Reborn Beggar

Chapter 56

Ji Yan was stunned for a moment before asking, "Who?"

Of course Lin Yang answered, and Ji Yan also admitted that he hadn't seen Han Bin recently.

Ji Yan had just returned to S City, and he couldn't help but come to Han Bin as soon as he got home to change his clothes and take a shower. He didn't have any thoughts about him, but they were both younger brothers. He and Murong were similar in some ways.

For example, the last time he came to look for Han Bin, he saw him sitting by the window, looking out of the window with nothing in his eyes. The emptiness of loneliness was exactly the same as that of Murong. Ji Yan couldn't help but care about him and love him. It seems that this can make up for some mistakes.

There are some things that Murong doesn't know, but Ji Yan remembers them clearly.

When he was very young, Ji Yan always saw his mother's tears, and only let him see her mother's tears. The mother in front of other people was always an elegant and intellectual woman.

Just because he knew that his mother's tears were shed for his father and another woman, Ji Yan had resentment towards his younger brother who hadn't appeared yet. When Murong came, Ji Yan looked at his younger brother who was shorter than himself and had a bad spirit. It hurts in an instant.

The tone of talking to him couldn't help being gentle, the child's resentment is very light, not to mention that he and Murong are related by blood, even if he sees his mother's tears again, he hates Murong again, and can't help but give him a little bit of mischief, It's just a click.

Ji Yan once intentionally broke Murong's book, threw his small purse into the river, and left him hungry...Ji Yan was taught by his mother when he was a child, and he seemed to know how to pretend, and he always kept these things hidden. , from a very young age.

When he was a little older, Ji Yan stopped such behaviors because he found that Murong liked him very much, almost adored him.

Ji Yan couldn't hate such a younger brother.

On the surface, his mother was just as nice to Murong, but secretly wiped away his tears. Ji Yan was stuck in it and couldn't escape. He couldn't ask his mother to change. Anyway, Murong didn't know, so he just pretended not to know.

Mother is the product of love tragedy, and Ji Yan has such cognition since he was very young.Ji Yan felt that everything would be perfect without her mother's tears, and there would be no such mother without love.

Therefore, Ji Yan doesn't understand the pain of love but hates it to the core and doesn't believe in love.

It's just that Ji Yan fell in love early. He found out that he might fall in love with Murong, and it was an activity organized by his high school class.

At that time, Ji Yan broke his body early, and he had changed several girlfriends. He didn't think he had anything special about Murong, and he was far behind those very good brothers.

Now Ji Yan's girlfriend is a classmate, she is not bad, she is a pure girl.

She asked him a question that many women would ask but left men speechless. If she and her mother fell into the water at the same time, who would he save first.

The first thing that popped into Ji Yan's mind was Murong and his mother fell into the water, who would he save.

Murong knows how to swim, and he taught him by himself, and his mother is a strong woman, so maybe she can swim up by herself, but what Ji Yan thinks is that both of them want to save, this is probably the first time that Ji Yan discovered that Murong is so in his heart An important position, equal to that of a mother.

Because he has seen his mother cry a lot, Ji Yan's wish since he was a child is to wish his mother happiness, and now there is another person added.

Ji Yan knew that if they were just brothers, it would be impossible for them to have the idea of ​​protecting and giving them happiness.This is just an outline, Ji Yan didn't think deeply about it.

It's just that his little girlfriend broke up with him. Ji Yan didn't know the reason, but he didn't force it. Soon he had a new girlfriend.

What really woke him up was going to play with his friends. They had been playing crazy, but they had their own sense of proportion.

They went to the bar to drink, this time without a girlfriend, all brothers.

It was all men, and it was more fun, and then I played cards with the people at the next table, but they didn't expect a gay couple in it.

When they were happy, the two kissed in public, and the kiss was inseparable. The bars were full of people who came out to entertain their loneliness, and they roared loudly like they were watching a theater.

Ji Yan and his half-grown children were dumbfounded, but they pretended to understand and kept silent.

After that day, they were quiet for two days. It should be said that nothing happened, as if nothing happened, but there are always times when they can't help it.Later, a brother quietly told them that there are such people in the world.

Ji Yan and the others were all curious, and later they went to look for a few dishes. They were looking for excitement when they saw women, but they were purely curious when they saw them. Several people commented on them, and some expressed that they couldn't stand it.

Ji Yan finished watching in silence. At that time, they were all smoking. Ji Yan looked at the entangled bodies on the TV with a cigarette in his mouth, and suddenly felt a little blocked because he thought of Murong.

Ji Yan is a person who can pretend. When he found such a thing, Ji Yan didn't react at all, and kept it all in his heart.

He knew it was impossible, he didn't believe in love and he didn't say anything, not to mention that it was his younger brother, and he didn't want to see his mother cry again.

Mom doesn’t cry now, but often looks at the sky emptyly. Ji Yan knows that it belongs to his mother’s injury. He doesn’t understand it, he can’t feel it, and he can’t share it, but because he has seen too much, he feels powerless because he has experienced too much. , let him have an obsession to protect his mother even if he betrayed the whole world.

