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"What a Sparassi idea." Osamu Dazai touched the shark teeth on his forehead, and stared at the mirror fiercely.

Ling Ling did not lie to him, the post-modern style and the rock metal style are perfectly integrated in a small folding line, and the master's artistic soul is hidden in the small oil-based pen. What an amazing work!

As a result, Osamu Dazai has mastered a new skill: when he meets a boy in the second stage of middle school who doesn't speak human language on the street, as long as he lifts off the bandage on his head, the mark of non-mainstream killing Matt on his forehead will surely disappear. It can make him stand out from the crowd and become the worst cub in the second disease.

"So that's how the head was sawed off." Osamu Dazai took out his "Complete Self-Shark Handbook" and made a careful note.

Pain, do not try, exclude.

Just as Osamu Dazai was immersed in writing, a small voice rang in his ear.

"Squeak...cheep, ha, human, you don't think you can replace my identity with two strokes like this, do you? Naive."

The squeak of rats was replaced by a strange human voice, and the eyes of the gray mouse tied to the corner by the sneaker rope shone with a strange red light, bewitching people's hearts.

"Your ability is indeed very strange." Brain chipmunk walked slowly on the ground with its short legs, trying its best to create an appearance of a worldly expert.

It looked at Osamu Dazai, pretending to be regretful, and said, "Unfortunately, you will never be able to become a magician."

The Chipmunk shook his beard: "Don't question my judgment, there is no magic power flowing in your body. If there is no magic spirit that signed a contract with you, you can't see my body at all."

"Unwilling? Resentful? Do you feel inferior?"

Its voice gradually took on a treacherous color: "Human, do you really think that the curse spirit will help you wholeheartedly? The contract, ha, it's easy to violate it."

"The one who signed the contract with you is a super imaginary magic spirit, and she is also a leader among the magic spirits. Will she really be willing to be driven by you? Do you know what kind of reward she plans to charge from you?"

How do you get paid?

Osamu Dazai suddenly thought of his miserable memories of rushing to draft the manuscript all night before the deadline, and hugged his weak, helpless and pitiful self with distress.

Mr. Tsushima knows that no one knows better than him the ability of zero-zero reminders, and there is really no drop, no coo, he will definitely not coo tomorrow.

I apologize, but I dare next time.jpg

Chipmunk looked at Osamu Dazai who was lost in thought, and felt complacent.

It knows humans all too well, what a suspicious, arrogant species they are.

Non-my family, its heart must be different.

The harmony between him and that curse spirit must be just plastic friendship!Watch it drive them away with its eloquent tongue and sophistry, and then catch them all in one sweep and avenge their shame.

The villain is brainwashed and has high fighting spirit!

Osamu Dazai was sitting cross-legged on the tatami mat, listening to Mr. Brain's special class: I'll just quietly watch you pretend. jpgSeeing Dazai's expression of listening carefully, the chipmunk stroked his beard in satisfaction, and continued He continued: "Generally speaking, it is impossible for an ordinary person to become a magician, even a super-level magic spirit can't help it."

"But old man, it's different."

It promotes itself calmly: "I have lived for too many years, and I have helped many ordinary people in the dream-chasing magic world realize their dreams. I have very rich experience in this matter."

"Young man, I have traveled more roads than you have eaten, don't believe it." Seeing that Osamu Dazai was noncommittal, Brain Chipmunk immediately increased the dose, using its proud brainwashing skills to seduce: "If you are willing to be with me Make a deal, whether you want to become a conjurer or get rich overnight, I can help you. How about it?"

Fearing that Osamu Dazai would refuse, it hastened to increase: "It is enough to fulfill two wishes at once. Who told me to appreciate you? If you don't mind, young man, you can ask me to be your teacher."

"I will pass on all the secrets of my life to you." Brain chipmunk figured it out, and took out his real trump card, "Including how to seize other people's bodies and parasitize the secret technique, which will also be in your pocket."

Chipmunk is well aware of the temptation of longevity to people. How many people stand at the top of power and have countless wealth are not satisfied, and they insist on living in the world for a long time.

It doesn't laugh at these people, because it is the leader among them, and it is the only one who has found the secret of longevity.

It does not believe in Osamu Dazai and is not moved.

"Immortal?" Osamu Dazai looked disgusted, "It's terrible, it's really terrible, how could such a thing happen!"

