Police Tom and Doctor Jerry

Because of drinking, Jiang Shengzhou found a substitute driver to drive the three of them home.When he got home, Jiang Nan took all the birthday presents Wang Heng had received upstairs.Wang Heng took off his shoes as quickly as possible, changed his clothes, and went straight to the living room, where he fell directly on the sofa.

Jiang Nan was startled when he saw the other party's actions, "Are you tired or not?" After speaking, he put all the presents back in the cloakroom upstairs, turned around and went back to the living room.

Wang Heng was lazily lying on the sofa, with his forearm bent and pressing his forehead, his elbows covering his eyes, "Aifei make me a pot of tea!"

Jiang Nan just walked to the sofa, and when he heard what the other party said, he was stunned for a few seconds, thinking, "Is this sick again?"

"Okay, let's make tea!" He went to the kitchen to boil water, and took out a small green orange from the tea bag under the kitchen cabinet.After a while, holding a pot of brewed tea and putting it on the coffee table in the living room, he poured a cup and handed it to Wang Heng.

"Your Majesty, the tea is here! The concubine serves you to drink tea!" Jiang Nan also stepped forward and began to switch roles automatically.

Wang Heng put down his arms, and moved his body sitting on the sofa towards the coffee table. Seeing this, Jiang Nan hurriedly reached out to help him, but the other party got up and muttered, "The candles in Xingqing Palace are not lit at all!"

After hearing this sentence, Jiang Nan was stunned, "Slot! Don't you know someone again?"

"Hengheng, who am I?" Jiang Nan pulled Wang Heng's arm, and waved his hand in front of Wang Heng's eyes.

Wang Heng squinted his eyes with no expression on his face. Hearing the other party's question, he looked at the other party carefully with a look of foolishness, "Aren't you my noble concubine? Is my concubine stupid to eat lychees? Let's eat carrots in the future! Save the race fee!"

Seeing Wang Heng like this, Jiang Nan was a little flustered. He hurriedly took out his mobile phone from his pocket and dialed Jiang Shengzhou.On the phone, the bell rang several times, and he desperately hoped that Jiang Shengzhou would answer the phone quickly.Fortunately, after waiting for a long time, the other party finally connected, "Brother, how much wine did my Heng Heng drink?"

"Not much! Two glasses of red wine, and two glasses of Feitian, what's the matter?" Jiang Shengzhou asked curiously on the opposite side.

"Slot! That's not much! He can pour three glasses of beer! He doesn't know me anymore! It's over! He's the emperor again!" Jiang Nan roared on the phone.

The other end of the phone was silent for a long while, only to hear the last words: "It can still be so neat! It's amazing! You can serve the emperor! If you need me, I'll go there again."

Jiangnan instantly felt like the sky was falling...

I saw the person on the sofa sitting upside down, half lying on the sofa, still urging, "Where is my tea? My concubine, where is my tea?"

Jiang Nan put down the phone and stroked his forehead, "Here we come! The concubine is here!" Holding a teacup, he sat down beside Wang Heng.When Wang Heng smelled the aroma of tea, he stretched his neck and came over.

Jiang Nan was already laughed out of anger, and said in his heart: "Drink too much, the nose is quite good." He fed the other party a few sips, and Wang Heng drank half of the glass, then pushed Jiang Nan's hand aside.

After drinking tea, Wang Heng sat on the sofa and looked at the void above the living room in a daze.Jiang Nan was at a loss for words and didn't know how to speak, so he waited for someone to give an order, and listened to his orders.

After being quiet for a few seconds, Wang Heng said: "My concubine, please sing "Neon Clothes and Feather Clothes Song" for me! Haven't listened to it for a long time?" With an aggrieved expression on his face, he said timidly: "The concubine's singing is not good, I'm afraid the emperor will dislike it."

Because of the alcohol, Wang Heng's speech slowed down obviously, as if he was recalling, but also seemed to be thinking.After listening to Jiang Nan's words, he sat quietly for a while, thought for a while and said, "Hmm! It's because I didn't sing well!"

Jiang Nan suddenly heard what the other party said, and said in his heart: there is someone else in his heart!For the sake of clichés, he said brazenly and coquettishly: "Who is Niannu? Your Majesty!"

"You mean Nian Nu?" Wang Heng lowered his head and thought for a while.

"Niannu looks coquettish and beautiful, with charming eyebrows and eyes. When he sings, his voice seems to be above the morning glow. Even the noise of bells, drums, and shengyu can't cover it." After speaking, there was still a look of nostalgia in his face and eyes.

