imaginary rival

When Yan An ran all the way downstairs to Jiang Shiyu's house, he was so hot that his arms were almost sweating.

Ruan Yu happened to come out of the convenience store at the entrance. He probably just finished his part-time job, or was on leave, and had to go to a class reunion. When he saw Yan An, he was taken aback, pursed his lips and asked, "Where are you going? Looking for Jiang Shiyu?"

"Ah," Yan An was in a hurry, he glanced at him and wanted to go in, "Yes."

Ruan Yu looked at him suspiciously, and looked behind him even more suspiciously: "Are you two playing hide-and-seek? It's so interesting?"

"What hide-and-seek?" Yan An was stunned for a moment, and when he turned around, he saw Jiang Shiyu running towards this side in a hurry.

"Hey!" Yan An shouted hastily.

Jiang Shiyu pursed his lips, and ran towards him quickly. The medicine bag in his hand shattered, and Yan An rushed over, grabbed his arm and pulled him aside, cursing in a low voice. "Hold".

"What the fuck?" Jiang Shiyu narrowed his eyes and looked at him.

"Fuck you!" Yan An answered very loudly, "You're right behind me, why don't you call me you! You run outside when you're sick, in case you're not sick enough, can you touch your arm? , can fuck a poached egg!"

Jiang Shiyu smiled helplessly, and looked at Ruan Yu behind him. Ruan Yu didn't say much, and even his expression didn't change at all. He waved at them seriously, turned and walked towards another road .

"I called you, I called you when I saw you," Jiang Shiyu said, "You ran like a donkey behind you..."

Jiang Shiyu didn't finish his sentence, and felt that something was wrong, so he changed his words: "It looks like something is chasing you, and you didn't hear me shouting at all."

"Really?" Yan An stared at him, "I didn't hear it at all."

Because I didn't yell at all.

Jiang Shiyu looked away.

He didn't want Yan An to know that he went to squat him downstairs, after all...it was embarrassing.

Everyone Yan An said he didn't want him to go, but he went anyway.

It sounds like a piece of dog skin plaster that can't be shaken off.

"What did you go out for?" Yan An raised his hand to touch his forehead again, "It's very hot."

"I'm running hot," Jiang Shiyu smiled, "I went out to get medicine, didn't I tell you when I called you?"

Yan An was stunned, raised his hand and scratched his head, but said nothing.

"Go back first, I'll put down the medicine, take some medicine and then go to the restaurant." Jiang Shiyu looked at him, "By the way... tell me about you."

"Huh?" Yan An looked up at him.

"My mother is not at home," Jiang Shiyu said, "She went to find her best friend for dinner, and she will come back at night, you can say whatever you want."

"...En." Yan An responded.

During the distance from the gate of the community to the gate of Jiang Shiyu's house, the two of them didn't speak a word.

Silence was a stone, and it prevented the two of them from communicating normally. After the college entrance examination was finally over, they thought they could relax for two days, but this kind of thing happened again.

Yan An suddenly became a little irritable.

He waited for Jiang Shiyu to open the door, walked in, first went to help Jiang Shiyu boil water, then took the medicine to look at his eyes, and said: "You have taken the medicine, remember not to drink at night, be careful that the more you drink, the more you will get drunk. "

"Ouch." Jiang Shiyu leaned back on the sofa, looking at him happily.

Yan An ignored him, waited for the water to heat up, brought it over, opened the medicine and placed it in front of Jiang Shiyu, thought for a while and looked at him again: "Have you eaten yet?"

"Eat, don't worry about it," Jiang Shiyu looked at him, "What about you? What happened?"

Yan An frowned, feeling irritable again.

After that feeling of uneasiness was forcibly suppressed, only bouts of irritability caused by powerlessness remained.

It's strange that this kind of irritability obviously didn't exist before meeting Jiang Shiyu.

It wasn't that he was annoyed when he saw Jiang Shiyu, but...as if he had found someone who could vent his emotions, all kinds of negative emotions rushed up directly.

He scratched his head, watched Jiang Shiyu finish taking the medicine, and then whispered, "My mother...may have found something."

Before the water glass in Jiang Shiyu's hand could be placed on the table, the bottom of the glass knocked against the edge of the table. He raised his head, but his eyes were not as shocked as Yan An thought, as if he had guessed something long ago, very dignified.

"I put the things you gave me and your photos...under the pillow," Yan An bit her lip, and continued after a while, "She changed the sheets for me, saw it, and then helped me put them under the pillow." In the nightstand."

