Plan carefully

"Master, I want to take your car." The apprentice turned around and called me while putting on a down jacket.

"Well, let's go!" I put on my gloves, picked up the car keys and walked out.

At night, little white Otto crawled slowly on the heavily trafficked road.The apprentice knocked on the window of my car on the co-pilot and chattered endlessly, "Master, you know what, they are all jealous, anyway, this is a car, 5000 yuan, it's so fucking cheap... When I bought this mobile phone, I didn't know it. The price is higher than this!"

The unit's car was upgraded, and the office manager was equipped with a new Chevrolet Sail. This Alto, which had been used for more than four years, was replaced.The unit said that it would be sold to the employees for 6000 yuan, but it almost cost them money. In the end, the president said, let’s do it.That day, when I was off work and had to drive home, I was called to the meeting room. I saw that everyone in the bank was there, and they were all excitedly waiting for President Zhou, who did not participate in the lottery, to make a note.I didn't think too much at the time, because it was really too cheap, so I waited for a while. Later, when I was about to miss the bus and was about to leave, President Zhou finally fixed it.I was in a hurry to go home, so I said, let me come first.As a result, as soon as he reached out his hand, he grabbed the note with the word "Alto" out of the box.Everyone froze for two seconds, and then howled all over.As a result, I owned my first car at a cost of 5000 yuan.

It is said that it has been used for more than four years, but the wear and tear is not serious, and the car wash and repair are all paid by the unit, and the car has been well maintained.I drive it to and from get off work. The car is small and fuel-efficient. I am very satisfied.

While waiting for the red light, the apprentice received a WeChat message from Xiao Li's voice, "Come here directly when you arrive, and ask your master to open the 610 slowly. Don't worry, the set meal is ready for both of you."

"Auntie is so generous. If you want to sing K, you have to go to 'Tang Palace'. The effect is good, and you don't care about the food...Let's say it's more expensive...Master, have you been to 'Haitian'? I don't want to go once I go It's far worse than the 'Tang Palace'."

"Haitian is cheap." I responded casually.

"Well, that's true. By the way, it is said that the Tang Palace box is very difficult to book, not to mention that it is Christmas, and the auntie called after work can actually book a middle box... Hey, master, I heard that the auntie It's a relative of the chairman's family, and it's said to be an illegitimate daughter...Really, Master..."

"fake."

"Ah, it's fake? That's right. The chairman's relatives must be staying in the head office. How could they be in the sub-branch like us, and they are also at the front desk... But, master, auntie likes you, right?"

"..."

"Don't be embarrassed, we all know how good she is to you...Master, do you like her?"

"get off."

"what?"

"Here we are, get out of the car." How could I have such a sloppy apprentice?

The lights, the noise, the dark queues in the front hall, the waiters dressed in Santa Claus, the giant Christmas tree...it was a chaotic and crazy holiday.

My apprentice and I were the last to arrive, and my colleagues had already started singing.Xiao Li pointed to the bar and asked us to finish the meal first.In the meantime, we asked for hot drinks.I sent a message to tell Wu Yue that I would go back late, but Wu Yue simply told me that he would not go back.If there are too many people, you have to line up to sing, and those who can’t get in the line drink, talk about mountains, and throw dice. I smoke and listen to everyone crying and howling.Colleagues who drink no longer call me, everyone knows that I quit drinking.I don’t remember when I stopped drinking. All wine, red, white, yellow, foreign, no matter what the occasion, no matter who is toasting, I will not touch a single drop.There were still many people who didn't believe it, but after I categorically refused the wine of the big president, everyone knew that I quit when I said I quit.Quit drinking, but smoking more and more fiercely.

All night, I chatted and laughed casually with my colleagues, all of which were irrelevant topics.Sister Cao ordered songs for me to sing.I couldn't sing two lines of each song, and then I cut it out and replaced it with someone else.

When the show ended after ten o'clock, Sister Cao said that she and her apprentice were going to see him off on the way, and Xiao Li gave it to me to see him off.

I smiled, "No problem!"

Small cities are so good, no matter how lively the festival is, people will go home to sleep after 10 pm.

The bright and dim light of the street lamps flashed across my face, Xiao Li looked at me and remained silent all the way.When we got to the gate of her community, she didn't get out of the car, but just stayed in the co-pilot and stared at me like that.

"See you tomorrow!" I waved at him.

She blinked her eyes twice, "An Ran, I have known you for five years."

"Oh, it's been so long!" I replied, I really didn't know what to say, so I could only smile at her.She leaned over and hugged me very suddenly, it was an awkward hug.I froze for a moment, just froze for a moment, without stiffness, panic, or rejection, so I let her hold her without responding.

