God doesn't want me to be human

Lu Jia opened his eyes.

The goal is the snow-white ceiling, and the tip of the nose is the smell of hospital disinfectant.

He stared blankly at the ceiling.

Suddenly, tears rolled down his eyes.

He raised his hand to wipe it clean, but he couldn't.

His heart was empty.

Empty heart began to ache.

He seems to have had a long dream.

A sad and long dream.

There were more and more tears, and I couldn't stop them.Lu Jia couldn't help covering his eyes with his hands, hoping to stop the tears, but the moment he covered his eyes with his hands, he cried out.

When he woke up, he couldn't help crying bitterly.

"what--"

He heard himself like a trapped animal.

Why cry?

Why so sad?

why sad?

he does not know.

He bowed his body, covered his eyes, and wept bitterly.

He was drowned by the deep sea of ​​sorrow, his lungs were filled with sea water of sorrow, and the consciousness of his brain was strangled bit by bit.

He is dying in grief.

"Jiajia? Jiajia?! Jiajia, what's the matter with you?!" A familiar person hugged him, and an anxious female voice urged, "Old Lu, hurry up and get a doctor! Hurry up!"

"Look at Jiajia first, I'll call the doctor!" The hurried footsteps hurried away.

Soon, more footsteps came.

"Doctor! Doctor! Take a look at my son, he doesn't know what's wrong." The person holding him was anxious.

Lu Jia was immersed in sadness.

I can't hear you.

Can't see it anymore.

The outside world has nothing to do with him.

He was in the deep sea of ​​sorrow, falling, falling.

A month later.

In the psychological consultation room, Lu Jia sat quietly, holding a glass of warm water.

He looked very thin, and the knuckles of the hand holding the cup were obvious, so fragile that it seemed to break if it was folded.

"You still can't remember why you are so sad?" the psychiatrist asked gently.

Lu Jia quietly looked down at the cup of warm water in her hand.

"Lu Jia, would you like to talk about your dream again?" the psychiatrist asked.

Lu Jia trembled and raised his head.

"I don't remember. I just remember being sad."

After the psychological consultation, Lu Jia walked out of the consultation room and saw Mother Lu waiting outside.

"Mom." Lu Jia greeted with a smile.

If only he wasn't so skinny.

Mother Lu looked at him with a smile on her worried face.

When communicating with the family members, the psychiatrist said to Lu's mother, "Lu Jia still feels that everything is because of that dream."

"But dreams are just an unconscious combination of information after sleep."

"There will be countless dreams in one night, and the impact on people will not be so profound."

"So it tends to be post-traumatic stress disorder. Maybe something happened to him that was very painful, so the brain automatically forgot for self-protection."

"The current sadness, depression, and loss of appetite may be..."

The psychiatrist looked at Lu's mother and said.

"It may be that what happened is more serious than we thought, and it has already caused great psychological trauma to Lu Jia."

"Treatment can take a long time. Hope you are prepared, too."

After returning home.

When Lu Jia walked back to the room, looking at Lu Jia's thin back, Mother Lu couldn't help but secretly wiped her tears.

night.

Lu Jia stayed in the bathroom, holding Papa Lu's razor, looking at the wrist pressed against the razor.The sharp razor was pressed against the thin wrist, and with a slight tremor, the capillary was cut, and one or two extremely fine drops of blood leaked out.

Lu Jia looked at the tiny drop of blood.

do not know why.

He always felt that he should die.

Whenever a person is alone, the voice in the bottom of my heart becomes clearer and clearer:

He should die.

Lu Jia didn't know why he thought so, but he knew it was wrong.

He also had dear parents, who would be very sad if he died.

Lu Jia rinsed the razor with water and put it away.

Can't die.

Walking to the shower area, Lu Jia turned on the shower, closed his eyes, and the warm water made him wet.

After washing, Lu Jia dried her hair, stood in front of the room window, and looked up at the dark night sky.

He looked at the dark sky, as if he wanted to see through the sky and see something that didn't belong to this world.

What are you looking at?

Lu Jia didn't know either.

It's like that unremembered dream.

All he knew was that his heart was empty.

Like a lonely traveler who has drifted in the dark universe for too long, lost something.

With a sense of loss, he doesn't remember.

Time passed slowly, and soon it was the day when the university started.

Because Lu Jia fainted after leaving the examination room after the college entrance examination, waking up was particularly worrying, so he volunteered to fill in the local university under the worry of Lu's father and mother.

On the first day of school, Lu's father and Lu's mother woke up very early to check whether there were any omissions in the various things prepared for Lu Jia.

"Jiajia, you can make more friends when you go to college. How nice it is for young people to hang out together." Mother Lu reminded.

Lu Jia nodded.

"Jiajia, Dad gave your bank card a pocket money, you can buy whatever you want, don't save." Dad Lu said.

Lu Jia nodded.

It was almost time, and the family set off.

Father Lu drove mother Lu and Lu Jia to report to the university.

Freshmen enroll, the entrance of the university is very lively, and students drag their suitcases into the campus.

After parking the car, Lu's father took care of most of the luggage by himself, and Lu's mother took the small part of the luggage without letting Lu Jia take it.

Lu Jia tried to take it by himself, but after being rejected, he took on the task that Lu's mother entrusted to him——reading the freshman handbook to lead the way.

Looking at the even thinner back of Lu Jia leading the way, Lu's mother couldn't help but her eyes were red, especially after comparing with the lively freshmen around her.

After walking not far, Lu Jia suddenly stopped.

Lu's mother was a little strange, and followed his line of sight to look into the distance.

A group of college students gathered together, exclaiming and praising from time to time.

"What role are you cosplaying? You're so handsome!"

"Handsome, can I take a photo?"

"I have a friend who wants to ask about your WeChat."

Lu Jia looked at the people surrounded by the crowd, at His long golden hair, honey-colored eyes, and handsome face.

Standing there, He is synonymous with beauty and the center of the world.

Noticing Lu Jia's gaze, His honey-colored eyes looked over.

The eyes of the two passed through the crowd and met.

clack.

Lu Jia didn't know why he was crying.

With tears in his eyes, he walked through the crowd and walked in front of him.

"Lu Jia."

He hugged Lu Jia into his arms.

Lu Jia hugged him back, buried him in his arms and wept bitterly.

"I found you."

Like the sound of flowers blooming in the middle of the night.

The graceful hand gently lifted Lu Jia's face, and he kissed him lightly.

"My Lu Jia."

He hugged the weeping boy.

"we will be together forever."

He promises.

An invisible thread connects them firmly.

They will be together forever.

forever.