Like Love But Not

I don't know if that is the so-called "selfless love", I just know that I can never have it.I can't let go. Suicide sounds good to me because of Luo Yuchen's future happiness, but it sounds bad because I really can't let go, and I can't bind Luo Yuchen, so I have to use this method to get rid of it.

Xia Mingxiu obviously doesn't understand Luo Yuchen as well as I do, or like me, although he understands, he is so stupid that he would rather knock out his front teeth and swallow blood, wipe away his tears before Luo Yuchen comes out, and pretend that nothing happened .

Holding the peace amulet, he transformed from "Sad Lover Xia Mingxiu" to "Troublesome Friend Xia Mingxiu", laughing wickedly at Luo Yuchen who came out of the bathroom with an embarrassed expression on his face.

He asked him: "The question I asked you before I moved in, you finally figured it out now."

Figured out what?I don't know what Xia Mingxiu's so-called problem is, but Luo Yuchen was obviously a little bit annoyed, but he pretended to be angry. Then he sat next to Xia Mingxiu, stared at him for a while, then suddenly sighed and smiled in relief.

Then he asked curiously, "How did you know then?"

"Please, anyone with a discerning eye can see it, okay?" Xia Mingxiu said "Cut" nonchalantly, and said with a rather smug smile, "You fell in love with him early on, and you can't hold back your face, and you still insist on it." Willing to admit it, bullying him in different ways, making you happy when he is sad, what virtue!"

Is this "he" referring to me?

"... Xiao Heng is the only one in the world who is so stubborn," Xia Mingxiu continued, shaking his head and sighing loudly: "Being abused by you like that is still utterly devoted to you. You two are the best, a perfect match .”

If Xiao Heng said it, it would be me.

But if it was me, why Luo Yuchen not only did not refute, but was a little ashamed and smiled in agreement.

Xia Mingxiu said with a smile that Luo Yuchen liked me, and Luo Yuchen agreed with a smile.

I looked at them and I thought I must be dreaming, nothing is real, I was having a dream so ridiculously stupid that I almost woke up laughing.

what is this?Why did Luo Yuchen like me so easily?

I have prayed countless times for my dream to come true, but does it have to be in this way?

I don't understand, three months ago he ruthlessly forced me to move out and flirted with Xia Mingxiu in front of me; two months ago he didn't allow Xia Mingxiu to mention me in front of him, and he was so disgusted that he destroyed me All the photos left behind are all burned; now, suddenly, say that is like?

What is like?What is that like?Is the result of liking me mercilessly driving me to a dead end?

Luo Yuchen can hate me, loathe me, despise me, and disdain me. After all, although I didn't commit any heinous crimes, I forced his feelings, so I'm sorry for him first.But he can't like me, if he has one ten thousandth of my feeling for me, he will be the heinous person.

Ten years, God knows how hard it is for me to live by his side.God knows how much grievance and pain I endured. I was tortured both physically and mentally by him every day, and I humbly begged for a little bit of pity and attention at his feet every day.

For ten years, I lived silently beside him, and died in silence a little bit. In the last period of time, I woke up almost nervously every morning, and the first thing I thought of was death.

Now that I think about it, it's depression, right? I was pushed to that point.

I was haunted by something called Luo Yuchen.He was like a swamp, dark and desperate, drowning me little by little.

I desperately begged for help and begged for mercy, but he couldn't see or hear me.He knew nothing of all the bitterness and despair I had endured.

After such unfeeling, he has no right to say that he loves me.

He can't just say he loves me now.

There was no such thing as a shrine at home, so Xia Mingxiu wrapped the amulets in a good silk scarf and put them in the cabinet.

It wasn't until today, until this moment, that I finally could no longer say that he was hypocritical, and I finally got to know Xia Mingxiu truly.

He obviously cried secretly, but still smiled at the heartless Luo Yuchen, helping him like a good friend, without saying a word for himself.

It seems that everything is reversed, I became him ten years ago, and he became me ten years ago.The cycle of karma continues unabated. Ten years ago, I was with Luo Yuchen to feel sorry for him, but now he is with Luo Yuchen to worry about me.

