Your AI is online

Osamu Dazai opened his eyes: a white head dangled in front of his eyes.

He closed his eyes, unwilling to look again.

It is said that the eyes are the windows of the soul, and he performed an online autism live for everyone.

"You guys live very comfortably. If there is Daifuku, I want to eat too!" The noisy voice rang in Dazai Zhi's ears, shattering his ostrich mentality of trying to escape from reality.

"Zero-chan." Dazai Osamu pitifully grabbed Ling Ling's sleeve, complaining all over his face, "Why?"

He just asked Lingling to go out and dance to the gods, no, pretend to be a ghost, why is there an extra wild man when he comes back?

"Hmm...a present?" Lingling said uncertainly.

"A present from a nightmare?" Osamu Dazai lost his smile and asked ruthlessly, "I don't want it, can I throw it away?"

"No." Gojo Satoru waved his hand, and he asked while eating the big fortune, "It's rare to see an old friend again, aren't you excited at all?"

"You go, I'm not interested in men." Osamu Dazai said ruthlessly.

He looked at this white-haired sweet-toothed snow monster who was walking with his girlfriend and eating his big fortune, and his murderous heart was ready to move.

"So ruthless." Wujo Wujo sighed pretendingly, "You don't need to say it, I understand, it's all because of the damned jealousy of men."

Osamu Dazai: Why am I jealous of you?Jealous of your fast running three or being single?

Gojo Satoru looked at Osamu Dazai through the black eyepatch, and said sincerely, "I haven't seen you for many years, Dazai-kun, you have become shorter."

Osamu Dazai choked for a while: "Short? Who do you say is short?"

He thought Gojo Gojo wore blindfolds just for non-mainstream, but he didn't expect that he was really blind, and even lost the most basic ability to judge as a human being.

Osamu Dazai has obviously grown so much taller that even a dwarf standing on tiptoe can't hit his head so tall.

"It doesn't matter if you are unwilling to accept the facts, let's compare."

Gojo Satoru briskly changed from sitting cross-legged to standing.

As the lines of his legs straightened, a pressure of 1.9 meters hit his face.

"Did you fertilize yourself?" Osamu Dazai stared at Gojo Satoru's leg bone for two seconds, as if he was thinking about where it would be more appropriate to cut it off in the middle.

What a long leg, break it.

"Dazai-kun, how old are you this year?" Gojo Satoru asked without answering.

"Master, I just came of age." Lingling raised her hand to answer.

Afterwards, Zero Zero and Osamu Dazai saw Gojo Satoru and were silent for a second, then proudly puffed up their chests: "I am 28 years old this year, and my name is brother, hurry up."

The three people present were still on the same starting line back then, Gojo Satoru had sneaked away for many years, and suddenly realized that his uncle was actually himself?

This can't work, the invincible Wujo Wu teacher can't lose in age, he wants to seize the opportunity and take advantage of it first!

Gojo Satoru: "Call me brother."

Osamu Dazai: "Okay, Obasan."

Lingling: "Mr. Wutiao, time is like a butcher's knife, so I mourn you."

Unexpectedly!Who would have thought that after not seeing each other for so many years, the old friend would be gone for the third time? !

As the saying goes, there is a three-year-old generation gap, and the combined generation gap between Wujo Wujo and them is enough to compare with the length of the Mariana Trench.

Remember back then, Gojo Satoru was still the number one problem student at the High School of Conjuration. He wore sunglasses and walked around the streets every day to steal chickens and dogs and do evil. He was only short of walking around the world with an erhu.

At that time, he was young and easy-going, with soft hair and good rua. Although he was tall, he was not so tall that Osamu Dazai wanted to cut his legs off. Overall, he was a reliable and spiritual guy.

And now?According to him, Gojo Satoru chose to stay in school after graduation to become a glorious human soul engineer, devoting himself to cultivating the future of the magic world, and his peaches and plums are everywhere.

Gojo Gojo being a teacher is like Dazai Osamu selling pancakes at a street stall.

He must be a problem teacher who has bigger problems than problem children. Taking the path of bad boys makes bad boys have nowhere to go.

Lingling understands, this is Wujowu's way of managing students: as long as the teacher is less reliable than you, you can't torture the teacher with unreliability.

There is only one bottom line he teaches students: don't be more muddled than him, everything else is easy to discuss.

