Eros kisses Psyche

Xu Bu was startled, put on his coat and stumbled to chase outside. "Old Cheng!" His voice sounded like he was crying, and was blown into ice by the super cold north wind.He's going to leave me, and he's going to leave me alone.It's all my fault... because I made it easier for myself, and because I only cared about my cowardice, I let him fall into this situation.

Cheng Zhu was downstairs, borrowing an old car parked in the yard from someone, and starting it.It may be because of his restlessness, he failed to start the fire several times, or it may be because of the cold weather.Cheng Zhu punched the steering wheel impatiently, and the horn let out a piercing scream.

Xu Bu followed the sound and ran over. He was only wearing a shirt, and even the collar was crumpled and rolled inwards. He hurriedly wrapped the coat and couldn't cover the obvious red marks on his neck, pawing like an abandoned puppy. window. "Cheng Zhu, take me with you, where are you going? I'll go with you..."

Cheng Zhu sighed, but his voice was very calm: "Don't, you go back with me, and you won't be able to get rid of what you can get rid of." He stretched out his hand, Xiao Xu thought he would open the door for him, but his hand only He opened the co-pilot's glove box, rummaged through it, found a pack of deflated cigarettes, and held it in his hand.

"Why do you want to get rid of it? I'll prove it to you...to prove that you didn't..."

"Nothing?" Cheng Zhu reached out and touched the mark on his neck, "Didn't I do this to you?"

"That's all I want...you didn't force me..."

"But I am your teacher." Cheng Zhu said quietly, as if he had thought a lot in this short moment.

Xu Budie's eyes were empty for a moment. "You are my teacher...can I not like you? Obviously... there are so many people in school who like you? They give you gifts...write you love letters...including Jing Jianian..."

"I know, but I don't respond to someone alone, accept expensive gifts from them, give them more than any realistic expectations, and don't make love to them."

"But... I'm not at all... I'm not because you are a teacher..." Xiao Xu said eagerly, he could hardly organize his words, "You didn't treat me because I was your student...we even I didn't meet you at school at all!"

"How can you explain something clearly?"

"Why can't you make it clear? Someone is obviously trying to frame you!"

Cheng Zhu stopped suddenly, "Well, if you want to make it clear, then we will make it clear." He looked at the young man who was covered with traces of his territory and even smelled like him, "Who the hell are you? "

This question is like a sharp knife, piercing straight into the two people who are clearly physically fused and have a negative distance, as if cutting them alive.

"...I can remember the names of all my students, including those who only take major courses. I don't remember a student named 'Xu Xing', so he probably isn't a former graduate, right? Otherwise, I can't have no impression."

"How old are you? Do you have any?"

"Why don't you go to school?"

"When did you know I was your teacher?"

"Or, do you know that I am your teacher, so you came to approach me on purpose?"

Under this aggressive questioning, Xu Budie's face became extremely pale.Answering him, I roared in my heart, but just a simple name seemed to weigh a thousand catties on the tip of my tongue, biting my lower lip and leaving a tooth mark.

"Look..." Cheng Zhu sighed, "It's just me asking you. What should you do when others ask you?"

He said and started the car.This time the engine started running smoothly, Cheng Zhu put on the old-fashioned manual gear, and the car moved forward a few steps, but Xu Budie firmly grabbed the co-pilot's door handle and refused to let go.Cheng Zhu had no choice but to slam on the brakes, both of them leaned forward heavily, Xu Bu staggered and fell to the ground.

"You're looking for death!" Cheng Zhu couldn't help cursing anymore, Xu Bu got up halfway, leaned against the front cover of the car, and opened his hands recklessly.He slapped his palm on the speaker irritably. Amidst the sharp beeping sound, his red and frosty eyes could be seen through the glass, and he could still hear the other party's hoarse voice: "I can answer you!...Let me After finishing speaking, I will let you go!"

After cursing in a low voice, Cheng Zhu still had no choice but to drive the door down, and almost pulled him up by his collar, only to feel him trembling all over. He didn't know whether it was fear, pain, or cold; He opened the passenger door and pushed him up.

