what is the relationship between us

It was still the same as before Meng Xinci left, the door was a small single bed, the sheets and pillowcases were washed clean by Wan Junxiu.

Wan Junxiu reached out and gently stroked the quilt near the bed, imagining Meng Xinci lying on it.

In fact, Meng Xinci sleeps very restlessly. He used to kick the quilt easily when he slept with Wan Junxiu.

When he just lay down, he would stick to Wan Junxiu and not move, and when he fell asleep, he would always push the quilt away. Wan Junxiu would wake up several times to help the child pull the quilt over and cover him.

Later, when Meng Xinci was sleeping alone in a small room, Wan Junxiu had to struggle to get up several times at night to see if he had properly covered himself with the quilt.

I remember one time Wan Junxiu didn't dare to turn on the light in order to get up to cover Meng Xinci without disturbing him, and his calf hit the TV cabinet.

When Meng Xinci helped him dress the next day, he still wondered why his calf was bruised.

Knowing the reason later, Meng Xinci was so guilty that he took a basin of hot water to help Wan Jun repair the hot compress for a long time at night.The hot water was very hot, and the child's hands were burned red.Wan Junxiu said it's okay, it won't hurt, but he still didn't let go, and still covered Wan Junxiu's slender feet with a hot towel, blowing air while kneading.

I don't know if he is alone in Shanghai now, if he sleeps a little more peacefully.

Going further inside the wheelchair is a big wardrobe and a desk.

There is a glass cabinet standing on the desk. The textbooks that were originally full are now gone and empty.Wan Junxiu had no choice but to stand up and wipe the dust off the bookcase. Now just by thinking about it, he knew that there was already a thick layer of dust on it.

Just these two pieces of furniture have already filled this small room to the brim, and if you put anything more, Wan Junxiu's wheelchair will not be able to get in.

The wardrobe was made by a carpenter many years ago when Wan Junxiu's father got married, and it still looks very solid now.When he was playing this set of furniture, his father didn't expect that his son would be trapped in a wheelchair one day and his hands would not be very flexible.The handle that he would choose was built-in, and now Wan Junxiu couldn't open it at all.

There should be no clothes in it. The child doesn’t have much clothes at all, and they only have two sets of clothes a year. With the clothes and school uniforms that can still be worn last year, they can make do with this year.

Wan Junxiu thought of a lot of ways to separate the curled fingers, and then used his chin and both hands to open a cabinet door.

Sure enough, there was nothing left in it, only a shoe box was left alone.Wan Junxiu bent down to open the shoe box, and found two pairs of identical shoes.

The small pair is very old, and the soles are already glued. Wan Junxiu still remembers that it seems that Meng Xinci bought it for him when he was participating in a long-distance running competition in junior high school.Meng Xinci likes this pair of shoes very much. He never wears them on rainy days. Every time they are dirty, he will wash them carefully, and they will carefully wrap them in toilet paper to dry.

The big ones were brand new, and the hang tags on the shoelaces were not even removed. Wan Junxiu didn't know when Meng Xinci bought them.

Picking up the shoes and seeing the size tens of thousands, Junxiu realized that these shoes were bought for him by Meng Xinci.

He remembered that Meng Xinci high school would say that he would save money to buy him a pair of shoes, but Wan Junxiu didn't want it at that time, so he shirked it several times.At first, Meng Xinci still pouted to disagree, saying that he must buy it.The number of times of evasion was too high, and Meng Xinci never mentioned it again.

Wan Junxiu thought he had forgotten, but he bought it anyway.

It's just that so many things happened later, Meng Xinci could only suppress these feelings and flattery, and then hide it in a place where Wan Junxiu can't see it.

Wan Junxiu slowly closed the cabinet door, and touched the certificate of award pasted on the cabinet with his limp palm.Each certificate was obtained by Meng Xinci's hard work. Every time he got a certificate, Meng Xinci always held his hand to ask for a small reward.

Meng Xinci is not greedy, saying that the reward is nothing more than a bottle of Coke or a grilled sausage.Just such a small amount of reward, he won't take it all by himself, and even half of it will be given to Wan Junxiu, and the two of them will eat together.

Meng Xinci really likes to eat grilled sausages, the kind of Taiwanese barbecue sausages on the street, every time he eats it, his mouth will be greasy. Wan Junxiu always raises his hand to help him wipe the grease off the corner of his mouth.

Meng Xinci is also very bad sometimes, because Wan Junxiu can't hold the stick, he always puts the sausage in front of Wan Junxiu's mouth, and quickly removes it when Wan Junxiu is about to bite it down.

He really liked teasing Wan Junxiu so childishly, and when Wan Junxiu lost his face, he quickly fed Wan Junxiu a big bite.