Ling Ling felt that Wujo Wu's teaching policy was fine, but she only had one question, which was hidden in her heart for a long time and could not be forgotten for a long time.

Zero Zero: Do ​​you have a teacher qualification certificate?

Gojo Satoru: ...No.

He is the strongest, he does not need to take the teaching qualification test (stubborn.jpg).

Zero Zero and Gojo Satoru looked at each other, trying to see his wronged mind from under his blindfold.

Nothing, Gojo Satoru is super invincible and confident.

Well, at least Zero Zero confirmed one thing - the future of the magic world is coming to an end.

High school of spells!Don't make fools of your child's grades just because you have a lot of connections with private schools!You will be complained by your parents if you behave like this!

What happened to the conjurer?Conjurers also have to take the college entrance examination, do you think any student can escape?Don't mistake people casually, what's wrong with the assignment work?Can taking a job deprive a child of a future diploma?You have no heart!

Gojo Satoru, look at your classmate, Sister Ruzi, who has passed the examination for a doctor's license. How can mere teaching resources stump you, a genius?

Even the strongest in the world must hold a certificate to work!

"You did a good job as a teacher at school, what are you doing here?" Osamu Dazai said earnestly, "Go back, go back, there is no internet here."

"You can be patient in a place without WIFI, so can I." Gojo Satoru didn't say how many stand-alone games he had downloaded and downloaded from his mobile phone, with a detached look on his face that ignored the traffic.

Dazai Osamu is an Internet addicted boy who is many times more serious than Gojo Satoru. Gojo Satoru will never allow himself to lose to Dazai Osamu in terms of Internet tolerance.

The 28-year-old male teacher hugged a plate of Dafu, with an expression on his face that he wanted to take root here, and the white hair that stood up like straw moved with the wind.

Ling Ling also felt that it was inappropriate for Gojo Satoru to stay here, but she didn't think it was a network problem.With her walking mobile WIFI, why do you need to disconnect from the Internet?The problem is on the other side.

She persuaded: "But, there is no hair gel for sale here, Wutiao-kun, your hairstyle will be messed up."

Gojo Satoru is not born with a hedgehog hair that can be crushed even with a brick. It must be a lot of effort to comb the soft hair into a toothpick shape, right?

It's embarrassing for him. He has to spend half an hour on his hairstyle every day before he can go out. All this effort is to maintain the dignity of his teacher and to have confidence in front of the students.

People don't change their hairstyles for no reason, either because of broken or puppy love.

The two Wujo Satoru have nothing to do with each other, so it can only be because he is too childish to suppress the naughty students, so he wants to comb his hair to look like an adult, and use hairstyle to make up for the deterrence limited by his appearance.

"It's not easy being a teacher, is it?" Lingling sighed, "Look, you have no money to buy sunglasses because you spent money on hairspray, so you have to use a black cloth to deal with it. It's pitiful."

She remembered that Gojo Satoru's sunglasses before were very expensive and custom-made, which was very different from the blindfolds sold at a loss of [-] yuan and three pieces at a loss today.

"The black cloth absorbs light, it's very hot." She kindly suggested, "Do you want to use bandages with the owner? You can join a group during the promotion in the supermarket, and you can get a [-]% discount."

Gojo Satoru really used the bandages, but later changed the blindfolds because the blindfolds were easier to take than the bandages, and was once suspected by Maki of copying Osamu Dazai's creative shape.

"Yes, yes." Osamu Dazai echoed, "There is no hair gel you need here, go back quickly."

Movie for two, you don't need to have a name!

"I don't use hair gel." Gojo Wu gritted his teeth.

He has cultivated his self-cultivation through teaching for many years. He thought that no matter how naughty students he met, he would be able to deal with them calmly. Read the lesson plans, and occasionally call the transfer student's name to ask him to answer questions.

Thousand-year-old monsters have attended classes under him!Wutiao teacher is invincible!The top ten model teachers of the year must have his name.

——But within half an hour of reuniting with Zero Zero and Dazai Osamu, he broke his merits, and his invincible heart was hammered to pieces.

They are poisonous, completely at the level of mental pollution, and he has to apply for medical insurance reimbursement and mental damage.

Hearing Gojo Satoru's "sophistry", Osamu Dazai flatly denied it: "Impossible."

Where did you get your hedgehog hair without hairspray? God Tony can't grab a broomstick for you with his bare hands.

What's the shame in using hairspray?Young man, not honest.

