boy mature

One

After discovering that I like Liang Chi, my psychology began to undergo some subtle changes, and I became cautious and even extremely sensitive.

I don't know if it's because of my personality or because of my special identity. I'm like a frightened bird, and the slightest abnormality will make me restless.

It was also during this period that a heart-wrenching disaster occurred all over the world, which people called "SARS"... In November [-], the first case of SARS appeared in my country, and the epidemic began to spread to all parts of the country in March of the following year , all compatriots entered the period of 'anti-Africa'.

I was 13 years old that year and had just entered the second year of junior high school.Haven't experienced real death yet.It wasn't until our school was put on a yellow cordon that afternoon that I didn't know that death was so close to me.

A boy in the next class was found to be infected, and the whole school was quarantined.

The weaker girl burst into tears and burst into tears. I sat on the seat and felt that something was wrong with my whole body.

Outside the classroom is a sunny day in March in the south. All the vegetation is slowly waking up in the land. There is a touch of emerald green everywhere under the sun, and the coolness of winter is still in the air. Everything in front of me seems to be the same as in previous spring days. , but something has changed.

Most people's eyes are full of caution, and a slight cough will attract a large group of frightened gazes.Anxiety, uneasiness... No matter who is facing death, he can't help the fear that bursts out of his heart.

Of course, Liang Chi and Yu Meng were definitely not included in this majority.

I turned my face and saw my deskmate, Yu Meng, was picking out a bee that accidentally fell into her water glass with her hands. The bee jumped a few times on the book paper, and then flew away with flapping wings No, she shook the water glass, regardless of Sanqi 21, raised her chinless face and drank the glass of water in one gulp.

I turned my head and looked forward again, Liang Chi was probably writing some set of papers again, he was concentrating on lowering his head, and never stopped writing.

These two people are like gods who don't hear anything outside the window, and do whatever they need to do.Just as I was thinking about it, I couldn't help but sneezed twice. Everyone raised their heads and looked at me. I was so embarrassed that Liang Chi who was sitting in front also turned his head and looked at me with his black eyes. Seeing that I was fine, he turned his head away again.

That blow made my face unbearably hot, and then, there was a deliberately prolonged "Oh~" sound beside me, and I turned my head to see Yu Meng looking at me with a gossip.

Seeing that I didn't speak, she crawled next to my ear and said in an ambiguous tone: "Xiao Tangtang..."

I pushed her fat face away: "Don't disgust me."

"Hehehe..." She laughed artificially.

I was a little embarrassed, so I asked knowingly, "What do you know?"

"It's trying to hide it." She said it bluntly.

"You... don't you find it strange?" I asked cautiously.

"What's strange?"

"I'm a boy." I said in a low voice.

She looked at me with contempt, probably because she saw my seriousness, and she said, "Please, Han Tang, don't you want to be so rude, people and animals can be together now, let alone two men?!"

She spoke loudly, and I was afraid that the people next to me would hear her, so I quickly covered her mouth, "Hush your voice." I looked around nervously, but luckily everyone was caught in the fear of 'SARS' and didn't pay attention to our side.

But Yu Meng pulled my hand away: "I said Han Tang, you can't do this, homosexuals are not criminals, why are you so obscene."

"You... what did you say?" I was incredulous.

She was confused by my reaction, I saw her puzzled face, and said, "What did you just say?"

"Wretched...wretched?" She questioned.

"No, last sentence."

"Gay?"

Yes, gay!

That was the first time I came into contact with this word. At that time, I was in the second year of junior high school. I only knew that I was a man but liked men, which was different from the people around me. There is such a title - homosexuality.

Three words separate me from normal people.

But obviously, I don't want to admit such a title.

"I'm not fucking!" I stood up and yelled at Yu Meng, everyone looked at me again, including Liang Chi of course!

I was at a loss and wanted to escape the prying eyes around me. I felt like an ugly monster whose human skin had finally been torn off. Everyone was laughing at my hypocrisy and embarrassment.For the first time, I was intimidated by who I was.

I escaped, I heard someone screaming, but I couldn't care less, I pulled the yellow cordon and disappeared into the alley of the town.

