The beauty of rebirth

When Lin Rui came home that day, it was already dark.

"You haven't had dinner yet, have you?" Yao Qizheng curled up on the sofa watching TV, and raised his eyes to look at him.

Lin Rui nodded, threw the bag to the side of the sofa, and fell into the sofa with his face upturned.Yao Qi saw that he looked a little tired, so he asked him to take a bath first, while making instant noodles for him.

As soon as he stood up, someone grabbed his arm from behind. With a little force, he fell back on the sofa.

Lin Rui's body suddenly rolled up, wrapping himself tightly in his arms.Burying his face into the socket of his neck, he could feel his even and long breathing.

"Hey... what are you doing?" Yao Qi felt that Lin Rui had never hugged him so tightly, and felt a little out of breath at this moment.

"Don't talk." Lin Rui raised the corner of his mouth slightly, but there was no smile in his voice, "Just don't move."

Although I don't know why, but Yao Qi didn't move anymore, just slightly raised his head and stared at the ceiling in a daze, Ren Linrui hugged him so hard.

"Lin Rui?" I don't know how long it took, until he felt that the person holding him had hardly moved, and Yao Qi reached out to stroke Lin Rui's hair.

"En." Lin Rui responded in a low voice, which was to prove that he was not asleep yet.

"You...do you have something?" After hesitating for a while, he still asked out the doubts in his heart.

Lin Rui snorted lightly, and finally let him go and sat up.He reached out and stroked back the hair on his forehead indiscriminately, then leaned back on the sofa again.

Seeing that he didn't say a word, Yao Qi thought even more that something happened to him.Reaching out to hold his hand, he asked again, "What's wrong?"

Lin Rui grabbed his hand with his backhand and held it, but his five fingers were still very hard.Yao Qi felt a little pain, and was about to say something when Lin Rui let go of his hand.

"Yao Qi," Lin Rui kept staring blankly at the ceiling, heaved a long sigh of relief, and finally turned to face him, "The company arranged for me to go to Italy next week..."

Yao Qi was stunned for a moment, seeing Lin Rui's expression full of despair, it took a long time before he seemed to understand this sentence, and asked word by word: "How long have you been going?"

"At least... two years..." Lin Rui smiled unnaturally, and added, "Because the contracts with many brands have not been signed before, the company plans to send me to a counterpart in Milan. The brokerage company trains for a period of time, and then comes back to develop..."

"So...let's...let's break up..." The words that had been on the lips for too long finally came out, but Lin Rui didn't feel any sense of relief in his heart.Maybe at this moment, you should let go of your hand immediately and regard the hug just now as a kind of nostalgia.But Lin Rui obviously felt that the body of the person in his arms became stiffer, but he hugged him even tighter.

He deliberately didn't raise his body to look at Yao Qi's expression, because he was worried that if he saw it, he couldn't help but take back what he said just now.However, even so, Yao Qi's blurred face still appeared in his mind. There was nothing in his eyes, but he clearly expressed almost dull despair.This feeling was too clear, too sharp, and it made me feel a little heavy and out of breath.Although those two words were uttered by myself, they weighed heavily on my heart, as if they weighed a thousand catties.

At this moment, Yao Qi really felt the so-called "boom of the head, and it went blank" in the book. After hearing those two words, he immediately froze in place, and Ren Linrui hugged him tightly. .

After a long time, he gently broke free from that embrace, sat up and stared into his eyes, and asked in a daze, "Do you have to go?"

Lin Rui smiled wryly and nodded.

"You know I can wait." Yao Qi's eyes flickered suddenly, but he smiled and said, "It's only two years."

Seeing his obviously forced smile, Lin Rui felt a pain in his heart, wishing he could reach out and pull him into his arms.But he can't.Leaving Yao Qi, going to Italy, or giving up the opportunity for further studies, and choosing Yao Qi himself, this is no longer an A or B multiple choice question for me.He knew very well that he had no choice at all.

