I don't just want to dream about you

When I woke up in the morning, it was still drizzling outside the window.There was no more noise from yesterday outside the house.It was as quiet as if I was the only one in the room.

The butler told me, Miss, you are 16 years old today, from now on you are the only owner of this room.

I knew early on that yesterday's boisterous birthday party was my father and mother celebrating getting rid of each other.

To be honest, I am happy for them from the bottom of my heart. When I think of the two of them who have endured each other in this room for so many years for me, I can't help but feel guilty.

Fathers have people that fathers like, and mothers have people that mothers like.They can finally find the person they like.

As their daughter, how can I not be happy for them?

Yes, I think I should be happy.But why can't I even lift my smile.

When my grandfather and grandfather heard about their departure from this house, they didn't express any thoughts. They just told me on the third day after my birthday that I was the sole heir of their two families, and they hoped that I could live a good life , inherit the family business well, and obey the arrangements of the family.

I know all of these. I have known since I was a child that my parents have completed the arrangement of my grandfather and grandfather very well.

So I can also complete their arrangements very well.

Before the first year of high school, the rainy season ended.It's been a long time since I saw Sunshine, and the butler has already taken care of all the admission procedures for me.

There was a dusty freshness in the air.This is the smell of the sun after the rain.I don't hate it.

As if my brain suddenly got stuck, I turned my head and looked at the old house. The old house under the sun still revealed a sense of depression and depression.

It took my parents most of their lives to escape from this old house, but how long will it take me?

My high school career has just begun, and there are already several couples in my class.The girl sitting in front of me held her face in her hands with envy.

She asked me, Shen Qinghan, what kind of boy do you like.

I don't know, after all, my liking is useless, as long as grandpa and grandpa like it, that's enough.

It's just that a seed sprouted in my heart, I asked myself again, Shen Qinghan, can you have someone you like?

I don't think I can have it myself. A person whose life is arranged early cannot escape.

Grandpa likes to watch me dance very much. According to the old housekeeper, my grandma was an excellent dancer before she passed away.

It's just that he died relatively early, and even his father hadn't seen his mother much.

I once saw my grandma in a photo album, she was gentle and beautiful, her eyes were full of aura.

The old housekeeper said that my grandma and I looked almost exactly the same when we were young.

So I also understand the reason why grandpa doesn't like me.No one likes a person who is similar to his lover.

Grandpa always looks down on grandpa in front of outsiders.

But only I know that when my grandfather is drunk, he will always say that his grandfather is stubborn, and he is afraid that no one will collect his body when he dies.

They are all stubborn old men, dull and serious, and they have ruined many people without knowing it.But in their eyes, they were always right.

On the day of the school celebration New Year's Day performance, the school invited many leaders, one of whom was preparing to make a city promotion video.

He invited me.

It was the first time in 17 years that I saw that there seemed to be a little different variables in my life.

My heart moved.

Grandpa was not happy when he found out. He was furious when he saw me dancing in the video.

Holding his crutch, he didn't hesitate to break my leg.

If a person wants to escape, he will still walk if his leg is broken.

That's what my grandma thought when she gave birth to my father.She should be a butterfly, and the splendid mountain flowers are her pursuit.

But grandpa didn't think so. The birth of father was just a bargaining chip for grandpa to control grandma.

Grandpa lost so thoroughly, he never imagined how much grandma, who had been under his control for a long time, longed for freedom.

Jumping from the [-]th floor in front of Grandpa, without any hesitation.

Grandpa heard that grandpa broke my leg, rushed over, and when he sent me to the hospital, he told me not to blame him.

Yes, grandpa hoped that I would not blame grandpa.They always do, supporting each other for what they think is right.

I'm a little sad, even if my legs recover, I can't dance anymore.

I don't like dancing, but dancing is the only thing I can do these years without being opposed.

Now, I'm lost.

Grandpa didn't want my legs to be cured, so he specifically told the doctor to order.Facing the doctor's sympathetic eyes, I just found it difficult to breathe.

Back to school again, my mentality has changed a lot.I want to escape this deformed and twisted family.

I was still limping when I walked, and I sat on the edge of the corner of the playground, unwilling to enter the classroom.

This is the rainy season, the rain is pattering down, I hang my head in a daze.

This kind of life is not what I want.

"Is there anything I can do for you"

A girl stood hesitantly in front of me, as if she had made up her mind, she gritted her teeth and took off her school uniform.

The rain blurred my eyes, and I couldn't even open them to take a closer look at the girl.

