.

Yin Jing said: "Baby, will you blame me? Mom really loves you."

Although he was puzzled, Liang Zhang still nodded obediently, and the nostalgia for family affection poured out of his body: "I love you too."

Maybe the words "I love you" are too deceptive, Liang Zhang only heard these three words, and he ignored the previous question.

Liang Zhang woke up the next morning with swollen eyes and a terribly hoarse voice. He drank several glasses of water before recovering. He was going to pack up his homework and books. School starts tomorrow, and he will go back to study by himself this evening.

Before tidying up, he habitually glanced at his phone to see if Pei had sent any new text messages.After crying last night, he seemed to feel a lot more relaxed. He wanted to talk to Xiang Pei.

Xiang Pei sent a very long text message, Liang Zhang read it roughly, and only wrote down the last few words in his mind: Wait for me, or don't wait for me, Liang Zhang.

The text message said: I like the way you smile, but now I seem to only bring you pain and tears. If this continues, your love for me will be worn out.After we are separated, our future will be easier. Even if we are sad now, it is only temporary.Wait for me, or don't wait for me, Liang Zhang.

Liang Zhang couldn't accept the sudden breakup because of the sloppy text message and even a few typos. Although he didn't mention these two words to Pei, Liang Zhang understood.

Liang Zhang put on his coat and ran out. Xiang Pei had already checked out the room, and the phone couldn't be reached.On the way back to the community from the hotel, Liang Zhang kept calling Xiang Pei. Finally, he came to his senses and took a taxi to the train station.

Liang Zhang's knuckles were bitten into deep tooth marks, and his lips and tongue were dry with fear, and he couldn't swallow his saliva. The building outside the car window moved back, shaking his internal organs and twisting them together in embarrassment, and he was close to the verge of vomiting.Many fragments flashed through his mind, but he couldn't put together a complete picture. At a certain moment, he forgot where he was going and what he should do.

The world was so chaotic that it started to turn upside down. Liang Zhang prayed in his heart that all the gods who should be asked have been worshiped.

After he ran in a daze at the train station for 10 minutes, he finally got through to Pei.

Holding the phone in his hand, Liang Zhang trembled violently. He found a chair and sat down. His legs were still shaking. He put his elbows on it and barely stabilized himself. He didn't speak, and neither did Xiang Pei, but Liang Zhang could hear his breathing.

Liang Zhang finally spoke, too calmly: "Where are you?"

"On the train."

"You said you were leaving tomorrow."

"Liang Zhang."

"Are you serious?"

"Delete my phone number." Xiang Pei sighed.

"Fuck you." Liang Zhang's voice was weak.

Xiang Pei's voice was messy, and everyone's voices were mixed together. Liang Zhang wanted to smash the phone.

"Would you feel better if I said I love you?"

Liang Zhang's lips were bleeding, and a rusty smell crawled in his mouth. He bit the bleeding place, ground his teeth vigorously, and said viciously, "You love a fart, Xiang Pei."

"Go away, don't appear in my world again."

In Liang Zhang's year, he said the most vicious words to Xiang Pei. At that moment, he really hoped that Xiang Pei would never appear in his life for the rest of his life.

The phone was hung up, Xiang Pei listened to the busy tone from the phone, and lost his mind for a very long time.He didn't move, watching the trees, houses, and power lines drifting by outside the train.

Liang Zhang's love is exposed and unabashed. He is willing to let everyone know that he loves Xiang Pei, and it is lucky and easy for Xiang Pei to bear the love.

No one knew that Xiang Pei was the only one in the world who could tolerate Liang Zhang's impulsiveness and unrestrained speech. At night, he covered him with the quilt, held his cold feet in his arms, and did not blame him for his injuries, and tried his best not to let him cry.

Xiang Pei's love is so forbearing, he turned loving Liang Zhang into something as simple as drinking water and eating in his life.

Leaving Liang Zhang is like losing food and drinking water, giving up Xiang Pei's source of life.

His pain will be hidden in the dark night, just like Liang Zhang doesn't want him to find the words on the roof: Liang Zhang likes Xiang Pei.

The author says:

Very sad...|-|