Tagged post bipolar omega

It was getting late, so Lu Jinsen didn't make tea for Xie Zhitang.

Lu Jinsen always consciously controls Xie Zhitang's intake of drugs.Xie Zhitang was not allowed to drink tea at night, not only because he was worried that drinking tea at night would make Xie Zhitang unable to sleep, but also because he was worried that the meth contained in the tea would affect Xie Zhitang's mood.

Lu Jinsen searched in the drawer, took out the dried chrysanthemums that Jiang Haichao gave last time, took out a bag and brewed a pot of chrysanthemum tea, poured Xie Zhitang a cup.

Xie Zhitang hadn't calmed down yet, tears piled up in his eyes, and then dripped onto Xie Zhitang's coat, forming a puddle on the coat.

Xie Zhitang shed tears without saying a word, and Lu Jinsen was also very troubled sitting opposite.

Lu Jinsen stayed with Xie Zhitang for a while, wanting him to clean up his emotions, but after half a cup of tea, Xie Zhitang not only failed to restrain his emotions, but tears flowed more and more, and soon his face was wet.

Lu Jinsen had no choice but to take out a handkerchief and hand it to Xie Zhitang, but Xie Zhitang didn't pick it up or move it.

Lu Jinsen got up and put the handkerchief in front of Xie Zhitang, then sat back opposite Xie Zhitang and asked in a deep voice, "Is it my liking that makes you feel uncomfortable?"

Xie Zhitang lowered his face and shook his head slightly.

Lu Jinsen asked again: "Did I make you sad?"

Xie Zhitang slowly shook his head again, only lowering his head to stare at the small tear on the coat surface on his lap.

Lu Jinsen waited patiently for a long time, hoping that Xie Zhitang could tell him why Xie Zhitang was crying.

But Xie Zhitang didn't give him any response, not even any response, so Lu Jinsen had no choice but to give up communicating with Xie Zhitang, took a sip of chrysanthemum tea to relieve his anger, and then asked Xie Zhitang: "Do you want to sleep? Or can I help you contact a psychiatrist?"

Xie Zhitang still didn't speak, as if he didn't hear Lu Jinsen's words, he kept his original posture motionless.

Lu Jinsen waited for another 2 minutes, but still did not get any response.

He simply walked up to Xie Zhitang with one hand under Xie Zhitang's chin and lifted Xie Zhitang's face up. With the other hand, he wiped the tears off Xie Zhitang's face with a handkerchief, and then wiped Xie Zhitang's neck.

The pure cotton veil has good water absorption and quickly wiped away Xie Zhitang's tears, but Xie Zhitang was still weeping slowly and wet his cheeks again.

Lu Jinsen sighed slightly in his heart, wondering where did so much water come from Xie Zhitang's body.In the past few days, Xie Zhitang has been crying one after another, even if most of his body is water, he is almost crying.

Lu Jinsen didn't try to talk to Xie Zhitang, he bent down and hugged Xie Zhitang directly.Xie Zhitang wore a coat, which looked quite large, but in fact it was extremely light, as if he was holding a cloud with empty volume.

But Yun cannot be picked up, so this is Xie Zhitang's unique touch.

Lu Jinsen carried Xie Zhitang into Xie Zhitang's room, and put Xie Zhitang on the bed.

Xie Zhitang was about to lie down on the bed limply, but Lu Jinsen quickly took him with one hand and took off his coat.He also saw many metal accessories on Xie Zhitang's gray shorts, worried that Xie Zhitang would be uncomfortable lying down, so he helped Xie Zhitang take off his outer pants, leaving the varicose vein pants inside and stuffing Xie Zhitang into the quilt.

Xie Zhitang lay down under the quilt, and Lu Jinsen carefully placed Xie Zhitang's pillow on the back of his head, and straightened Xie Zhitang's face.

After doing all this, Xie Zhitang blinked, and his eyes refocused on Lu Jinsen.

Lu Jinsen sat beside Xie Zhitang's bed, looking at Xie Zhitang calmly.

Xie Zhitang looked at Lu Jinsen, his thoughts were as if he was struggling to get ashore from the muddy swamp, and it took almost all his strength to say a few words slowly: "The medicine...is in my bag."

Xie Zhitang's bag, Lu Jinsen, was brought to his room early in the morning, and the servants thoughtfully placed it in a conspicuous place so that they would not find it.

Lu Jinsen raised his hand to wipe the corners of Xie Zhitang's eyes, and wiped away his tears, before getting up to get Xie Zhitang's medicine.

Lu Jinsen slowly disappeared from Xie Zhitang's sight, and Xie Zhitang sank back into the swamp like a doll that had lost its power.

I don't know how long it took before Xie Zhitang came back to his senses. Lu Jinsen was sitting beside his bed looking down at the terminal. The medicine and water were placed on the bedside table on Xie Zhitang's right side.

Xie Zhitang looked at Lu Jinsen's seriously lowered eyebrows, and slowly smelled his pheromone scent.

Because of his family relationship, Lu Jinsen doesn't like to release his pheromones, and few people know what Lu Jinsen's pheromones taste like.

But he made an exception again and again for Xie Zhitang.

As the pheromone poured into the lungs, it was unknown whether the pheromone finally started to react or it was Xie Zhitang's psychological effect.Xie Zhitang could gradually feel his heart beating faster, and as the blood circulated, his limbs slowly regained consciousness.

Xie Zhitang only took a few glances at Lu Jinsen, and Lu Jinsen immediately noticed that Xie Zhitang was awake, so he quickly turned off the terminal and stuffed it into his pocket and asked him, "Are you going to take your medicine now?"

Xie Zhitang blinked, took a deep breath, and tried to move his left hand, from fingertips to wrist, before he slowly sat up from the bed.