An old song was playing on the radio: "Thinking about you becomes a matter of thought, waiting for you becomes persistence, the longing in your eyes is too late to hide and so honest..."

"An Ran, you... are you alright? Are you alright?" she asked, her voice was salty with tears.

I?I think I'm better?I have put away the photos on the dining table, I no longer check the balance of the same account hundreds of times a day, I no longer ask Wu Yue the same question from time to time, I can sleep without holding the account book, I can travel around, and I even bought a new one. I bought a mobile phone, bought a desktop computer, and made some money by speculating in gold and silver with Wu Yue... I think I should be fine... Can't you see it, why do you still ask me... The familiar cold feeling came from my heart The body surface spread, breathing became difficult, the halo in front of my eyes was dyed into random oil paint, and the sharp pain made me tremble even at the tips of my fingers...

Why ask?Do you know that those appearances that I try to support can't stand a gentle questioning at all?

I'm not any better, not at all.

It has been half a year since Wu Yue's lie about An Ran's critical illness was sent out, but there has been no answer.When one month passed, I dropped my mobile phone and smashed my laptop. In the second month, I looked at the photos and asked Wu Yue, "Do you think he forgot me or died?" Wu Yue thought for a long time and asked Me: "He remembers you and loves you, so what?"

"At least give me some news...to make me feel better."

"He gave you news, can you really feel better? He can't come back, you can't go out, is it just wasting like this?"

"..."

"There are originally two paths. One, you get rich overnight, throw away your bank job, and do what you want, but is this possible? Do you think that when you write a novel, you win the lottery if you say you win the lottery, and you get rich if you say you get rich , It’s so easy to make money. There have been no poor people in the world for a long time. The little money we invest and earn can’t get anywhere. You still have to rely on the income from your current job to support your aunt, and your aunt will need more and more money in the future. More and more, so this road is basically impossible in a short period of time, and second, that is, that is, that Auntie no longer uses money... In this way, you can also be relieved, but this is probably not what you want, right?"

"As long as she lives well, I'd rather not be free..." I can't accept this second way.

"Yeah, then have you thought about how long it will take? How long do you want your younger brothers and sisters to remember you, love you, and watch you from afar? Ten years, 20 years? Don't blame me, I'm the one who talks That's it, in the final analysis, do you want your aunt to live well, or do you want to get rid of it and go find your younger siblings?"

Is this an option again?Is this still an option?

That decision at the beginning seemed to be Mu Yu's, but in fact, I knew very well in my heart that in the end, I still had to compromise. What Mu Yu did was to bear this decision for me, to show that he also agreed, and he did not agree. Blame me, but this doesn't make me any less innocent, because I caused the situation.

I smiled wryly, An Ran, why do you want him to remember you and love you?Since you forced him to leave when he had no choice but to leave, you are no longer qualified to ask him to do so. He almost lost everything for you. How long do you want to pester him with such an obscure word 'love'?

Wu Yue patted me on the shoulder and said: "An Ran, to be honest, I don't believe he can forget you. If he can really forget you, it would be a good thing, at least better than your endless self-torture."

I silently put away the photo frame, turned and went back to the house.

Mu Yu, don't worry, I won't listen to that humble man Wu Yue, I won't forget you, I love you.Can you forgive my selfishness?Even if I don't deserve to say such a thing, I still want to tell you that I will wait, wait, wait... I will use all my future thoughts to replenish you for what I owe you.

So, I slowly regained the normal An Ran, who covered me like a coat, who could talk, laugh, and move forward... But no one asked me to be sincere, the place was already empty, and the rest was deserted. Smokey vines, despair overwhelms.

The fact is often like this. It’s not that if you figure it out and accept your fate, the wound will stop hurting. You can use reason to convince yourself, but you can’t use reason to stop the bleeding.

Xiao Li hurriedly took out the medicine from my pocket and gave it to me.

"Li'er, you scared me..." I gasped and said nonsense, and pulled my hand out of her hand by the way.

Xiao Li lowered his head and remained silent.I know how hard it is to wait, which is why I didn't have the heart to push her away at first.But I still have to say, "Li Er, don't wait, I can't give you the affection you want... I'm all on another person, even if we're not together... I owe him I don't even know how to pay it back, so don't do anything for me, I can't afford it..."

"Are you blaming my dad?" she asked.

"Well, I used to be very resentful, but now I don't complain...Really, it's my own fault, the general environment is like this, if it weren't for him, there would be others, and if it wasn't for this predicament, there would be others. I am too naive. , we are all too naive."