Choosing the latter means that this state of life will last for a long time.Self with nothing, Yao Qi who betrayed everyone, and an unblessed life maintained only by love... Can all these really be called "happiness"?

Perhaps Yao Qi, who was pampered and pampered since childhood, would not take it seriously, but Lin Rui clearly understood that the answer was undoubtedly no.The not-so-smooth experience from childhood made him understand the importance of material life prematurely.This cannot be said to be a vulgarity, but a truth that must be understood under the pressure of survival.

In fact, he had considered these issues a long time ago, but he never had the chance to tell Yao Qi.However, until now, he never expected that the way to completely solve all this would be to leave him.

He chose the former, but maybe that doesn't mean giving up.He thought about it two years later, when he would be successful, if Yao Qi was still alone, if he could still accept himself.Then, he will go to him and will never let him go.

However, all he can control is his own feelings towards Yao Qi.He knew that when he still loved him deeply, the decision to let go would undoubtedly engrave this feeling in his heart, perhaps even for a lifetime.

But what else?The world is unpredictable, there are too many things out of his control, so even if he really wants to, he can't easily promise anything to Yao Qi.For example, wait for me for 2 years, for example, I will definitely come back to you...

"What will happen in two years, no one knows. I can't promise anything to you." I can only sigh, shake my head weakly, look at Yao Qi again and say, "Don't wait foolishly, if you meet someone good People, just forget about me." If you don't meet, maybe, I will come back to you.

"Then you will do the same?" Yao Qi stared at him, "If you meet a good person, forget me?" He could see clearly that Lin Rui's eyes were full of affection, but why did he always speak decisively? words.He couldn't understand, but felt that the series of conversations just now seemed like a dream.If possible, he would rather not believe a word, as if these never happened.

"I think, I won't forget you so easily." After a long time, Lin Rui lowered his eyes and showed a tired smile, "But... time may change everything, maybe it may."

Seeing him, Yao Qi's heart suddenly sank, but finally he smiled wryly.

Seeing that Yao Qi was silent, Lin Rui stretched out his hand to grab his arm again, looked at him hesitantly and said, "After I leave, you... go back to your parents, okay?"

Yao Qi raised his eyes to look at him for a long time before slowly saying: "You are gone, where else can I go."

Lin Rui was a little surprised by Yao Qi's unusually calm reaction, but when he wanted to say something again, Yao Qi had gently opened his hand.

"It's only been a week, right?" He stood up and smiled faintly at him, "It seems that we have to cherish it."

Now it was Lin Rui's turn to be completely stunned.

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It is said to be a week, but in fact, if you calculate it carefully, it is only five days.During these five days, their lives were still going on at the original pace, the difference was that Lin Rui had nothing to do with work for the time being, so he took a break for a while and stayed at home to make preparations for going abroad.And Yao Qi didn't go out to find a job anymore, and just stayed at home with him.He behaved as if nothing happened before, and his behavior and speech were exactly the same as usual.

But it was precisely this that made Lin Rui feel even more uneasy and guilty.And he couldn't say anything, he just cooperated with him and spent the past few days in a dull but profound way.

It feels a bit like a criminal who is about to face the death penalty. He clearly knows the date of his death, but he still has to stand at the other end of the time and count day by day, feeling himself being swept by the torrent, and getting closer to the final date. , but after all nothing will change.

I can only sigh, it's all my choice after all.

Yao Qi's anomaly became more obvious at night, in other words, he was abnormally active.No matter in terms of the number of requests or the degree of intensity, it is very different from usual.Lin Rui knew in his heart that this could probably be regarded as a kind of last commemoration for them, so he cooperated with all his strength.But many nights, when he looked down at the exhausted sleeping person in his arms, he couldn't help but wonder how hard it would be to forget all the things he remembered at this moment.In other words, there is no need to forget at all, just keep engraving it in the memory all the time.

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The day Lin Rui left, the weather was mild and sunny as usual.He dragged his heavy suitcase and insisted not to send Yao Qisong, saying that he would go there with some other models from the company.