Do you know the image of Gojo Satoru in Dazai Osamu?

For a badminton, pluck the feathers until only five are left, and then draw a thick black line on the ball.

A brush or a broom in life can remind Dazai Osamu of Gojo Satoru's current image.

Everything can be enlightened by Gojo, as expected of you, a man who will never be OOC like Osamu Dazai!

"Your hairstyle is composed of 30% hair and 70% hair gel. Don't lie to us. The eyes of the masses are sharp and will not be fooled by your one-sided words."

Facing the two faces composed of "Batman's disapproving eyes.jpg" emoji pack, Gojo Satoru took a deep breath and slowly pulled down the blindfold.

Attention all units!Attention all units!

The following is the famous scene of rushing to the trending search, becoming popular and out of the circle, and the barrage of wife and husband split half-and-half—Gojo Satoru's second form, open!

The blindfold fell, and the soft hair was stuck to the forehead like snow, the blue pupils contained the whole sky, the eyelashes were like pigeon down, and all the favors of the gods for human beings were gathered in him.

Wujo Wujie's blindfold only means one thing: he is about to magnify his move, which is forward swing.

In the past, the Gojo Goggles blindfolds were used for domain expansion and Xushi·茈, but now the Gojo Goggles blindfolds are for...

"See? I didn't use hairspray."

Gojo Satoru pointed to his smooth hair, which was no different from that in high school, and said firmly.

Don't even think about slandering him who is naturally beautiful!

"Wow! It's black technology!" Lingling held Wujo Wu's blindfold, his eyes sparkling brightly.

"It's amazing, the eye mask actually has the effect of fixing hair! Which brand of manufacturer is so invincible?" Ling Ling was puzzled.

She could see clearly, the blindfold only covered Gojo Satoru's eyes, and he didn't even touch his hair, but his hair stood up obediently by itself, knocking the Newton bed in the coffin to the bottom of the board.

"Oh!" Osamu Dazai suddenly remembered, "Doesn't that mean that bandages can also fix hairstyles? Why didn't I buy bandages with this function? Wujo-kun, do you have a baby link that you can send me?"

Gojo Satoru: ...Why are you focusing on the blindfold?

Such a handsome guy, no one praises him?

He is so lonely.

Hot knowledge: handsome guys generally know that they are handsome, and there will not be a wonderful plot where a peerless handsome guy has always been inferior to his appearance until the heroine Mary Sue tells the truth.

Gojo Satoru has no opinion on appearance, there are too many things about him that are worthy of the envy and hatred of others, but this does not mean that he does not know his own appearance advantages.

The love of the opposite sex and the jealousy of the same sex are common emotions for him, and this is the first time he has been completely ignored.

At least a little bit surprised, shouldn't there be a big surprise after so many years?

Xiao Wu, an empty nester, is lonely and autistic.

Wujo Gojo is really miserable, one of the two people in front of him is a hot man like him, Dazai Osamu is good-looking, and he doesn't care whether other men are good-looking or not.Not to mention another one, AI aesthetics, makes Osamu Dazai's beauty trick so far useless.

"Aren't you wondering how I came to this world?" Gojo Satoru changed the subject.

He took back the blindfold, and restored his domineering hairstyle under the awe-inspiring eyes of Dazai Osamu and Ling Lingkan acrobatics.

Of these two people, one suspects that he is a handicapped person the first time he sees him, and the other grabs his hairstyle to worry about it. Why are their concerns so crooked?

Shouldn't a normal person feel a little panic when a friend from another world finds out that he is not from this world, and chases them all the way like a heartless man?

Especially when Osamu Dazai left, Pan Xingjiao, Curse Master Recruitment Trading Platform, Curse Spirit Personal Safety Protection and Rights Protection Association still had a lot of unfinished business. The shopkeeper left as soon as he said he would go, leaving the two of them tired as social animals.

Now that Gojo Satoru grabbed the fox's tail, why didn't he panic a bit?

"This shouldn't be your original world." Gojo Satoru glanced at the room without lights, and said with certainty.

In Osamu Dazai's world at least there is internet, otherwise how would this internet addicted boy survive.

"We're here to collect folk songs." Osamu Dazai said indifferently, "I've already been told that I'm a writer."

Picking up the wind, a trip to go out of the Milky Way as soon as you say it.

"But I'm really curious." Osamu Dazai asked, "How did you come here?"

