Little hooligan VS big tail wolf

Yu Ziyu walked over and sat on the sofa opposite Ji Feng, "You brought me to see this painting?"

Ji Feng pushed the cigarette to Yu Ziyu, "It's sort of."

"How do you call it?"

"I mainly want to talk to Lin Qiang about preparing gifts. I thought I could come to the gallery first, so that I can tell you what I will tell you sooner or later. But we are going out late, so we will have dinner first and then come here."

Yu Ziyu lit the cigarette, "What are you going to tell me sooner or later?"

"Ah."

"It's over if you don't just say it, why do you have to look at the picture and talk?"

"I do not know what to say."

"And you don't know what to say?" Yu Ziyu glanced at Hua'er, his heart fluttered, "Oh, it seems that this matter is serious."

"Hehe, it's quite serious, and I don't know where to start now."

"Where do you start? Let's start with the model in that painting, your first love?"

"First love? You underestimate me too much. My first love was in junior high school, and my lover married and had children long ago."

"Well, your first love is very prescient. So who is your first girlfriend in this painting?" Yu Ziyu leaned back on the sofa, ready to listen to Ji Feng's long speech.

Ji Feng turned his head to look at the painting, lit another cigarette, took a puff and then exhaled, through the thin smoke, he narrowed his eyes, "Actually, this is a dictation, when I drew this painting, The people up there are not with me."

"Her name is Miao Mo, and she is my high school classmate. At that time, her best friend was our school girl. I first chased the school girl. After a few days of chasing, I caught up with her. After a few days, I felt boring. I want to break up with Xiaohuaer. As a result, Xiaohuaer is dying, and Miao Mo can't persuade her, so she came to me."

"At that time, I was smoking, drinking, and fighting all day at school. I was basically a bully. Honest girls wished they could go far away when they saw me. But she came to me and pointed at me. My nose rebukes me all kinds of bad things. I think it's really interesting, so I just said that it's okay to break up with her school girl best friend, but she has to let me kiss. In fact, I just wanted to be brave and play a hooligan to tease She, unexpectedly, she agreed. At that time, my buddies were all watching, and I couldn't get off the tiger. They kept booing, but I couldn't help it. I bit the bullet and kissed, but she gave it as soon as I finished kissing. I slapped her. She said that I only said to kiss her, and she didn’t say that she was not allowed to hit me. Then she threatened me that if I dared to break up with her best friend, she would make me look good. After finishing speaking, she walked away, unrestrained That's right, let all of us idiots hang there to look stupid."

"Later, I dated that school girl for another month, and we still broke up. It was the school girl who mentioned it. Because I asked her all day long about Miao Mo during that month. So I was 'dumped' successfully, Miao. Mo also broke up with her best friend."

"Then I started chasing Miao Mo, but she hated me to death. In the end, I couldn't stand being entangled with her. She said that if I could be admitted to university, she would follow me. It was about to be my third year in high school. The rankings in the whole school year are from the bottom, she just wants me to give up. But how can I be easily defeated?"

"I have loved drawing since I was a child, and I didn't fall in love with serious studies, but the art classes my family enrolled in, from elementary school to junior high school, I never stopped. So I enrolled in an art pre-examination class, and then Gritting my teeth and studying cultural courses for a year, I was successfully admitted to an art academy in Shenyang. Coincidentally, Miao Mo was also admitted to Shenyang that year, so we got together naturally."

"I thought everything was so beautiful at the time, and God really cared for me. My parents were also overjoyed. They didn't expect that I would be able to pass the exam. They thought they would be happy if I could go to a junior college after repeating my studies for two more years. They even took me up the mountain to pay respects to my ancestral grave that summer.”

Speaking of this, Ji Feng stopped and stood up, "I'm so thirsty, I'm going to pour two glasses of water."

The water came back, and Yu Ziyu took a glass, "Your story is really bloody."

"Life is full of dog blood." Ji Feng sat back on the sofa.

"Then what happened after you went to college? Why didn't the sweetness last forever?"

Ji Feng drank half a glass of water and lit a cigarette, "Well, the four years of college were really sweet, without any twists and turns. Our school is not far away, and she often came to the studio to find me. This painting is from my junior year. She asked me to draw the first draft. But I was not satisfied after several times of drawing, and I always felt that I couldn’t draw her charm. Later, I changed the cloth frame to draw again, but she got tired of sitting, and I was tired of drawing too. , so I put a piece of paint on it, put the name tag on it, promised her that I would finish the painting later, and threw the painting aside."