"... didn't say anything?" Jiang Shiyu asked.

"I didn't say anything, I didn't ask." Yan An raised his eyes to look at Jiang Shiyu, clenched his hands uncontrollably, and dug his nails into the flesh of his palm, "Besides, before I call you today, I just opened the bedside table and saw those things, she came in and saw me, saw that the cabinet was open, and didn't ask anything."

"Those things..." Jiang Shiyu thought for a while, looked at Yan An, and said seriously, "Maybe I can't see anything."

Yan An didn't speak, nor did he make any movements.

"You can say that I accidentally forgot it at your place, and you put it under your pillow, intending to remind yourself to remember to bring it to Jiang Shiyu," Jiang Shiyu said softly, "but if she didn't ask, you don't have to explain anything .”

Yan An froze for a moment, looking at Jiang Shiyu.

"After all... not every parent will immediately suspect that their child is gay," Jiang Shiyu said, "and those things don't explain anything."

"...Yes, it doesn't explain anything," Yan An leaned back on the sofa and looked at Jiang Shiyu, "but I... Jiang Shiyu, I'm a little scared."

Jiang Shiyu froze for a moment, stood up, probably wanted to sit next to him, thought about it and sat down again.

"Are you afraid that the cold will infect me?" Yan An looked at him.

"En." Jiang Shiyu responded.

"It's okay, it doesn't matter if you sit together, I have no intention of kissing you right now," Yan An patted the sofa cushion next to him, "Come."

Jiang Shiyu could only sit there.

As soon as he sat down, Yan An's arms came over. It was summer, separated by such a thin layer of fabric, as if his skin was stuck together.

Jiang Shiyu didn't move, and let him hug him.

"I just thought that she would find out later that she would be very disappointed when she found out that I was actually different from the Yan An she had imagined." If anything, I really really have no way to deal with it, I don't want her to think I'm sick."

"Well," Jiang Shiyu patted him on the shoulder, "After all, you never thought about it."

"Aren't you very cowardly?" Yan An pressed his eyes on Jiang Shiyu's shoulder, "I need you to enlighten me in my studies, and I also need this aspect."

"Who told me to be your boyfriend?" Jiang Shiyu was amused, but not so happy.

Yan An didn't smile either.

They originally thought that after the college entrance examination, everything went well, and they could talk about it later.

But the things that were received in the nightstand reminded them that this matter could not be thought of later.

Mention can be mentioned at any point in the future, but you must think about it and make more psychological preparations to face the storm that is destined to usher.

Yan An kind of hates this kind of self. Just thinking about it makes him feel powerless and scared and wants to shrink his head back. He also wants to think about the future clearly and clearly like Jiang Shiyu. He wants to come out, confess to his family, and give himself love. A confession.

He can't do it at all.

Jiang Shiyu should also be disappointed by his reaction like this.

It's okay to do it once or twice, but if you do it too many times, you can't face this matter, and no one can stand it.

"I know why you don't want to talk on the phone," Jiang Shiyu patted him on the back and said softly, "Are you afraid that no one can rely on you when you are sad?"

"I can rely on little hailstones." Yan An said sullenly.

"Little Hail, don't scratch you," Jiang Shiyu said, "You're getting more and more irritable."

"It's summer." Yan An continued.

Jiang Shiyu laughed twice, but didn't continue to answer.

The mobile phone in their pocket vibrated many times, neither of them took out the mobile phone to take a look. Their future seemed to be confused. After going through the college entrance examination, the short-circuit of the future only briefly revealed a small section of the road. .

What's more, in the future, the road is still filled with layers of fog.

"Jiang Shiyu." Yan An called him.

"En." Jiang Shiyu stopped touching the phone and responded seriously.

"I didn't say it on the phone, not because I was afraid that there would be no one to rely on when I was sad," Yan An paused for a while, then spoke in a very small voice, and clenched his hands again, "I'm... afraid My mother heard."

I can’t understand it in words when I send a message, but I’m afraid that people will hear it in voice.

Yan An felt as if he had personally pushed this relationship into an invisible quagmire.

That kind of irritability surged into his heart again, and he pinched his palm with his nails, extremely despised such anxiety.

The sound insulation in the house is not so bad that if he calls someone in the room, his whisper will be heard.

But after finding out that his mother might find out about his relationship with Jiang Shiyu, he suddenly lost the courage to speak.

No.

can not do this.

Yan An knew very well that this was something he had to face.

