[Gintama] Don't go against your heart

Entering the midsummer stage, Xianxi returned to Changzhou once on a whim.

After getting out of the car with some luggage, Xian Xi calmly thanked the driver who brought her here, and walked towards the familiar field road.It is the setting sun at this moment, the sky is dim, the setting sun is like blood, the last sunset glow in the western sky has melted into the dark twilight, the sky is gradually darkening, the mountains in the distance show the outline of blue and black, the twilight is getting thicker, the earth It was chaotic and confused.

With slightly cool fingers, she gathered the thin clothes, and Xian Xi raised her eyes to look at the place where she was raised, with the breeze blowing on her face, slightly blowing her hair.The feeling of confusion in my heart, but also sad and happy, I don't know if it is called being close to the hometown.

There seems to be not much change around, there are a few more modern stores, the old man with a hunchback who bought candied haws on the street is no longer there, the snack shop that he often visits is also closed, the place to buy smoothies has not changed, Xian Xi walked over , found that the inside was no longer what it was in memory, it seemed to become more magnificent, the smiling boss who shook the ice was replaced by someone he didn't know, Xianxi was stunned for a while, then turned and walked away.

The people who passed by were all strangers, Xianxi walked through the trail, looking at this familiar but strange place.

Xian Xi used to like the sunset the most. She liked to take a walk under the sunset, but for some reason, now she only wanted the sun to set quickly, and the night fell faster. She somehow wanted to escape the warm yellow sunlight.The pace became faster, Xianxi walked briskly, walking around the field road with ease, as if she had never left here.

When she was about dozens of steps away from the familiar place, Xianxi suddenly stopped at the intersection in front of the private school.

Don't know where to go.

Xianxi is not a road idiot, at least she won't get lost in the place where she has stayed for almost ten years.But now, she seems really lost.

"Wig, short fir, Xianxi, she's in a daze again." Eleven or twelve-year-old Yinshi was holding a knife as long as his body and pinching his nostrils, looking at the dazed man standing under the tree with dead fish eyes. String evening.

"It's not the wig, it's Gui," Gui pouted and looked at Yinshi dissatisfied, then ran over to pat Xianxi, "Xianxi, we're going back to our private school."

Xian Xi came back to her senses, "Then let's go."

Gao Shan stood at the front and glanced at Xian Xi, "Go back to sleep if you are sleepy."

Xian Xi yawned lazily, "I don't know who dragged me out to play with you."

"Xianxi, you need to exercise more to live healthy." Gui walked behind Takasugi, flicking her ponytail.

"Yes, I understand." Xian Xi replied boredly, then looked at the man standing at the door of the private school, then smiled and waved to him, "Teacher Songyang."

The three of them looked together when they heard Xianxi's words, and then ran towards Songyang with surprised eyes. Gui hugged Songyang's left hand, and Takasugi tightly held Songyang's right hand. In Songyang's arms, Songyang smiled helplessly and led the three of them into the private school, turning his head and showing a gentle arc to Xianxi who was following them.

With them, you will never get lost.

Only then did Xianxi come back to her senses, and found that the sun had set and night was approaching. On the grass field of Xianxi summer night, a crescent moon had almost sunk, but the starlight was just right, and a few faint green streaks flashed by her side from time to time.Xian Xi looked at the light that flew out from the grass and swayed gently with the wind, the blurred halo suddenly lifted into the sky and drifted away in a whirl.

"... Fireflies."

The fluorescent lights that are brighter than the stars seem to reflect the memories of previous years.

The wind passed by in bursts, blowing Xianxi's black hair.

She seemed to see the four young people in the grass seeing the fireflies scattered.Those tiny lights that tremble slightly like breathing will not become ashes, but sink and drift away gradually, countless lights lit up in the dark night.

"...Time flies so fast, Mr. Firefly is gone."

Xian Xi hesitated for a while before walking towards the private school.

Under the reflection of the night, everything seems to have become silent, and the door of the private school, which is somewhat dim under the moonlight, tells the old things.

As if everything came back to memory, Xianxi walked up the stone steps, and faintly smelled the dusty smell of wood, the grass around the private school seemed to grow stronger and stronger, but the wind blowing at night made Xianxi The rustling of the cherry blossom trees was no longer heard.

Xianxi looked at the wooden door of the private school, where she and Nisan grew up little by little ignorantly, never thought that one day, standing here, her heart would be desolate.

