song for the city

When I came out of the hospital, it started to rain.

The rain was not heavy, but it was very dense, smearing the road ahead unsightly, and the cold air soaked into the bones, bringing a very secret pain, which haunted the knees and elbows from time to time.Liang Zhang's nose was so dry that it seemed to be bleeding a bit. He pinched the wings of the nose with two fingers and pressed in the middle, trying to stimulate the moist feeling when the nasal cavities collided together. His throat was not very comfortable. As for the lunch box, Yin Jing was worried that the food in the hospital would not be good, so she made it every day and asked Liang Zhang to bring it over.

Grandpa's condition is not good. Once a person gets old, the accumulated problems will be squeezed together, and suddenly break out on a certain day, and all the organs of the person will fail rapidly, reaching the point where it is irreparable.Even if grandpa is sitting on the hospital bed watching him laughing and chatting with him, Liang Zhang can predict the final parting.

It's just that Liang Zhang doesn't understand why the grandfather who is usually very healthy, plays cards and drinks tea in the mahjong parlor in the afternoon, and has shiny black hair, can't wait to become black and thin, and time chases him like hell.

The disinfectant water in the hospital made Liang Zhang feel nauseous as usual. He stood at the door of the hospital, waiting for the rain to stop. After a while, he began to hesitate whether to go out directly.

The end of the Spring Festival was immediately replaced by rain, the red lanterns on the street lamps disappeared, and the shops opened one after another. Liang Zhang felt that he had returned to the old city.

He went to the hospital many times last year. Nana and You Jing were injured, Xiang Guo was ill, and he had an acute gastroenteritis infusion.This year, Liang Zhang was greeted by the hospital again. The total number of visits to the hospital before the age of 17 may not have been more than the past two years. Liang Zhang has mixed feelings. He is slowly adapting to the cruel atmosphere of the hospital, hoping to face death calmly.

Not far away was a black figure approaching, holding a dark blue lattice umbrella, his outline was thin and blurred in the rain, but Liang Zhang recognized him from a long distance away.

His heart was beating violently, he walked out from behind the glass door of the hospital, and ran down the steps. Two drops of rainwater accumulated above fell down and hung on Liang Zhang's nose, which would not fall off.

"To Pei."

Liang Zhang urgently called Pei's name, and rushed to claim him, for fear that he would slip away with the rain and fall into the bottomless sewer in the next second.If it weren't for the lunch box in his hand, Liang Zhang might have hugged Xiang Pei directly.

Lifting up his sleeve to Pei, he wiped away the raindrops on Liang Zhang's nose. The soft fabric of the clothes made Liang Zhang's throat swell, and he opened his mouth: "You really didn't go back."

"When did I fail to do what I promised you?" Xiang Pei narrowed his eyes helplessly, and leaned over like myopia, "Go in, don't get caught in the rain."

His clothes were also stained with a little rain, and they were sticky to the crook of his arms. When Xiang Pei bent his arms to put away the umbrella, the raindrops were easily crushed and shattered.

They sat on the chairs in the hospital hall and talked, deliberately choosing a very remote position, so that people who came in were not easy to see, and they were basically in the blind corner of the field of vision.

Xiang Pei spoke first: "How long does school start?"

Liang Zhang was slightly absent-minded, fixedly staring at an indistinct red mark under Xiang Pei's eyes, his vision was a little disturbed, he looked at his fingers irritably, and asked in a daze, "What date is it today?"

"NO.19."

Liang Zhang nodded dully and said, "Then we start school the day after tomorrow."

"I start school three days later than you." Xiang Pei made up his mind and said.

"I'm going to be in my third year of high school." Liang Zhang nonsensically said this sentence, which was very abrupt in the conversation, probably Xiang Pei didn't think about how to answer it, so he could only pant silently, using his breath to cover up his distress.

An unsightly thread emerged out of nowhere from the hem of his clothes, and Xiang Pei tugged at it in frustration, like tearing off a plant buried in his body, and even his toes ached.

"Is your grandfather okay?"

The question was very unnecessary, Xiang Pei knew the answer, and the answer could be gleaned from Liang Zhang's expression.He has deep dark circles, his eyeballs are bloodshot red, and sleepiness takes root in every part of his body.But Liang Zhang intends to make Xiang Pei feel at ease: "It's okay," he felt uncomfortable with self-deception, "it's not too bad."

Lying on the hospital bed was Liang Zhang's grandfather, but Liang Zhang subconsciously comforted Xiang Pei, as if to let Xiang Pei feel that he was "okay", and he could still persevere, just like treating the relationship between them, he Won't let go, even if he lives in the dark crevice.

