imaginary rival

Many times, children don't know where their parents' bottom line is.

Just like Ran Hang's family, it was broken so suddenly and as if it was expected, it was difficult to explain and understand what his parents did when they collapsed, so neither of them spoke again.

Jiang Shiyu's eyebrows were furrowed all the time, and his eyes fixed on one point, without changing for a long time.

Turning his face away, Yan An took a deep breath, and said it, as if his fear had been relieved.

It might be a bit selfish to say this, but Yan An really thinks so. After telling a lot of emotions and things, there will be a feeling of being helped by others, and it will be much easier.

Jiang Shiyu happened to be such a suitable person to listen to.

"I'm telling you this, not entirely because of... the quilt falling off today." Yan An scratched Jiang Shiyu's palm with his fingertips, "Aunt Wang called me."

"Ran Hang's mother?" Jiang Shiyu looked up at him.

"Well," Yan An said, "She always wanted me to visit Ran Hang."

"...Why?" Jiang Shiyu frowned and asked.

"Ran Hang... only wakes up when he sees me." When Yan An said this, he used a little more strength to pinch Jiang Shiyu's fingers. "When he jumped off the building, he might really It was abnormal, and was locked up in the hospital later, so..."

"Normal people in that kind of place will become abnormal after staying for a long time," Jiang Shiyu said, biting his lips, "He was forced by his family."

Yan An loosened his hand quite a bit, and said in a daze, "Yes, yes, Ran Hang is not sick."

Or in the beginning there was no disease.

It was hard to say later, anyway, during the few times Yan An went to see him, apart from depression and fear, he could feel a kind of powerlessness.

Once a mental patient is admitted to the hospital, if he wants to leave the hospital, in addition to the doctor's examination, his family must sign, otherwise he will never be able to escape from there.

Ran Hang was locked up, by his "illness" and by his family.

Jiang Shiyu was silent for a long time again. A bedside lamp was turned on in the room, and the light was not bright. Yan An saw that his expression was not very good-looking, so he was stunned for a while, and immediately said: "Don't think about it, I will It's just... I just want to tell you, I don't want you to empathize with me, don't feel sad, I..."

me what?

I will be sad too?

You want to listen to my story because I am sad, I am sad after telling the story and seeing you sad, I am also sad, everyone is so sad that they are intertwined to become the five rings of the Olympic Games?

Yan An pursed his lips, and when he was about to speak, Jiang Shiyu said, "I might have substituted it a little bit."

He said, looking up at Yan An: "But no matter what emotions I have, they won't be as strong as what you felt when you went through these things, right?"

Yan An froze for a moment, but didn't speak.

"Don't be sad, if you have to see Ran Hang... I'll go with you," Jiang Shiyu said, "OK?"

Yan An didn't say whether it was okay or not, but stared at Jiang Shiyu for a long time as if his eyes were blurred, Jiang Shiyu felt a little uncomfortable watching him, his ears felt hot unconsciously, Yan An suddenly turned over and got out of bed, panicking Put on your shoes and stride towards the door.

"Yan An?" Jiang Shiyu called out in doubt.

"I," Yan An opened the door and walked out, shouting loudly, "Go to the bathroom!"

Jiang Shiyu paused for a while, then smiled helplessly, leaning against the head of the bed thinking about something.

Yan An went into the toilet and squatted down with his back against the door.

To be honest, apart from being frightened by the loud noise today, he really didn't have any particularly negative emotions. He was simply distracted, dazed, and didn't want to talk anymore, but Jiang Shiyu's words suddenly made him Feel a kind of depression.

It was as if the things he had really experienced a few years ago had come back again, one by one reappearing in front of his eyes, making his eyes blush.

Jiang Shiyu didn't say that he didn't care about this matter, he didn't need to care about it, he didn't ask why you meddle in other people's business, why did you go to see Ran Hang?Nor did they forcefully tell him that homosexuality is not a disease, and who is right and who is wrong.

Jiang Shiyu said, I will accompany you.

This gave Yan An confidence in his heart.

After all, they are not very old, but they like to be accompanied when they do everything, especially for this kind of thing, the feeling of someone actively asking to accompany you is different from that of begging others to accompany you.

Jiang Shiyu.

Yan An put his eyes on his knees, and pressed his hands on his chest, trying to stop the joy and satisfaction that gradually spread out.

But if something like emotion can be stopped, it is not called emotion.

What should I do, Jiang Shiyu.

Yan An squatted for a while, took several deep breaths before getting up, looked in front of the mirror, and walked out of the toilet after making sure that his expression was not weird.

Back in the room, Jiang Shiyu was leaning on the bedside and playing with his mobile phone. When he saw him coming in, he smiled and didn't say much.

"Let's go to see Ran Hang tomorrow," Yan An walked to the bed and said, "Before school starts...at least one paragraph of these things will come to an end. I'm in my third year of high school. Aunt Wang probably won't call again What, she's actually quite a nice person, she's just become a little weird in the past two years."

"Okay." Jiang Shiyu nodded and looked up at him again.

Yan An lowered his head and looked at him for a while, then suddenly said, "Then what, why don't you give him a hug and give him some strength."

Without hesitation, Jiang Shiyu stood up, opened his arms and hugged Yan An vigorously.

