Deep Cabinet Licking Dog Diary

Sunny on Monday [-]th December

I wanted to sleep well for two days to escape what I had seen and heard so horribly.

But the person in charge of the tutoring institution that worked part-time on weekends told me that if I asked for leave again, I would not do it.He also said that if he can go steadily on Saturday, he can also add an evening shift on Sunday.

Intimidated and lured, I succumbed.I have to live.

To live is to suffer, to be hurt, to be able to hate.

Even though I really can't hate Lu Bei.

I had mixed feelings during my insensitive part-time job.

At first, I was in so much pain that I didn't want to live, and I had no other thoughts but wanted to die.I know this kind of paranoia that loses its mind is scary, and even I am taken aback by myself having such thoughts.But it hurts too much, it hurts too much, my heart has never felt such severe pain and cold.I recalled Lu Bei's expression and the emails that flashed by in my mind over and over again. Over and over again, I thought that my mind began to doubt whether this scene was real or an illusion, and the memories that were close at hand began to blur. With a splitting headache, I let myself go for a moment.

The bloody pain in my chest was too superficial, and gradually became unable to relieve my pain at all. My brain was numb and drowsy like thousands of ants biting. This person is only living by instinct.

Eat, talk, sleep, I try to live.

Then I started to feel a little resentful, even though objectively I didn't want to blame Lu Bei.I know we have no promises and agreements, and I have no right to blame him.But I can't help it.If I die now, with this resentment, I will definitely turn into a ghost and come back to him.Damn, I still laugh when I think about it, the red-clothed male ghost is infatuated and resents his husband.But to be honest, instead of blaming him for kneeling and licking Bai Yueguang for reunion, it's better to blame him for not falling in love with me after seeing me work so hard.

In all fairness, I have given him time, energy, and money. I don't know what else I can give him.

I have nothing left.

So finally started to despair.What else can I do?I can only wait endlessly, waiting for the owner who threw me out of the car on the highway to find his conscience and come back again.

It doesn't matter if you don't have a conscience, just treat me as a pity.

Pity me for the wrong payment with affection, pity me for being lost and not knowing repentance.

Lu Bei, please have mercy on me.

If I am doomed not to be able to get your love, then your pity, your guilt, your touch...you can give me anything.

As long as you want to be with me.

I suffer like Prometheus whose liver is being eaten by birds over and over again. He is for his great fire, and I am for my great love.

Pain can turn a person into a madman.

Pain can turn a man into a poet.

There is no essential difference between the two.

But on the weekend, Lu Bei was at home as usual, as if nothing had happened.Even when I came back from part-time job with a bad face, I even asked, "What's wrong? I'm ashamed."

I shook my head: "No, I'm tired."

"Didn't eat? I saved some for you, and I'll heat it up in the microwave for you?"

I shook my head: "No, I've eaten."

Then went back to bed.

I had a full part-time job schedule on weekends, and I had to go back to school for roll call on Sunday night, so I didn't see Lu Bei again.

Besides, I was also hiding, and I didn't know what expression to face him with.

I dare not see his face, as long as I see it, I will think of him crying.

I won't be able to bear it.

Lu Bei has only sent me a few messages in the past two days, but seeing that I didn't reply, he didn't send any more.

I looked at our chat page and thought, sure enough, his sea king's shell has not changed, and he has no patience with fish. As long as he doesn't get a response, he will close the net early and go to another sea area.

Me, me, I can neither touch his heart nor his exterior.

Really? Nothing.

He laughed at himself, Lu Bei was really proud, but he was annoyed when he didn't reply three times.He is used to being favored, so of course he is confident, but the people who love him, are they so devoid of dignity.

I began to fall into a cycle of self-pity and self-loathing.In the end, I couldn't look down on myself.

So I opened the software and asked Jeff: I'm at school now, are you going out for a drink?

Jeff thought for a long time and replied to me: I have a ball date with my friends today, tomorrow night.

He asked me: Are you afraid to see me?

I asked back: What is there to be afraid of?

Jeff interjected: After all, it’s the first time we meet, both of us are…

I'm annoyed, so I replied to him: forget it if you don't drink.

He hurriedly said: drink, drink.But...you should be mentally prepared to meet me first.

I didn't read what he said at all, let alone what he said was messy and inexplicable.

My thoughts were completely mixed and my emotions were surging.I was like a Coke that was stuffed with a handful of Mentos and the lid was tightly shaken and shaken crazily. As long as I was a little careless, the intense emotion would blow me apart.Now I can only grasp at any straw to dump my pain that has nowhere to complain.

I am a staggering pedestrian on the road of love, Lu Bei is the north wind that freezes me, and Jeff, who is unfamiliar on the Internet, is the only match.

I now set him on fire in desperation.

Because I am a deep cabinet.

There are no circles in the deep cabinet, and there are no friends in the deep cabinet.