Su Wei

Rhubarb panicked and shouted loudly, "Su Wei! Su Wei, where are you?"

No one responded.

He spun around in a daze, stretched his neck to look around, wishing that he could have thousands of compound eyes like a fly, and be able to catch Su Wei's figure in the huge playground.However, he really couldn't find him.

A few minutes later, Da Huang burst into tears. Just as his vision was blurred by tears, a hand patted his shoulder lightly. Su Wei's figure came from behind him: "Lu Xiao."

Rhubarb quickly wiped away his tears and snot, and turned his head to see that it was indeed Su Wei.He threw himself into Su Wei's arms and burst into tears without a trace.

People around looked sideways at him, Su Weiluo was a little embarrassed, patted him on the back lightly, and whispered: "I'm sorry, I'm going to buy tickets for the Ferris wheel."

After crying for a while, Rhubarb felt much better. He raised an innocent smile and said with a strong nasal voice, "Then let's go ride the Ferris wheel."

When the Ferris wheel slowly left the ground, Da Huang stretched out his slender arms, trying to warm Su Wei with his thin body.He put his chin on Su Wei's forehead and said softly, "Doctor, tell me what you and Gao Jin did on the Ferris wheel?"

Su Wei unconsciously touched his lips with his index and middle fingers: "You said that the person who kisses at the highest point of the Ferris wheel will be blessed... That was the first time I kissed him."

Rhubarb felt a sore tingle in his heart, and a sour feeling stirred his heart, but he still forced a smile and said: "You can say whatever you think, and you will feel much better."

Su Wei's memory is like a reservoir with its gates opened, those images that he thought he had forgotten emerged from the depths of his mind, as clear as yesterday.

"We didn't agree on anything. When we reached the highest point, he just happened to look at me, and I just happened to look at him... In fact, it's all just going with the flow..."

Rhubarb's stomach is like a kitchen, oil, salt, sauce and vinegar are mixed together, it's hard to tell what it's like.He loves Su Wei, and he pursues him so hard, but ten years ago, that person had the right time, place and people, and being happy with each other was as simple as drinking water and eating.In fact, he knew very well in his heart that it was a thing of the past, but a kind of sadness inevitably arose.He couldn't help thinking: "If I could be born ten years earlier and meet a doctor, how great it would be?" Unfortunately, if there is no if, fate has already been determined in which time I will meet someone.

In fact, Gao Jin has always been a scar in Su Wei's heart, not only because his suicide made Su Wei feel guilty, but in fact, that abnormal love itself was the source of Su Wei's guilt.Puppy love, homosexuality, the scorn and ridicule of the world, the death of the other party... If Gao Jin is still alive, maybe after that experience, Su Wei can still look back with a smile.It's a pity that Gao Jin died. His death kept Su Wei in such a predicament, and no one could pull him out together.

Su Wei has never mentioned his psychological journey and getting along with Gao Jin to anyone. Even after he was rescued, Su Qian and Su Yi cried and asked him why, but he just shook his head and refused to say anything. .As for the past between him and Gao Jin, everyone is only in the dark. No one knows what the two of them were like back then.Only when Bai Pingnan treated him for depression did he discover that secret. Now, in order to treat his paranoia, he once again opened his mouth to Dahuang.

After saying that, Su Wei felt a sense of relief in his heart, and Gao Jin seemed to be a little far away from his position—maybe his excessive depression was the cause of his illness.

When the Ferris wheel slowly reached its highest point, Da Huang almost begged and said, "Doctor, can I kiss you?"

When the two of them rode the ferris wheel together for the first time, Su Wei rejected him.This time, Su Wei held the back of his head with a slightly cold hand, and kissed him proactively.

Da Huang grabbed his back, obviously it was supposed to be a kiss that could make his head go crazy, but he was very calm.He sighed silently in his heart—his doctor is really too thin.

After the kiss was over, Da Huang held Su Wei's face, looked into his eyes and said slowly: "You can kiss him here, you can kiss me, you can even kiss anyone. It doesn't have any practical meaning." meaning, the legend is just a joke and does not have the nature of any promise."

His voice was quite magnetic, making psychological hints for Su Wei.Su Wei lowered his eyes and muttered to himself: "It doesn't make any sense..."

After leaving the playground, Su Wei's illness did not improve significantly.Rhubarb knew all this could not be rushed.Mental illness is extremely difficult to cure, because those triggers that cause illness will be integrated into people's consciousness, and consciousness is like a pool of water, a drop of sewage drips into it, and then this drop of sewage is separated, even if the entire pool is poured out. Neither can water.

In order to release Su Wei's inner depression, Rhubarb spends a long time every day listening to Su Wei and Gao Jin's past.Su Wei resisted recalling, and rhubarb induced him to recall a little bit.Sometimes the resistance in Su Wei's heart was too serious, and he was only willing to say the same thing over and over again. Rhubarb listened to him ten or twenty times, and looked for some changes in the details between his words to explore his subconscious.