The poster of JJ Lin on the closet door was still stuck, but it was yellowed and faded.

Meng Xinci liked Lin Junjie very much when he was in the second year of junior high school, and he saved a long time to buy a genuine album.Wan Junxiu still remembered that during that time, Meng Xinci was suddenly willing to have the boiled eggs and milk that Wan Junxiu made for him for breakfast, and Wan Junxiu no longer had to chase after him and stuff them into his pocket.

Wan Junxiu also asked him, is there not enough money?Meng Xinci blushed and shook his head, saying no, he just wanted eggs and milk all of a sudden.

Wan Junxiu didn't poke him. Every night when Meng Xinci helped him close the stall, he would pass by a video store. The child always had to stare at the big poster on the window.

During that time, Wan Junxiu always took advantage of Meng Xinci's inattention to stuff a little more money into the pocket of his school uniform, not too much, most of it was about five yuan, enough for the children to eat breakfast.

Later, the child finally saved enough money, took the album home with a smile, and happily told Wan Junxiu that he bought it after saving living expenses for a long time.

That day he carefully pasted the poster on the closet door so that he could see it when he got up.Meng Xinci looked at the poster with satisfaction and was very happy. He turned his head and asked Wan Junxiu if he wanted to listen to it with him. There were no smart phones in those days, and the only way to listen to songs was to use a computer to download songs to MP3, or It is to buy a CD like Meng Xinci and put it in a DVD player to listen to.

Wan Junxiu still remembers that Meng Xinci liked to listen to a song called "Laughing Eyes" at that time. After listening to it for a long time, he even hummed when doing things and doing homework.

Wan Junxiu suddenly wanted to listen to it, but he couldn't find it on the desk with his head hooked.

Strange, it was placed here before.Is it taken away?It should be taken away, it's normal for him to like to take it away so much.

Wan Junxiu stretched out his hand slowly, and rubbed the poster on the closet with the back of his hand.After looking at it this way, I realized that it had been many years. The posters were slightly yellowed, and the corners of the posters were also curled.

Wan Junxiu felt that the days when they were together passed quickly every day, it was nothing more than three meals a day, all year round.But since Meng Xin resigned, time has slowed down, so slow that Wan Junxiu felt as if it had stopped.

There is no expectation, no expectation that Meng Xinci will talk to him about what happened in school after he comes back from school.

Without joy, there will never be a young boy happily holding his hand and saying how well he did in the exam this time, and then tricking him into an ice cream with a grimace.

No disappointment, that little boy would never get him into trouble again and make him sleepless at night.

There is only a little bit left, which is useless worry and miss.

Habit is a hard thing to get rid of. Even if you feel too uncomfortable sometimes, you will still unconsciously whisper when you wake up in the middle of the night: "Xinci, can you pour me a glass of water?"

Then there was only silence in the room that responded to him.

Whenever this time, Wan Junxiu felt that he was no longer living in the present, and he and his heart stopped before Meng Xinci left.

Wan Junxiu felt that he had no way to stay in this room any longer, the longer he stayed, the more sad he felt.

It was like this the last time I entered this room, and when I finally went out, my hands were so trembling that I couldn't hold the joystick firmly.

Hide if you can, get out early.

Wan Junxiu didn't dare to look too much, didn't dare to think too much, Meng Xinci said that there were many secrets that Wan Junxiu didn't know, but Meng Xinci didn't know either, and Wan Junxiu also had many things on his mind that Meng Xinci didn't know about. .

Meng Xinci didn't know how distressed Wan Junxiu was when he saw him fall on the side of the road while delivering food that day.

He was crying all the way to his aunt's house. Wan Junxiu didn't shed too many tears even after he knew he was paralyzed. At that time, he felt that being alive was a good thing, and he could do something for Meng Tian.But that day, for the first time, he hated his paralysis so much, hated his broken body.

He even regretted taking Meng Xinci home for the first time in so many years. If he knew that one day Meng Xinci would suffer so much because of himself, he would rather not make up his mind to bring Meng Xinci home.

Meng Xinci didn't know yet, when Meng Xinci held Wan Junxiu in his arms that day in the rehabilitation room.Wan Junxiu also tried to raise his arms to embrace Meng Xinci.

He could clearly feel the warm body temperature from Meng Xinci on the inner side of his two arms, which he didn't feel much.

Many times, Meng Xinci hugged him horizontally, or carried him directly on his back. Only that time, they hugged him "standing".

"I'm not tired, as long as you want, I can last a long time." Wan Junxiu will always remember this sentence, even when he was doing this minor operation in the hospital recently, Wan Junxiu relied on this sentence alone Cope with a lot of things.

