Daily life of roommates

When I was promoted to senior year, a new neighbor came to the dormitory next to the 2nd bedroom. He was unshaven and looked quite vicissitudes.

This guy is also a living legend in their college. He has been a senior since his freshman year, and he was a senior many years before that. No one knows exactly which year he enrolled.It is said that he failed to graduate because he failed too many subjects, so he could only repeat the grades, so he stayed one grade at a time.

On the day he brought his luggage, the people in the second bedroom pretended to be okay and went to the next bedroom to borrow things, some washing powder for a while, a mop for a while, and an ear pick for a while, and they came to see the uncle one by one.

Later, they met in the dormitory to comment on the appearance of this legendary uncle who was repeated a grade.

Fat Meng said: "The beard is messy, like Marx or something."

Gou Yi also criticized: "It's too disappointing, it looks quite dirty."

Shao Lang disagreed with their point of view, "I think it's a bit worth seeing."

Tao Jin said, "It turns out that your taste is so strong."

Shao Lang rolled his eyes at him, "What do you know! ——You guys, to judge a person is to look at the packaging, to look at the clothes, in fact, you still have to look at the essence. To develop a pair of vicious eyes, you must learn to see the essence through the phenomenon, It’s like this uncle who is repeating a grade, what you see is his shaggy beard, but what I see is his possible face shape if he shaves off his beard—let me tell you, he is probably a handsome guy.”

Everyone expressed their disbelief.

Shao Lang said: "Okay, then I will make a bet with you, let's shave off his beard, if he is not handsome, you can do whatever you want me to do, if he is a handsome uncle, each of you will fight for me for a week breakfast!"

Others agreed.

But how can an uncle who is not familiar with him shave his beard - when it is obvious that the beard has become his personal image LOGO?

Gou Yi proposes:

Let Shao Lang seduce the other party, use a handsome trick, and then say that if he wants to continue dating, he must shave.

Shao Lang rejected him and said he was going to go by himself.

Fat Meng's proposal is to treat the uncle to a meal, talk to him well, let him satisfy other people's curiosity or something.

This proposal was also rejected.

Tao Jin came up with a complicated chain plan or something.

That night, when the repeating uncle passed the 2nd bedroom, he suddenly heard a cry for help from inside: "Help~~HELP!"

Gou Yi jumped out all of a sudden and caught the uncle who had repeated a grade, saying, "Come and help!"

Fat Meng also said: "Come and help." The two of them put the repeating uncle on each side and got them in.

The door of bedroom 2 was slammed shut, and the repeating uncle wondered if he had been involved in some serious incident?

In the room, Tao Jin held a knife and forced it on Shao Lang's neck aggressively and fiercely, and yelled at the others: "Don't blame me for being unrighteous, you have helped me for a long time! I will give you a knife today!" lesson!"

Gou Yi fearlessly said: "What do you want?! Let me tell you, we are strong in numbers! We will not succumb to your despotic power!"

Tao Jin snorted coldly: "What prestige? Am I going to rape you? You don't even look in the mirror, I'm also a person of taste!"

Gou Yi was a little displeased, "If you say that, it's meaningless! What do you mean you won't have sex with me? Did you say that I was sex with you? Besides, if you were sex, would you suffer? It's too bad to beg for food, aren't you too Too much?"

The two of them were about to quarrel, and Shao Lang, who had been idle for a long time, secretly rolled his eyes and said pitifully, "Help~~"

One word awakened the person in the dream, and only the 2 sleepers remembered the original script.

Tao Jin coughed and regained his rogue look, and said, "Didn't you see that I have a hostage in my hand? Anyway, be honest with me, listen to me, and do what I want you to do, otherwise I will Just hum..." He tightened the plastic knife in his hand.

Shao Lang made a trembling look, displayed his 12-point acting skills, and said, "You must agree to his request, otherwise my fresh life will be in the hands of a deranged person like him."

Fat Meng pinched his waist and said, "Bad guy! How can you let Shao Lang go?!"

Tao Jin said: "It's already ten o'clock. I want one of you to make a call. This call cannot be to your parents, and don't say anything unnecessary. If you can successfully get the other party to come over at this time unconditionally, And without any complaints, then I will let him go. Otherwise, I will scratch his face, and then rape and then kill!"

Shao Lang and Liu Hulan rolled his eyes at him, "You beast!"

Gou Yi and Fat Meng declined by saying that they had no friends who could ask for that, and then they all looked at the uncle who was repeating a grade.

The uncle who was plucking his beard noticed their gazes and said in surprise, "Do you want me to find someone?"

Everyone nodded, "It's up to you."

The uncle who repeated the grade thought for a while and said, "Okay."

Everyone got a little excited, thinking that such a worthless wretch who couldn't graduate also had a boyfriend or girlfriend.

