please listen

Time seemed to stand still at this moment, and there was no sound in the dim compartment.

It was early morning, and there were only Yu Xingnan and Han Shen in the huge parking lot. They were staring at each other, and they were silent.

Han Shen was very calm, with no expression on his face, as if the decisive words just now didn't come from his mouth, he? His pair of bright peach blossom eyes were extremely quiet at the moment, fixedly staring at Yu Xingnan beside him .

No matter how calm Yu Xingnan was in trouble, he couldn't maintain his calm at this moment. His slender hands clenched the steering wheel, and his breath gradually became heavier. A pair of deep blue eyes stared straight at Han Shen, and his thin lips were tightly pursed. look like.

The two looked at each other like this? For a long time, when the line of sight was about to lose focus, Han Shen retracted his gaze, lowered his eyes, and finally raised his hand and rubbed his face.

Han Shen really couldn't bear it? Looking at Yu Xingnan's expression, this person is so powerful that he can touch his nerves and make his heart hurt along with it.Before that, he was afraid of seeing Yu Xingnan like this, so he couldn't be cruel, but it was because of his soft heart, which caused the current anxious situation. It all started with him, and it should be him Finish.For their future, they must make up their minds this time.

Han Shen calmed down, looked at the light and shadow of the headlights on the opposite white wall, and whispered to Yu Xingnan: "This is not the meaning of breaking up." Han Shen chose to explain this first, because he was very clear, Yu Xingnan The most unacceptable thing is to be separated forever.

"What does that mean?" Yu Xingnan swallowed his dry throat, his voice was a little hoarse, but even so, his eyes still stayed on Han Shen for a moment, as if it could impress people into his eyes, Never again? Don't let it go out and share it with others.

Han Shen curled his fingers, still looking at the opposite wall, did not answer directly, but asked: "Are you happy during this time?" Han Shen has experienced countless times, and persuaded Yu Xingnan It's still difficult, so he has to change his attitude this time, and can't yell so fiercely like before.

"As long as you're here, I'll be happy." Yu Xingnan said in a low voice.

Han Shen couldn't help but laugh, "You're still lying, if you're really happy, you won't have insomnia for several days in a row." Han Shen sighed softly and turned to look at Yu Xingnan, "Admit it, You are not doing well recently, not only do you want to make music, but also keep an eye on me and please me, but in the end you can’t get a smiley face... Is this the life you want. "

"Shen, it's because you don't get along well with me." Yu Xingnan replied with deep eyes.

Han Shen asked back: "Then have you ever wondered why I don't get along well with you?"

Yu Xingnan was silent for a moment, then tightened his hands on the steering wheel again, and said in a low voice after a long time: "I will change, but it will take time."

"But I'm afraid I won't be able to make it through!" Han Shen's tone suddenly became heavier.

Yu Xingnan felt a pain in his mouth, his Adam's apple twitched, and looked at Han Shen, "What can't last..."

"Feelings for you." Han Shen continued. "To be honest, I have never been so depressed since I was born. During this period, I always felt that I couldn't walk. Suffocation, difficulty in breathing, unable to move your head?, arms?, and even your legs. It’s like being tightly bound by an iron chain. No one can understand this feeling, and neither can you.”

Yu Xingnan paused. Hearing Han Shen say this for the first time, he felt so bitter, "Is it because of me?"

Han Shen didn't nod? He didn't shake his head. He just looked at Yu Xingnan, his eyes flushed, and said to himself, "But despite this, I still can't change it? Like you, it seems to have been engraved on all the cells in my body. Every moment something dies, but a new one is born soon."

Hearing this, Yu Xingnan's heart suddenly felt touched. Just as he was about to say something, he heard Han Shen continue, with a slightly heavy tone, "But I can still clearly feel that the dead cells during this period are more important than the new ones." many."

Yu Xingnan was startled slightly, then his pupils shrank suddenly, and his face became extremely ugly.

Seeing this, Han Shen smiled wryly, "I just hope that my cells that love you will not die, and I believe you? I don't want that day."

Yu Xingnan's breath was stagnant, and he immediately held Han Shen's hand, and said in a low voice: "Shen, trust me, give me some time, at most half a year."

