imaginary rival

Yan An was a little absent-minded throughout the whole day's class.

Jiang Shiyu counted for him. On average, in a class, he would be stared at by the teacher four or five times, then called up to answer questions, and finally went to the back of the classroom to stand for punishment. The process was smooth and smooth, and he suddenly understood why Teacher Liu called them Don't fall in love in the third year of high school.

As soon as school was over in the afternoon, Teacher Liu came to the class and looked inside: "Yan An!"

"Ouch." Yan An muttered in a low voice.

"Come to the office!" Teacher Liu continued to shout.

"You wait for me at the school gate," Yan An said to Jiang Shiyu, "It's at the canteen."

"Okay." Jiang Shiyu nodded, and walked out of the classroom with Xie Lanlan carrying his schoolbag.

Sun Ke and the others dragged the hall today, Xie Lanlan and Jiang Shiyu were waiting together at the canteen, the two bought ice cream and squatted there to eat, the sun was shining all over the playground, and the temperature was not as high as it was a few days ago.

Jiang Shiyu scooped up a spoonful of chocolate-flavored one, stuffed it into his mouth, thought for a while, and asked, "Is Yan An the kind of person who feels particularly insecure?"

"Huh?" Xie Lanlan scooped up a spoonful of vanilla flavor, "I don't know."

Jiang Shiyu looked at her.

"He was quite insecure when he was a child, but I don't know when he grows up. He was... not a child at that time, he was about 12 years old." Xie Lanlan tried to recall, "At that time, he was very afraid of ghosts. "

Jiang Shiyu paused for a while, it should be just after Ran Hang jumped off the building.

"I keep asking me if there are really no ghosts in the world. I keep asking me. I think he is too annoying, so I let him ask others." When Xie Lanlan said this, his face suddenly became speechless. "Then he asked I'm a mother."

"...Ah." Jiang Shiyu imagined the scene.

"During that time he asked almost everyone around him," Xie Lanlan continued, "'There are really no ghosts in the world?' 'There will be no ghosts chasing me, right?' He kept asking. "

"En." Jiang Shiyu nodded.

Yan An kept asking him the same question.

Did you really kiss me?

you like me, right?

"Maybe he will be like this when he is particularly afraid. During that time, the matter of Ran Hang..." Seeing Sun Ke coming, Xie Lanlan stood up, stretched, turned her head and glanced at Jiang Shiyu, "You Have you confessed?"

Jiang Shiyu didn't say anything, but looked up at her.

"It's nothing, I just feel that the atmosphere between the two of you is weirder than before." Xie Lanlan put away the ice cream package, threw it aside, and said in a low voice, "...this road is very difficult."

"I know," Jiang Shiyu said, "but I have no choice."

Xie Lanlan froze for a moment, nodded, without saying anything more, got up and left with Sun Ke.

Almost 10 minutes later, Yan An came out from the teaching building. He was probably in a daze after being chanted a lot. Jiang Shiyu thought it was funny, so he walked over and asked, "You got scolded?"

"No," Yan An went into the canteen to buy water, and threw a bottle backhand to Jiang Shiyu, "So, Lao Liu and I chatted about something."

Jiang Shiyu turned on the water and glanced at him.

"He asked me if I was in a relationship." Yan An continued.

"What did you say?" Jiang Shiyu asked.

"He told me that if you haven't talked about it, don't even think about talking about it, and if you do, don't break up." Yan An didn't answer him, "He also hinted to me that Xie Lanlan's grades are very good, and I am also very hopeful. The two of us must not hurt each other."

"...Oh." Jiang Shiyu smiled.

"Why does Lao Liu also think that Xie Lanlan and I are together?" Yan An was puzzled.

Jiang Shiyu smiled and said nothing, drank some water and walked towards home with Yan An.

Halfway through the journey, Yan An suddenly recovered, covered the water in his hand, and said, "I told Lao Liu that I didn't talk about it."

"Huh?" Jiang Shiyu was stunned for a moment before he realized it, then he raised his hand and rubbed his head, "Yeah, I see."

