Reborn the tamed beast

"Gu Ziming, father." Gu Shen squinted his eyes, barely opened his mouth, avoiding the direct light of the headlights, and soon returned to normal, and continued, "I am very grateful for the conditions you gave me, making me an outsider. Very good people."

"But." Gu Shen continued, "I may be considered a happy person in the eyes of outsiders, but what about you? Gu Ziming, when did you think that I was a successful and mature person for a second? ?”

At the banquet, only the high-frequency turning sound of the air conditioner and Gu Shen's inhalation sound were heard.

"If there is, I will continue."

Gu Shen: "Gu Ziming, have you ever thought about it, I never thought I was a useful person?"

Because I felt useless, I committed suicide in my previous life.

It’s like being unable to find the true meaning of oneself in such a huge society, floating between salary and work, having no fun and no dreams——

Nothing at all.

The feeling of not knowing what the value of one's existence is is really scary.

Terrible, not even afraid of death.

"You like to write your own text, because you feel that the fate and character of the characters in the novel can be determined by you. You like this feeling, tightly bound, like this, you have a little sense of security. I I don't know what you are afraid of, but I am not a character in your writing."

Gu Shen closed his eyes, and said softly: "—I am alone."

A long time ago, Gu Ziming said that he realized that Gu Shen is not a virtual product, but a person with independent personality and pursuit, but saying is one thing and doing the same thing. Obviously, Gu Ziming's consciousness When it came to Gu Shen's longing for independence, in reality, he couldn't let go of it no matter what.

Gu Shen desperately suppressed the violent panting, and said: "Now, before. I think I am useless. I may only live an ordinary life without your achievements. But I don't want to do this. I want to learn music. I want to find my own fun."

"If you really..." Like my words. "Think about what you have, can you, please let me go?"

Gu Shen stared at Gu Ziming's direction, carefully considered the expression on Gu Ziming's face, and said word by word, "Please."

Gu Shen's pride only allowed him to speak to this level, and after he finished speaking, he pursed his lips tightly and didn't say a word, as if he had been humiliated.

"I'm your adopted son, not your chess piece," Gu Shen wanted to say, but that's all.

The entire banquet was quiet, as if everyone was petrified by the boy's actions.

Gu Shen looked down at Gu Ziming.

Not as expected.He didn't burst into tears, or rushed forward to slap Gu Shen.What is shocking is that Gu Ziming's expression is very calm, there is no wave in his eyes, not even the sound of his breathing, it is as quiet as a pool of stagnant water.

I don't know why, Gu Shen felt terrified, but thought, maybe this time, maybe he will let go.

Gu Ziming's expression was very flat, and there was no movement for a long time. After a long time, he sighed softly.

It seemed to be talking to himself, the voice was very low, and for no reason, Gu Shen could hear it clearly.

"...You've already said that." The voice seemed to be 20 years old, "What else can I do."

Gu Shen clenched his fist tightly.

After the dinner, naturally, Gu Shen got into Gu Ziming's car and went home with him by default.Gu Ziming looked very calm along the way, leaning his head back on the seat, silent.

Although they were sitting on the same level as Gu Shen, the two of them didn't make any eye contact, nor did they say a word.

Gu Shen secretly felt lucky.In this situation, there is really nothing to say. While thinking back to what the man said at the banquet just now, his consciousness is, does he agree to study music exclusively?

Gu Ziming drank a lot of wine at the banquet, and now his eyes are closed, but his face has a faint red, abnormal and sickly red.Thinking of Gu Ziming saying that he was ill, he was a little curious and worried about what happened to this man.

Gu Shen cleared his throat and said, "If possible, I hope to move out of the house tomorrow. I don't know if you agree or not."

The man was half leaning against the car, not moving at all.

Gu Shen frowned and said, "Gu Ziming?"

"As you please." The man said very tiredly, "You can do whatever you want - I don't care about you."

"..." Gu Shen paused, then said, "If that's the case, then I'll pack my things tonight."

Thank you.

Gu Ziming frowned, moved his stiff fingers, as if he was suffering, and said, "—-Okay."

After returning home, because of drinking a lot of wine, Gu Ziming walked back to his room unsteadily, closed the door angrily, and made a loud noise.

Gu Shen watched his swaying back slowly disappear, paused, and began to pack his clothes.

I want to move out because I don't want to disturb him when I practice the piano, or Gu Ziming bothers me because I practice for too long.Or maybe it was simply not knowing how to face him.

What a bad son I am, Gu Shen thought.

After finishing everything, the hour hand pointed to twelve o'clock impartially, but Gu Shen still didn't feel sleepy at all.

Like a beast set free the next day.

Being bored, Gu Shen picked up the book "Prudent Thinking Self-Clarity" that he had read a quarter of last time.

Recalling the past scenes.

In the few days when Gu Shen just came back from the hospital, he started to apply eye ointment every day, and then he gradually got better, but he couldn't see too strong light, so Gu Ziming replaced the curtains at home with black light-blocking ones, The whole house was dressed like a haunted house.Gu Shen often saw Gu Ziming carrying a stool outside to bask in the sun, sleep or write articles.Only then did I know how much Gu Ziming liked the sun, but he gave up most of the rights to enjoy the sun for Gu Shen's eyes.

[I still remember that before Gu Shen came, more than half of the house was covered by sunlight, and it was very hot in summer, but there was a strong wind blowing the curtains. 】【I still remember that the sunlight at that time shone thoroughly on people's bodies, and they could clearly see the trajectory of blood flow. 】【I still remember that from any angle in the room, you can see the blue sky outside, and occasionally a plane flies by with a long ground line.The neighbor's child smiled and talked with his tongue rolling his popsicle in his mouth. 】.

【It's just that since Gu Shen came, seeing him crying when facing the sun, I actually hated these rays of light in my heart. 】【It doesn't seem so uncomfortable without sunshine. 】

【I found out later that what I hate is not the sun, but the things that hurt Gu Shen. 】.