Han Shen didn't dodge, but held Yu Xingnan's hand back, but shook his head helplessly and said, "That's not the case, what we need now is calmness. I've thought a lot in the past few days, too? I don't know if it's a psychological effect, but I always I feel that many things in the past were carefully planned by you, waiting for me to dance. Whether you used Tao Shangqian to make me jealous, or asked me to take you willingly when I went skiing with Fan Tian, ​​how dare you say that these things were not designed?"

Han Shen said with a sigh, "So, Xingnan, this relationship has been unfair from the beginning. You are rational and clear, and I am sinking day by day. You put the collar on me, but I thought it was the necklace that put my head on the initiative. Got it? Go in."

As soon as these words came out, Yu Xingnan's heart suddenly missed a beat, and the eyes that fell on Han Shen's side face became extremely complicated, and he said in a low voice after a long time: "Sorry, I can't control myself." After finishing speaking After a pause, he continued: "It's just that I'm not as sober as you think. If I was sober, I wouldn't let myself be with you back then."

Han Shen closed his eyes and smiled? Smiled, sighed: "It seems that we are not easy yet."

"So no matter what we encounter in the future, let's face it together, shall we?" Yu Xingnan's dialect? Inside? Outside, he still didn't want to be separated from Han Shen, and was trying his best to persuade Han Shen.

But when Yu Xingnan was thinking about what to say next, Han Shen suddenly said lightly, "But now you make me very painful."

Yu Xingnan was taken aback for a moment, and there was a sense of confusion in his eyes that he had never seen before, and he asked tentatively, "What, what?"

Han Shen broke free from Yu Xingnan's palm, took out a cigarette in his pocket and lit it, squinted his eyes and spit out a mess of clouds, then repeated the sentence just now, "But now you Makes me miserable."

pain... pain... pain...

Yu Xingnan's expression became sluggish because of these two words. The cool wind passed over his empty palm, as if it could blow all the way into his heart, bringing a severe cold. At the same time, these two words were back and forth in his mind Hovering, endlessly, finally severely broke their nerves.

The pain was only for a moment, and the rest became numb.

Yu Xingnan never thought that his? The one he loves the most, the lover for whom he? is willing to give everything, is suffering because of his existence at this moment.

This lover, Han Shen, has brought so many things to him. During the six months from the cold winter to the scorching heat, he seemed to be alive again, letting him know that not only music can touch his heart in this world, but also the relationship with his lover. Day and night as companions and sideburns, some smoked the smell of oil in the kitchen all day just to make him smile, some walked on eggshells just to hide their sins and stayed together forever, and some stayed up all night just to engrave the lover's face exactly into the marrow...

It's so beautiful, what he is looking forward to is so beautiful, so beautiful that he no longer deserves to have it.They will never be able to forget the late night when they were young. They put the violin that has been controlling their emotions in the mud full of fallen leaves, and used the tip of the compass to destroy the body of the violin little by little, and draw out One after another? Ugly? Incomparably long scars, in the ear-piercing sharp sound, buried the piano with his own hands in the underground that will never see the sun.

Yes, he? His nature is like this, he hates being influenced by anything, so he started to control everything, control the piano, control emotions, control friends, control lovers, control life... But when you hold everything around you in your hands, this Only then did he realize that he had lost his heart? Standing on the high platform he built for himself and looking down, he was the only one left in the whole world.

This is him, the one who can't have everything for a long time, is self-righteous, and makes his lover suffer all the time.

Perhaps this is the fate, it is destined that such a despicable and gloomy person, no matter how much they do, will not change the final destiny.

"Xingnan? Xingnan? Yu Xingnan!"

Yu Xing Nancai's thoughts were interrupted by this series of familiar voices. After focusing his eyes, Han Shen's slightly anxious face came into his eyes.

I saw Han Shen frowning, shaking his hands in front of Yu Xingnan's eyes, and at the same time tentatively asked: "Are you... all right?"

After Yu Xingnan came back to his senses, he decided to watch it? Han Shen for three seconds, and then suddenly asked, "How painful is it?"

