[Twilight] Bright sunshine

If there is such a thing as fate, if a person can only refute fate once in his life.

I hope that the mercy of life will come to me, please don't let me meet that man, the man named C.

……

Fox's summer vacation is here. Although the weather has been maintained at a temperature of more than ten degrees Celsius, and the perpetually humid and hazy sky makes me feel that summer is far away, the boiling emotions of the school students make up for the regret that the summer is not brilliant.

Even the toughest teacher can't suppress the whispering of flea-like students in the classroom.To take a vacation, to work, to travel, to attend a summer camp, and to communicate with each other and leave a contact address.

Charlie is still flying to California this summer to see Bella, and I'm helping him pack as usual.Charlie's house is deserted and deserted because no one is there all the time. It can be seen that he often goes out and is not at home, and occasionally returns late at night.

He asked me to take the photos of Renee, Bella and his family of three out of the pockets of my clothes, and carefully put them in the desk cabinet next to the bed.

He didn't want Bella to see him carrying this picture around so often, it would put an extra burden on Bella to see that he missed them all the time.

I did, I knew Charlie loved Bella and Renee, but I didn't know how to get them back.Maybe it was good for the Cullens to crawl out, at least I knew Bella was going to be back at Forks for a while.I even fell in love with Fox because of the existence of Edward, probably, there is this paragraph in the movie vaguely.

If Bella comes back, Charlie will be very happy. I know this kind-hearted uncle loves me very much, but Bella is his daughter, and that feeling cannot be replaced.

Bringing Bella back may be the only good thing for the Karen family.

When I think of Karen now, I feel a headache and a stomachache. I don't want to have anything to do with them. It's too much trouble.

Countless times I've seen them occasionally be so careless, with a little effort, to dent their thumbs into the edge of the table.I have also seen them countless times, as if nothing had happened, rubbing their thumbs lightly, smoothing the thumb marks on the edge of the table, and by the way, stepping on and sweeping away the wood chips on the ground to humane destruction.

It is not in the category of human beings. I feel normal, but I am a little withdrawn. I am really worried that one day the Karen family will react and silence me, a person who knows too much.I know they seem kind-hearted, but the world behind them is not something I can enter, and others don't even need a thumb to kill me.

While preparing for the summer vacation, C's letter arrived again.I opened the thin, high-quality paper, and the gorgeous and elegant handwriting of C seemed to jump out of the paper and dance on my palm.

"Dear Claire:

"It was my luck to meet you.

If the world is all a lie to me, only you are the only truth I can clearly recognize.It's a pity that you have already begun to be confused, you doubt your own existence, and you don't even plan to break free from this terrible emotion.If even you have fallen into the quagmire of confusion and doubt of the truth, then what is the meaning of your existence?

This world seems to have become a dream, no, this world is a huge lie.I found you seven years ago, you are like the only sunshine in the darkness, let me see the real existence clearly.

Are you about to be dim now, unable to maintain your own true understanding of the world?

I really can't expect you to be my forever Claire.

I'll see you before you rot completely.

Until then, good luck, Claire. "

……

The letter is not long, really not long, but I studied it (in a daze?) for half an hour.

Well, I admit that C must have fallen into the literary and artistic rebellion period of the second year, I can't understand what he is nagging at all.This is not the first time, but many times.At least one-third of his letters are in a literary tone that makes my scalp tingle when I read them. What is the meaning of life, eternal truth, what kind of stuff is a lie, he really said a lot of these nonsense.

It seems that this letter must have been produced by me in the middle of the night when I was frightened by the Karen's family last time. Painful literary accents like "I live in a dream".

I think it's a pity, why did I forget that this guy is a literary fan.In recent years, it has been hard for me to break it back. Even if it is a bitter, sarcastic complaint, it is better than this unintelligible 45-degree melancholy.

What makes you doubt your own existence?

Does this damn great philosophical question have anything to do with me?Occasionally self-pity and self-pity will bring up this topic and whip the corpse, but the topic of whipping the corpse is still a topic, how can it be so serious.

And you are the only sunshine in the dark.

God, this sentence is too frightening. Although I know that guy C always likes to exaggerate everything, but the only sunshine is a heavy burden for me.

I have always felt that I am very gloomy. Even if the name Claire means brilliant and bright in Latin, the bright ones may be sunflowers, and the bright ones may be light bulbs, which have nothing to do with sunlight.Believers are just to relieve loneliness. The better ones are paper confidants, similar to the existence of friends in clubs. I didn’t do anything at all, so how could I become the only one?

And the rotten hair, am I the fir tree that was struck by lightning in the forest next door?Lao Tzu's meaning of existence has nothing to do with these things.

In the end, I read the summary of the letter, and it doesn't matter if I don't understand it, because he wrote it so that people can't understand it.

But C actually wanted to see me, which surprised me.For me, C is like a letter one by one. We hardly talked about the meeting, and I didn't expect to meet suddenly.

After all, we have been friends for six or seven years. In the United States, there are really not many traditional and reserved ways of communication like ours.

But when we meet, we meet, and you talk so condescendingly, could it be that you are the president of Italy?

When I think of Italy, I think of Roman Holiday. Those black-and-white movie images that are as soft as satin flow silently in my memory.

It's a beautiful country, I'm sure.

It's just summer vacation, maybe it's okay to meet up.During this year's vacation, I planned to stay at home to organize the bookshelves and some old things. Many things have to be moved out of the basement to dry and wipe.There is also general cleaning. In July and August, Fox will be more sunny. These are trivial things that take time and energy.

Taking time out to meet believers is also one of the joys of summer vacation.