Lost Guide

Although the old cat fairy monk is called the old cat fairy monk, he not only has hair but also does not look very old. The few cat whiskers on his face even make him look quite playful.However, it is true that he is already a [-]-year-old cat, not to mention among cats, even among gods, he is considered old.

He has lived for so long as a carefree cat fairy, but recently, he has a little trouble and is very depressed, so he can only confide to his apprentice: "He'er..."

He He'er asked: "What's wrong?"

"The old monk wants to lose his virginity..."

He He'er immediately spat out the sugarcane in his mouth.

Speaking of which, He He'er can be considered a well-known figure in the Upper Realm.He He'er built a restaurant on the first floor of Yaotai—that's all, he actually named the restaurant "First Pavilion" because he is "the most intelligent person in the upper world".Regarding this title, he personally said: "Besides being given this title because I have both intelligence and ability, there is also a not very important reason, that is-I am the only human being in the heaven. So in fact It’s true that I’m the most stupid person in the heavens. But the gods are more eloquent.”

Although the joke is a bit cold, the reputation of the first hall is still far away.

He He'er is actually a mortal, but has a little cultivation level, and is the disciple of the old cat fairy monk.The old cat fairy monk said very distressed: "Isn't your first hall dedicated to using mortal minds to help gods solve their troubles? Can't you solve troubles for the teacher?"

He He'er said depressedly: "Things like losing one's body are very fateful, and my apprentice can't help you."

The old cat fairy monk put on a cat face and said, "It's rare for the teacher to give away the chastity that has been treasured for 9000 years. Why don't you support it?"

"Thousands of years... It's really been a long time." He He'er frowned, thinking to himself, "I really can't think of anything that has been stored in my crotch for 9000 years, and I am ashamed to give it to others."

The old cat fairy monk read the word "dislike" from He He'er's face, so angry that even the cat's tail stretched out, and said angrily: "Nie Zhan, are you despising Master?"

"How is it possible?" Of course He He'er would not admit it, and quickly put on a smiling face and said, "Master, you really think too much, but I am just very surprised that there are people as pure as Master in this world. 9000 years The child cat! Think about it, who can compare? Tsk tsk, they can all be selected for the world record. You can win the Nobel Prize for best child urine if you urinate—if there is such an award. "

The old cat fairy monk was a little dizzy: "What is Nobel?"

"Some things in the lower realms are powerful anyway." He He'er replied, "Master, you are the first thousand-year-old boy cat who has never been seen before. Your loss of body will definitely become a good story for a thousand years. As this How can the witnesses who have lost their lives through the ages not be excited? That's why they lost their composure. I hope Master will forgive me."

The old cat fairy monk's cat was soothed by He He'er's words again, he hummed twice, and said: "Okay, I forgive you, Master."

He He'er smiled again: "But Master, why would you think of losing your virginity?"

The old cat fairy monk blushed slightly, and the cat's whiskers shook slightly, and said: "Speaking of which, it's really embarrassing!"

"No." When your old face said that you were going to lose your virginity, you had already lost it to Java.

The old cat fairy monk sighed and said: "Because I met a beautiful man, I have the idea of ​​losing my body to him."

He He'er heard the words and asked curiously: "Who is that? You are the most well-informed nine-thousand-year-old cat, and you can actually arouse your mortal heart. I'm afraid you are not such a simple fairy!"

"He is not a fairy!" The old cat fairy monk explained the problem, "There is a 'mirror of all living beings' hanging outside the gate of heaven, which can illuminate the scene underground from time to time. Beautiful person, ah, just one glimpse, I knew I was going to lose my virginity!"

He He'er was deeply surprised when he heard this: "How can a mortal have a look that can seduce you?"

"I don't know if it's a goblin wandering in the world."

"That's true." He He'er nodded, and then said, "But...how do you know that you lost your virginity, can't you let him lose it?" Look at you.

The old cat fairy monk recalled that the beautiful demon man in the mirror was wearing a bright red wedding dress. The wedding dress had complicated patterns, glittering gold threads, and interlaced silver threads. It is like layers of red waves, it can be seen that he is wearing a luxurious and orthodox wedding dress, each layer is properly dressed, but there is a big tail floating out from the tail swing, the big black fox tail It shows that this stunning beauty is a fox demon.But it's not surprising, with such appearance and demeanor, it would be strange if he is not a demon!

That beautiful fox demon was obviously used to seduce, and her technique was quite skilled, she casually lifted up her skirt, pushed a Taoist priest down and penetrated.The wedding dress had at least seven layers, but it was unexpected that under such a dense wedding dress, nothing was worn underneath, so she could directly carry a gun to work.

"So," He He'er said after listening to the story, "Do you want to push that Taoist priest away and get raped by the beautiful fox?"

"Yes." The old cat fairy monk replied calmly.

