Plan carefully

The author has something to say: Described from Mu Yu's perspective, please imagine that the situation is similar to that one day after the two of them came to Mu Yu's home, a certain Hua chatted with him and asked, "Tell me about how you fell in love with An Ran." .” Then Mu Yu said simply.An Ran is not at the scene, he is probably... sleeping...

After the wind and rain, the plain running account is like a memory.

I don't know how An Ran came into my life. When I found out, I couldn't do without him.

At that time, I was not familiar with him, but only met him twice, one of which he did not remember.I work for Boss Jin, and opening an account in their bank is also Boss Jin’s idea, so when I saw An Ran at the counter through the bulletproof glass, I just thought it was a coincidence, never thought that he would become an indispensable person in my life in the future missing person.At that time, I had no money. Apart from sending money to my family, I would not go to the bank if I had nothing to do.It’s just that every time I see An Ran, he is very enthusiastic, talking and laughing. In fact, I am not used to this kind of kindness, and even feel abrupt, but his smile is so bright and brilliant, which warms people’s hearts. Therefore, even though Even if there is a branch of their bank near the place where I work, I am still willing to walk a little bit longer to come here in Anran.

An Ran looks very clever, but sometimes he doesn't know what's going on in his head.That time, in order to give me a cup, he opened a card for me and deposited 2000 yuan. He gave me the card before I got the money back. He had only known me for a few days, so he was not afraid that I would take the money and run away.Trusting others so easily, I am really afraid that he will be deceived in the future.

He asked me if I was embarrassed to receive the cup and I said no, I just didn't understand.He sighed and said, "Can you stop acting innocent and shy when you're okay, it's so misleading!" ', I didn't mean to, I just did.

An Ran always said that if he hadn't approached me with a stern face back then, we wouldn't have been able to get together at all.It should be, I don't take the initiative to get close to anyone with my personality, and it's probably his credit that I can gradually get acquainted with him.I just helped him repair a car, and he not only gave me a water bottle, but also hurt his hand while helping me transport materials.A few of his fingers were cut that time. If it were me, it really wasn’t that serious. But that person looked like he was pampered and never suffered. Moreover, he had to type the keyboard for his job. His right hand was probably injured. will delay work.I kept thinking about it, it wasn't a big deal, but I just couldn't let it go, and in the end I took over the work from Yang Xiaofei and asked him to run to the bank for me to make sure that An Ran was fine.

I've never been a cheerful person, and I don't have that much to say to others.I am used to all kinds of indifference, and I feel uneasy about the sudden warmth, because it seems that such a good thing is not something I can meet.Occasionally, I would also be in a trance. Facing such an active and cheerful An Ran, I would suddenly want to say something to him. Even though we didn't have a heart-to-heart at that time, I intuitively felt that he would listen to what I said.So I told something about my past that I had never told anyone before, and he listened and told me 'it will get better'.He's nice, isn't he, happy and kind.

The first time I invited him to dinner, I was afraid that it would be too cold, so I called Yang Xiaofei, but it turned out that there was no need for it, An Ran was lively enough by herself, talking non-stop, eating and drinking without being pretentious at all.In the end, he proudly said that he was handsome, and I realized that he was really good-looking.

However, An Ran said that I remember that these are not the main point, the important point is that he threw himself on me for the first time that day, and asked me how I felt, and I felt that he was quite thin.

At that time, I was a little envious of An Ran, thinking that he must be having a very happy life.Every time I see him, he smiles brightly and chats with me like a good buddy.Yang Xiaofei said that An Ran called it self-familiarity, and An Ran called it a close relationship.In fact, it's not that close. In my heart, An Ran and I are too far apart, and it's very difficult to be friends. There is a saying here in L City: Being in a rush is not a business, and I don't think it's in a rush to An Ran.An Ran said it was because he was chasing me.

It's not a question of whether you can't get in, it's just that the living environment is too different.For example, once he told me that their indoor air quality was poor, and the heating was turned on too high, and they would feel dizzy and hypoxic after staying for a long time. Are you uncomfortable?Compared with being humiliated by the foreman and having his wages deducted, his unnamed criticism from the leader seems to be nothing to be depressed about.

It was fragile at first, and then it was slowly worn away, the skin was worn off, blood was drawn out, and the blood formed a scab, and finally healed and turned into a cocoon. The cocoon became thicker and thicker, thick enough to isolate pain and become a kind of protection.Finally, I am no longer sensitive, and finally I am ignorant of pain below a certain level.It's not that I think he's squeamish, on the contrary, I hope he never understands this feeling.He looked surprised, which was fine.

That time when I came back from a fight in my hometown because of my father's grave relocation, I never expected that An Ran would look for me.I always remember his anger when he said "Please take pity on me" at KFC; I always remember his expression when he opened my palm and saw the blood bubbles on both hands, his eyes were full of surprise and pain, as if it was such a terrible injury; And when he put the ice cube in the corner of my mouth, his eyes rolled around and didn't know where to look... The ice cube was cold and hard, but his hands were warm and soft... I can forget that I was at home Those few nights, the dim moonlight, the hard red brick road, the wilderness alone, the layer of ice on the clothes and hair... But I can't forget his comfort, even if it is of no practical use, at least one In an instant, I felt that he was hurting with me.

