Stockholm syndrome

My mother said before that my biggest advantage is that I know what I should do.This is probably why she is always so reassuring to me.Many years later, I often wondered if she would be reluctant to leave because she couldn't let go of me if I was not sensible.I have always been a good boy, whether it is right or wrong to do so.

I was classified as 3 in the college entrance examination. I rushed to school early in the morning and took the school bus to go there.The SARS epidemic is almost gone, but it is still inevitable to take body temperature when entering the examination room.The chirping of cicadas made the temperature even hotter.Everyone lined up and entered the arena one by one.I have always been calm and not in a hurry, but when the preparation bell rang, I suddenly became nervous.The hand holding the pen trembled.It seems that I am also unavoidable.

I touched my pants, wiping the sweat off my palms.When the paper was in hand, I hurriedly wrote my name and scribbled on the card.Because of my nervousness, I wrote the name crookedly, so I can see the word Ye Chen.Many people like to turn to the back of the paper to read the big questions or the topics of the composition after they are sent out.And I have always done it step by step. If I haven't finished writing the previous ones, I won't read the latter ones.I know that I am a person with insufficient concentration. If I know the topic of the composition, I will inevitably be distracted.If you encounter a difficult topic, it will also be affected when doing other topics.My writing speed is not fast, and when the last composition is left, it is often only an hour.

The paper was turned over by me, it was a propositional composition, and the title was, turning point.Chinese is my weakness, and the teacher always says that my composition is not good enough.Maybe I am indeed a person with rich emotions, but I am really not good at argumentative essays, and I can't write that kind of contradictory arguments.Perhaps it was because of too many misfortunes that God took pity on me in the college entrance examination.In the past two weeks, I have done a lot of papers and tried my best to restore myself to the level before I was admitted to the hospital.But I still can't do what I want, so the topic of this composition may be God's compensation for me.

Too many things have happened in the past six months, transfer, SARS, me and my family, me and Li Weiran, too many things, too many turning points, I am groping bit by bit, moving forward bit by bit .Work hard and go on strong.I have never felt this way when I was writing a composition, and my pen never stopped, as if I was venting my strong feelings.

The images that kept flashing in my mind seemed like a lifetime away.Strolling on the streets on Valentine's Day with Li Weiran, the top 10 in the test was praised by parents.The departure of Li Weiran, the occurrence of SARS.Too many things.My life is like a fresh little literary film, but after filming, it suddenly turned and became the struggle history of inspirational teenagers.Heaven will send a great mission to the people of Sri Lanka, and they must first suffer from their will, starve their bodies and skins, and exhaust their muscles and bones.Maybe I won't be able to achieve great things in the future, it's just that this turning point is too cruel.

I filled the entire two-page composition paper with 15 minutes to hand in the paper. I have never realized that I can write so fast.In the past, when writing essays, I would try my best to climb up to the 800-word line. At the end of the climb, I was always a little short, and then it was very painful to write another piece of lyrical nonsense, dragging the word count. .But this time the writing was smooth, without a word of nonsense.The only nonsense in the full text is probably, I love my family.This sentence, even if I don't say it, they will understand.

I checked the paper back and forth again, turned it upside down and laid it flat on the desk.On the white paper, you can see the imprint of the font.

The Chinese test went very well, and the next subjects performed very well.In the afternoon is mathematics, and I answered it very smoothly. Mathematics has always been my strength, but it is Li Weiran's weakness. Every time my single digits are more than his total score.

Coming out of the examination room, the school was crowded with parents who came to pick up their children. Most of them were wearing masks. At that time, the epidemic was almost over, and there had been no new cases for a week, but it was still worrying.I stretched my neck and looked around, but there was no sign of Li Weiran.If he comes to pick me up, he will definitely let me see him first.Large numbers of students poured out.The parents outside the door also started commotion, calling their children's names, including Beibei, Lele, a name that sounds childish, I don't know Beibei, Lele heard his mother calling them openly on such occasions What is the reaction of the nickname.

"Chen'er!" I seem to hear someone calling me, it seems to be my father's voice.How is it possible, he probably doesn't care about me anymore, maybe he doesn't even know when I will take the college entrance examination.Besides, it's just 5 o'clock, and he hasn't got off work yet.

I lowered my head and continued walking outside.As soon as he came out of the school gate, he was grabbed by the shoulder.It's really my dad!He actually came to pick me up! "Chen'er, how did you do in the exam?" My dad has lost a lot of weight during this period, but he is still a fat man in essence. He protects me in front of him and separates the crowded crowd with his shoulders.

"Fine. Why are you here?"