They all want to know what kind of person can take a fancy to someone like repeating a grade.

The repeater took out his phone and dialed a number, saying, "Hey, give me a family bucket and six more Cokes. The address is Room 2, Room 2, Building 2222, Campus [-], University of X. ... Well, there are no other requests. Hurry up. This Waiting for help."

Cut ~ 2 sleepers said that it was boring, and the delivery was for takeaway.

But it does meet the conditions of a phone call in the dead of night without complaint or regret.

While waiting for the takeaway, the uncle who was repeating a grade chatted with the people in the second bedroom, "What's going on? Didn't you say that the people in your bedroom are quite united, why are there internal strife?"

The party involved in the internal strife, Shao Lang whose life was threatened, sighed and said: "Even in a happy marriage, there will be a hundred thoughts of wanting to divorce, fifty times of wanting to strangle each other; In a good job, there will be times when you want to let go of the pick and quit—conflicts and conflicts are inevitable.”

Gou Yi said: "The two of them are at odds with each other. They always quarrel. After a few days, they quarrel very fiercely, and then they start fighting. That's it."

Fat Meng said, "Why don't you shave your beard."

Gou Yi went to cover his mouth to prevent him from leaking.

Tao Jin was getting a little impatient at this time, clamoring to rape first and then kill, "Unless you agree to one more condition."

Gou Yi said: "No matter what, we will agree, just say it."

Tao Jin said: "I'll let him go if you shave all your beards, otherwise... I don't want to talk anymore!"

Gou Yi said to the uncle who repeated the grade: "This is really up to you, we don't have beards."

The uncle who repeated the grade got up and was about to leave, saying, "It's too late and I'm going to bed."

Gou Yi refused to let go, Fat Meng said: "Block the door."

Xiao Yuejian came out of the bathroom with a razor, the light of the knife was glowing with cold light and he had a sinister smile for some reason, "Don't worry, my standard is not bad, and the general wounds are not good. Landing on the throat, even if cut, it will not be completely separated."

The uncle who repeated the grade was stunned, seeing that the formation seemed to be surrounded by people from the second bedroom, and there was no way to escape, so he thought about it and said, okay, I see.

Turn around and walk to Tao Jin and Shao Lang.

Shao Lang adjusted his expression and whispered, "Help, help."

Tao Jin pointed the knife nervously at the uncle who had been graded and said, "Don't come here, or I'll rape and then kill!" Bravely brandishing the knife.

The uncle who was repeated took the knife, kicked Tao Jin away, then clapped his hands and said, "It's all right." Then he left.

The people in the second bedroom looked at each other, and Tao Jin was the worst. He felt that he had lost his wife and lost his army when he got up from the ground, and he hadn't shaved off the other's beard.

However, at this time Wan Fuhe came in with a delivery box on his back, and said, "Which one of you ordered so much?"

As a result, that night they joined together to pay for the Kaifeng dish order, each ate and drank something, packed up and fell asleep in frustration.

After the failure of plan A, they carried out plan B and failed, and plan C still failed.

In short, the beard of the uncle who was repeated was like a wildfire burning in the heart of every 2-bedroom boy, and he became more and more hungry and thirsty.

They are eager to get a glimpse of the true face of the uncle who has repeated grades.

However, they didn't get what they wanted after wandering around for so long, but the grade repetition has seen through their original intentions, and defeated their battle plans one by one. .”

The 2 bedrooms gradually respected this legendary big brother.Later they decided to change the plan. Since they can't take it by force, they have to outwit it.

They knew that the uncle who was grade-repeated liked to drink beer and eat peanuts, so they bought some with their sleeping expenses and gave them to them as a tribute.

Repetition says that everyone is happy, but alone is happy, who is happy?

The person in bedroom 2 doggedly invited him to bedroom 2 to drink beer and eat peanuts with him.

Who would have thought that when the grade-repeating wine was in place, there would be a lot of talk, and he looked like he was recalling the past, bragging, and saying that he hadn't graduated for so many years, but he was not idle, and now he was engaged in creation or something.

If a person who has not been able to graduate for N years can come up with creations, then the Titanic will not sink... Well, to use a clearer analogy, a sow will also climb a tree.

In short, the 2-bed people are not very trustworthy.

Repeating a grade after eating a lot of peanut skins is obviously a bit unsatisfactory. However, at this time, the peanuts are gone and the wine has bottomed out. He suggested that the 2-bed people should go out to eat.

2 The sleeper didn't expect to meet a high-ranking customer. It was such a good thing, so he didn't refuse, and followed.

As a result, the grade was repeated and they were taken to a roadside barbecue stall at the east gate, saying that they were going to reserve the place.

The boss was very enthusiastic towards him and said hello, "You didn't graduate today again."

The repeater said: "I can't bear to part with your barbecue."