What a desperate secret technique, it wants to cruelly deprive him of the long-awaited death, let him struggle forever in this oxidized and decayed world, and just think about Dazai Osamu on the verge of suffocation.

"It's terrible." He muttered to himself, "This must be the scariest cold joke I've ever heard in my life. It's so hopeless that such a future only exists in imagination! Help! I'm going to have a nightmare today, Will!"

Zero sauce save me!

Chipmunk: What? !There are actually people in this world who don't like immortality?What kind of self-shark maniac is he?something is wrong with you!

Mistake.The mouse spat hard, and before Dazai raised his head, he forcibly returned to his appearance as a world-class expert.

"Hehe," it pretended to be calm, "You are still young, you will understand when you grow up, don't worry."

Fearing that Osamu Dazai would say something that the mouse could not understand, the chipmunk quickly changed the subject: "What about my suggestion? This will be your only chance to become a conjurer."

"Hmm." Osamu Dazai said in embarrassment, "But, I don't know whether what you said is true or not. If you trade directly, I will lose money."

This is to ask Chipmunk to show some sincerity, not to scatter hawks when there is no rabbit.

The gray mouse rolled its eyes, and patted its knotted chest generously: "No problem, I can tell you the method first."

It sneered inwardly while showing a kind expression on the mouse's face: "Do you know the two-faced Su Nuo? The legendary ghost with four hands."

"He was a conjurer in his lifetime, but he became a curse spirit after his death because the curse was too powerful, and the twenty fingers left by the two-faced Su Nuo contain all his power." Brain Chipmunk said purely: "This is very , a very nutritious tonic, a great tonic.”

"If you eat it, you will become a great conjurer."

As long as there is one, it will ascend in situ.

finger?Ever since Chipmunk spoke, the disgust on Osamu Dazai's face never disappeared.

Are you curse spirits so unhygienic?Swallow your fingers raw?

At least put it in the microwave oven for 2 minutes before eating. Does it even need to be sterilized?Not afraid of diarrhea?

"Zero-chan is the best." Osamu Dazai pressed in a low voice, "I can't let her learn from you."

"What?" Chipmunk was a little deaf and couldn't hear Dazai Osamu's words clearly.

"It's nothing, nothing." Osamu Dazai waved his hands perfunctorily, "So, where should I find the fingers of the two-faced Su Nuo?"

Chipmunk is not stupid, so he won't be prostituted to death by him. It shook its pointy mouse head: "I'll tell you when you swear to agree to the deal between us."

"Oh." Osamu Dazai said indifferently.

If you don't say it, don't say it. He went back and asked Lingling, Lingling knew everything.

Ling Ling: I, the strongest, play money (kimbo)

"So, what do you want?" Seeing that the chipmunk had finished talking, Osamu Dazai tapped on the tatami with his fingers, and asked with great interest, "Let you go?"

"This is the foundation, right?" Brain Chipmunk played with words cunningly, "I don't want too much, you destroyed my body, just give me back another one."

"Hey!" Osamu Dazai stepped back vigilantly, "What do you want to do, a disciple?"

Where is his emergency number?Policeman, there is a perverted mouse here, quickly call the black cat sheriff.

Chipmunk was furious: "What's the use of your ordinary body?! Xia Youjie! Give me Xia Youjie's body!"

Listen to what you say, even more shameless than just now!shameless!

Osamu Dazai's tactical retreat: My God, the purpose of this mouse is actually the great mother of their Panxing Sect. It, it wants to replace the identity of mommy!

No!

Do you know how difficult it is for Mommy every day?Old and young, there are countless older children blowing bubbles around them, teaching thousands of people to open their mouths to wait for food, and repairing water heaters, air conditioners, refrigerators and tractors when they have nothing to do.

Just a pig brain, not qualified to be compared with Mommy!

"It's better for you to figure out your own position." Osamu Dazai laughed enough.Ling Ling didn't return for a long time, the smile on his face faded little by little, and he returned to that indifferent and gloomy look.

"Prisoners are not qualified to negotiate conditions."

A sharp paper knife was stabbed firmly into the tatami against the chipmunk's tail, and the severed gray fluff less than a millimeter was blown by its heavy breathing out of fear.

"It's a pity, because Zero-chan is so capable, I didn't even have the chance to torture you." Dazai Osamu sincerely regretted, "Otherwise, I can show you the handicrafts of our 'ordinary people'."