Looking at the bluestone steps in front of the private school, which have been polished smooth by the rain and scorching sun, Xianxi squatted down, her slender nails slightly touching the surface of the steps, and the scene of her childhood jumping up and down suddenly appeared in front of her eyes.

Xian Xi buried her head in her knees, her hair almost fell to the ground.

She seemed to be back to that night again, a terrible night.

She squatted here, and she seemed to be able to see the scene when Songyang was taken away by the heavenly beings.She was powerless to stop, and finally had to kneel on the ground helplessly and sob.

I want to go home.

This is what she said to Yinshi, she wanted to go back.

Can I go back?I do not know.

When the cherry blossoms fall in spring, Xianxi likes to sit under the tree, let the cherry blossoms fall on her head, smell the faint fragrance of cherry blossoms, and fall asleep after smelling it.

She still remembers the scene when Mr. Shoyo played the shamisen, she still remembered the scene of laughing under the cherry tree, and she still remembered the first class when he whispered to the little boy below, "I don't know if I can always be with you , so at the beginning, I will give this sentence to everyone."

You must remember.

The last piece of music sounded, and the ending sounded curlingly, Xianxi could not remember the melody at that time.She only remembered that Songyang put down the piano and stared at her students, but in the end she just waved her hand, speechless.

Xianxi still remembers what Teacher Songyang said to her, and the feeling of those warm hands stroking the top of her head. At that time, she was completely unaware of the danger coming, and the vines spreading under the darkness came quietly, and she fell down. For a moment, it was as quiet as a white water chestnut tightly strangling a person's throat.

She loathed and hated the shogunate, and she fought hard on the execution ground but to no avail.The pain of sashimi is not as good as the thorns in the heart. The heart that has already been pierced with thousands of holes is soaked in blood.

I really want to die selfishly.

Whenever she thinks like this, the scenes of the four of them playing and playing before appear in front of her eyes. At that time, they are getting farther and farther away from her... She must not back down. Standing up, holding the knife in trembling hands, he counterattacked waves of enemies, until finally he was powerless to resist.

Patting her knees and standing up, Xian Xi slowly walked into the private school. After that night, it was already in ruins. A smile.

There was a tombstone where the cherry blossom tree was originally planted in the private school, with the name of Yoshida Shoyo engraved on it. After Shoyo died, he left his head, and the four hurriedly buried him before rushing back to the battlefield.After that, the three of them were unwilling to come back, and Xian Xi never came back.

Xianxi sat in front of Songyang's tombstone, curled up and hugged her knees, just like the two chatted when Songyang was alive.

Xian Xi said softly: "Mr. Songyang, it's been so long since I came to see you, you won't blame me, in fact, I never wanted to come..."

"I may be too cowardly to accept it." It seemed to be muttering to himself: "Nissan is also, Gintoki is also, and Takasugi is also, they are all in pain... Takasugi... has always refused to let the shogunate go, and has done a lot Extreme things, both Nissan and Yinshi said they would cut him off..."

"Teacher, do you think it's good? I don't think it's good either... But Takasugi has teamed up with Tianren, and he has changed a lot. The teacher knows that Takasugi likes you so much, more than anyone else, and he is still a second-school child. , he may be in more pain than us...Yinshi is also..."

There was silence all around, and Xianxi's eyes became hazy like fog.

"We didn't dare to come to see you. You still played the shamisen for us at that time. Remember, Gintoki and I didn't learn the shamisen very well before, and Gintoki's guy still hasn't learned the shamisen very well. Learn, you are so stupid...Teacher...Actually, I want to hear you play the shamisen again, okay..."

She reached out to touch it, but all she felt was the coolness of her fingertips, without the warmth.

After a brief silence, Xian Xi opened his mouth and spoke again.

"By the way, Yinshi's guy is doing well in Edo now. He opened a master house, and there are two little devils with him, but he doesn't work every day and owes rent. He's just a piece of trash."

"There are two little devils, one is Shinpachi and the other is Kagura, one is an ordinary person, the other is the night rabbit, the other is the three-dimensional OTAKU, and the other is the strongest fighting race. Although their backgrounds are very different, they all like Yin. Ah Yin and Wanshiwu will go through fire and water without hesitation..."

"And Nissan, he is now the leader of the barbarians. He still has ideals and wants to change the decadent Edo. Although he is wanted, he is doing well. He also has a very reliable pet named Elizabeth..."

"The people in Kabukicho Street are very kind to me. I haven't been wronged. Although I got a few jobs, I messed up every time. But every day is very happy... I also like it there... um ..."