And no matter whether the worry is for Luo Yuchen's face or from the heart, I am too aware that I am so bitter in my heart that I can't even complain.

Looking back, when I was by Luo Yuchen's side, he only had Xia Mingxiu in his eyes; but now that Xia Mingxiu is by his side, he is thinking of me.What the hell are Xia Mingxiu and I doing?His red and white roses?

Now the mosquito blood on the wall has turned into a cinnabar mole on the heart, and the bright moonlight in front of the bed has turned into rice sticky on the clothes?

It's just nothing to do.

If Luo Yuchen did this, everyone around him would only be hurt by him.I'm no longer here, Xia Mingxiu is so good, he should cherish it.

Xia Mingxiu has always been considerate of others, he will not be like Luo Yuchen who can really say that if he is in a bad mood, he will not let others take a photo with his smiling face all day long.For the sake of the people around him, Xia Mingxiu can be a competent actor even in life. No matter how painful or sad, if he has to laugh when he wants to cry, he can still smile brightly.

Although he finally took the same wrong path as me.Pretending to be strong in front of Luo Yuchen, and then secretly licking his wounds, I still feel that because he is indeed stronger than me, he should be able to finally get everything he deserves.

I hope this person who is more perfect than me and stronger than me can replace me and give Luo Yuchen happiness.

The Spring Festival holiday is also impossible for celebrities. From the first day to the fifth day of the new year, Luo Yuchen and Xia Mingxiu are busy participating in various entertainment programs, playing games in front of the camera, entertaining the audience and entertaining themselves .

Before Luo Yuchen's new album was released, the newly created song had already been broadcast on TV and radio as an advance track. Sometimes when walking through the street, the whole street was filled with that kind of warmth and sadness, especially When night falls, it hurts to hear it.

Luo Yuchen was pulled to the recording studio of the radio station to tell the story behind this new album and this song.

"Did you encounter any difficulties during the creation of this album?" The female anchor's soft voice passed through the microphone, connected to an invisible line, and transmitted to all the people who were paying attention to him.

"No." Luo Yuchen said with a slight smile: "Thanks to the hard work of all the staff, the completion of the album went smoothly."

"Now the audience friends are very curious to know the new song "Long Memories" that you temporarily added. What is the opportunity to create it?"

Luo Yuchen was a little embarrassed, and nervously grabbed his sleeve from the inside, with an expression on his face as if he had made up his mind, he said resolutely: "That song is a memory of a good friend and I when we were young."

Does it have to be so difficult to tell the memories of a good friend when you were young?

"Memories," the hostess said with a smile, "It's not just as simple as good friends. No matter how you listen to that song, it's about love. No, maybe it's more accurate to say, it's about first love."

First love?

Yes, no wonder that song is so beautiful and heartbreaking. The sourness and astringency in the depths of the soul dissolved in it turned out to be the taste of first love, which I should have thought of earlier.

People say that first love is fruitless, so it is the most beautiful and can be remembered forever.

My first love is Luo Yuchen.

"Love and friendship are sometimes easy to confuse..." Luo Yuchen sighed softly, his eyes had drifted far away.

"how could be?"

"It's not just about love and friendship." Luo Yuchen turned around and said with a sad smile, "Sometimes love is also confused with many other emotions. When you find out, maybe it has... already caused harm."

Only the female anchor could see Luo Yuchen's sadness at this moment, and she couldn't help being slightly shocked.

"That is to say, you should write this song for the person you like." She was almost sure, and seduced gently.

"Yes." Luo Yuchen admitted with lowered eyes.

I was slightly surprised. The scene depicted in this song is the campus and the neighborhood, so it should be written for childhood sweethearts.Luo Yuchen and I can be regarded as childhood sweethearts, but we are not Luo Yuchen's first love.

Luo Yuchen's first love was Xia Mingxiu.

"Then what was he like?"

Radio female anchors are not like gossip hosts who keep digging news. They know how to slowly continue the kind of tranquility and beauty that only those who can listen to the radio will understand with closed eyes.