That's probably where the first impressions started.

The reason why I went to the car wash next to the bank after the construction site was shut down was that there was some safety factor in my subconscious mind, and I would have the opportunity to see him often when I was close to him.During the days when An Ran was not at work, I ran into some problems when I went to do business, and then I realized that he was the one who took care of me quietly and took no trouble... The next day at the car wash, I went to deliver the car keys to Sister Cao. Catch An Ran throwing a tantrum in their lobby.What he said really made me uncomfortable.But in order to explain to me, he was hit by a car, and he refused to go to the hospital but limped along with me, whispering all the way, looking up at me from time to time, with a cautious expression... he There is his reason, that is the rule of his life, there is no need to explain it to me, let alone be so concerned about my feelings... So I realized in my heart that we just met by chance, but we are not the same way after all.This realization, I have to say, was frustrating.

Later, I got along with each other simply. At that time, I thought, it's not a lifetime, it doesn't matter if I'm not from the same way, just be an ordinary friend.I originally planned to do so, but later found that it was completely impossible.Every time I see him, the joy and satisfaction in his eyes make me feel expected. I am not sure that the joy is because of me, but I am attracted by the warmth and enthusiasm in it.He has always treated me so well, and even got better and better. He approached me laughingly. It felt like a friend's loyalty but with a different kind of gentleness. I was a little confused, but I didn't want to refuse no matter what.

He always sends me things, sweaters, hand cream... Speaking of hand cream, it is too much for me, but I am very grateful to him for his kindness.

He, since then, I've been quite the philanderer.Hand cream made my own hand, and even painted mine all over; praises his delicate hands and makes me anxious; a person who obviously needs everything can be coaxed to smile with a piece of candy... puffed cheeks, squinted The eyes are cute and silly like a child.When the power went out, I told him not to move, but he wouldn't listen, my arm was in his chest when I fell.His body is thin, I was really nervous, for fear of hurting him, I didn't think about it at the time, I groped and hugged him...I can't explain the feeling, I have never seen him so gentle, with his arms around me, head Leaning against my neck, my lips are attached to the skin, soft and slightly moist.At that time, I was a little panicked.He called my name in a low voice, brushed his lips over my neck, it was warm, and then he panicked even more.The most frightening thing was that, trembling in my heart, I actually wanted to hug him for a while longer.He's the only one I don't mind drinking from my glass, and that closeness is special to me, kind of weird, yet haunting.

However, no matter what kind of friend I have, I just think that An Ran is good to others, and I don't want to seek anything from him.So, he gave me this and that when he had nothing to do, I was a little disgusted.I also know that he is kind, but I simply don't like this way of communication between us.Once An Ran gave me something again, so I told him what I thought.In the end, I didn't know which sentence was wrong, and somehow made him anxious.I've never seen him so angry. Although I don't think I'm at fault, the sadness on his face makes me reluctant to insist on anything.An Ran looked thin, but when she got anxious, she was very aggressive, and walked away without being able to stop her.When I managed to hold him in my arms, I found that he was trembling all over, and I could clearly feel it through the thick down jacket. I couldn't figure out why he was so angry, I just felt that my heart was covered by him. It hurts to shake.

In the end, he still left, and since that day, he ignored me, whether I went to change change, send money, or asked Accountant Li to help me try clothes, he would not look at me, nor should I speak to him.With my personality, I could only do this at that time. Even if I feel very reluctant, even if I feel uncomfortable as if there is a missing piece in my heart, even if I want to get back that warm and fresh feeling, I will not force it.Those intimacy can only be regarded as an illusion, and they originally wanted to be friends who nodded, but now, nodding is unnecessary.

I was running a fever when I saw Enron again.The day before, I went to the station to buy a ticket to go home. I queued up in the middle of the night, but I couldn't get the ticket, and I got sick from the cold.

No matter how An Ran got the news, as long as he comes back.

My thinking is that no matter what he says, I listen to him and can't get mad at him anymore.He looked at me obediently drinking the porridge he bought, and his eyes almost fell out of shock. If it wasn't for fear that he would get angry, I would have asked him if he didn't want me to drink it.I don't quite understand why I coaxed him to follow him, why I gave in so willingly, why the branches of joy began to grow quietly when I saw him, and finally when he gently pressed his forehead to mine. For a moment, frantically blooming the happiness of the world?

He's not an optional friend, he's someone who makes me want to be closer.