Maybe this thought made Ji Yan pay more attention to Murong, and he also keenly noticed that Murong looked at him with eyes that were focused and affectionate. Ji Yan is a person who is used to wandering in this kind of eyes, but He couldn't ignore the look in his eyes.

This look made Ji Yan look into Murong's heart, Ji Yan felt that this was enough, and then played with himself.

The first time Ji Yan had sex with a man was after graduation, and he was also a brother who watched the DVD that time.

In that person's words, I approached him because I wanted to try, and Ji Yan is a heartless person, so it's safe.

Ji Yan thought about it and agreed, but at that time the lights were turned off, and Ji Yan covered the other party's mouth and nose to prevent him from speaking. The other party thought it was a joke, so he cooperated.

Because it was the first time, it didn't go well, but Ji Yan was very serious, and he regarded this person as Murong enjoying and loving him.

The next day, the man asked him if he had a crush on him, Ji Yan smoked a cigarette and shook his head.

For Ji Yan, this is like an episode, he can live his life as he likes, occasionally playing with men, but every time he has to regard him as Murong.

Mother didn't know when she found out that Murong was in love with her. Maybe women are inherently sensitive. When mother said that she was worried that Murong would rob him of his inheritance, Ji Yan felt that such a mother was terrible.

Ji Yan doesn't know if his mother has also seen his feelings. There is no better way to know a child than a mother, but he believes that his mother will not harm him, and he himself has never thought about having a future.

Love may hurt him, but love is not everything to him, and he doesn't love love either.

He did what his mother asked him to do, almost to the point of obeying. His mother was still as good to Murong, and never did him any real harm. Ji Yan felt that his mother was still the same mother, and sometimes he also thought that his mother was really scary.

When you see one more injury, even if you don't understand it, you won't want to give her more injuries. The desire to protect is innate in people, especially men.

Ji Yan was like this with his mother, he let her do what she did, and sometimes he was impatient but listened patiently.Besides, he thought, the days when his mother can be with him are always shorter, and he still has a chance to make up for Murong.

Until Murong's death.

When Ji Yan heard about Murong's death, he really thought it was a joke for a moment. He didn't see Murong until he was cremated.

Ji Yan has been running the company's business, occasionally helping out, as indifferent as if it wasn't Murong who died.

Both Ji Yan and Zhang Wen knew that Murong's accident had something to do with them, but no one mentioned it, and Ji Yan didn't mention it, as if Murong was going out on business.

To say that he is unwilling to accept the facts is better to say that he only found out that his love is so deep at this moment, so deep that he dare not face his death, his loss and miss.

These pains, Ji Yan doesn't know how to mention them, and he doesn't know how to bring them up. He seems to be born with the ability to pretend. He pretends so much that he can't tell what is the real thing, and lives as usual, without any changes from before.

The only change is that he often couldn't help mentioning Murong. He used to talk about Murong to his friends, he always said my brother, and there were no more adjectives.

Now when he saw Lin Yang, he seemed to see Murong standing in front of him. Even though Ji Yan knew that it wasn't him, he couldn't help but want to hug him.

Because of this episode, Ji Yan didn't look for Han Bin afterwards, so he went back directly.

It wasn't that Ji Yan let it go when he went back, he went to the bar to find someone to go to the hotel that night. Over the years, Ji Yan has established a fixed circle to relieve loneliness, and it is easy to find someone.

It’s just that I almost felt something, and I was very tired after finishing. Ji Yan only felt tired but couldn’t fall asleep. The next day, he drove to Han Bin’s school very early, and then stood under the tree next to the playground.

This location is considered hidden, but you can clearly see the only way to the teaching building. Ji Yan wanted to see Lin Yang, but he really wanted to see Murong. Although he knew it wasn't him, it was hard to meet someone so similar.

Ji Yan didn't know how long he had been waiting, but when he saw Lin Yang, the sun was almost above his head.

Ji Yan kept watching him walk into the teaching building, and he soon discovered that Lin Yang's eyes were not like Murong's, and his temperament, Murong's temperament was calm and resistant, with a hint of melancholy.

It is precisely because it is not Murong that Ji Yan can be unrestrained, maybe he has suppressed it for too long, anyway, Ji Yan remembered after a long time, he felt that he was crazy at this time, so crazy that it was frightening.

After Ji Yan made a decision, he left decisively.

It was the third day when he came back to school. Ji Yan had dressed up meticulously at that time. Ji Yan first asked if Han Bin was there. Knowing that he hadn't come to school for a few days, Ji Yan was worried, but he quickly ignored it.

Ji Yan asked several people to find Lin Yang's dormitory. Ji Yan said that he was going to Han Bin's house to visit him. He was sick, and suddenly remembered that Lin Yang was looking for him.

Ji Yan's words were full of loopholes, but Ji Yan was dressed in a serious manner, and Lin Yang was a defenseless person. All he could think was that Ji Yan wanted to hit him, right?

But when he heard that Han Bin was ill, he could go to see him and apologize, so Lin Yang followed without thinking about anything.

Ji Yan is very unprincipled in his actions. If it wasn't for the fact that his family has money and followed the right path, he would have done the opposite.

Ji Yan didn't take Lin Yang anywhere, but took him to a restaurant for dinner first.

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