"I will graduate from university soon. I want to stay in school as a teacher so I can concentrate on painting, but she refuses. She majors in business English at university, and she is going to the south. After several discussions like this, we made a compromise and decided to come first. Beijing."

"When we arrived in Beijing, we first looked for a place to live. In order to save money, we started to live in the basement. We lived in the basement for two months, and we both felt that our bodies were going to be moldy. Then I met some new friends at that time, and we moved again under their introduction. Arrived at the painter's village."

"The painter's village at that time was completely different from the so-called painter's villages later and now. How can these villages be called 'villages'? At present, there are small bungalows of a few square meters or more than ten square meters, almost every family has a yard, and almost several families share a yard. Summer is warm and winter is cool, and electric fans in summer and briquettes in winter, let alone ecstasy .”

"The people who live there either paint or play music. You can always meet weird young people in strange clothes on the road. Apart from painting and singing, they just gather together to drink and smoke leaves. Miao Mo doesn't like it there. Move. But I like it, there are friends I can talk to there, and I can paint with peace of mind. So we haven’t moved for a long time.”

"However, the problem is that you can't fill your stomach just by painting, you have to be able to sell paintings. But at that time, there were almost no personal galleries in China, and there were no art districts. Only occasionally a foreigner who came to China who was full to eat Whose painting is on, will buy it and pay for the exhibition. Generally, if you become popular, you will go abroad, and that is very rare, so most of the people who stay in the painter's village are poor."

"Then two months later, the money brought from the family was almost used up. They all graduated from college, so of course they could no longer reach out to the family. At that time, Miao Mo had already found a job, but the salary of the newcomer was not high enough to provide for two people. Expenses are very tight, and there are always a lot of things to buy for painting, especially oil painting, it is simply a bottomless pit of money. I am a big man and I can’t rely on my girlfriend, so I started looking for work everywhere. Illustrators. But this kind of work is very unstable, and they are often owed to squeeze the royalties, or they will not be paid at all.”

"In this way, we have been living the days of tightening our belts and still wanting to chase our dreams. I remember one Mid-Autumn Festival, we found a few good friends in the village to make dumplings together. We don't drink beer, buy I drank a lot of Erguotou, and soon everyone was drunk, many people cried, and Miao Mo cried too. But I couldn’t say anything, I could only swear in my heart: I will be famous in the future and treat her well.”

"Later, painter villages in various parts of Beijing were demolished one after another. We finally moved into the building as Miao Mo wished. Although it was shared with others, it felt less fringe at last. But new problems came one after another. The rent was high. Now, the life of Miao Mo and I is getting tighter. In the past, in the painter's village, occasionally there was no rice for a few days, and we could spend two meals at home and abroad, but living in the building is different. Close the door and live by yourself My own life, no one cares about the life and death of other families. Miao Mo began to discuss with me, telling me to stop painting and find some jobs that have nothing to do with painting, and then we can talk about it after stabilizing. I refused, and she cried a lot He didn't force me anymore, and found a part-time job by himself, and started working overtime every day and night."

"Alas—people, until the last step, they always think there is still hope."

Monsoon stopped again and drank the remaining half glass of water in the glass.

Yu Ziyu changed his posture and poured out another cigarette, "You are really going too far."

"Yes. Don't you just want to persevere. Because I know that once I stop painting and live only for livelihood and money, it must be a road of no return. I will go farther and farther and get lost sooner or later. Fang Xiang can never find his original self again. And it turns out that it is indeed the case.”

"Then what happened later? How did you give up that attachment?"

"I remember very clearly that it was the first weekend in September 2000. Miao Mo had just received last month's overtime pay, because the previous salary had already paid the rent, so we were very happy, and after calculation, we could get I paid two or three hundred yuan to buy something I like, and it happened that my few paints were almost gone, so we happily went to Dongsi, which is closer to the art museum, on Saturday.”

"Go shopping first. At first we were reluctant to buy anything, just looking. Later, in a clothing store, we saw a white half-sleeved shirt with round dots and a denim skirt with suspenders."

"Is that the one on Hua'er?" Yu Ziyu asked suddenly.