But He He'er said: "Forgive me, most foxes seduce cultivators in order to absorb Taoism, not to mention that his tricks of deceiving people can actually infect you through the mirror. It is conceivable that his tricks must not be simple. I don’t know how many ignorant boys have died under his hands! Do you want to die too?” To put it bluntly, if you play for nothing, you will get 9000 years of morality as a bonus.

The old cat fairy monk sighed: "I've thought about this problem too, so I came to you to discuss it. But I think he is so beautiful, so beautiful, he should not be that kind of person!"

"It's poisonous to be beautiful, and the needle behind the tail of a wasp is the most poisonous beauty!" He He'er persuaded, "Don't get your brains full of sperm! Losing your body is very common, even very interesting, but losing your body It’s not fun to practice for a thousand years.”

The old cat fairy monk scratched the cat's whiskers in displeasure, and said, "Hmph, don't you know how to tell the difference as a teacher?"

The old cat fairy is obviously a sperm-head, and He He'er even suspected that even if the beautiful fox wrote "professional semen sucking" on his JJ, the old cat fairy would stick his ass and offer chrysanthemums without hesitation.

He He'er knew that it was useless to persuade him now, so he could only delay for a while, to teach him to calm down, and said, "It's not that I won't help you, it's just that there are tens of thousands of dimensions in this vast world, even if you are lucky enough to know which dimension he is in , but each dimension is so vast, and the sea of ​​people is so vast, where can I find it?"

The old cat fairy monk said: "Don't you claim to be the most intelligent person in the upper world? The old monk thinks it's just like that! Otherwise, you wouldn't have lost your heart and soul to the old fox fairy!"

This incident is undoubtedly He He'er's sore foot, He He'er was displeased, and still insisted: "What are these two drops of blood, it's not just a little from a broken virginity, I should donate blood and show love. "

It is a great shame to be cheated out of your heart and soul.Now He He'er gets angry when he hears the word "Old Fox Immortal".He He'er knew that the old cat used the provocative method, but still couldn't help being irritated, so he copied it with both hands, and said, "You don't need to provoke me with the old fox fairy. You are my master, how can I not be angry?" Help? All right, you draw the appearance of the beautiful fox, and I will help you find it."

The old cat fairy monk hurriedly took out a scroll and said, "I finished it early in the morning."

——The painting is finished, what a cunning.

He He'er spread out the picture scroll, and when he took a closer look, his mouth opened into an O shape in shock.

Seeing He He'er's situation, the old cat immortal monk hurriedly asked: "How is it? Isn't it beautiful?"

He He'er turned his head stiffly, and said to the old cat fairy monk word by word: "This, no, just, yes, same, Tu, is it?"

"Tongtu? The son of the old fox fairy? The most beautiful fox fairy?" Hearing this, the old cat fairy monk quickly stroked the cat's whiskers and said, "Yes, why didn't I think of it? He is recognized by the fox world. The most beautiful woman of all time."

He He'er had mixed feelings in his heart, so he just said: "So what? His name means "Gou Tiandi Wuxin, and all things are painted together". Seeking him is just asking for trouble."

"It doesn't matter if he doesn't have a heart, as long as he has a penis." The old cat immortal monk said, "The old monk just wants to lose his virginity, not to get married."

He He'er was a little surprised: "You think so hard?"

The old cat fairy monk sighed: "I have lived for thousands of years, so there is nothing I can't think about."

He He'er said again: "But... you said you saw that person was struggling with Taoist priests in the lower realm... Immortal Tong Tu has no heart or desire, so how could he do such a thing?"

The old Mao Immortal Monk also felt reasonable, nodded, thought for a while, but said: "Maybe he was moved by the mortal heart after going down to the mortal world?"

But He He'er said: "How is this possible? He had no intentions and no desires. It was his father who poured blood and tears into his mortal womb to make him have emotions and desires during the calamity. He ascended to heaven and returned after blood and tears. Therefore, he not only forgot his past, but also abandoned his emotions and desires. It is really impossible for him to secretly go down to earth to become a Taoist priest. Are you mistaken?" His father lied to He He'er's heart and soul!

"How could I mistake the appearance of the lover in my dream? I said, did you make a mistake?" The old cat fairy monk said, "Or is the portrait a bit distorted?"

He He'er said: "Since you can't make a mistake, it's easy. You go to Qingqiu to meet him and see if he is the lover of your dreams. Then the truth will come to light."

The old cat fairy monk thought for a while, and said: "What should I do, the old monk is a little nervous, why don't you go with me?"

He He'er quickly refused: "How can you find someone to accompany you in this kind of thing? Don't tell me that when you want to lose your virginity, do you want your apprentice to accompany you?"

The old cat fairy monk thought for a while, and said: "If it doesn't burden the beautiful fox too much, it's okay. It's only natural for you and my teacher to share the same joys and sorrows."

It was only then that He He'er realized that his lack of moral integrity was not considered immoral at all, only the unconscious lack of moral integrity like Master's was the real immorality—ah, Master really deserves to be a 9000-year-old virgin. Great!