Xu Jun's life

Surgery scheduled for 09:30 am.

I was wrong, I am not a person who is not afraid of exams, but a person who is not afraid of ordinary exams.

I am afraid of surgery.

I was called up at eight o'clock, and I was in a panic all the time. What's more, Li Zhurong was also very impetuous.

When he was impetuous, he was quieter and more stable than usual—as if he would sneer when he was angry.

I talked to him and asked him, "What if the cancer cells metastasize?"

"Will not."

"What if it is transferred?"

"No if."

After a while I asked him again: "How many years can you live with lung cancer?"

He leaned against the floor-to-ceiling windows, put his hands in his trouser pockets, gave me a serious look, and then told me: "Teacher, you are not cancer, you will be fine after an operation."

Are you kidding me just now when you discussed cancer cell metastasis?

"Xiao Zhe, if I die, what will happen to my parents? Will you find someone to pretend to be me?"

He came over.

It was [-]:[-] in the morning, he squatted down in front of me, and told me: "Teacher, let me tell you something, I will never let you die, no matter what the disease is. If you feel worried, I will take you back to Beijing for surgery now."

His eyes are dark blue and terrifying.

"Then what if I die?"

"Then I will kill all the people who killed you first, and then kill those related to you, those surnamed Shen, those surnamed Lin, and those surnamed Meng. I will not let anyone go." He curled his lips: "Even for this, the teacher has to live well."

"Nobody hurt me." I told him, "If I have to blame anyone, I can only blame myself."

He laughed.

"The teacher is still defending me." He stood up and hugged me: "Don't worry, nothing will happen."

At 45:[-], Youqi came to see me.

"Don't be nervous, it's just a minor operation, it will pass after a night of sleep." He comforted me: "I am the surgeon, don't be afraid."

"I'm not afraid, it's just that my mind is a little messed up."

"Don't think too much." Youxi patted me on the shoulder: "Just say what you want, you are a patient, don't go to the operating table with worries."

At [-]:[-], the nurse took me to disinfect.

After changing clothes, I lay down in the car and was wheeled into the operating room.Wearing a white shirt and suit pants, he stood outside the door of the operating room with Yuan Hai and waved to me. The pale light shone on his beautiful face like a sculpture, like a close-up picture of a movie.

The shadowless lamp is very bright, but I feel cold all the time.

The anesthesiologist came to give me anesthesia. Youqi said that this is tracheal anesthesia and intubation is required.

After the identity is determined, the anesthetist is ready to do it.

I close my eyes and don't look.

It's really crazy, the flashing images in front of my eyes are all those of ours back then.

A certain emotion swelled to the extreme in an instant.

I actually feel regretful.

There's one thing I'm not doing, I know.

If you don't do it now, you may not have a chance in the future.

The operating room is still the same cold, the lights are still the same bright.

I heard my own voice, as if I heard another Xu Xu talking.

He said, "Wait a minute."

"I'll give you two and ten minutes." Youxi revealed a pair of slender eyes on the outside of the mask: "After two and ten minutes, the operation will proceed as usual."

Even if he only showed his eyes, I can see that he expected all this.

I was pushed out.

Yuan Hai was taken aback, but Li Zhurong remained calm.

"Why didn't the operation take place? What happened?"

Yuxi explained to him.

I was pushed into the vacant ward next to me—I had to suspect that You Qi had other plans again.

"I want to ask you a question, but I may not have the chance to ask it in the future, nor will you have the chance to answer it."

"Teacher, go for surgery first, and we'll talk about everything after you recover from illness."

"If I get well, I won't be with you." I told him calmly.

He stood there with a straight and slender figure and an impeccable face.I was wearing a surgical gown and looked sick.

"I know what the teacher wants to ask..."

"Then you answer me." I was too lazy to perfunctory with him: "Why haven't you come to me for ten years?"

If it is said that the betrayal ten years ago was forced and helpless, if it was said that you had difficulties even giving birth to a son, if it is said that you are really in love with me since ten years ago, why don't you come to me.

I can't wait after surgery.

I don't have time.

"The teacher knows I won't answer..." His face was terribly dark.

"Don't you understand, Xiao Zhe?" I looked at him: "After the operation, if I get better, I won't ask you, and I will never be with you again in my life. It doesn't make sense."

"You've got to make me a fool," I said.