The stiff movements are a good sign that Xie Zhitang is slowly recovering.

Lu Jinsen poured the medicine from the medicine box into the palm of Xie Zhitang's hand, then watched as Xie Zhitang picked out a few pills and swallowed them with water first, then ate the remaining pills, and finally drank up the water.

Xie Zhitang had just cried, everything from his eyes to the tip of his nose was red.Lu Jinsen glanced at Xie Zhitang and asked him, "Do you still want to drink water?"

Xie Zhitang shook his head, slowly leaned against the bedside table and said, "I don't want to."

The two fell silent.

Xie Zhitang really wanted to talk, so he could say whatever he wanted.Explain to Lu Jinsen why you refused him to finish his sentence, why you obviously liked him but refused to go any further.

Xie Zhitang thought of a hundred and ten excuses with good reasons, but he couldn't utter them.

As if his tongue had been sealed, Xie Zhitang's thoughts were extremely chaotic, and a large amount of information poured into Xie Zhitang's mind, which he sorted out as useful or useless.

But he didn't want to lie to Lu Jinsen.

Xie Zhitang could make up a perfect excuse to explain to Lu Jinsen why he couldn't be with him.Xie Zhitang could use his past experience and his miserable illness to piece together a reason that could deceive Lu Jinsen.

But Xie Zhitang looked at Lu Jinsen's calm face, and suddenly felt that he couldn't do this.

Lu Jinsen's liking for him was sincere, and he shouldn't deceive Lu Jinsen.

But if you tell Lu Jinsen the truth.

Xie Zhitang really didn't know how to make Lu Jinsen understand that in his world, liking is one thing, but being together is another.

Xie Zhitang likes Lu Jinsen, really likes him very much.

Xie Zhitang did not put himself as the first priority as Lu Jinsen taught him.

Here at Xie Zhitang, Lu Jinsen is always the first priority.

But Xie Zhitang is also very aware of his own situation.

Xie Zhitang understands his illness very well. With his current state, falling in love is a very difficult thing.

Not only is it difficult for Xie Zhitang, but it is also difficult for lovers.

Xie Zhitang's condition determines that he needs others to take care of him. It is extremely dangerous if this kind of unilateral care appears in an intimate relationship.

Xie Zhitang didn't want to bring more trouble to Lu Jinsen, he didn't want to destroy his image in Lu Jinsen's heart.

Xie Zhitang wanted Lu Jinsen to like him, but he didn't want Lu Jinsen to like him.

He clearly knows that no matter who he is with, it is a drag.

Xie Zhitang rationally considered for Lu Jinsen, and with Lu Jinsen's conditions, he could find someone better than him.Being able to keep pace with Lu Jinsen, being able to support and love each other with Lu Jinsen, Lu Jinsen can realize his long-standing wish.

Instead of being with him, you need to spend your mind on him every day, worrying about whether he will get sick today or whether he will tear down the house tomorrow.

Xie Zhitang has never been so sad but unwilling as he is now, almost to the point of resentment.

Xie Zhitang has always accepted his illness with a good attitude and actively sought treatment.Even when Xie Zhitang fell ill, he couldn't help thinking, why was he the one who fell ill? He obviously did nothing wrong.

But once the mood calmed down and he was out of the state of the attack, Xie Zhitang would not think about it anymore.

However, Xie Zhitang's mind is full of this idea now.

Why is it him?

If Xie Zhitang hadn't been sick, he would have bravely pursued Lu Jinsen, agreed to all of Lu Jinsen's requests, and actively wanted to start a family with Lu Jinsen.

After Lu Jinsen took the initiative, he would not choose to escape.

Xie Zhitang really liked Lu Jinsen so much.But with his current state, how dare he promise Lu Jinsen?As a mental patient who can't control his behavior, how dare he agree to Lu Jinsen's confession?

Xie Zhitang has never had any sense of stigma, so for a long time, he could not understand patients who were sick but gave up treatment because they felt ashamed and worried about the strange eyes of the people around them.

But Xie Zhitang completely understood at this moment - he was almost overwhelmed by such a heavy sense of shame.

In front of Lu Jinsen, he felt ashamed because of his illness, and suffered a lot because of his illness.

Xie Zhitang even had an unreasonable fantasy that it would be great if he wasn't sick.

But this kind of fantasy greatly aggravated Xie Zhitang's anxiety and sadness, because such thoughts are unrealistic and meaningless.

It's just his behavior to escape and paralyze himself.

The more Xie Zhitang thought about it, the more sad he became, these negative emotions almost burst Xie Zhitang, Xie Zhitang clenched his hand under the quilt, his nails almost completely sank into the flesh, but Xie Zhitang didn't feel it.

Xie Zhitang's mind was colliding with two different ideas, the desire to survive that was aroused by wanting to be with Lu Jinsen, and the rational knowledge that the possibility of his recovery was almost zero.

It almost smashed Xie Zhitang to pieces.

Just when Xie Zhitang was about to be crushed from his body by the conflicts interacting with each other, Lu Jinsen spoke.

Lu Jinsen still had a very calm expression, and said to Xie Zhitang in a firm but calm tone: "Xie Zhitang, I only have one question for you, and you just need to answer it for me."

The author has something to say: Weibo: Li Chengcheng can come and play with me!

感谢在2020-08-0923:53:55~2020-08-1023:59:33期间为我投出霸王票或灌溉营养液的小天使哦~

Thanks to the little angel who threw the mine: 2 Ke Xingren;

Thanks to the little angels of irrigation nutrient solution: 20 bottles of cynosure; 3 bottles of murmur; 1 bottle of Ke Xingren and mzzki;

Thank you very much for your support, I will continue to work hard!