The boss said: "All the good things are reserved for you—how can I get two kidneys first?"

Repeat the grade and introduce to the boss: "These are my little brothers, they are very lively. Let the children have a taste of your craft."

The boss grilled it dutifully, and the meat was fragrant.

2 Sleepers seldom go out together to eat at roadside stalls, and now they follow the Romans with a bottle of beer. Even Shao Lang looks very MAN.A group of people just ate and drank, and talked about life by the way.

At the right time, Shao Lang saw the opportunity and said, "Brother, what year did you go to school? My brothers are curious."

By this time, I was already slightly drunk and in a good mood. I pretended to take a deep sip of beer, hiccupped, and said, "I can't remember. I just remember——the year I came, the deputy secretary of the department Still in graduate school."

The barbecue booth fell into silence for a moment, only to hear the barbeque screaming happily for some reason.

Department Deputy Secretary...Deputy Secretary...Secretary...Reporter...

That middle-aged uncle with a slightly high hairline who looks elegant but dark-bellied turned out to be the senior brother of the uncle who was repeated!

How many years ago has that been like the smoke of the past!

2 Sleepers did not expect that this is really a character of the ashes.

Gou Yi shook his guts and asked again: "Then why can't you graduate?"

At this time, the grade repetition has entered another realm of drunkenness, and he said, "This is a very simple question that cannot be explained in words. Let me explain it to you in a visual way——

I spent all my money and bought him a hundred beef kebabs, hoping to make him happy.But he didn't say a word, but he refused to eat.I said why are you not moved?Am I not good enough for you?I can't even afford to eat and I want to buy you skewers. I really like you.But he said that even if you buy two hundred beef skewers, I won’t be moved, not because of my caring heart, nor because of my character, but because——I don’t like beef skewers, I like lamb skewers! "

After telling the story about the meat skewers, he took a sip of new beer after repeating the grade, and hiccupped, "Do you understand? I couldn't graduate because I didn't buy the right meat skewers."

Shao Lang sighed and said, "I understand. A heartless person hurts others, and a passionate person hurts himself."

The repeater laughed and said, "Smart. Come on, let's go one by one!"

Shao Lang raised the wine bottle to touch him sincerely, and said, "Brother, I respect you."

Tao Jin didn't know why he also drank a bottle, followed by Gou Yi.

Pang Meng sensitively felt that everyone seemed to have something unhappy, but he didn't know what it was. He didn't want to be found out that he didn't know anything, so he had to drink with everyone and was embarrassed to ask.

When they were full of wine and food, these 2 guys started to go back. They were a little drunk, staggering and laughing, and the standard drunk men were mighty and majestic. very dangerous.

Because of the drunkenness, a group of people moved very slowly. Suddenly, a few people wanted to take a walk, but not only was there no one around, there was no bathroom, and there was still a long way to go back to the dormitory.

At this time, they happened to pass by the campus savings office, where there was a 24-hour cash machine. A few drunks were so daring that they wanted to wear plastic ones, so that it was convenient for them to take turns.

As a result, at night, a group of people surrounded the man in the middle with solemn expressions and straight eyes, and the man in the middle even lowered his head, as if he was doing something seriously at the cash machine for a long time.

The last person has also done it, carrying a big bag of bad-smelling urine. The group of people continued to walk back, intending to go back to the dormitory bathroom and dump it again, but they didn't take a few steps, and suddenly a motorcycle sped past behind them. , the two people in the car passed by with the 2 sleeping people and repeated grades, and then disappeared into the night. The whole process did not exceed five seconds.

The speed of the car was so fast, they were so close, and they acted poorly. Fortunately, no one was hurt, otherwise the consequences would be unimaginable.

After this false alarm, their wine was a little more sober. At this time, Fat Meng looked at his empty hands and suddenly felt something was wrong——

"Hmm...why is the urine bag missing?"

Several people searched around, but couldn't find it.

The two speeding gangsters in the distance were still happy, "Second brother!! This time is really a big deal! So many people gathered around to collect it several times for a long time, and the bag was so heavy! It seems that there are at least hundreds of thousands Ah! This time it's posted!"

"Brother...it's pee!"

In the end, the 2 dorms and repeated grades also felt that they were probably robbed by the speeding gang as a huge sum of money.

Gou Yi laughed loudly and said, "Enough for them to drink for a while!"

Fat Meng was a little worried and said: "If the bag leaks, it will be dirty on them."

Shao Lang said: "It's good to show them to death haha!"

The repeater shook his head and sighed, looking at the dark place in the distance where the speeding car disappeared, and said: "That's what we worked so hard to urinate. It used to be a part of our body's water, and it was just taken away by others. Don't you think we There are too many involuntary things in life? The simplest thing is that you can’t even arrange your own urine. Isn’t this a sad thing? —— Humans are really small and powerless things. I recently read a book The book says that there is a four-dimensional creature, an absolute creature that transcends time, and time is reversible to him, so in his eyes, a person's life seems to be a continuation of countless time and space, sticky and pitiful like a worm Xixi..."