His legs were slapped by the rain, and there was a faint tingling pain.

She took off her school uniform to protect me from the rain.I watched her walk away, but finally said nothing.

It was still raining, but I felt a bit of warmth in the biting cold wind.

The girl who gave me the school uniform was Meng Yihuan, from Class [-] and [-] of Senior High.

Later, I washed her school uniform over and over again, and stopped at the door of her classroom, holding her soft school uniform in my hand, watching her smiling and playing with her deskmate.

An unknown feeling arose in my heart.

I suddenly didn't want to return the school uniform to her.Maybe I will never say a word to her in this life, maybe this school uniform is the only connection between us.

I don't want to sever the only link.

During those difficult and difficult days, I was often in the corner, looking at Meng Yihuan.She has all the qualities that would attract me.

I really like seeing her smile.

When I like someone, infinite courage will be born in my heart. I did not use this courage on her, but chose to change myself.

After the college entrance examination, I applied for the acting academy.

Grandpa was furious, and his eyes were full of accusations.

I didn't care, and even found it a little funny.

so what?Are you going to break my leg?Or do you want to take my life?

They eventually left, without any intention of making things difficult for me.It turns out that leaving the original family is such a simple matter?

I found out later that they gave everyone orders not to teach me anything.By the way, my source of income was cut off.

I don't care, the days of part-time work and part-study are not difficult for me.I seem to have gained a new life, and I have more secret thoughts in my heart.

Could it be that after leaving such a bad family, I will pursue the person I like.

The hands used to practice the piano can also be used to wash dishes, and they will become wrinkled after being soaked in dish soap for a long time.

The me in the mirror is more energetic. Although I am not as delicate as before and my fingers are a lot rougher, I don’t think it is sad.

People have hope, so they can run against the wind.

I saw Yihuan again on the day they took graduation photos.

I asked the teacher about the time and place early, and asked for leave to rush back.

People are often really complicated and strange.Across thousands of mountains and rivers, you can also like someone.

In the noisy crowd, I looked at her at a glance.

She seemed to be in a good mood, smiling brightly, holding her deskmate's shoulders and talking about something interesting, she raised her eyes and looked at me unintentionally, her eyes were clear and bright.

She doesn't need to know me or like me.

If I can do this, I stand not far away and look at her, and I feel that this is the worst thing.

I came here by catching the earliest high-speed train, and I didn't have time to eat breakfast or lunch, so I was groggy and passed out.

In a daze, I seemed to see Meng Yihuan striding towards me, and took off his school uniform to shield me from the sun.

My life gradually improved, and my grandparents passed away one after another in my junior year.It really answered my grandfather's words, there was no one to collect the corpse.

These two stubborn old men have been stubborn all their lives, and they have stubbornly left all the children.

It's just that I didn't expect that they made a will and left all their wealth to me.

I deliberately chose the adjacent cemetery for the two stubborn old men, and I was the only one present at the funeral.

I can hardly remember how many years I have not seen my father and mother.

Later, I started acting, and I had my own capital. The people in the crew were very kind to me. I knew that they didn't mean it sincerely. More or less, they just took a fancy to the interests behind me.

Over the years, I have secretly visited Yihuan many times, and she is always so happy.When I see her happy, I feel happy.

She has her own life and her own future, and it doesn't really matter whether I participate or not.

I hid my love in my heart, and I hid it for many years.

Even if there was a car accident, I only thought that it was just an illusion woven by the obsession in my heart.

The moment I said that favorite sentence, I seemed to be exhausted, and I no longer had the idea of ​​maintaining this illusion.

When I opened my eyes, I saw my parents.I haven't seen them for many years, and when I saw them a while ago, I still have an indescribable feeling in my heart.

They all have their families, and it's just that they feel a little guilty when they come to see me.

Real life is not the same as the dream world. I rubbed shoulders with Meng Yihuan while I was doing rehabilitation in the hospital. She didn't recognize me, and I had no reason to keep her.

I think maybe everything is just my imagination.I want to try again, to see if she will pay attention to me.

It’s really not good, let’s forget it...but how can I be reconciled...Those unspeakable feelings have turned into deep obsessions.

In the crowd, I watched her walk towards me, not fast, but very firm.

as before.

I suddenly remembered the post-it note I wrote.

Affection is connected, and it is a matter of course.

As long as it's you, it doesn't matter if the road is more difficult or bumpy.

The author has something to say: I finished this episode a long time ago, I made a little revision, and watched Shen Qinghan's mental journey, woooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo