crossing the northern latitude

That kind of uncertain secret love has tormented Mengtunan for a long time, and it is thrilling for him to pick a single day from that long time.

But when he later recalled the days when he was with Lu Yan, he was most impressed by this secret time.

Every day is ordinary, but every day is precious.

Get up in the morning, go out to find Bambi waiting outside the door.They went to school side by side. Mengtunan was shorter than him, and he had to turn his head from time to time to see what Lu Yan was doing and why he didn't speak.They would buy breakfast when passing the bridge. Lu Yan was actually not used to eating this so-called "junk food" outside. Meng Tunan would go up to take a bite of what Lu Yan was holding, and he would hear Lu Yan's shocked and disgusted voice. Curse yourself: "Get out, don't you!"

"Oh, let me taste the poison for you." He replied casually, "Don't be stingy."

Afterwards he would peek at the deer eating along the way, eating whatever he had bitten.I scolded myself for being mean and cunning in my heart, but the little joy rising in my chest would suppress those emotions and turn them into joy.

Is happy, the only thing that can be sure is that we are very happy together, and we will be very happy to be able to touch and get along with each other intimately.

After going to school with Lu Yan, Meng Tunan was never late again, but because he got up too early and lacked sleep, he was sleepwalking in the first few classes.

This day's morning study was interrupted by Li Ya who was behind her. She shook Meng Tunan vigorously to wake him up: "...Mencius, after class, can you borrow Lu Yan's monthly exam paper, mathematics."

"What are you doing?"

"Dr. Jiang said that the last expansion question Lu Yan's idea is very good, I will observe it."

After thinking for a while, Meng Tunan rummaged through his schoolbag and found a paper for Li Ya.The other party took a look and was very surprised: "Why is his paper here?"

"...Don't you want to correct the wrong question and hand it in, I'll use it to copy the answer."

Li Ya shrugged, took the paper and read it with relish, amazed as she read it.Meng Tunan stared at her for a while, and suddenly felt melancholy.

He pondered for a while, then leaned over and asked, "Li Ya, is it because you have such a good relationship with your friends that you can't tell whether it's friendship or love?"

Li Ya looked at him strangely, and then exaggeratedly covered his chest: "Meng Tunan, don't do this, we can't do it!"

"..." Meng Tunan rolled his eyes, "You think well."

He lost interest, buried his head and fell asleep, and slept until the first class.In class, he was single-minded, looking at the blackboard and Lu Yan. Fortunately, he was in a convenient location to easily see what Lu Yan was doing—drinking water, staring out the window in a daze, and taking notes.Probably because of the heat, Lu Yan bit his collar and took off his school uniform jacket.

That movement made his pen fly away, and unfortunately it flew to the edge of the podium.The Chinese teacher was stunned, stopped and asked him in doubt, "Meng Tunan, do you have any questions?"

The teacher was right, he might really have a problem, and he was so happy to be punished to stand...Maybe it was because he could see Lu Yan more clearly.

He observed Lu Yan very carefully, he was more focused than doing the questions in class, and he could write a "Bambi Chinese Class Observation".

A class passed quickly, and Meng Tunan felt for the first time that 45 minutes was too short, and he could come for another 1 years.

It's a scary feeling to start watching someone intentionally.Recalling later, Meng Tunan even suspected that he fell in love with Lu Yan by relying on his observations and rich brains. After all, people are animals that are good at self-deception.

The things he observed were insignificant, as insignificant as dust, fibers, and ash, but they kept floating in his heart, accumulating less and less, and soon became full.

Bambi likes to drink fresh mint infused water with honey.Bambi likes to use his own thermos and takes it everywhere.Bambi likes to read strange popular science books, and likes to stand in a high, open place and stare blankly.

Bambi is not used to eating things sold at small stalls. Every time he buys a copy of Mengtunan, he has to go over to "taste the poison" before Bambi reluctantly tastes it, so Bambi is also smooth I fell in love with glutinous rice dumplings, but I would still insist: "It's just so delicious."

Bambi's mind was spinning fast.When his grandma was playing cards, Lu Yan sat behind and looked at the cards for a few minutes to get a rough idea. Every time he played a few rounds for grandma who went to the bathroom, as long as Hu was full of cards, it was very exaggerated.

Bambi likes to play all kinds of chess.Sometimes when they go home together, Meng Tunan stops by to buy something to eat and asks Lu Yan to wait for him at the same place. When he comes back, he sees that the person is gone. If he looks for it, he will find him at the chess table surrounded by people.The blue school uniform was surrounded by a group of uncles, frowning and staring at the chessboard, listening to the uncles give him advice, the scene was inexplicably joyful.

These scenes related to Lu Yan became very cute in Meng Tunan's eyes, even his very second-guess words, bold nonsense about shooting the sun and making the moon... are also very cute.

But it was just thinking furtively, entangled, with no direction at all.

It's a vague liking, wanting to get closer, having strange thoughts... But what should I do more, what is this?

There seemed to be no one around him who could give him an answer.

Meng Tunan was still very young that year.When he stepped into a strange world, he was dazed and flustered, but he also had an inexplicable sense of anticipation... Instinct told him to find a spiritual support.

He decided to find that answer himself.

On the weekend, Meng Tunan went to the Internet cafe and asked for a private room with extra money.But today, instead of playing games, he stared at the computer screen and meditated for a long time, then pressed one key at a time on the search interface and typed out the three words "gay".

Mengtunan stared at the pages that popped up, carefully looking at each one.A few windows popped up, introducing the must-see list, and he wrote down the names he saw one by one, and copied them in his notebook.

After walking out, he always felt that something had changed in him, and the sky he saw seemed to be much wider than before.

