longing

Xu Wei went back and forth to the hospital several times in the past few days. Xu's mother was too late to accompany her a while ago, and she also suffered from exhaustion. , Let the two old people also go home, leaving myself alone in the hospital to accompany them.

Xu's father didn't have a good temper with him. He either thought the food was not tasty, or thought Xu Yu was too stupid. Anyway, he would find fault with him whenever he had something to do.

Xu Yu slept on the hospital bed next to him at night, and Xu's father would wake him up if he wanted to get up at night.

Because the situation is getting worse now, Dad Xu's right eye has begun to blur at night, he was so angry and anxious, he threw off the quilt, staggered to the ground, and accidentally hit the cabinet when he raised his hand The thermos cup on the bed fell to the ground bang bang, which startled Xu's father and also Xu Wei, and suddenly woke up from the dream.

Then with the faint light, Xu Wei saw Dad Xu standing in a very awkward position leaning against the wall, his back in hospital clothes was a little thin, completely different from the tall and powerful dad in his memory, he quickly got up and walked over, only to find Dad Xu With one foot on the floor, the other is looking for a shoe.

An indescribable sadness welled up in Xu Yu's heart instantly.

"it's here."

Xu Yu pushed the shoes to Xu's father's feet.

Xu's father was silent for a while, then put on his shoes, and let Xu Wei help him to go to the toilet.

Put Xu's father back on the hospital bed, Xu Yu couldn't sleep anymore, and lay on his side on the bed.

"Are you asleep?"

Xu Yu replied sullenly: "No."

"When does school start?"

"September tenth."

After twelve o'clock in the morning, today is already September [-]th, and tomorrow is Duan Hefang's birthday.

Xu Wei suddenly remembered Ayun who came back from the United States to celebrate Duan Hefang's birthday. He should celebrate Duan Hefang, but he didn't expect that he was already a boyfriend, and he was still the same as the previous years.

"Buy tickets early to study, it's a waste of time to spend here with me."

"It's okay... I'm an intern this semester, just tell my cousin about the situation."

There was another moment of silence in the ward, and after a while, Father Xu said slowly, "Why are you willing to give up everything, but you have to refuse to change your mouth about that matter?"

Xu Wei knew what Dad Xu was talking about, he tightened the sheet at his hand, and didn't know how to answer for a moment.

"There must be something wrong with my education method when I was a child, that's why I taught you like this." Father Xu sighed.

"Dad, sexual orientation is innate." Xu Wei said.

"Then why are you alone?"

Xu Wei: "..."

He wanted to reply that there was nothing wrong with it, but Dad Xu's hoarse voice almost washed away all the hard bones of Xu Wei, and he couldn't even utter a single hard word.

"If you and that kid named Duan are really together, what will you do in the future?" Father Xu stared at the ceiling with his eyes wide open. The darkness in his eyes made him a little confused whether it was the original or because he was mostly blind, "In the future What should we do if we want to hold a grandson? There is no legal guarantee for the relationship between the two of you. What if you want to separate when you get old? What should you do if your relatives criticize you? He is so good, what if he finds that he regrets it and likes women?"

Xu Wei was breathing heavily, and a sense of powerlessness knocked him out.

They are only in their twenties, and it is the time when they think everything is the most romantic and beautiful. All of what Xu's father said only exists in areas that have never been explored in depth. Xu Yu felt the meaning of being an only child at home. He was desperate to be with the same sex, which was tantamount to letting the whole family bear the consequences with him.

Xu Wei didn't answer, and the silence in the ward made Dad Xu's nerves relax a little bit. He was very tired recently, and soon fell into a deep sleep, leaving Xu Wei alone in his heart. these questions.

After a sleepless night, a nurse came to make rounds at six or seven o'clock, and there were more sounds of coming and going outside. Xu Wei rubbed his dry eyes, went to the toilet to wash up briefly, and came out just in time to run into a Mother Xu who came in for breakfast.

"Mom, why are you here so early?"

"I can't sleep at home, you go back to rest today, take a bath or something."

With dark eyes, Xu Wei nodded.