Xianxi talked a lot with Songyang again, from the battle against the barbarians to everything about the Wanshiya Kabukicho, as well as the affairs of the Yagyu family, Xianxi just talked tirelessly like this, hardly realizing that her feet were numb.

"Teacher Songyang, do you still remember that you told me at that time, you have to live, and see if you are happy if you live, and then tell you if you are unhappy, I am very happy now, but... What about you, teacher? ?”

Her hand touched the stele, and then she retracted her hand. Tears unconsciously slid down her cheeks and fell onto the scorched ground.

"……I'm sorry……"

Xian Xi covered her mouth to stop sobbing, but to no avail.She had nowhere and no way to suppress the scorching tears in her eyes, so she let it slip.

The surrounding atmosphere became quiet again, she lowered her head, watching the tears dripping on the ground blackened by the fire, her hair became dizzy.

She finally stood up, walked out of the private school regardless of her numb legs, and came to the lawn near the sea. She lay down exhausted, her back resting on the prickly lawn, and the fresh sea breeze came in gusts. Looking up at the star-studded sky, it was still dark blue, not bright yet.

She didn't dare to close her eyes, for fear that the scene in front of her was a dream. She kept her original movements, and the sadness in her jet-black eyes seemed to turn into a beautiful crystallization.

Many times I wake up from a dream.When you are in a bad mood, when you are lonely, when you are sad, or when you are afraid of the future, you will have all kinds of scary nightmares.

But never struggling to sit up like that, yelling.Instead, after struggling with all his strength, he quietly opened his eyes from the dream, lay peacefully on the bed, looked at the room in the dim light, and his whole body was as weak as a collapse.

At such a moment, my heart is a sense of luck for the rest of my life.

But what followed was a loneliness that was so suppressed that I wanted to cry.

……

The four of them never thought that one day Mr. Shoyo would leave them and the melody of the shamisen would end. None of them thought that it would be the end of an era.

Until the presupposition of Shinsuke Takasugi's name became "dangerous and radical anti-barbarian terrorist" and he parked his boat at the port of Edo every now and then. I often think of the sea in Hagi Castle.

When standing on the side of the ship, the seagulls fluttered and flew incomparably freely in sight, and the moon of the fifteenth night seemed to be within reach.Looking up, he saw the sky hanging down and the stars scattered in the light of the water, and they crossed the sea to a future that he didn't know.

But how firm our footsteps were at that time, because we were both young, teachers and friends walking together.

Kabukicho was brightly lit at night, and an oolong drama was being played in the Wanshiwu House, Kagura smiled and leaned back, Gintoki sat on the swivel chair in front of the desk and looked at the moon through the window in a daze.

The crimson eyes reflected the bright moon, as if trying to see something through it.And the stars all over the sky, like a girl's bright smile.

At the same time, in the dark alley, the red lights on the Shinsengumi police car outside the street flashed.

"Quick search! Gui must not have escaped far!"

The alley was silent, and one white and one black figure quietly appeared.The long-haired man picked up his bamboo hat and looked up at the bright moon that had been cut into thin strips in the alley.Elizabeth next to her raised her sign and questioned.

Gui stared at the bright moon that seemed to be within reach for a while, and lowered some bamboo hats to cover his eyes, "It's nothing, let's go, Elizabeth." Leaving a slender shadow under the moonlight.

……

The tide in the distance fluctuated slowly and persistently, and the rising tide slowly washed away all traces once, twice, and three times.

The overlapping footprints, shells, wind, and cries are drowned in the sound of the huge tide.

The author has something to say:

Fireflies would like to forget the summer night

If you want to bid farewell to this time

The firelight traces the face and burns up time

Don't leave me alone, alone, withered in a dream

Years later, I dreamed of that day again

The picture is far away, trance and drizzle

If the next life is too far away to send the promise

It's better to learn to let go of many obsessions

Condolences to the years with these fragments

In the old days, when the water was beautiful and the sky was far away, who would gather up the joys and sorrows

The familiar place is already desolate and desolate.

~~~

Hey, the above literature and art are enough. →→

When I came back, I suddenly saw the comments, Mina was struggling with the male lead... I love Yinsang and I love the governor how to break it! !The idea of ​​the double ending is not good. QAQ Let’s vote in the end. If Mina chooses Takasugi, she will say Takasugi. If she likes Yinsang, she will say Yinsang~~

In fact, writing GL is also good... [Fuck off! ]