Han Shen was startled, and it took him a while to realize what Yu Xingnan was talking about.Han Shen twisted his body and sat down, extinguished the cigarette that had burned to the end, looked at the last wisp of white smoke rising from the end of the cigarette, and finally said simply? One sentence: "I can't describe it."

In fact, Han Shen wanted to say that he was so painful that he lost himself, but he didn't say it out of his mouth, fearing that he would stab Yu Xingnan's heart again with a bloody knife.

To be honest, Han Shen felt extremely guilty about this moment. At the beginning, he was the one who didn't want to stalk Yu Xingnan and insisted on getting along with Yu Xingnan. Today, he was the one who cold-heartedly told Yu Xingnan to separate for the sake of freedom... He is selfish and indifferent, and everything follows his own temperament, like an unevolved? Successful lower animal, never abandoning the primitive instinct of seeking advantages and avoiding disadvantages, seemingly harmless enthusiasm on the outside, but it will be revealed when it touches his own interests With his fangs out, he was colder than anyone else in the fight.

However, when Han Shen fell into the abyss of self-blame and couldn't raise his head to look at the sky, Yu Xingnan suddenly said something quickly, "Let's separate."

Is the air quiet?

Han Shen looked at Yu Xingnan in shock, his heart twitched, and his whole body trembled. Before he could react, he heard Yu Xingnan whisper again: "I'll wait for the day when you won't be in pain anymore."

Yu Xingnan had no blood on his face, but his expression was so calm and composed, maintaining his usual demeanor, "Shen, during this period, I only ask you not to fall in love with others, can you do it?"

Han Shen endured the pain in his heart, and forced himself to hum.

But even after answering, Han Shen felt more guilty in his heart.Up to now, he? Still chose? Freedom at the first time. He didn't even bother to ask why Yu Xingnan agreed suddenly, as if he was afraid that the other party would go back on his word.

Yu Xingnan stared at Han Shen. He gritted his teeth and forcibly suppressed the urge to spend another night with Han Shen. He was afraid that he would not be able to control himself and would eventually stay back with shamelessness.

"Okay, that's it." Yu Xingnan lowered his voice to hide the choking in his throat.Say no more? Make any stops, push the car door and get off? Just as the car was about to close, Han Shen asked eagerly, "Wait, where are you going?"

Yu Xingnan held the car door handle tightly, looked at Han Shen and said, "Go to the hotel to get my things, and then leave."

As soon as these words came out, Han Shen curled his fingers suddenly, and there was a burst of soreness in his nasal cavity. Knowing that he should keep Yu Xingnan overnight at this time, he? His lips moved, and after a while, he said, "Shouldn't you have a farewell kiss... ..." Han Shen still didn't have the courage to stay.

Yu Xingnan's eyes darkened, and an almost imperceptible sense of disappointment flashed across his eyes. He shook his head, pulled out a light smile, and said, "The parting kiss might make me regret it, do you want more?"

Han Shen's eyelashes flickered, and a tear fell out of his red eyes. He clenched his fists tightly, and his body trembled slightly because of too much effort. He opened his mouth, but in the end he didn't say a word.

Seeing this, Yu Xingnan's Adam's apple twitched, his heart seemed to be slashed, and he wondered how painful his lover must be to react like this.

Yu Xingnan laughed? He didn’t want to embarrass Han Shen. His dark blue eyes looked like a starless night sky. Looking at Han Shen, he said the last sentence, “You go upstairs later and give me time to pack your luggage. We will meet." After that, he closed the car door gently, without even saying goodbye? Without mentioning it, he turned and walked towards the darkness...

Sitting on the co-pilot, Han Shen's body was stiff and unable to move, but he was trembling again. He stared straight at the white wall outside the windshield of the vehicle. The headlights reflected it very brightly, giving it a cold white glow. The bright light, after looking at it for a long time? I felt it was glaring, hurt my eye socket, and brought out endless tears.

At this moment, Han Shen's heart was twisted like a knife, and he was suffocated very much, but when he was in a trance, he seemed to hear a crisp sound of an iron chain being cut, which was deafening.

That was the voice from the bottom of his heart.