Yan An didn't speak.

The two fell into silence again, until they reached the door of Jiang Shiyu's house, the two said goodbye, turned around, and went their separate ways.

In addition to asking him if he was in a relationship, Lao Liu said the most: "I'm already in my third year of high school, and time is running out, so I can't go on in a trance like this."

time is limited.

Whether it's the time to stay in school, or to go to school with Jiang Shiyu, chat, play ball, etc., there is not much time for various activities.

The countdown to the college entrance examination in front of the classroom is like a blunt knife, sticking to the neck and grinding it a little bit, making it impossible to ignore the pain it brings.

Time was running out, and he couldn't hesitate any longer.

In fact, there are two paths in front of him now. He can choose to continue to pretend to be stupid and resist the topic of homosexuality. Jiang Shiyu's aggressive personality will definitely not force anything, and he will not continue to say anything. Even as long as he said "we are still the same as before", Jiang Shiyu could continue to cooperate.

But this was too cruel for Jiang Shiyu.

Jiang Shiyu liked him.

Although he didn't know what to like, Jiang Shiyu admitted that he liked himself.

Then it is impossible for me to pretend to be stupid anymore.

So there was only one road left before him.

It was almost one o'clock when Yan An finished his homework. He quickly cleaned up and lay down on the bed to sleep. The little hailstone that had been lying on the bed was awakened by him, and he meowed very irritably. Yan An was not in a good mood Meowed back, turned over, and fell asleep.

But can't sleep.

It may be due to the excessive pressure. Yan An felt that his hair was about to fall out, and he washed his hair while taking a bath at night. He was afraid that if he grabbed a lot of hair, it would fall off, let alone fall asleep easily.

Tired must be tired, I just finished writing a few sets of papers and practice questions, how can I not be tired, but... I can't sleep.

His mind was full of things about him and Jiang Shiyu, and when they were mixed together, his heart would feel flustered.

Can no longer escape.

It would be unfair to Jiang Shiyu to dodge any further.

Yan An didn't remember whether he slept or not. Anyway, when he opened his eyes, the phone displayed 05:30, a time when he couldn't sleep and woke up too early.

The first thought in my mind when I wake up is still before going to bed, and I can no longer escape it.

Yan An sat up, woke up the little hail, hugged it and sucked it for a while, then suddenly dropped the cat, turned over and got out of bed.

Jiang Shiyu has already said that he likes himself, so he must respond to this feeling.

We can't let it hang like this, there are some words and things that must be answered properly.

Yan An finished washing, changed his clothes, put on his schoolbag, added cat food for Xiao Binghai, and rushed out of the house in one go. It was only six o'clock, and the sky had already brightened a lot, but it was raining lightly today, and it was gloomy. He took out his umbrella from his schoolbag , quickly rushed towards Jiang Shiyu's house.

Response.

have to respond.

I like you, I like you too, hug or bow face to face, start dating, fall in love.

A very smooth and normal set of operations.

Not abnormal, not sick, not going to a dead end - he only needs to think about the present, and think about the future before the future comes.

Response.

Yan An stood at the gate of Jiang Shiyu's residential area, looking at the wet road illuminated by the street lamps. He didn't have the courage to step in, so he leaned to the side and stood where he was, his eyes sore.

waste.

Two seconds before the alarm clock rang, Jiang Shiyu just woke up.

He quickly stretched out his hand, and completely killed the alarm clock that had just rang twice, then looked at the ceiling, took a deep breath, turned over and got up.

It's been getting colder recently, and it's raining again sooner or later, Jiang Shiyu looked out the window, although the rain wasn't heavy, he still had to bring an umbrella to go out.

After washing, Jiang Shiyu dialed Yan An's phone while changing his clothes. The phone rang until it was automatically hung up, but no one answered. woke up.

But after the fifth call was hung up, Jiang Shiyu recalled Yan An's confused state yesterday, frowned, transferred the call to Xie Lanlan, and asked, "Is Yan An with you?"