But when he closed his eyes, what he saw was Aunt Wang, it was Ran Hang, and it was the blood falling from upstairs, pouring down on him like a torrential rain. When he opened his eyes, what he saw was his mother standing in the room, full of blood. face disappointed.

The shackles of the hospital are on the hands, the bitterness of the medicine is in the mouth, and everything has deteriorated in the ears, heart, and nasal cavity.

Yan An didn't want to do this.

He squeezed so hard that his hands were shaking, suddenly a hand reached out, took his hand, opened his fingers one by one, and then inserted his own hand in, Yan An's eyes widened , trembling and breathing like waking up from a dream.

He swallowed, looked up at Jiang Shiyu, and said with a smile, "Why?"

"Do you feel that after the college entrance examination, those things that were excluded by you have come back to your mind?" Jiang Shiyu turned his head and rubbed against his face, "It's okay, didn't we think about it before?" ? How should I come out, how should I say it, how should I deal with it..."

"... Mmm." Yan An looked at him.

"It's okay, Yan An," Jiang Shiyu smiled, "I'm still saying what I said before, I don't think your mother will be like Aunt Wang."

"Really." Yan An's eyes were confused.

Probably it was his mother's sudden discovery of those little things he had pressed under the bed that made him fall into panic.

Still haven't recovered yet.

If it wasn't for the fear of infection, Jiang Shiyu would really like to kiss him.

He didn't want Yan An to catch a cold too, and he would bring Xie Lanlan with him when the time came. The three of them were all sniffling when they went out, and those who didn't know thought why the three of them were there.

So he could only kiss Yan An on the side of the face, and said, "You're just scared, aren't you?"

"..." Yan An was silent for a long time, and then gave a soft "hmm".

"Do you want me to purr for you?" Jiang Shiyu raised his hand and rubbed his head twice.

"Go away," Yan An laughed twice, arching his head towards Jiang Shiyu's neck, and his whole body was about to ride on him, "I just...don't dare to think about it, do you know that Jiang Shiyu didn't pass the college entrance examination? Before it’s over, I don’t think anything matters, and there is such an important thing as the college entrance examination standing in front of me, and I haven’t finished the college entrance examination yet, so why do I want to come out.”

"Ah." Jiang Shiyu responded.

"Now that the exam is over, it's as if..." Yan An paused, "It's as if all obstacles are gone, and I have to face this fear directly."

Then the shock of being discovered by my mother became the fuse of all uneasy factors.

Jiang Shiyu sighed softly, thought for a while, stroked his head and said, "Actually... there's no need to think so complicatedly."

"Huh?" Yan An raised his head and looked at him.

"If we come out naturally, it will be the best when we both graduate from college and have a wider world and more time to deal with all of this," Jiang Shiyu said, "If we come out suddenly... ...wouldn't be the worst possible outcome."

"Why?" Yan An asked puzzled.

"At least...you have me by your side?" Jiang Shiyu thought about it, and was amused, "Isn't it quite narcissistic?"

Yan An stared at him for a few seconds, then suddenly raised his head and kissed Jiang Shiyu on the lips.

Jiang Shiyu tilted his head back vigorously, Yan An still wanted to kiss him, but he directly raised his hand to cover his mouth.

"What are you doing?!" Yan An yelled, "I'm fucking molesting you, look at you like that!"

"Cold!" Jiang Shiyu covered his mouth and yelled, "I'll leave it to you!"

"Let's just pass!" Yan An continued to roar, "Anyway, Xie Lanlan also has a cold! We are a three-person team! We are in trouble together!"

"You have to catch a cold too, right?" Jiang Shiyu still covered his mouth with helpless eyes.

"It seems that we have a tacit understanding." Yan An snapped his fingers.

"Come on," Jiang Shiyu raised his hand and flicked on his forehead, "Hurry up and go out, my phone has been vibrating for a long time, probably the message from Lao Liu and the others."

Yan An got down from him, and clicked his tongue several times regretfully.

"What a good boyfriend," Yan An said, "I don't even allow kisses."

"When I get better from the cold," Jiang Shiyu found a piece of paper and blew his nose, "Do you think it's okay to kiss me non-stop for ten days and nights?"

"Okay." Yan An was happy.

The two packed up their things and went out. When they opened the door, Yan An suddenly hugged him from behind.

"Jiang Shiyu," Yan An said softly, "Then what, I'm sorry... I don't want to be so entangled."

"Well," Jiang Shiyu patted his arm, "I understand."

"Thank you." Yan An said seriously.

"Yeah." Jiang Shiyu smiled.