There are many things in this world that we dare not face even if we have the courage. This is the inherent timidity of human beings, and it is a kind of retreat from facing the truth of our own life.At such times, some people will lie to themselves; some people will break down and cry alone; some people will eat like crazy... and I will only run away... [-]

I ran desperately in the south city until I was exhausted, and finally I hid in an alley next to the factory in the east of the city.I know that many things can't be hidden for a while, but not for a lifetime. 'But I instinctively chose to escape.

I blamed my identity. At that time, the rebellion of youth had just begun, and I resented that my differences made me timid and timid.

I curled up at the end of the alley, the alley in early spring was still a bit cold, I couldn't help shivering, I saw the flowers and plants just beginning by the corner, and I started to feel sad for a 13-year-old boy, after a while, a pair of blue White sneakers appeared in front of my eyes.

I looked up and saw Liang Chi who was out of breath, he became blurred in front of me, only then did I realize that I was crying again.

It's fucking useless, I thought so, but my eyes crashed into Liang Chi's black pupils, he just stared at me like this, but this time no matter how he looked at me, I still couldn't control myself, my tears were all gone My life went downhill, and in the end I even burst into tears.

Liang Chi sighed, then bent down and sat next to me.

He didn't say a word, just sat next to me and listened to me cry silently, I thought, this guy is really amazing, my buddies are crying like Lin Daiyu next to him, yet he just sits peacefully like this.I was in a trance when his hand squeezed mine.

I froze, and the crying stopped naturally.

Grass, Liang Chi is stronger than any medicine for me.I think if I die one day, if he can kiss me, I can get up and run 3000 meters immediately, and then I can lie down in the coffin calmly!

This is the power of love?This fucking is the power of love.

Silence spread between us, I looked at the hand he held in mine, and then at his lowered black eyes, as if it was logical, I said, "Liang Chi."

"Ah."

Then, I said the most daring sentence in my life and I have been entangled in whether it is right or wrong. I said: "I seem to like you."

There is a musty smell of dampness in the alley in spring, and the temperature still makes people feel goose bumps when the wind blows in.I leaned against the wall, the cold wall behind me refreshed me, I looked at Liang Chi, at his white and blue school uniform, at that moment, the air seemed to be forbidden, and immediately after, all his movements were in front of me Zoom in infinitely.

I saw that he was obviously taken aback for a moment, and then he took my hand and slowly took it back. He was a little embarrassed, as if he wanted to say something, but he opened his mouth several times without making a single syllable.

Finally, I broke the embarrassing silence: "You...do you think I'm disgusting?" I asked cautiously.

He seemed shocked when I asked, and I saw him raise his head suddenly, with a tone of anxiety that he didn't usually have, "How could that be!" he said.

Both women and gays are extremely sensitive, otherwise there would not be so many artists.So as soon as he opened his mouth, I knew he was actually comforting me.

I couldn't help curling my lips.

"Don't cry." But no, so many times, it was the first time I heard him urge me not to cry. I was so moved that I squeezed out the last tear of the day, and then I really stopped crying.

"I'm a man." He finally said what he thought.

"I know."

"We can't be together."

"who said it."

"It's the rule."

"Who the fuck made the rules."

"It has been like this since ancient times."

"You fart!" I was a little anxious to jump over the wall.

……

"Well, I fart. But we can't be together." Our conversation was more and more like an eight o'clock TV show.

"Why." Look, I actually asked such a brainless heroine of a TV show that she has the nerve to ask.

"Don't do this." I pooh.

"No one likes you, can't you let me like you?" I felt a little servile.

"Actually, the class next door..." He seemed to be trying to make up a name in order not to admit defeat.

"What?" I interrupted him.

"That, Li Na said..."

"Are you fucking blind? Her skin is not as good as mine, and her eyes are not as big as mine. What do you like about her?" I interrupted him excitedly before he finished speaking.

Just as he was about to speak, I continued: "Don't fucking tell me you like her heart, I don't believe this kind of nonsense, the whole school knows that she has a congenital heart disease!"

He held back for a long time, and finally said a word, but it didn't kill me, he said: "At least she's a girl."

This worthless straight guy.

I felt aggrieved, I couldn't hold it back after holding it for a long time, and then wept silently.Liang Chi didn't leave either, just sat silently beside me and watched me cry until dusk, when the setting sun in the distance dyed the whole southern city into a blurred golden color, we sat side by side in that long alley , relatively silent.

God knows, at that moment, I wished I was a girl, at least, it would make the deadly atmosphere a little more comfortable.