"If you have to leave...I don't want...I don't want you to just leave without knowing my name." Xiao Xu said tremblingly, almost biting the tip of his tongue; Cheng Zhu silently tuned the old-fashioned carriage With a snort in his nose, as if mocking himself, "Yeah, I don't even know your name yet."

"Sorry……"

"Are you him? Say sorry again and I'll really throw you down."

"I didn't mean to hide it from you...After something happened at home, I started to go out to work hard. It may be because of low self-esteem, because I'm not used to it, and I feel that I can't hold my head up, and I don't want to meet acquaintances...Whether it's for Brother Yang , To Mianmian, or anyone else, I call myself Xu Xing. I want to completely separate myself from that past. In this way... Thinking of those delicious, fun, and life that seems to be taken for granted... I It won't be so uncomfortable."

Cheng Zhu thought, I actually understand.But so what?If we still maintain the same relationship as before, like an employer, a friend, and a relative, I will be very considerate of you now, and say to you "It's okay, it's just a name, I don't mind."But we are different now... I have kissed every most intimate part of your skin, I have entered the hottest inner part of your body, we are like two clay figurines smashed and reconciled.I whispered your name in your ear, I hid your name in the sculpture I made, and at the top of the climax, I took your name as a life-saving straw like a drowning man, and took your name like a devout believer. name as a prayer of blessing.

But you told me that all this is false...

He was a little absent-minded and remembered that after Xiao Xu had an accident and missed the appointment that day, he was as anxious as an ant on a hot pot, and he was always unconsciously afraid that something happened to him that he could not notify his family in time, such as a car accident and the like, and express delivery is a high-risk group.At that time, he even used his connections to ask his former students to help him check the records of the DMV to see if there was anyone surnamed Xu in the car accident records that day.

Now that I think about it, I may be completely self-indulgent and working hard in vain.

"...So, is your surname Xu?"

Unexpectedly, he nodded. "My name is Xu Budie. It's the 'Budie' who walks very fast."

Cheng Zhu gave a sudden pause. "Ha..." He remembered, the name he had crossed out with a black pen on the attendance sheet, surnamed Xu, yes, the name that sounded hurried and busy, never came to class... The memory is like sand and sand Overwhelmed, the appearance of the dean who was hesitant to speak at the beginning reappeared in front of his eyes: "Car accident."He is the only one left in the family...going to school, where can I find money to hire a nurse? ...I can only donate some money, let him put it away for a year, let's look at it after a year...'

"I'm going...you're only a freshman..." Cheng Zhu rubbed his face vigorously with his hands, he didn't want to face the world for a while, he just felt ashamed to see others, "Yes, it's you...so obvious , why haven't I linked these two things together?"

"I'm eighteen... I said I'm older because it's easier to find a job... Otherwise, everyone would think I'm unreliable and would not give me a normal salary." Xu Budie continued to answer the same thing with his head down. , "I didn't know it was you at first... We really just ran into each other at the gate of Lele Kindergarten. I called you Teacher Cheng by the name of Teacher Xiao Wang, but I didn't know if it was Er Dongchen or He Mucheng... …Although I saw you making sculptures later, I thought this city is so big, how could it be such a coincidence? I didn’t know it was you until I went to your studio, because...’Feather One’ is very famous.”

"Then why didn't you tell me then?"

"...No student who skips class wants to be discovered by the teacher... It's really shameful. If you know, you will definitely not hire me to work again, and ask me to go back to school, and I have to do these things again Explain again..." Xu Budie smiled self-deprecatingly, "Besides, I plan to suspend school. Even if I can go to school, I can't afford to learn this... Let alone other things, I can't even afford the materials. Yes The teacher who came to understand the situation before did not agree to help me with the formalities, saying that this is a special situation for me, insisting that I keep my student status and suspend it for one year..."

Cheng Zhu nodded. Their director was very reliable and knew that no student should be given up.