The more Jiang Nan listened, the more angry he became. Although the other party drank too much, he couldn't escape the curse of "telling the truth after drinking".Does Wang Heng have other women in reality?Two boats?After thinking like this for a while, he then denied these thoughts again, "No, Wang Heng is just waiting for him to like it. It is impossible to like others." He turned several turns in his mind, thought for a long time, but didn't touch Clear your head.

"Anyway, I have to check carefully when I turn back, and I still want to stare at the things in his bowl, but there is no way." Jiang Nan said viciously in his heart.

He felt that Wang Heng should be coaxed to sleep first, and he might have some problems that he couldn't cope with in a while, so he simply said: "Your Majesty, my concubine will wait for you to go to bed!"

"I haven't heard the song yet!" Wang Heng said stubbornly, leaning on the sofa, with confusion in his eyes.

"I still haven't forgotten this for a long time!" Jiang Nan was helpless by someone's obsession, and thought for a long time, "Your Majesty, can the concubine sing for you?"

"Well, let's sing it!" Wang Heng waved his hand, signaling Jiangnan to sing quickly.

He was completely speechless, not only was he servile, he also had to be a singing actor.Others would be poor at most once they returned to the pre-liberation period, but he was directly enslaved once he returned to the feudal society.

I didn't have time to think about it too much, and the real thing was to finish singing and put Wang Heng to sleep.Sitting next to someone, Jiangnan raised his hand to touch someone's face, and stared into the other person's eyes. Jiangnan couldn't bear to look at him like this, "How can I sing casually, this is singing for my baby!" Then he said deeply Glancing deeply at the other party, he kissed the corner of the other party's lips, "Although you occasionally pierce my heart, I still love you, Hengheng. I told you last night that you will never know how much I love you! Yes Really! Hengheng, you will never know how much I love you!"

He pondered for a long time and sang a soft song "A Plot With You" to Wang Heng. Wang Heng's skin was originally fair, but now it was reddish, his eyes were black, and the water rippled like a deep dark pool.Jiang Nan didn't know how much he heard and understood.

"Your Majesty, how about this one?" Jiang Nan asked cautiously.

"Hmm! Much better than last time." Wang Heng said.

Hearing what the other party said, Jiang Nan's heart that was hanging in the air finally returned to his stomach.

After a while, Wang Heng opened his mouth again, "Let's do another dance for me!" He stared at Jiangnan and said, his expression was extremely serious and majestic.Jiang Nan felt that as long as he refused, he would be killed immediately.

He didn't know how to respond. He had to be cautious in everything he did now. At this moment, he truly experienced what it meant to be trembling and walking on thin ice.Although he was not yet trembling, he was sweating a lot.

He bowed his head and thought hard for a few seconds, thinking about how to speak, not only to not annoy the other party, but also to pass this level.He pondered over and over in his head, and finally said with a trembling voice: "Your Majesty, my concubine can't dance well! The last time the emperor was assassinated, my concubine didn't practice for a long time, and some of my concubines forgot some steps." Choked up a few times, Jiang Nan wished that he would remember what happened last time, so that he could play some bitterness cards.

Wang Heng sat on the sofa without moving, his black eyes rolled, he seemed to think for a while, and then said after a while: "It's okay, you help me up, I will teach you once!"

Jiang Nan was stunned, "Wang Heng can still dance? Why doesn't he know about this?"

He pinched his own face vigorously, "Tao! It hurts!" Then he thought again, "Tao! You can't miss this good opportunity! Yes! Mobile phone! Leave evidence! You can't just cheat me!" He took out his mobile phone from his pocket, turned on the video recording on the mobile phone, reached out his hand around Wang Heng's back, and secretly placed it between the gaps between the two sofa cushions to prevent Wang Heng from finding out.

Wang Heng drank too much, he didn't notice these small details at all, he was still stretching his arms, waiting eagerly for the imperial concubine to come to help him!Seeing that he was still holding his arms, Jiangnan hurried over to support him carefully, for fear that there would be another moth.

I saw Wang Heng wearing white home clothes, walked to the middle of the living room, and stopped, and Jiang Nan also stopped. "Look carefully!" Wang Heng said seriously.

I saw the curved arms whirled around, the toes tapped lightly, dancing green lotus, sometimes soft as boneless, sometimes ready to go, arms stretched like a swan, body soaring, willow waist like a strong bamboo in the wind, dark The pupils are even brighter like stars.

Jiangnan had never seen such a scene before. He folded his hands and covered his mouth in an instant, fearing that he would cry out, and exclaimed in his heart: "Oh! My darling! It turns out that my Hengheng can really dance! This dance is also very good. So fucking handsome!"