Just as he was about to let go, Yan An's arms came up and he hugged him as hard.

Jiang Shiyu froze for a moment, and hugged him even harder.

Yan An hugged him even harder.

"Are you naive?" Jiang Shiyu smiled.

"You are so mature," Yan An hugged Jiang Shiyu, resting his chin on his shoulder, "You are mature, don't fight me back."

Jiang Shiyu clicked his tongue, let Yan An hug him like this, and patted Yan An lightly on his back.

Little Hail raised its head and flicked its tail, admiring the bewildering behavior of humans.

"My back is so itchy." Yan An suddenly shrugged, "Scratch me."

Jiang Shiyu paused for a while, and said, "Can't you scratch yourself?"

"Isn't it convenient for you? You put your hands on your back," Yan An forcefully went downstairs to Jiang Shiyu again, "Hurry up!"

Jiang Shiyu slapped Yan An on the back: "Is it still itchy?"

"Itch!" Yan An growled, "The fucking position of the fan is wrong!"

"...All right." Jiang Shiyu scratched his back helplessly, and after scratching the wrong position again, Yan An began to direct the direction, and finally succeeded in scratching Yan An's most itchy position.

"Cool." Yan An let out a long sigh of relief.

"...You have the skills to command me, and you'll be finished scratching yourself." Jiang Shiyu sighed.

"How cool it is for others to scratch your back," Yan An said, letting go of Jiang Shiyu, and smiled, "It looks like no one has scratched your back."

Jiang Shiyu looked at his eye sockets and heaved a sigh of relief after confirming that there was no trace of crying.

"But it's true," Yan An said, "You will kill anyone who dares to approach you or touch you, right?"

Jiang Shiyu stared at Yan An without saying a word.

"Except for me," Yan An patted his chest, "I'm more awesome."

"...Okay," Jiang Shiyu didn't bother to refute, "You are more awesome."

Yan An was happy for a while.

The two chatted for a while, thinking that they had to go to the Fifth Hospital tomorrow and go to bed early, Yan An relaxed a little and fell asleep very quickly.

As soon as Jiang Shiyu found a comfortable position, he felt that Yan An beside him had slowed down his breathing. He propped himself up and took a look. Yan An was really asleep, and he was still clutching the hem of his clothes.

Does this person have to grab something to sleep?

Was it a claw machine in your previous life?

Jiang Shiyu thought about it, patted the back of his hand very lightly, lay down, looked at the ceiling, and couldn't tell what his mood was, Ran Hang's story was too depressing, and he couldn't fall asleep.

Emotions have always been in the bottom of my heart, but I can't find a peak. That story is a lake of stagnant water left behind in my heart. Maybe it will never surge, but it will always exist.

In this way, it is understandable that Yan An is afraid of homosexuality. After all, it is difficult for him not to be afraid of what he has experienced.

but……

Jiang Shiyu stared at the ceiling, thinking slowly.

According to Yan An's temper, it should not be to fear and alienate homosexuality itself, but to resist what Aunt Wang and the others do. If one sees homosexuality, one will think of Ran Hang and then think of jumping off a building, so it is not unreasonable to be afraid and alienated , but... Jiang Shiyu always felt that something was wrong.

Forget it.

He is not Yan An, so he will not understand what Yan An is thinking.

The person next to him turned over, still holding on to his hem. Jiang Shiyu looked at it for a while, and couldn't understand why someone was sleeping while holding on to his hem. The posture was too strange. He thought for a while, and put Yan An's Grabbing it with his hand and stuffing the corner of his clothes, Yan An immediately grabbed it.

Jiang Shiyu paused for a while, thinking he was awake, so he called softly, "Yan An?"

His answer was a long breath.

Jiang Shiyu cleared his throat, and continued to call softly, "Yan An? Shu Ke? Asleep?"

Every time he uttered a word, he glanced at Yan An's reaction, but Yan An was really sound asleep, smacked his mouth impatiently, and then turned over and lay down again, his hair was already a bit messy, But his eyelashes never trembled from beginning to end, and he slept as if in a coma.

Jiang Shiyu sat up, and when he moved, the little hailstone moved too. They looked at each other for a while, and Jiang Shiyu felt an inexplicable guilt.

He looked away and looked at Yan An. The air conditioner was placed across his body, covering the waist exposed by the rolled up clothes. Because Jiang Shiyu sat up, the corners of the clothes slipped from his hands. Now he grabbed the hem of his clothes again.

Jiang Shiyu stared at Yan An for a long time, then slowly bent down, hesitated when he was about to approach Yan An's lips, moved up, and kissed Yan An's forehead lightly.

His lips stayed there for a moment, he could feel Yan An's breath spraying on his body, as if Yan An's body temperature was also touching him, they seemed to be embracing each other, but in fact they were not, Jiang Shiyu supported his body, I dare not let myself meet Yan An in more places.

After stealing the kiss, he sat up straight, breathed heavily and carefully, as if he had just stolen 800 million, and was thinking about how to escape, his heart was beating vigorously, the deer he hit was replaced by an elephant, Jiang Shiyu took a while to recover In a daze, he looked at Yan An's face in a daze.

After a long time, Jiang Shiyu lay back, put the corner of his clothes back into Yan An's hands, closed his eyes and forced himself to sleep.