Xiang Pei's heart ached to the point of going crazy, but it was a difficult skill to keep his expression from wandering with his heart.

He didn't want to see Liang Zhang with a forced smile, haggard enough to make Xiang Pei despair.

The boy who was running around with the cake on the balcony, the boy with the brightest smile, suddenly lost his shadow to Pei.

"I'll go back the day after tomorrow and wait for you to start school."

Liang Zhang responded in his throat, but his body didn't respond. He tapped the lunch box containing chicken soup with his fingertips, making a dull sound.

He said that Liang Ansheng and Yin Jing would monitor him for 24 hours in the future, and he would not be left with the chance to escape, and the teacher also said hello.Liang Ansheng even really planned to arrange a psychiatrist for Liang Zhang, and bought a bunch of healthy books for Liang Zhang to read. These are actually acceptable to Liang Zhang. The method made him powerless.

Yin Jing's trick is Liang Zhang's grandfather.

Grandpa's illness made the whole family miserable, shrouded in gloom. Yin Jing integrated her grandfather's illness with Liang Zhang's affairs, and tried to torture Liang Zhang with guilt, so that he could truly realize the "wrongness" of this behavior.

She said, if your grandfather knew what you did, do you think he would leave in peace?

This move was so ruthless that Yin Jing even put her own empathy into it, adding an unpardonable evidence for Liang Zhang: unfilial, no one can be unfilial in front of the loved ones, Liang Zhang admires Yin Jing's brilliance .He thinks that he has long been unfilial in front of Yin Jing, but not in front of grandpa, he is the junior whom grandpa loves most.

Liang Zhang was on the verge of collapse, but he couldn't live without Xiang Pei, who was also extremely important to him.

Xiang Pei turned his head to look at Liang Zhang, thinking: Liang Zhang's fatigue and struggle are all caused by him.

"Aren't you tired, silly boy?"

"I have nothing to be tired of." Liang Zhang smiled indifferently, his flamboyant tone was not convincing.

"I'm so sad, I don't know what to do, just like you are in front of me, but I can't touch you." Xiang Pei said.

Liang Zhang got up from the chair: "I'm just uncomfortable and may not see you for a long time, so I can only contact you by phone, but when I am admitted to university, my parents will not care about me, and I will come to Day City to find you .”

Liang Zhang wanted to continue, and Xiang Pei interrupted him: "What about our future? Liang Zhang."

"Don't worry about it, can you do it later? Why are you talking so annoying? Xiang Pei, do you really take what my mother told you?" Liang Zhang bit his lip, "Are you annoying?"

"It's really annoying." He said again.

Xiang Pei raised his eyes and stared at Liang Zhang jokingly: "You really think I'm annoying?"

"If you don't say those inexplicable words, you won't be bothered. Be careful, I will ignore you." Liang Zhang's words were almost silent after that, and he spoke quickly and urgently.

Unexpectedly, Xiang Pei Zhen heard it clearly, and responded clearly: "Then just ignore me."

Liang Zhang was completely dazed, and the sense of fear caught up with him after he realized it, forcing all his other emotions to stand aside. The joy of seeing Xiang Pei disappeared like a rocket launch. He sat down on the chair again and glanced at the people in front of him. nobody.

"What the hell do you mean by coming here today?"

Liang Zhang was on fire, and the rain washed away his humiliation and pleading. He felt aggrieved, and his tone rushed forward: "Are you going to break up with me?"

"No." Xiang Pei was stunned for two seconds. He didn't expect to hear these two words from Liang Zhang's mouth, and he didn't think about these two words.

Liang Zhang didn't care about what he said to Pei, and frowned annoyedly: "If you come to break up with me, you should leave quickly, I don't want to see you."

Realizing that Liang Zhang was really angry, he was about to leave with his lunch box in his arms. Xiang Pei was so panicked that his scalp was numb, as if the building in front of him was about to collapse in the next second.

"I won't break up with you, Liang Zhang, I can't bear you." Xiang Pei didn't even shake his words clearly.

Liang Zhang turned his head, still angry, but saw that Xiang Pei's eyes were a little red.

In my impression, Liang Zhang had never seen Xiang Pei cry, his tears never fell, and at most the areas around his eyes were red.

"Who the hell wants to break up with you?" Xiang Pei covered his eyes and said helplessly, "Fuck."

Liang Zhang thought at the time, just don't take anything, and run away with Xiang Pei.You can go anywhere, but it's best to go to California and stay at the Hotel California.

The author says:

Aggrieved, aggrieved, and aggrieved ones behind