Seeing Wang Heng finished dancing, Jiang Nan was startled, "It's over! I'm going to the execution ground."

Wang Heng walked over with a normal expression, "Aifei, how is it? Have you met?"

Jiang Nan walked over tremblingly, lowered his eyebrows and said pleasantly: "I think about it, but I'm not familiar with it yet!" Wang Heng sighed deeply, "I'll take you to dance again!"

Jiang Nan was stunned: "There is such a good thing!"

At this moment, it was as if his heart was hanging on the flagpole, and it never came down.At this time, after hearing Wang Heng finished speaking, he was finally able to put it back, he took a deep breath, raised his arm and handed a hand to Wang Heng.Wang Heng didn't know whether it was because he drank too much, or because he caught up on sleep in the afternoon, but he was very energetic, and even led Jiang Nan to dance twice.

For the first time, Jiangnan followed Wang Heng and spun and jumped, and he was already stunned.The whole person was dizzy and dizzy.It's like having a galaxy in my head, full of shining stars.He had stepped on himself several times, but at this time he absolutely did not dare to step on the emperor's foot, if he did, he would be killed, and it would be dangerous to use a kitchen knife in the kitchen, so he would rather step on his own foot.

Jiang Nan at least knows some boxing skills, which he learned when he was in school at the OUHK, and he usually does boxing occasionally.I'm not slow to learn things, I found some routines in the second pass, and at least I kept up with it, and my feet didn't suffer much.

After dancing twice, it is estimated that Wang Heng was also tired, so he sat back on the sofa and leaned against the sofa cushions.It was only then that Jiangnan remembered that the video hadn't been turned off yet, and Wang Heng had already forgotten about it, "It's over! I recorded it myself! Slot!" Thinking of this, he hurried to the sofa, and secretly reached out to hold Wang Heng's hand while Wang Heng was not paying attention. Video is off.

Wang Heng lay on the sofa for a while, then he got up suddenly and ran to the study.Seeing him get up, Jiang Nan became nervous, "Your Majesty, are you going to...?"

"Prepare pens, ink, paper, and inkstone!" Wang Heng said.

Jiang Nan was stunned after hearing this, and then ran into the study, "How much paper do you want?" Jiang Nan asked.

Wang Heng was stunned for a moment, "Seven feet or eight feet." Jiang Nan listened, reacted for a while, and rummaged under the bookcase for a long time, but couldn't figure out which one was seven feet and which was eight feet, so he simply took the largest size .

Seeing the size of the paper, Jiang Nan was speechless, because the length of the paper was higher than others, and he began to wonder if Wang Heng would stay up all night.

When Wang Heng saw the rice paper that Jiangnan was holding, he hesitated for a while, and said, "The size is too big, fold it in half according to the long side and cut it." Jiangnan turned around and went to the cabinet to get a paper knife, spread the paper on the floor, and began to cut the paper.

After cutting, he unfolded it for the other party to have a look at. Wang Heng looked at it and said, "Cut another foot in length." Jiang Nan had already been dizzy by the other party's command, thought about the length of the ruler, picked up the paper knife, and bent down He started cutting again, and handed it over with both hands after cutting.Seeing that Wang Heng didn't say anything, he spread the rice paper on the table.

"Pen, the small one."

Jiang Nan quickly took the smallest brush from the brush holder and handed it over with both hands.

Jiang Nan didn't wait for Wang Heng to refill the ink, and took the initiative to bring a bottle of ink to fill up the inkstone.He helped to spread out the rice paper, then pressed it with a ruler, and then stood aside and waited.Seeing this, Wang Heng said: "My concubine, let's go out first! I'll call you after I finish writing!"

Jiang Nan took the amnesty, quickly invited Ann, and withdrew.In fact, I wanted to run away, "I'm so fucking nervous!"

He had long forgotten that Wang Heng was his wife. He felt that he was Gao Lishi now, and he was afraid that Wang Heng would push him to the Meridian Gate with a "click" when he got excited!

When he left the study, his legs were limp, and his feet were still swollen from dancing just now!He quickly wiped the sweat from his forehead. "This is serving the emperor! Accompanying a king is like accompanying a tiger, and you can't stay with a tiger! I really understand what it means to let the meat on the chopping board be slaughtered. I have been a policeman for so many years, and the arrest has never been so tense."

"Trough! I'm going to die! My Hengheng is crazy!"