Xu's mother is going to the bank today, and she went out of the hospital with Xu Wei.

"I'll go to the bank first, and then I'll buy some fruit. Remember to dry your washed clothes when you get home."

Xu Wei took the key and nodded.

"Going to the bank... isn't the medical bill very expensive?"

"Medical insurance can claim some, but hospitalization is burning money. Is there any way?"

Xu Wei pursed her lips: "I also saved some money..."

"Keep that little money for yourself, keep it for later when you marry...keep it for yourself, don't worry about money, it's not something you should worry about."

Mother Xu said, then turned her head and walked towards the bus stop.

Here it comes again, the feeling of being unable to squeeze your fists last night came again.

His dry eyes were hurt by the sunlight pouring down from the branches. At some point, Xu Wei was no longer the kind of person who could appreciate the romance and warmth of sunlight, he only felt restless and numb.

Xu Wei went home and took a shower. After finishing the housework, her hair was almost dry. She was really tired recently, with dark circles under her eyes. She lay down on the bed and fell asleep drowsily.

He had a long dream.

In the dream, there was the clearest radio sound under the shade of a tree next to the basketball court of No. [-] Middle School in the city, always playing "If you let it go, it will be the exit of the ending", and the shouts that almost drowned Xu Yi like a tide, Surrounded in the middle was Duan Hefang with a smile on his face. Xu Wei froze in place. He stretched out his hand, only to feel that Duan Hefang seemed so close, yet so far away.

out of reach

A phone rang while half asleep and half awake. It was from Duan Hefang. Before Xu Wei answered, the phone hung up.

Xu Wei yawned, feeling a little depressed when he fell asleep until it was dark outside the window. He glanced at the time, and it was almost ten o'clock.

Xu Wei was about to broadcast a call back to Duan Hefang, when Xu's mother called, and Xu Wei answered it first.

"Hey, 楒楒, have you eaten tonight?"

Xu Wei rubbed his stomach, which was already so hungry that it was aching and colic, and lied: "I have eaten, what's wrong?"

"When you come over tomorrow, help your father bring an extra set of pajamas, and a few pairs of socks, with thicker ones."

"it is good."

Xu Wei scratched his soft eyelids, suppressed his anxiety and boredom, he sighed, and called Duan Hefang.

What to tell him?

Tell him that he is very unstable, wronged, and useless now, or say sorry to him, and there is no way to spend his birthday with him.

Xu Wei pursed his lips, and the beeping sound of the phone in his ear rang for a long time, but no one answered, so he made another call.

He didn't answer the three calls in a row. Xu Wei thought that he might have gone to take a shower. He was about to hang up the phone in his hand and look for him later. At this time, the call was answered suddenly. There was deafening music and noise.

"Hey, Duan Hefang..." Xu Wei couldn't hold back his grievance when he called out his name, a tear quickly formed in his eyes, hanging on his lower eyelashes, precariously.

"Hello? Are you looking for Duan Hefang?" Ayun took a sip of wine with a smile, raised his phone and glanced at the note, then bent his lips again, his voice teasing, sounding very frivolous, "Who are you?"

Xu Wei held back his tears forcibly, the noisy voice over the receiver was in stark contrast to the lonely quiet here, his voice was low and hoarse, trying not to sound so distressed.

"You give him the call."

"He's going to cut the cake! Hey, I'll give you the first piece I agreed to eat!" There was laughter and noise from the other end, and Duan Hefang said lightly and affectionately to Xu Yu's ears along with the sound of the electric current. "Who are you on the phone with?"

Xu Yu suddenly hung up the phone.

He was breathing violently, lying on the bed, the pain in his stomach became more and more obvious, suffocating sadness and helplessness surrounded his limbs, Xu Wei's eyes were dull, dry and painful, his mind was confused, and countless emotions were like paste My brain was tangled crazily, and I didn't know how long I stayed on the bed like this, and the days on my phone had jumped from the 7th to the 8th.

The phone rang again.

Xu Wei slowly picked up the phone.

"Hi, 楒楒..."

"Is it okay to break up?"