"I'm done." Xu Budie lowered his head, crossed his legs, and put his hands on his knees neatly, like a student who made a mistake and admitted his mistake. He didn't dare to look at Cheng Zhu, and said in a low voice, "What else do you have?" Do you want to ask?"

Yes, there are too many.But Cheng Zhu didn't know where to ask, and some couldn't ask. He liked him, no matter whether he was called Xu Xing or Xu Budie.He knew what had happened to him, bad enough to warrant regular visits to a psychiatrist.And every time I questioned, it was like peeling him bloody, letting him use the pain to prove his innocence.

Cheng Zhu lit a cigarette and rolled down the car window a bit. "Who do you think did this?"

Xiao Xu gritted his teeth. "Do you still need to ask? It must be that guy!... My bag and mobile phone were left in his place... He must have looked through it, there is an ID card in the bag, and it is easy to crack the mobile phone..." He felt a twist in his stomach A group, if it wasn't for being weak, giving in, and unable to muster courage, how could things have developed to this point?

"Yes, this matter must be Gan and Yu...and Qin Hong's handwriting, because I made their works worthless, damaged their face and interests, and finally became a national-level talent. The dream of official salary has come to nothing, and it is me they are retaliating against; it’s fine if they can’t participate in the exhibition themselves, and they want to drag it down when they die, and once I accept the investigation, the exhibition of my works may also be affected.” Cheng Zhuman Said slowly, "To be honest, this matter has nothing to do with you, so I don't want to involve you and make things more complicated. Using you as a model sculpture is also my own idea, and I didn't discuss it with you However, if it were someone else, they might be attacking another person now, and you are just a tool that was just used to attack me."

"But they're just criticizing... They're the ones calling for a thief, and they're going to beat them back! I can expose them..."

"If you had evidence, why didn't you go to the police?" Cheng Zhu laughed, thinking to himself and the other party asked you to tell the story of what happened, can you really do it?You can't even tell me. "They are not in-service teachers who work in public schools like me. Even with the same personal moral issues, the moral constraints on them are still different from mine."

Xiao Xu's face turned pale. "Then can we just let them talk nonsense?"

The biggest problem, and the neatest part, is here: it's not bullshit.This is true, not to mention they have evidence.Although Cheng Zhu didn't believe that they could get tangible evidence, such as installing a camera in this factory or something, the indirect evidence was enough to make him unable to argue.

Cheng Zhu tapped the steering wheel and didn't look at him, but just looked straight ahead.After thinking for a long time, he said: "Let's separate for a while, shall we?"

"For a while... how long is it?"

"I don't know. Maybe it's over by the end of this matter. Maybe it won't be long." Cheng Zhu paused, "And during this time...you never liked me. We never developed any relationship, just ordinary ...Employment contract relationship. Get rid of the feelings, and get along with the rest as you want... Do you understand? Anyone who asks will bite this one to death, remember?"

"Can this... help you?"

"Yes," Cheng Zhu said pretending to be relaxed, exhaled smoke rings from his mouth, drilled through the narrow gap of the glass window and expanded circles outside, "otherwise what should I do? Admit that I messed with students? As long as I admit , and other trivial details are not important."

Yes, there are so many side details, such as so many transfer records in WeChat that look like nurturing and have higher than normal prices, those indelible traces of life left at home, expensive movie tickets, ambiguous words, midnight Call, take it with you when you go out to participate in conferences, I don’t know how many people have directly introduced "this is my student"...

As long as I admit it, it doesn't matter anymore.

"Okay, let's get out of the car." Cheng Zhu said, he tasted the bitter smoke in his mouth, and unexpectedly the filter was bitten into pieces by himself at some point.

Xu Budie raised his head and looked at him eagerly, "Then kiss me again." He asked in a low voice, as if he had sensed something, his fingers couldn't grasp the unease in the air, and let it slip through his fingers .

"No, I'm smoking, my mouth is bitter." Cheng Zhu shook his head, leaned over to open the door for him, and reached out to rub his hair along the way, "Be good, be obedient."