He cursed, hurried down the stairs, went back to the first floor, ran to the living room, picked up the teapot, and took a few sips of herbal tea. The herbal tea went down the esophagus, and the coldness spread all the way to the whole body, soaking every cell in the body , Feeling the speed of the heartbeat slow down slowly, he exhaled a few times, muttering in his mouth, "I'm going to die!"

He took out his mobile phone and quickly sent Jiang Shengzhou a WeChat message, "If I don't call tomorrow morning, come quickly to collect the body!"

Jiang Shengzhou was still asleep, so he replied with a "?".

Jiangnan: My family Hengheng is crazy, I am afraid that I will be "clicked" if I do not serve well at night!

Jiang Shengzhou made a "sweaty" expression.Then he said: "I'll find you tomorrow morning, and then we'll go to the boxing gym." Jiang Nan replied "Okay! Bring breakfast by the way!" Jiang Shengzhou replied with a "contemptuous" expression.

Seeing that Wang Heng didn't call him, Jiang Nan simply went to the bathroom to take a shower, which was very careful and thorough.He was worried that he would have to serve for a while, in case his head was beheaded because of lack of preparation, the gain would outweigh the loss.Everything he does now has to be prepared in case something happens.

After taking a shower, he went to the living room to lie down on the sofa for a while. After all, he was exhausted and had danced twice, and most of his physical strength had already been lost.He squinted for a while, but didn't dare to sleep, for fear that Wang Heng would call him suddenly, but he couldn't stop his drowsiness, and fell asleep after a while.

After an unknown amount of time, he felt someone patting him, and when he opened his eyes again, Wang Heng was already standing in front of him.

"I have called you eight times! I found out that besides eating lychees, you only have the advantage of sleeping!" After speaking, he flicked his sleeves angrily, put one hand behind his waist, and went upstairs.

Seeing that Wang Heng was angry, Jiang Nan immediately turned over, pulled on the slippers extremely quickly, and followed up staggeringly.

"Your Majesty, this concubine didn't fall asleep on purpose. Look! Concubine danced twice just now, and she was a little tired. She wanted to see the emperor's masterpiece, but she accidentally fell asleep."

In a blink of an eye, Wang Heng entered the study and sat down on the sofa opposite the desk.Jiang Nan leaned closer to the table and looked, and saw that the two-meter-long rice paper was densely written on it. At the beginning of the title, there were three characters "Ode to the Wagtail", and the whole article consisted of 316 lines, with 7 to 8 characters in each line. Rich and plump, the pen is strong and powerful, rich and lush, signed but not stamped yet.

It's okay not to talk about Zhang, but when I mentioned Zhang, I only heard Wang Heng say, "Where did my Zhang go?"

Jiang Nan was studying Wang Heng's works. Hearing this sentence, his heart completely fell from the top of the flagpole and hit the ground directly. "Trough! Yuxi, where can I find it? It's over! It's over! It's over!"

He was as anxious as an ant on a hot pot, rubbing his hands together for a long time, thinking about it, thinking about it for a long time, he could only use the tactic of delaying the attack.He stepped forward cautiously and asked: "Your Majesty, it's late today, and I will find my concubine for you tomorrow morning, do you think it's okay?"

Wang Heng was on the night shift, didn't catch up much sleep during the day, and spent most of the night tossing, probably really tired, but he didn't refute, just listening to the other party say: "Well, okay! I'm tired too, help me to sleep! "

As soon as the other party's voice fell, Jiang Nan's heart completely returned to his stomach, not like fifteen buckets hanging up and down, nor a red lantern hanging in mid-air with will-o'-the-wisps.

He sighed, and his mood suddenly felt extremely comfortable.Seeing him slowing down and dawdling, Wang Heng urged, "What are you dawdling about! Come and help me!"

Jiang Nan followed up very respectfully, "The concubine is here!"

Back in the bedroom, Jiangnan went directly to the window and closed the curtains, only turned on the bedside lamp, and helped Wang Heng into bed.After Wang Heng was settled first, he lifted the quilt and got in. "Tao, I'm finally lying in bed, I'm so exhausted!" Jiang Nan repeated in his heart.

Jiang Nan was beautiful in his heart, and saw Wang Heng's hand on his waist, "My concubine, get closer to me! I'm a bit cold!" Jiang Nan moved in obediently, and stuck it up, saying in his heart, "I'm afraid of the cold. The problem is the same."

After thinking about it: "Isn't it true that I have to wait on the bed? And there are sex scenes?" Thinking of this, Jiang Nan turned over, couldn't sleep, and began to feel uneasy.

"What's Aifei thinking?" Wang Heng asked in a daze.

Jiang Nan stammered, "That... that is served by a concubine? Your Majesty!"