"Ah?" Xie Lanlan hadn't woken up yet, "What did you say?"

"Yan An," Jiang Shiyu said, "is he with you?"

"No," Xie Lanlan sat up, "what's wrong with him?"

"...He didn't answer the phone," Jiang Shiyu's hands moved a little faster, "Can you try calling?"

When Xie Lanlan heard this, she immediately hung up the phone and called Yan An, but Yan An didn't answer after several calls. She called Yan's mother, and Yan's mother said that Yan An had already left the house.

"Maybe he went to school," Xie Lanlan said with some uncertainty, "Let's go to school to find him first."

Jiang Shiyu responded quickly, hung up the phone, hung up the phone, changed his clothes quickly, took his schoolbag and started rushing out.

Went to school?

The person who usually wakes up after three phone calls, got up early to go to school today?

What is the reason for such a sudden abnormality?

Jiang Shiyu put the key in his pocket, strode to the elevator, and took a deep breath.

It must have scared him.

Because he admitted to being gay, kissed him, and then admitted that he liked him, Yan An had been in a daze for a long time.

Shouldn't admit it.

It was the most critical moment in the third year of high school. Knowing how resistant Yan An was to homosexuality, they just went to see Ran Hang. So many factors came together. Why did Yan An admit it because he said "not afraid"?

Yan An is so afraid of this matter, how could he not be afraid, now he doesn't answer the phone, and he goes out so early... Why did he go?

Will something happen?

Impossible, Yan An is almost an adult, what could happen?

The elevator never came up, stuck on the fifth floor and didn't know what he was doing, Jiang Shiyu clicked his tongue irritably, turned his head and rushed into the stairs, and ran down quickly.

It rained all night outside, and there were pools of puddles of water on the ground. Jiang Shiyu strode across the water, rushed out of the community and ran towards the school.

The continuous drizzle patted on his face, it was cold and uncomfortable, like the panic welling up in his heart, he rushed forward, but before he had crossed the street in front, a hurried voice came from behind: "Jiang Shi give!"

Jiang Shiyu's heart tightened, he turned his head quickly, and Yan An chased after him with an umbrella.

"What are you running for!" Yan An ran over, breathless, "Damn it, I didn't even see you before you ran out."

"What are you doing here?" Jiang Shiyu frowned and took two steps towards him, his tone a little irritable.

"Huh?" Yan An was stunned.

"I didn't answer the phone and didn't return the message. I stood on the side of the road early in the morning and didn't go to school." Jiang Shiyu stared at Yan An, the helplessness and forbearance in his tone almost reached the extreme. He pressed it back, "What do you want to do, Yan An?"

Yan An looked at Jiang Shiyu and was completely stunned.

Jiang Shiyu didn't wear glasses, his face was not very good-looking, obviously caused by not sleeping well, his hair was messed up, and the collar of his school uniform was turned inside, he didn't look at all like that clean Jiang Shiyu.

"I, I didn't hear it," Yan An took a small step back, quickly took out the phone, and saw that Jiang Shiyu had called him a lot, and there were many missed calls from Xie Lanlan, "... I seem to have pressed the phone accidentally. It's time for silence."

Jiang Shiyu looked at him, and suddenly took a deep breath.

"You're here to look for me, aren't you?" Jiang Shiyu returned to his usual tone.

Yan An looked at him, clenched his hands a little bit, and Jiang Shiyu held back his emotions again, not venting or breaking out, and he was aiming at himself again.

"I...that's it," Yan An said in a low voice, "Suddenly wanted to come to you."

"Well," Jiang Shiyu looked at him, "what's the matter?"

Yan An stared at him for a while, and the panic in his heart kept surging, almost drowning him.

Because he didn't answer the phone or reply to messages, Jiang Shiyu suddenly didn't look like Jiang Shiyu, and changed back to Jiang Shiyu the moment he saw him.

Just as he expected.

As long as he says "we are still the same as before", Jiang Shiyu will definitely cooperate with him.