According to Zero Zero's data, there should be another world bordering the world of spells, where there is a superpower named Saitama-sensei. Gojo Satoru should go to Saitama-sensei's world first when he leaves the world barrier.

Saitama's world has a special world law: the strongest in the world are all bald.

Only a bald head can be called the strongest!Because bald, strong!

If Gojo Satoru steps into the world of Saitama-sensei, his strength will allow him to be recognized as [the strongest] by the world rules.

Just like there are always five of the Four Heavenly Kings, who said that there is only one strongest person?

Gojo Satoru was given the same title as Saitama-sensei

"You become stronger when you are bald. The more bald you are, the stronger you are, referred to as bald and strong."

Osamu Dazai gave a thumbs up: "Gojo-kun, it's time to pursue a higher realm. Go, let's leave."

"If you want me to leave, I will leave. Wouldn't that be shameful?"

Gojo Satoru, the coolest rebellious cat in the whole college.

He doesn't shed (super loud)!

"You, don't you know the way back?" Lingling said abruptly.

She watched Gojo Satoru turn his head sideways and play a little tune.

The case was solved, and you really lost your way?

"Cough." Gojo Satoru defended himself, "I found the weak point of the world barrier with my six eyes, and saw a lot of codes by accident."

The six eyes are really extraordinary, he can see through the barrier and the essence of the world, which is remarkable.

"But you don't know how to program?" Lingling guessed.

It can be seen that only with the qualifications to set foot in this field, programming, catching bugs and card bugs are the unique skills of experts.

Gojo Satoru, as an honorable college student, is obviously easy to see that he has never learned C language.

Read more books, my child, don't just think about fighting and killing every day.A civilized society convinces people with reasoning, how can you call him a younger brother in [-] languages ​​when you punch him, and he still appreciates you to relieve his anger?

Gojo Satoru: "I went to look through a few textbooks temporarily."

"Programming: From Entry to Entry"

"Killing pigs in the previous life and code mechanics in the next life"

"The first step in programming: learn to give up"

It is gratifying that the genius Xiaowu has lived up to his title of the strongest. He was originally a high number man, and it is very OK to temporarily change his major to go to the Internet.

The definition of no lower limit is not much simpler than programming. If you really can't learn it, you can give yourself infinite space and enlightenment (physics).

In the vast sea of ​​data, Gojo Satoru only captured one sentence:

I heard you're going to the next world?Buildings, windows, escape!

Gojo Satoru didn't know that he would become bald when he stepped into Saitama's world, but he believed in his screaming sixth sense.

Can't go, if you go, you will be a hairless cat, a weak cat who can't hold its head up in front of other cats!

When things come to an end, Gojo Satoru hesitates in countless different worlds.

He has reached a blind spot in his knowledge, can anyone give me a copy of the demining manual for travel in other worlds?

Just when he was about to order troops and generals to choose one at random, the breath of the familiar super imaginary magic spirit was caught by the six eyes.

Wujo Wu made a decisive decision and landed directly in the kingdom of water.

As soon as he landed, he saw Ling Ling circling around a "corpse", with the expression of a scumbag who didn't want to take responsibility after making someone faint.

As a teacher, he will never allow such evil deeds to appear under his nose!

"So? You sent that person home?" Osamu Dazai asked.

Gojo Satoru and Ling Ling nodded and shook their heads.

They all agreed that it's not good to disturb people's dreams, but it's not good to just put people in the middle of the road. What if they are picked up as waste by a passing waste collector?

In the end, the two hit it off and came up with a perfect idea.

"We covered his head with a white cloth." Lingling gestured, "This way the uncle who collects waste will think that he is really a corpse and won't take him home."

In this way, the lucky guy doesn't have to worry about his own death, and can run home shyly with his face wrapped in a cloth.

Gojo Satoru: I feel good.

Winning bamboo shoots won his heart.

"That's fine." Osamu Dazai also felt that there was no problem.The death of the district community is nothing, a good man has ambitions everywhere, life is short, and he will be a new man in the next life.

"I haven't asked yet, what are you pretending to be doing?" Gojo Satoru had no doubts about Dazai Osamu's ability to do things. This person has more holes than coal balls, so he is black and black.

"I didn't do anything." Osamu Dazai said lightly, "I'm just preparing to rule the country."

The author has something to say: Zai, speak the craziest things in the calmest tone.