After a long while, Wang Heng said, "Don't tell me, my concubine, I forgot! Thankfully, concubine Ai reminded me!" Jiang Nan slapped himself on the face when he heard it, "I'm telling you to talk! This is really digging a hole and burying yourself. It’s still a deep well pit, the kind you can’t climb out of.”

Jiang Nan's mind was wandering all over the world, and he saw that Wang Heng had turned over and pressed him up, with the smell of tea in his mouth, before Jiang Nan could react, he covered his lips, with the fragrance of ink on his whole body.The smell of tea and ink mixed together made Jiangnan dizzy, and he was smugly kissed by the other party. Wang Heng's hands were strong, and he kneaded him, and his miscellaneous thoughts were thrown away for nine days. In my mind, only the seven characters of "Furong Tent Warming the Spring Festival" written by Wang Heng are left...

……

In the early morning of the next day, Jiang Shengzhou knew that the two of Jiangnan couldn't get up too early, so he went out to buy breakfast at nine o'clock. The two were not far away. After driving for more than ten minutes, he took the car keys, hummed a little song, and entered the elevator car. Pressed the floor of Jiangnan's house.After panting, the elevator stopped with a "ding".

Jiang Shengzhou thought about it, this point has almost started, let alone going out to play today.Who knew that he knocked on the door for a long time and rang the doorbell for a long time, but there was no movement inside.He took out his cell phone and dialed it without hesitation. "What are you doing? Haven't gotten up yet?"

I just heard Jiang Nan say from the opposite side, "The emperor is not here early, why should I get up as a concubine?"

Jiang Shengzhou was choked speechless by this sudden sentence, and at last he said, tongue-tied, "...then...do you still have breakfast?"

"Eat!" Jiang Nan immediately replied from the opposite side.

Jiang Shengzhou waited for more than ten minutes before opening the door. "You open the door for too long. I can get home by car." Jiang Shengzhou took a closer look at Jiangnan, only to see that the other party's hair was disheveled, his eyes were squinted, and he had two big dark circles under his eyes. He was swaying around, Like a wandering soul, "Why are you so trapped?"

"You watch TV for a while, I'll go upstairs to catch up on sleep!" Jiang Nan turned and went upstairs.

Jiang Shengzhou was taken aback by his brother's reaction, changed his slippers, put breakfast on the dining table, went to the living room alone, found a comfortable position on the sofa, picked up a random program with the remote control, and watched it for a while .He was completely confused by the behavior of these two people, and the show was boring. Soon, he lay on the sofa to catch up on it.

It was already 10:30 when Wang Heng got up, with sleepy eyes, and went downstairs in a daze. Halfway up the stairs, he saw a person lying on the sofa with his head covered.Wang Heng is short-sighted. Although the degree is not high, the stairs are still a long way from the living room, and there is a hollow partition in the middle.Standing on the stairs and looking at the people in the living room from this angle, he could only see their outlines, let alone their heads and faces.From a distance, one can only see a person lying on the sofa.

Don't look at Wang Heng's usual work and dealing with people are as stable as Mount Tai.In fact, people are very timid, and they are afraid of dogs and mice. When they see dogs, they can only watch from a distance, and when they see mice, they jump and run.At this time, let alone meet a thief who broke into the house.When he saw someone lying on the sofa, he was frightened out of his wits, and he yelled out "Aww", his legs and feet were limp, like a shrimp with soft feet, and in a hurry, he turned around and ran upstairs, panicked. I stumbled on the stairs, then got up in a hurry, and ran to the bedroom to find Jiangnan.

"Brother Nan! Husband! It's not good! A thief has broken into our house!" Wang Heng pushed open the bedroom door, regardless of whether Jiang Nan was sleeping or not, and directly pulled Jiang Nan out of the bed.

Jiang Nan was sleeping soundly, and when he was suddenly pulled by someone, Wang Heng's hands were so strong that he was almost lifted up, and then he heard Wang Heng shouting "the thief has entered", his brain immediately woke up, and he cursed directly. He said, "Damn it, the thief dared to enter the policeman's house! The door was broken!" He quickly got up, put on his slippers, and took Wang Heng downstairs without caring about the aches and pains all over his body.

The author has something to say: Laughter Theater

birthday night wechat group

Han Chen: Call Wang Heng, why can't the birthday party be contacted?

Jiang Shengzhou: When the emperor went up...[Reluctantly]

Han Chen: ... [Surprised] ... Why don't you, Chen Xuanli, go?

Jiang Shengzhou: It's the noble concubine's turn to serve...

Han Chen: ……………