Ji Feng nodded, "Well, that's the one. She liked it so much, so she tried it on. She really looks good in the dress, but we were in a dilemma when we asked the price. I still remember that the clothes cost 30 yuan, and the skirt cost [-] yuan. [-]. Then we bargained with the boss. I don’t know if the boss saw that we really like it or he is really expensive. Anyway, he said that the last order of foreign trade and the sale of goods at the end of the season did not ask for much. Yes, she was only willing to pay [-] yuan for the paint, and would not give it any more. In the end, Miao Mo took off the clothes and dragged me away. I said let her buy the paint. I can wait a few days to talk about the paint, but she No way."

"Then it was about the clothes that spoiled her interest. After a few more visits, she rushed to the art gallery. When I arrived at the art supply store, the boss told me that a new imported paint had arrived, and said that the effect of painting would be perfect." Very good, but the price is more expensive. I calculated that it would cost [-] yuan to buy all the pigments I wanted, and [-] domestic ones would be enough. Then I struggled a bit and wanted to buy the imported ones. Miao Mo disagreed. I said that since I came to buy paints and wanted to paint a good picture, why not buy better ones. She said that there would be no big difference in this kind of thing. Not worth it. I said there was a big difference, but she didn’t understand at all. Anyway, we started arguing, and she mentioned to me that I didn’t buy clothes. I got angry and said that I didn’t buy paint, and asked her to go back and buy clothes .She said I was unreasonable, and ran away when she got angry. I was also angry, so I didn't chase her right away."

"She didn't take her bag that day, and she put all her things here, and only had a few small changes in her pocket. Later, when I went out to look for her, she was gone. I guess she went home first, and then went back to buy Paint. And I couldn’t resist the temptation, so I spent 300 yuan to buy imported paint. Then I was very nervous on the way home, thinking that she would have a big fight with me. But when I entered the door, I saw that she had already After finishing dinner, I took out the paint, but she glanced at it and said nothing. We didn’t argue that night, and before going to bed, she only said that she would work overtime tomorrow and went to bed. I thought it would be the same as before. Same, it will be fine in a few days, so I didn’t say anything more.”

"She had already left when I was woken up by the phone the next day. The call was from a publishing house, saying that a sum of my manuscript fee had been settled and asked me to pick it up. I was so happy that I hurriedly Then I went out to the publishing house."

"The first thing I thought of when I got the manuscript fee was the suit. At that time, mobile phones were not affordable for everyone, and Miao Mo only had a BB phone. I went out of the publishing house and found a phone booth and started posting about her, but I passed it four or five times in a row, but she never replied, so I went directly to Dongsi, planning to buy clothes and go home to surprise her."

"However, when I returned home after buying clothes, I was completely dumbfounded. Miao Mo's things were gone, and she left me a letter. The letter said that she received a call from a cousin in Shenzhen a few days ago. There is a shortage of people with her profession, let her go. She had already refused, but after thinking about it all night last night, she changed her mind. This morning she went to the company to resign and bought a train ticket. She decided to go to Shenzhen. Because I was not at home, so she had no choice but to write a letter to say goodbye to me. She also asked me to pay attention to my health and family matters."

"At that time, I just felt that my head was blank, and I couldn't think about anything. I dropped the letter and rushed out to take a taxi and went straight to the train station."

"By the time I found her train out of breath, the train was about to start in 5 minutes and I couldn't get on the train. Finally I found her place and knocked on the window, and she opened the window I cried. I asked her to get out of the car, but she refused. I said I would never buy such expensive paint again. She shook her head and said it was not because of that. I said I got the royalties to buy her that suit, but she still She shook her head and said it was not for the clothes. I said I would never paint again, and I would do whatever job I could find in the future. She said that she had persisted with me in Beijing for nearly three years, and the reason why she never gave me too much pressure to give up painting Regarding Hua'er, I just didn't want me to regret it and blame her in the future. Later, she was sobbing and the train started to move. I seized the last chance and handed in the clothes I just bought for her in the bag, and I said let her Believe me, I will be able to sneak up and go to Shenzhen to find her. She promised to keep in touch with me. Then I kept chasing the train until the train disappeared.”

"Later, I couldn't run anymore. I lay on the ground panting. An uncle sweeping the floor came to me, looked at me, and said, "Young man, that's a train. How can you catch up with it? At that moment, I suddenly understood." : That’s not the train, that’s my youthful dream, it’s gone forever, and I’ll never be able to catch up.”