Wan Junxiu had no way to explain this to Meng Xinci. Most of the time, he was not as strong as Meng Xinci imagined. On the contrary, Wan Junxiu was able to survive because of Meng Xinci's presence.

Maybe young people are always better at expressing themselves. Many times Wan Junxiu felt that he was thinking in his heart, but Meng Xinci said it first.

Just like tonight, Meng Xinci said that he always felt that the two of them would not end like this.Wan Junxiu didn't admit it at the time, and insisted that Meng Xinci was already thousands of miles away, and they no longer had any relationship.

But what about reality?Sheets are changed every week and slippers are prepared according to the season.I just felt in my heart that Meng Xinci would definitely come back, maybe one evening when it was time for dinner, Meng Xinci would suddenly appear.

As before, while changing shoes, he said, "Is the meal ready? I'm starving to death."

Wan Junxiu exited the room, looking at the group photo of the two on the TV cabinet, he stretched out his hand to carefully hold the photo frame, and then moved closer to his heart.

The photo frame is cold, and the people inside are small.Meng Xinci was not as tall as Wan Jun even standing up at that meeting, because of nervousness, his shoulders were still huddled together awkwardly.

I didn't expect to be so tall now, if I lay on his back, I could still feel his broad shoulders.

——Xin Ci, will we really have a future?

—Of course we will.

Meng Xinci wrote this sentence on Weibo, and then attached a picture, which is the conversation time between the two of them today.No more, no less, exactly 52 minutes.

When he first entered the dormitory, he still used to write some things in the draft notebook, sometimes it was the idea of ​​doing the questions, and more of it was what he wanted to say to Wan Junxiu when he was tired and bored.

But the boys in the dormitory didn't understand each other's temper at that time, and the roommates took it for granted that Meng Xinci was an introverted and timid boy.Once I found him writing these things, laughed and snatched the notebook and read it in the dormitory.

There were five people on the other side, and they were laughing and listening to the fun and eating melons, and they were pressing Meng Xinci heavily to prevent him from taking back the notebook.After a few times, Meng Xinci knew that the more he struggled, the more he wanted to get back the notebook, and they became more energetic.

He stopped and just looked at them coldly.The boy who was reading something written by Meng Xinci in the back with a notebook noticed something was wrong and stopped hemmingly.Meng Xinci blinked twice, but still said nothing, the laughter in the dormitory stopped abruptly, and even the atmosphere became awkward.

Looking at Meng Xinci's expression, he suddenly felt that he had caused trouble. The notebook was like a hot hand, and he immediately returned it to Meng Xinci.

After receiving it, Meng Xinci tore up the notebook in front of them, silently threw the scraps of paper into the trash can, then sat back in his seat and never looked at them again.

One of the bolder boys stepped forward to apologize to Meng Xinci, saying that it was just a joke, and let Meng Xinci rest assured.

Meng Xinci didn't even raise his eyelids, he quietly took out his earphones and put them in his ears and continued to do his own thing.

There was no anger, no anger, but his expression was so scary when he tore off the draft paper, which made the other roommates feel that after this second, they would be dead in the eyes of Meng Xinci.

This is indeed the case. Meng Xinci has never spoken in the dormitory since that time. Even when everyone is happily chatting, Meng Xinci acts as if no one is there, and will not interrupt or interrupt.Occasionally, the roommates in the dormitory tried to talk to Meng Xinci, but Meng Xinci acted as if he hadn't heard them.

I don't know whether to treat the remaining five of them as dead, or to treat myself as dead.

Ning Wang is the mentor of their dormitory. After learning about this, he once persuaded Meng Xinci to be more social.But Meng Xinci just replied coldly that he was very busy and tired due to part-time job, and he just wanted to rest when he returned to the dormitory, and he didn't have so much free time to make friends.

With one sentence, Ning Wang was completely pushed away, leaving Ning Wang speechless, and could only let him continue.

Ning Wang didn't know that Meng Xinci, who always had a punctual schedule that night, sat in his seat all night, and didn't climb up to rest after the lights were turned off.

Just sitting like a piece of dead wood, my mind is full of the days with Wan Junxiu, like a movie scene, flipping through each piece, and then piece it together bit by bit, and finally follow the papers that he tore up Crumbs together, can never fight back.

Meng Xinci felt that when he was sad, the wind would swirl in his chest, and it would never get better.

He felt that he couldn't get better.

From then on, Meng Xinci never wrote down his miss for Wan Junxiu, and moved all the things he wanted to say to Weibo.

A microblog with zero attention and zero fans named your child.

After having this Weibo, Meng Xinci will regularly clean up those zombie fans and inexplicable attention. For a long time, it has maintained a state of no one's attention and no one's knowledge.