"That's fine." My dad nodded, his face still so haggard.Sweat was all over his forehead, he must have been waiting under the sun for a long time.I reached into my trouser pocket and fumbled for a long time, took out a pack of tissues, and took out one to wipe my dad's sweat. "Can I not come, you take the college entrance examination today." My dad pushed the crowd out, and I followed behind him.The little finger of his right hand stretched out unconsciously.When he took me out when I was young, his hand was too big for me to hold, so he just stretched out his little finger to let me hold it.My heart softened all of a sudden, I never thought that he would come to pick me up, and I never thought that he would not give up the habit of stretching his little finger for so many years.I stretched out my hand to hold my dad's little finger, and he patted the back of my hand lightly with the rest of his fingers, just like when he was a child, he continued to walk forward without stopping.

These days, my dad goes to work during the day, and drinks when he comes back at night, then gets drunk, and then falls asleep.It's a cycle like this almost every day.To be honest, I still blame him.Every time when I was doing papers in the house, I felt so uncomfortable when I heard his muffled voice talking to himself. Several times, I wanted to scratch the back of my hand with a lancet.But I held back, I can't treat myself badly, only good health can support this family.When I was almost desperate, he came to pick me up for the exam.It was as if a ray of light suddenly appeared in the dark night.I pinched my dad's little finger, crying with excitement.

Our father and I ordered a few dishes in the small restaurant downstairs, and my dad ordered a dry-stir-fried kidney bean as usual.He ate much less than before. He asked for two bowls of rice, but he couldn't eat more after eating only one and a half bowls. I knew he was afraid that I would worry, so he asked himself to eat more.It pains me so much for him to look like this.

"Dad, forget it if you can't eat it." I took the remaining half bowl of rice from my dad and stuffed it into my own bowl.I took a few more bites of vegetables and put them on, chewing with great mouthfuls.

"Chen'er, eat more, eat more." My dad put down his chopsticks, brought a glass of water to me.Maybe my life will really get better, just like the turning point written in today's college entrance examination composition.

It was almost 8 o'clock when I got home after a full meal. I was reading a book in the room. My dad didn't watch TV because he was afraid that it would affect me.He has a computer in his house, but he has hardly touched it. When he bought it, he was in the mood for computers, so he followed the trend and bought one.Basically, I occasionally take it to the Internet.I sorted out all the chemical formulas.Just about to look at physics, there was another sound of smashing things from my dad's house.My scalp was numb at that moment, my dad must have bumped into the cabinet by accident, it must be.I meditate in my heart.I was afraid that there would be another sound that would make my wish shattered, and then, my dad's tongue-in-cheek voice came again.He is drinking again.I gasped heavily, as if something was pressing against my chest.I unconsciously smeared large swathes of ink on the draft paper.

Turning something is just my delusion.Idiot, idiot, I kept writing two words on the paper, Ye Chen is an idiot.I used too much force, and the punctured draft paper was in a mess. I stood up abruptly, tore off the scratched draft paper, grabbed it hard, and threw it against the door.The ball of paper bounced and fell to the ground.I tore my hair a few times and accidentally touched the wound on my forehead, the pain calmed me down.In order to prevent my dad from worrying, I lied to him that he knocked on the pool while taking a bath.I try my best to be a good son and not let him worry about me, but does he know that he makes me worry and sad.

On the last day of the college entrance examination, as soon as I came out of the examination room, I felt that the atmosphere was different from the previous few days, and I was finally liberated, probably because of this mentality.It was obvious that the students who left the examination room were running towards the door instead of walking. The dense crowd was like bison migrating on the African grasslands.It was so hot, I raised my arm and wiped the sweat from my forehead, and followed the big team out of the school.As usual, there were many parents standing outside the door to pick up their children. I stood by the guard and watched for a long time, but I didn't find my dad, nor did Li Weiran.Sure enough, my dad came to pick me up yesterday, which really wasn't a turning point.

The voices of parents talking to their children kept coming from around me, and the sight of parents being kind and strict made me almost feel the eyes of a needle, everyone would be jealous.I quickened my pace and dared to get on the school bus with the fastest speed. The school bus will still run, but there are basically few people sitting. Today is the last day of the college entrance examination, and most of the children left with their parents.This is also good, I sit in a row of seats, and it is spacious.I thought of this to comfort myself, but in fact, as long as someone picks me up, even if I walk home, I will be very happy.

When I finally got home, I just put the key in the lock, and the door opened.Is Li Weiran here?I laughed all of a sudden, my mouth was so wide that I couldn't close it.He is my only consolation, as long as I see him, I feel that there is still hope in life.

"Yo~ Xiaochen, so happy. You did well in the exam!"

"Uncle Wu, why are you here?" I opened my eyes wide in surprise, and the smirk on my face has not faded away.It was Wu Feng from my father's department who opened the door for me.He has a close relationship with my dad. During the time of SARS, his son was quarantined with me, so I don’t know what’s going on now.