After returning home for dinner, Lu Yan came and asked him to go swimming.Meng Tunan hesitated and said that he wanted to practice calligraphy.Lu Yan probably didn't think of other arrangements in advance, and was a little at a loss after being rejected.

They said a few words uncomfortably, and Gao Hui, who was about to go to the market, heard them talking, and when he saw this, he relieved Lu Yan: "The art test is not long, let him practice calligraphy at home. Yan Yan Do you want to go to the market with me to buy something? Today is the day of the market, it is very lively, and help me carry things by the way."

Lu Yan breathed a sigh of relief, and quickly agreed.

After they left, Meng Tunan also went out.

His destination was very far away, he had to take a taxi past the Anti-Japanese War Monument in the town, and then made a detour into a small alley—finally he entered a small shop that rents and sells DVDs, which is the farthest from his home A video store.

Flipping through casually, there are a bunch of gangster movies.Meng Tunan searched for a long time before finding a collection of movies, and it was a pirated copy.When checking out at the front desk, the smoking boss looked at the disc, then looked at him with a strange look, and asked, "Only this one? Do you want anything else? Stephen Chow is new."

Meng Tunan nodded calmly: "No need... I rented it for someone else."

The boss didn't say anything, took the deposit and sat back to smoke.He put the dish carefully in his schoolbag and went home.

No one at home.Meng Tunan knew that it would take a long time for Gao Hui to go to the market.He won't be back until evening... His father has gone out to find a friend to play chess. At present, there is only one cashier, Miss Xiaomi, who is downstairs watching Legend of Sword and Fairy, and he has no time to talk to him.

Meng Tunan quickly went upstairs and locked the door, quickly dug out the thing, and put the CD in.

While waiting to play, Meng Tunan looked at the movie introduction on the back of the disc, the name was "Lan Yu".

He pressed the play button and sat upright on the bed to watch.

Like a magical journey, the film only saw half of Meng Tunan and was fascinated.

He felt as if he understood something, saw something, but he couldn't reach it with his hand, and he couldn't speak when he opened his mouth, but his chest was pounded back and forth with full and churning emotions.

Meng Tunan covered his face, tears flowed down naturally.

He looked at it very seriously, and the more serious he was, the sadder he became.Meng Tunan was not a sentimental person, but he didn't know when he could feel such subtle emotions.He thought to himself... so there are really such people living like that in this world, experiencing so many sorrows and joys that he may never understand.

By the time the movie finished, it was almost dusk, and he was crying so hard that his head hurt a little. When he heard the movement downstairs, he could only wipe the tears off his face and turn off the DVD player.

Meng Tunan rubbed his eyes and sighed while sitting in the room with no lights on.He heard a sound coming upstairs and would knock three times. It was Bambi.

"Come in."

Lu Yan opened the door and came in, and turned on the light: "Why... did you wake up?"

Meng Tunan nodded without looking at him.

"Is going to the market fun?"

"It's okay, there are a lot of people... I bought jujube flower cake." Lu Yan took out a bag of things from his pocket and handed it to him, "I'm covering it, and it's still hot."

Mengtunan wanted to rub his eyes again.

He was afraid that Lu Yan would find out that he had cried, so he could only pretend to cough and cough up tears: "I... I have a sore throat. I don't want to eat, you can eat."

Lu Yan was surprised: "Isn't this your favorite food?"

"Don't eat, I... got angry." Meng Tunan replied hoarsely, "You eat."

Lu Yan put down his schoolbag: "Then let's write our homework first, and then go out after dinner. I told Aunt Mei that I will eat at your house today..."

"I'll do my homework tomorrow." His voice was perfunctory, "I'm not in a good mood, or you can go back after dinner, I'll sleep for a while."

With the feeling of not wanting to face the reality, Meng Tunan covered himself in the quilt and wrapped it tightly, but he didn't drive anyone away: "Bambi, I want to sleep, you should do your homework first .”

He didn't plan to really sleep, Meng Tunan just didn't want Lu Yan to see him in a daze.

He was dazed for a while, and then he heard the sound of something being flipped... It didn't feel right, he quickly lifted the quilt and got out of bed, and as expected, he saw Lu Yanren standing next to the DVD player, picking up the disc to watch , and asked: "What are you looking at, don't call me..."

Meng Tunan rushed over to grab it with a few strides.He reacted greatly, and Lu Yan was stunned: "What's wrong with you?"

"..." Unable to argue, he could only make up a sentence with a blank face, "My secret."

Lu Yan was even more confused: "What?"

Meng Tunan shook his head, firmly pressing the plate to prevent Lu Yan from touching it.

Lu Yan thought for a while, then lowered his voice and asked, "Pornography?"

"..." Mengtunan nodded resignedly, "Yes, porn."

"Then watch it together." Lu Yan's voice became smaller and smaller, "Why did you watch it behind my back!"

…Without knowing the puff of anger he took, he pushed Bambi out vigorously, and closed the door with a bang.At the same time, the plate in my hand fell to the ground and hit my foot, which hurt quite a bit.

At that moment, Meng Tunan suddenly felt that he was very tired. He squatted down and hugged himself, gasping for breath.

After a while, he smelled something and stood up to look for it.In the end, I found out that it was the jujube flower cake left by Lu Yan. The cake looked like a flower, with red dots in the middle, so pretty.

He picked up a piece and looked at it for a long time, starting to feel mean.With such kindness from others, he still gets along with them under the name of "good brother" and "good friend". No matter how he thinks about it, it's too much. He himself can't stand this kind of self-deception.

In the future, if Lu Yan knew what he was thinking, would he still bring himself a jujube flower cake when he came back from the house?Will you still wait for yourself to go to school every day, and give yourself that 'first bite' every day?

After looking at it for a long time, Meng Tunan finally put down the cake and dared not eat it.