You and I are smart people who keep doing the stupidest things in the world.You guess me, I guess you, but you don't want to ask a straightforward question.Xia Chen reminded me at the beginning, but I didn't think it through until this moment.

"I'm going to have an operation soon, Xiao Zhe." I looked into his eyes, which were shockingly deep, and I even lost my voice: "You at least give me an understanding."

"Then when did the teacher give me an understanding!" He suddenly became excited and sneered: "When the teacher left Beijing overnight, why didn't you want to ask me to clarify! When the teacher ran away when he saw me at school, Why don't you ask me to understand! The teacher wants to understand now, right! When you are drinking in the gay bar, why don't you want to understand!"

My whole body fell into the ice cellar.

"Are you spying on me?" My voice was trembling: "For so many years, you haven't appeared in front of me, you've been spying on me..."

Fuck he loves me!

"I'm just spying on you, what's the matter." He seemed to reveal his true colors in an instant: "I know every glass of wine you drink and every man you talk to in the GAY bar! I know it clearly! This is you Is your love, Professor Xu! Is your love a one-night stand in a gay bar..."

"If you fucking spy on me, you'll know I'm not!" I grabbed his collar, wishing I could slap that face: "You make me sick! You monster!"

"I'm a monster, so what is the man you saw in the gay bar for three hours? He looks like me, so you're so fascinated? Did you go to that gay bar later to wait for him? Do you want to be with me? Is he going to bed?" He grabbed my waving hand, stared at my eyes, and pierced my heart sentence by sentence.

"What the fuck do I want to do with him! I won't sleep with you even if I sleep with all the men!"

"Then why did the teacher have sex with me a few days ago?" He asked with a sneer, leaned closer to my ear, and said softly, "I forgot to tell the teacher that the man the teacher was waiting for was actually me."

My eyes were blood red, and my brain seemed to be on fire.

I wish I could bite him to death.

There was a loud "pop".

His face was turned away by the punch, his face instantly became red and swollen, his lips were torn, and he spat out a mouthful of blood on the ground.

He let go of my hand.

"Didn't the teacher want an answer? This is the answer, are you satisfied?" He looked at me calmly: "Go for the operation now, I'll wait for the teacher to come out."

My whole body was still shaking uncontrollably, and my palms ached.

He is lying to me.

At this point, he is still lying to me.

Not because of GAY, not because I stay at that GAY bar every weekend waiting for that "man who looks like him", not because he is a freak, not because he doesn't like me.

He refused to tell me.

He'd rather get punched in the face than tell me.

I can't beat him, he won't say a word if he doesn't want to say.

I feel very tired.

If I want to leave, he will forcefully keep me. If I don't leave, he will stay with me as if nothing had happened.He never thought about why I was leaving—in fact, he thought about it, but he would never tell me the answers.Like he's never going to change his style.

"I'm dying."

He looked at me in surprise.

"I don't want to be treated anymore." I also looked at him calmly.

I was cured, but I just continued to live like this. I wanted to leave, but he refused, and then I was imprisoned and threatened. All my friends and family were not safe, and then I was surviving in the daily torture of each other.

What is the difference between early death and late death?

"Stop being angry, teacher." He stretched out his hand to stroke my face: "If you don't want to go, I'll push you down and anesthetize you, it's the same."

I stared blankly at him.

"I think life is very boring, Xiao Zhe." I felt cold all over my body: "You have blocked all our roads, I don't want to live like this anymore, please let me go..."

"Don't be stupid, we are together now, that's the best thing." He stroked my hair and kissed me on the cheek.The side of his face was hot, and the corner of his mouth smelled like blood, like a ghost from hell.

"Teacher, I let you go, who will let me go?"

After changing the surgical gown, I pushed into the operating room.

While the anesthetic was taking effect, I was chatting with Youqi.

"Do you regret it?"

"Regret what?"

"With your brother."

"Why do you regret it?" The slender-eyed chief surgeon held the scalpel very capablely: "Don't even think about it, there are so many people in this world who met him, neither sooner nor later, and impartial, you like him , he likes you too, it's not easy."

"But I regret it, Yuqi."

"Then think about me." You Qi comforted me concisely: "Happiness is all about comparison."

My eyelids were getting heavy, and I fell asleep quickly.

I hope this time I don't dream of Xu Xu and Li Zhurong from back then.