His expression was indifferent and disdainful: "The mouse in the gutter also has the courage to laugh at humans. I think the body of this mouse is perfect for you, so just stay like this for a lifetime."

Osamu Dazai lazily turned around, raised his feet and walked to the next door, leaving behind the mouse's eager squeaking.

He is going to catch people.The playful little girl stayed next door for too long, Wutiao Wuzhi might teach Lingling something bad.

Dazai Zhi stood at the door of Xia Youjie's office, knocked on the door twice perfunctorily, and pushed the door straight in.

"Master? You're done chatting." Lingling waved happily when she heard Osamu Dazai's footsteps.

Osamu Dazai stood at the door, looking delicately at Gojo Satoru who was tightly bound by the turtle-armour-bound.

This familiar red... His eyelids twitched: "Lingjiang, are you knitting again?"

"It's not me." Ling Ling shook his head violently, pointing to Wujo Wutiao, who was in a cocoon, "It was Mr. Wujo who said he could knit sweaters, Mr. Xia You was just his apprentice, so he volunteered to teach me the most fashionable knitting Law."

"I taught you how to knit a sweater, but I didn't teach you how to tie a knot." Gojo Satoru squeezed out a few words through his teeth, "Damn it, where did you buy this wool? Why can't I break it?"

Gojo Satoru was suddenly moved by the woolen yarn that he couldn't get rid of even without the lower limit.

Osamu Dazai knew that this was the item he had drawn——[R·Love that stretches freely].

The effect lives up to its name.Flexible stretching: extremely inclusive, no matter how the muscular man shows off his biceps, there will be no wear and tear.Love: Red, the color of love.

What to see him do?To untie the bell, the person who tied it has to be tied. Can a normal person untie the knot that Ling Ling made?

Dazai Osamu changed the subject calmly and decisively under the eyes of Gojo-kun: "Gojo-kun, do you still remember our bet? I'm about to win."

Gojo Satoru stopped fighting with the wool: "If my math is correct, our bet seems to have happened last night."

Are you so fast?

"This is efficiency." Osamu Dazai shrugged, didn't say what he did, he waved to Ling Ling, "Let's go, let's go record the show. After a month, I will ask Gojo-kun to come and give us a free job. "

"You are confident." Gojo Satoru sneered, and continued to fight with the knot with his head bowed.

confidence?No, just stating the facts.

Dazai Osamu and Ren Lingling happily took his arm, and reached out to stroke the little girl's long black hair.

The biggest villains are in their hands, and the little soldiers without "brain" control are just a mess, and it doesn't even take much effort to expel them.

Well, there's no need to tell Gojo Satoru about these things.

Before the outcome is decided, they are still hostile for the time being.

He didn't discuss it.

Osamu Dazai and Reiling left Gojo Satoru who was tied up in the office, and took Mimiko and Nanako to take a taxi to the newly selected shooting location.

The second episode of "Approaching Science", action!

"Crack!" Osamu Dazai took the slate and gestured OK to Mimiko Nanako.

"Welcome to our show..."

After the second episode is the third episode, "Approaching Science" is the same as Mihua Reasoning Weekly, the interval between dead lines and dead lines is seven days.

Dazai Osamu, a man who is always on the verge of death.

"Mimiko and Nanako are getting more and more proficient." In the latest episode of filming, Linglingpiao looked at the shot from behind the camera, and the little girl in black and white on the monitor was getting more and more hell-like. Yan Mo loves Ben Ai.

"Although that's the case..." Osamu Dazai rubbed his chin, looking at the empty studio, "I think we still have too few employees."

The program "Approaching Science" combines the right time, place and people. It not only firmly occupies the prime time of Juzi TV, but also has a powerful publicity. The tap water floods the entire network area, and even the grandma who sells green onions on the roadside knows it. its big name.

Why is this so?Isn't this a popular science program? How can it be more attractive than a drama about mother-in-law and daughter-in-law?

It's simple, because Osamu Dazai spent money.

All the shareholders of Xingjiao were so greedy for the big cake he drew, they paid out of their own pockets and donated their contacts for free to send this small program that no one paid attention to to the position behind the news broadcast, where the traffic was the largest.

Coupled with the zero-zero black technology propaganda policy that surpassed the times, this hard-core and novel program became popular, and a new wave of science swept across Tokyo.