In this way, he can write whatever he wants to say to Wan Junxiu as he likes.

Sometimes, like a diary, I write long, long words to record what happened to me.When I wrote these words, it seemed that I was not posting on Weibo, but confiding to Wan Junxiu.

Confid that I can hardly survive in the city of Shanghai, confided that I almost slept on a park bench, confided that I found a good job, confided that I seem to have gradually adapted.

Sometimes it is a few words that can't be figured out, maybe he picked up his mobile phone and wrote them by hand when he woke up in the middle of the night. He didn't even remember those words when he read them later, what happened when he wrote them.The only thing that can be felt is that he never cuts, but grows stronger and stronger.

Meng Xinci told Xu Kaici on WeChat that he had moved here, and asked Xu Kaici if he would come to live for two days, so that he could decide whether he would sleep on the sofa or clean Xu Kaici's sheets and live in the room.

Confirming again and again that Xu Kaici was going to travel during the holiday, Meng Xinci breathed a sigh of relief, and he could concentrate on script collection alone.

Meng Xinci made a plan for himself when he couldn't sleep, and decided to go to the supermarket tomorrow to buy the nearest food. In the next few days, except for going to the theater during the day, he can concentrate on preparing for it when he comes back .

Originally, according to his position, he should have discussed it with Xu Kaici's father first, but Meng Xinci felt that he wanted to try it himself first.He already had a story line in mind, and even the character setting was thought out.Now he doesn't want to listen to any more professional opinions, but just wants to write out what he wants to express first.

As for whether it can be selected, he doesn't care whether the writing style and setting are immature.

He wanted to try first, and write this story according to his own ideas, his own experience, and his original intention.

With what he wants to do, Meng Xinci doesn’t seem to be tired at all. During the day, he serves tea and water in the theater to change the script, and when he returns to the apartment at night, he simply takes a shower and eats something before typing on the computer.

When he looked up, it was already late at night, but he felt that it hadn't been too long at all, and he didn't feel sleepy at all.

He stood up and stretched, turned his sore neck and walked slowly to the window to look outside.

The city of Shanghai seems to be the same as Meng Xinci. It doesn’t need to rest at all. It is lively even in the middle of the night. There are bright lights all night and young people who carnival all night.

Not far away is a commercial area, and there are beautiful light shows on the LED light walls of this building, showing the charm of the city.

"Wan Junxiu, haven't you seen such a beautiful light show?" Meng Xinci thought of the small city far in the southwest, where there were no people on the street at around two o'clock at night.The man in Yikang New Village had to go to bed before eleven o'clock, otherwise his back would hurt so much the next day that he couldn't get out of bed.

Meng Xinci lit a cigarette and looked out through the window frame. The wind blowing on his face made him more awake.He turned his head and glanced at the computer screen. The first sentence at the end of the play was two people embracing each other.

Meng Xinci smiled slightly when he saw this sentence, went to the table and stubbed out the cigarette butt in the ashtray.He patted his face, silently cheering himself up in his heart, why not revise it all at once tonight.

It's just that he hasn't decided what to call it. From the beginning to the completion of the first draft, he has never thought about what the story should be called.

Nothing seems to match.

This matter has been troubled until the moment before Meng Xinci handed over the manuscript, before hesitating again and again, Meng Xinci typed the four words "Where is I?"

—Wherever you are, there is my heart.

I was still very entangled at first, but after I actually wrote these four, Meng Xinci felt that it was him again, and didn't change anything.

Meng Xinci felt that his imagination was really good, and he had just handed in the manuscript, and he had already thought of what the story would look like on stage.

What is the setting like, which lines should be said, and what the protagonist's expression should look like in what plot.

All these went through Meng Xinci's mind, and even if he closed his eyes, he could clearly remember what the next line was.

It's not how hard he prepared for this story, but that he has experienced all these things.

The character has been renamed, not Wan Junxiu, nor Meng Xinci.But he has experienced things, and he has had feelings.

This was the only way he could think of to tell everyone how much he liked Wan Junxiu.

The author has something to say: I originally wanted to do it once every six times, but the result is still only more than 600, woo woo woo, how did those daily million people do it?

It's Saturday today, will there be more people watching, can I ask for comments?

Happy first weekend of the new year.

感谢在2021-02-1909:06:21~2021-02-2008:33:23期间为我投出霸王票或灌溉营养液的小天使哦~

Thanks to the little angel who threw the landmines: 1 banana no na na;

Thanks to the little angels of the irrigation nutrient solution: 20 bottles of brother Agou from the WIFI team; 17 bottles of Sufu szd; thank you very much for your support, I will continue to work hard!