This is so unfair.

"I, that is," Yan An bit his lips, "I want to tell you, what, I like..."

"Ah," Jiang Shiyu came back to his senses, reached out and patted his arm, "It's okay, you don't have to answer me."

"Why don't you need to answer?" Yan An stared at him and roared, "Don't you have a heart? Have no emotions and needs? Do you think that it doesn't matter what you do, you are a fucking idiot?!"

"I have a need," Jiang Shiyu said calmly, "Can you give it?"

"I just... don't understand," Yan An seemed a little timid after yelling, looked down at the ground, and squatted down slowly, "Why are we like this? Why are we different from others?"

Jiang Shiyu looked down at him, and after a while, followed him and squatted down.

"I just don't understand... I used to think when I was a child, why am I different from others?" Yan An's voice became very hoarse, "Why?"

"Xiao'an." Jiang Shiyu watched his hair spin.

"I'm scared." Yan An said, with a strong nasal tone in his voice.

"...I know," Jiang Shiyu said with a frown, "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said it, I..."

"No, it's none of your business, Jiang Shiyu," Yan An looked up at Jiang Shiyu, his eyes were so red, "Do you know what my mother said to me after Ran Hang's accident?"

Jiang Shiyu suddenly had a very bad premonition in his heart.

Yan An was afraid of homosexuality and did not dare to admit that he was gay. All the resistance seemed to have a deeper reason at this moment.

"She told me that brother Ran Hang was ill, and told me not to visit him again," Yan An blinked, tears streaming down her eyes, "She is my mother, she thinks it is illness."

Jiang Shiyu didn't know what to say, his heart was wrenching, and he felt pain.

"My mother is very good to me, and I like her very much, but in her view, this is a disease. I dare not think that one day she will discover something and become like Aunt Wang, or my family will become... what should I do? Face them?" Yan An squeezed his wrist tightly and said, "I'm very scared."

Jiang Shiyu broke off his fingers, then stretched out his own hand, letting him hold it firmly.

"Jiang Shiyu." Yan An choked and called out.

"En." Jiang Shiyu nodded.

"I'm very scared," Yan An's hands trembled with force, "Do you understand?"

"...I understand." Jiang Shiyu sniffed and continued to nod.

"Jiang Shiyu." Yan An yelled again.

Jiang Shiyu looked at him with gentle eyes.

"I really, really like you," Yan An bit his lip, blood flowed from his mouth, tears flowed out, "You..."

"I know," Jiang Shiyu looked up at him, his eyes were a little red, and smiled, "I always knew."

Yan An pulled the corners of his mouth into a smile, and Jiang Shiyu drooped the corners of his mouth before he could even see his smiling face. Yan An raised his hands to cover his face, buried his head in his arms, maybe he was crying, Jiang Shiyu Not sure.

After hearing a dull sob from him, Jiang Shiyu was sure that Yan An was really crying.

He's taken that step.

There is no way to turn back.

In the end, he still chose to stand by Jiang Shiyu's side. More, in the future, the problems that he still can't figure out now, they will solve together.

"It's okay," Jiang Shiyu put his arms around his head, and knelt on the ground with one knee, "There will be a way, maybe not now, but in the future, the two of us will have more courage to negotiate with them, okay ?"

Yan An was silent for a while, and threw himself into Jiang Shiyu's arms. Jiang Shiyu didn't squat down, and sat on the ground directly. His trousers were soaked in mud and water, but he didn't move. He patted Yan An's back lightly. Tell him, "It'll be fine."

Xie Lanlan stood behind the wall at the front corner, raised her head, and raised her umbrella a little bit. She heard the conversation between Jiang Shiyu and Yan An getting quieter, the rain gradually stopped, and the phone in her pocket vibrated. It was probably a message from Sun Ke, she took out her phone to look at it, and replied to the message, Yan An and Jiang Shiyu over there had already stood up.

She thought about it, but still didn't bother them. She breathed a sigh of relief, smiled, turned and walked towards the other side.