I held his cold hand and asked him why he was so kind to me, but when he replied that he liked me, his face blushed layer by layer; I laughed at his childish temper, and he relentlessly quarreled with me; I gave him cold medicine, and he drank it without thinking about it; he bit my half-eaten grape, but he was happy as if he had taken advantage of it...Because of my personality, since I was a child, no one has ever quarreled with me like this , even Xiao Xi would not be so unrestrained, but An Ran... An Ran is not, he is friendly with me, and also loses his temper with me, and if he says kind words, he will even hurt and scold him, he is such a person, Open teeth and claws, in fact, it is very smooth.

Later, An Ran told me that he hadn't dared to be presumptuous at that time, and the original words were: he was still in a hurry.I can also feel that when I come back from home after the Spring Festival, he is even more out of control.On the night when I came back, he lost his temper because I didn't take the initiative to tell him about the injury at home. I understand that he is not angry with me, he just loves me.And I rushed back overnight, on the one hand because of the situation at home, on the other hand because I suddenly missed him.So I called to tell him that I was back, and he ran over quickly, and hugged me as soon as he entered the door, saying that he wanted to kill me, but I just hugged him and listened to him, and my whole heart warmed up.

During those days he was still making trouble with me.He clicked the evaluator twice and gave me an MP3, and said that it was Sister Cao, I'm not that easy to fool, right?In fact, I am so used to his kindness that I take it for granted.The first time I went to his dormitory and was teased by him in a mischievous way. When he kissed me on the face like that, I was shocked, but I couldn’t get angry at all. I was more annoyed. What he said was evened out, but I Obviously it was a loss, I regretted why I didn't kiss back at that time, and the more I thought about it, the more I felt that I should kiss back.

I didn't sleep all night, looking at the roof and thinking about An Ran's appearance, obedient, tossing, sensible, stupid... All kinds of An Ran filled my head.I forgot when I put him in my heart, he became a person who can walk around in my heart with all the warmth.I acquiesce and even look forward to his ambiguity, allowing one kind of emotion to grow day and night in the name of another kind of emotion, just like sargassum and laurel, although the branches and leaves are very similar, they are different after all... I can't convince He is a good buddy himself, I think, I fell in love with him.

It was very depressed.I think that An Ran is also a man, even though he started a quarrel and talked about everything, I still didn't dare to take the risk, for fear that he would ignore me.I couldn't live without him, long ago.

Fortunately, I am used to being ambiguous, so I can still treat him quietly, so I should be able to hide it from him.Just a little tormented.

Hearing what Yang Xiaofei said, he insisted on asking me about the cups; he asked me if I fell in love with him after getting a few cards for him; buying him a birthday present and asking me to be his wife... I don't know what to do. How can I tell the truth as a lie? I can only pretend to be calm while screaming in my heart, yes, I just fell in love with you. What about you, do you love me?

Of course, I can't bear it all the time, in fact, I can't bear it more and more.That time An Ran went to look for me in the summer, and took pictures of me with her mobile phone. She had a particularly bad smile, but it was also very seductive.I pretended to snatch his mobile phone, but I just wanted to take the opportunity to hug him.Many times, when I hugged him, he was very obedient, his face would turn red, and there were two dimples on his cheeks when he pursed his mouth.

I wanted to take a photo with him on a whim, but he kissed me funny again.I hope that he is serious, and I hope that he is not here. After all, through the most superficial understanding, I know that that road is not good for us at that time, especially for him. (Later these thoughts were known to friends, Wu Yue: "What good is it like now?" An Ran: "It's not bad anyway.") He is such a simple person, a simple life is good.I almost never praised his appearance in front of him, but in fact An Ran is very good-looking, clean, clear, and a little lazy.I'm not surprised that Accountant Li likes him, but it's strange not to like him, right?

I thought about letting go, while I could still hide.So when my family called me to ask me to go back, even though I already guessed in my heart that it was a blind date, I packed my luggage pretending not to know, and went to An Ran to say goodbye.He came by taxi from nowhere, and asked me stupidly why I said goodbye to him when I said I would miss him. These performances can already show that he only regards me as a good buddy.

An Ran will probably never know what I was feeling at that time. I was so reluctant to part with him, I couldn't control the idea of ​​kissing him even when my palms were bleeding, and I almost blurted out 'I love you'... In the end, I just laughed Saying goodbye, I watched him wave to me from the back glass of the taxi, feeling myself shattered into countless pieces from the inside out.

I barely saw what that girl looked like, only that when she smiled, there were two dimples on her cheeks, which looked very much like An Ran. Just because of this, I agreed.I reported the situation to him as if nothing had happened, and he didn't have any special reaction.I think that's it, that's all.

So when he nonchalantly said that he was traveling on the Gold Coast, when he yelled at me hoarsely on the phone that I lied to him, when he said in a tone that was about to cry that he was joking, those suppressed emotions Desperation and longing made me forget about everything, blind date, marriage, everything, I just want to see him, see him as soon as possible.

then……

Meeting, silence, confession...

There is only a thin line between hell and heaven...

No matter what the path ahead, I will always love him... That was the decision at the time, it hasn't changed now, and it won't be in the future...