Yao Qi didn't insist either, but just stood there watching him drag the suitcase to the door, then suddenly turned around and looked at himself.

The two looked at each other like this for a while, and the things that were surging in their eyes fell into each other's eyes.Finally Yao Qi smiled, waved to Lin Rui and said, "Lin Rui, goodbye."

In fact, the parting in life is rarely the parting between life and death like in TV dramas. Instead, it is often just a sentence, a matter of turning around.We experience this kind of thing every day, but the objects that need to be separated are different.But no matter who the target is, someone has to say the word "goodbye" first, and once it is said, everything else seems to become easier.

However, as soon as Yao Qi finished speaking, Lin Rui suddenly put down the box in his hand, rushed over a few steps and hugged him tightly.Yao Qi's body was in his arms, appearing extremely thin.Lin Rui felt a pain in his heart, but quickly let go of him, turned his back and walked to the door.

"Take care of yourself. Don't wait for me." Then without looking back again, he turned and left.

Yao Qi stood where he was, looking at the closed door, and listening to the sound of the suitcase being dragged along the aisle fading away.He seemed to wake up suddenly, only then did he realize that Lin Rui had left him.

With just this "goodbye" and a turn around, they no longer belong to each other.

His body softened, and he fell to sit on the edge of the bed, and suddenly started laughing, but when he laughed, tears flowed down his face.The emotions that had been deliberately suppressed for so many days all exploded because of the touch of this moment.My heart felt as if thousands of arrows were piercing through my heart, and the pain was so painful that I almost went mad.

Yao Qi bent down, buried his face in the pillow, grasped the sheet tightly with both hands, and finally couldn't help crying.

However, all the memories of Huanai and the smell on the pillow immediately flooded into his mind, Yao Qi suddenly stood up and staggered back a few steps, as if he could escape those memories by doing so.In the end, he found that everything in the whole house had been deeply imprinted with memories that he wanted so badly to forget.

It's torture.Yao Qi turned around suddenly and rushed out the door.

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When I came out of the bar, I didn't know what time it was in the morning.It was raining, and the ground was already wet.

Yao Qi didn't know how much he drank, the only thing he knew was that he had no money on him, so he had to come out of the bar.

After walking a few steps, he stopped and looked up at the sky.The deep sky is darker because of the rain, so tight that there is no light in it.The rain fell pattering down, hitting my eyes, a little cold.Suddenly raised the corners of his mouth and smiled, feeling that this moment is like a necessary scene in all romantic dramas, a sad person will always encounter a rainy night with thunder and lightning, as if in this way he can find someone to cry with him.

It was raining heavily, hitting the ground with a continuous sound.Yao Qidi wandered aimlessly on the street almost instinctively. He didn't know if it was because of drunkenness, rain, or other reasons, but he felt that he could no longer see the scene clearly on the street.

I don't know how long I've been walking, and I don't know where I've been.In the dimness, I only felt a little light in the distance.He paused, and slowly turned his head to look.

The rain was so heavy that I found that I could barely open my eyes, so I stretched out my hand to block my eyes, and continued to look in that direction.

Finally, he saw clearly that it was a truck.

The only moment he saw clearly was the truck speeding towards him.

After a burst of rapid braking, only the dim sky remained in his vision.The rain still fell on the face and eyes, feeling a little cold.But in the body, there seems to be a warm liquid flowing out, as if life is passing by little by little, but I can't see it at this moment.

At that moment, Yao Qi realized that there was no sadness in his heart.He even wanted to raise the corners of his mouth and smile if he could.

But he can't.Many pictures flashed through my mind, but it was too late to respond to them one by one.Only at the very end of consciousness, Lin Rui's words lingered in his mind repeatedly: "I don't think I will forget you so easily." "However... time may change everything, maybe."

Lin Rui, from this point of view, I will remember you forever.

Because I have no time to forget you.

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