And his top priority is not only to cure Su Wei's heart disease, but also to take care of Su Wei's body.Su Wei's condition was so severe that he had to rely on medicines for support, and those psychotropic medicines were very harmful.In order for my dear doctor to easily overwhelm him when he is drunk or not, Rhubarb has worked hard, thinking about food every day, exercising with Su Wei, and collecting all kinds of All kinds of interesting things make Su Wei happy...

After two months of hard work, Su Wei's condition finally improved a lot. Gao Jin once again recovered to the point where he would not harass him, and Su Wei would no longer be emotionally broken because of these.

On this day, Da Huang proposed to go to the place where Su Wei and Gao Jin jumped off the building, so Su Wei took him to a community.

This is a residential area, the apartment building is [-] stories high, and each floor is crowded with seven or eight families.The house is very old, the size of the unit is small, and the location is not good. It can be regarded as a civilian community.

The stairs of the apartment building are separated from the floors by doors. Because the floors are higher, most residents use elevators to go up and down, so almost no one walks in the stairwell, forming an isolated space.The two went up to the top floor and found that the iron bars blocking the roof were relatively new. Gao Jin's death about ten years ago made the property management pay attention to this.Rhubarb grabbed the iron railing and shook it, then twisted the lock on the iron railing and studied for a while, making sure they couldn't enter the rooftop, so he had to give up.

He asked, "Did Gao Jin jump from the rooftop?"

Su Wei nodded.

"What about you?"

Su Wei said, "The third floor."

When the two returned to the third floor, Da Huang discovered that the originally open windows had been replaced with iron bars. Looking out of the windows, he felt as if he wanted to be locked in a prison.

Da Huang asked puzzledly, "Why did you choose this community?"

"Gao Jin used to live here, and he lived in the building next door. The roofs of other buildings in this community were locked, but the lock of this building was broken, so we often went to the roof of this building."

Da Huang nodded: "So in the end he also chose to commit suicide here..."

Hearing the word suicide, Su Wei's lips trembled, but he didn't speak.

Rhubarb looked out from between the fences curiously, his sight was blocked by another tall building, and there was nothing special about it.He asked: "Why did you jump from here? What was the scene like?"

Su Wei narrowed his eyes and recalled in confusion: "I went up the stairs and stopped here. I stood by the window for a while, and Shaojun caught up and stood there and called my name." He pointed The next level of platform. "Then I climbed onto the ledge and jumped off."

Da Huang asked: "What did you think at the time? Did you come here to commit suicide?"

Su Wei pondered for a while, and said with a wry smile: "Actually, I haven't told anyone. Everyone thought I came here to die for love, but I vaguely remember that I didn't come here to jump off a building at that time. My depression at that time The disease is very serious, ever since I learned of Gao Jin's death, I have always wanted to commit suicide, I remember my brother once knelt down and begged me to live..." At this point, he suddenly choked up. "Actually, my condition had improved at that time, so my brother was willing to let me out and walk around. He just asked me to walk around the community, but I ran out quietly and came here-I don't remember why. came, but I didn't want to die then."

Rhubarb was puzzled: "Then why?"

Su Wei shook his head: "I don't know, I don't remember how I felt at the time. When I was seriously depressed, I wanted to jump downstairs when I saw people. Maybe it's because of this."

Rhubarb was puzzled: Could it be that the problem still lies with Yang Shaojun?

There was a sudden sound of footsteps downstairs, and Su Wei immediately stiffened.The footsteps were getting closer and closer. A middle-aged man appeared on the platform on the next floor. When he saw Da Huang and Su Wei, he frowned and shouted: "That Sanin!" (Who are you?)

Su Wei trembled violently, and squeezed Da Huang's arm tightly, not daring to look back.

Rhubarb was secretly surprised by Su Wei's reaction, held his hand back calmly, and smiled at the middle-aged man: "Ah, I'm here to visit relatives." (Uncle, let's come to visit relatives)

The middle-aged man looked at them strangely.Su Wei always turned his back to him, his back was stiff, and his head was slightly lowered.Only Rhubarb standing beside him could see, his eyelashes fluttering violently.

Rhubarb looked at the middle-aged man instead, thinking that he had something to do with Su Wei, but the middle-aged man obviously didn't know them, so he looked at them strangely and left.

After he left, Da Huang gently patted Su Wei's shoulder and said softly, "Doctor, it's all right."

Su Wei turned his face away, only then did Rhubarb realize that he had already burst into tears.Strings of drops of water rolled down his eyelids, and the long eyelashes were wet with tears, sticking into strands.Da Huang had never seen Su Wei cry so sadly.

He shook his head sadly, and couldn't stop his tears: "I remember...I remember everything..."