In the eyes of the audience masters, the "Approaching Science" program group is not only sincere in content production, exploding in funding, and cool in special effects, but their staff is also very responsible.

Especially the moderator of Mr. Tsushima's personal forum [I have been pushing Mrs. Tsushima since I was born! ], is simply a god-like existence. It is online 24 hours a day, all year round, rain or shine, and arranges the screaming fans in an orderly manner.

This program has no shortcomings except that it is too short and only 24 minutes. It is too short, and it is not enough to watch, Modo Modo!

In the hearts of audience friends, the shooting scene of "Approaching Science" must be rigorous and cold: a main director and three assistant directors sit in front of the camera and discuss swords in Huashan Mountain, more than a dozen assistants are on call at any time, and logistics personnel send out door-to-door Big chicken legs, what a professional team.

In fact, there were only three living people + two curse spirits, no assistants, no logistics, and no big chicken legs.

Knocked.

"I decided to recruit people." Osamu Dazai said seriously, "Hire the best employees with the lowest budget."

These two conditions seemed to be slightly contradictory, but Lingling understood him.

"Who are you going to prostitute for free this time?" Lingling asked skillfully, "Wujo Wu or Xia Youjie?"

Osamu Dazai waved his arms and said, "Children only make choices. Of course I want them all."

Osamu Dazai had a foresight.

He has been dissatisfied with the school uniform of the High School of Conjuration for a long time, ordinary, ordinary, and tasteless.

Look at the black and white impermanence suit he designed for Nanako Mimiko, what a creative work, with the buff bonus of exorcising the soul, full marks for fashion.

Gojo Wu and Xia Youjie, one with white hair and the other with black hair, are a perfect match for this suit.

Who do you think made the judgment?This is the opinion of Mr. Shuji Tsushima, an ashes player of Miracle Zero who traveled through another world!

Didn't the teacher tell you?Listen to the bricks!

Osamu Dazai looked at the suits on Mimiko and Nanako, and made a phone call to the tailor: "Hello, I am the customer who ordered the black and white impermanence suit at your house before, please use the original design to make another one suitable for the figure of a male high school student." Suits..."

Bai Wuchang Wujo Wu, Heiwuchang Xia Youjie, when the bet is over, it is the day you sell your body.

With the massive release of the fourth episode of "Into Science", the one-month betting period came to an end.

From the beginning to the end, everything was as expected by Osamu Dazai.

On the day when the results were officially announced, Gojo Wu skipped class and Xia Youjie went to Panxingjiao together, and sat across the coffee table with Osamu Dazai and Ling Ling.

Osamu Dazai handed out a thick stack of reports to the stinky Gojo Satoru: "Don't be dissatisfied with Gojo-kun, I've already told you the result."

In one month, the target of a 30% drop in the number of mantras in Japan was easily achieved.

Dazai ruled his people, and he would never make unsure bets.Every bet he makes is based on the fact that he has an absolute chance of winning, without exception.

"Welcome Mr. Wutiao to join our Panxing Sect!" Lingling opened the firework tube, spraying Wuwu ribbons all over his body, which was blocked by his black line with no lower limit.

"I would like to bet and admit defeat." Although Gojo Satoru was upset that he was suspected of being tricked, he still admitted it with a pinch of his nose, "Tell me, what do you want me to do?"

"Don't worry, don't worry." Osamu Dazai said generously, "It's not a difficult thing, but it must be Gojo-kun and Xiayou-kun."

Xia Youjie: "It's so suspicious."

Wujo Wu: "Speak human words."

Two uncute haters hate DK, Osamu Dazai curled his lips secretly, but when he looked up at them, he put on a pure and kind smiling face.

"It's like this. The program group of "Approaching Science" has always had only two hosts, Nanako and Mimiko. The audience responded to us: it's too monotonous, and they want something new."

It's not good to be a child host all the time. Some people will suspect that they abuse child labor. Shouldn't the reliable big brother help the little girls share the burden?

Facing the doubtful and terrified eyes of the DK duo, Ling Ling took out two black and white impermanence suits tailored for them from behind, and slammed them on the coffee table.

"Did you see your costumes?"

Facing the shocked expressions of Wujo Gojo and Xia Youjie, Director Dazai clapped his hands happily, and made a final decision: "My lords, for the future of the magic world, make your debut and become an idol!"

The author has something to say: Zai: Plan to pass