He BLABLA recklessly fell into the derogation of human beings and himself, but a robbery of urine does not seem to be enough to trigger his deep pessimism, it can only be said that the right time and place triggered his complaint button, or he It's been a long time since I uttered such nonsense out of anger, it's just a nonsense after drunk.Who cares.

2 Sleepers didn't listen to him very carefully. After listening to one ear, they each talked in a hurry. There were too many people talking, and the sound of repeated grades was quickly swallowed up in the common noise of several people. Coming out and disappearing into the air at the same time leaving nothing behind.

It's just that Xiao Yuejian, who was walking beside him at some point, seemed to be listening carefully all the way. When he stopped talking and fell silent, Xiao Yuejian suddenly patted him on the shoulder.

The repeater turned to look at him.

Xiao Yuejian said in a cold voice: "If life is just like seeing you first, brother, do you know what the second half of this sentence is?"

I was stunned for the repetition, searched in my mind, and shook my head, "I only remember one line of Nalan Xingde's poem, but I don't remember the second half."

Xiao Yuejian said: "I don't remember either. But the second half of the sentence is not important, the only important thing is this sentence."

After speaking, he looked ahead and did not intend to continue the conversation.

The more I think about this sentence, the more meaningful it becomes, the more I think about it, the more interesting it becomes, the more I think about it, the more I feel... the truth is about to come out.

He looked at Xiao Yue, who was gradually surpassing him and walking in front, and seeing that tall but strong figure, he felt a little like the waves of the Yangtze River on the verge of death. Happened to myself.

His last bit of unyielding spirit, that bit of persistence that he didn't want to be washed away by the years finally disappeared.

In the future, he will probably always remember this night, when two profound things happened—his urine was robbed, and a young child said to him, "Life is only as it was when we first saw it."

The scene in front of him was blurred, and the repeater rubbed his eyes in a rough way. At this moment, he suddenly noticed the half moon in the sky. Under the bright moonlight, his humble soul seemed to be reborn. A smile with white teeth.

He wants to remember the moonlight he saw for the first time, and live the rest of his life with this bright mood.

"Thank you, thank you." He whispered to the young men walking in front of him.

This year, an event that shocked the society happened at X University——Liu Jieyan, a best-selling author who is famous for writing mystery novels, has been studying for many years, and today he finally passed all the graduation subjects and got his graduation certificate.

At the graduation ceremony where the certificates were issued, the 2 dorms waited and waited and did not see the sloppy bearded uncle appearing. When Liu Zhan was reading, the scene was suddenly surrounded by many reporters. Standing up in the row was a well-dressed handsome uncle who looked like Takenouchi Toyoto, and walked towards the awarding platform with a smile.

Everyone, including the 2-bedroom man, couldn't believe that this handsome guy was the guy they usually saw, and the wrong opening method could no longer explain this kind of supernatural event.

However, it was Shao Lang who reacted first, he covered his mouth and shouted, "What! Let me just say he looks good!"

On the stage where the certificate was issued, because of his special personal situation, he was asked to say a few more words at this commemorative moment. As usual, Liu borrowed some words of thanks to his alma mater and alumni.Then walk off the podium in boundless attention and glory.

The ceremony is still going on, and the front row is full of leaders and prominent figures.

Liu borrowed to sit back on the chair, and the man next to him was silent for a while, without looking at him, and asked in a low voice as calmly as possible: "Why this year?"

Liu borrowed without looking at him, and said in a low voice, "Because I met some lovely children and figured out some things."

There was no eye contact in the conversation between the two people, as if they didn't know each other.

The man's eyes slipped slightly to the back, and he glanced at the group of bed-2 people who were fumbling, and sneered, "Birds of a feather flock together."

Liu borrowed: "Teacher, I finally graduated from you, aren't you happy?"

The man stopped making a sound.

Liu did not stay until the end, but got up and walked towards the second bedroom to say goodbye to his children.

The 2 sleepers received him enthusiastically, and asked for a group photo, and then asked for his autograph and so on.

But Liu borrowed: "Let's forget it, you are not suitable for the book I wrote."

Shao Lang said, "What are you writing about?"

Liu Tie said: "To put it simply, people will die wherever they write, psychologically dark, perverted murders, horror and supernatural stories."

Fat Meng said, "Uh...don't read it."

Liu Tie said: "But I want to try to switch to writing some light-hearted stories in the future."

Tao Jin said, "Will it succeed?"

Liu Tie said: "It doesn't matter if you don't succeed, as long as you remember the original mood."