bend this soldier

I'm just curious. From a certain point of view, the person who introduced Tan Tianyang to work can be regarded as a matchmaker for the two of them.

Master Xi is very satisfied with the word "matchmaker", which is completely different from the feeling given by "marriage, marriage agency". The word matchmaker gives people a hidden romantic feeling-change two words To put it simply, it is "mensao"-it is to choose another person for one person who may be waiting for him, instead of selling young people of the right age to people in batches.

"Ah, yes, the country people want to leave Dashan to work outside, he is the one who helps find jobs, and he collects referral fees from them." Tan Tianyang served Xi Zhaoran a bowl of hot soup with white smoke, and asked him Drink the soup before eating.

Xi Zhaoran picked up the soup and took a sip, and didn't continue the question. He probably knew that if Tan Tianyang had such good conditions, leaving the army normally would definitely arrange another job for him, and Tan Tianyang would go to Shengxiong in City A , I am afraid it is still for the mother and son of the Song family. Song Bin insisted on completing another mission and lost his life in this mission. , if Song Bin was on a mission with him at the beginning, then under his protection, Song Bin might not have died... Maybe this kind of thinking is quite self-righteous, but when a person falls into self-blame, it is It was difficult to get out of the circle he drew, so he said that he owed the mother and son of the Song family, because he felt that he not only took away the feelings that should belong to them, but also caused them to lose their husband and father.

"Why don't you talk?" Xi Zhaoran suddenly stopped talking. Tan Tianyang felt a little strange, and looked up at him while stretching out his chopsticks to pick up vegetables.

"I'm wondering what your house looks like?" Xi Zhaoran finished the soup in the white porcelain bowl, and served white rice as a side dish.

"Ah, it's very common," Tan Tianyang teased in a rare way, "If you were a girl, you would definitely not want to marry someone like me."

Xi Zhaoran couldn't help but narrowed his eyes when he heard his words, "I'm a boy, then you should marry me."

Tan Tianyang turned his head and thought for a moment before saying, "That won't work, you have to have my surname Tan."

After hearing this, Xi Zhaoran's face changed a little. Although it didn't change much, Tan Tianyang still felt it. He put away his expression and asked Xi Zhaoran, "What's wrong?"

"No." Xi Zhaoran smiled at him, Jun still had a smile on his face, looking like he was really fine.

"Hurry up and eat vegetables, eat late and go back to bed early, I'm a little sleepy." Xi Zhaoran added.

Tan Tianyang glanced at him and didn't ask any more questions.

After that, there were very few voices at the dinner table, and the two only talked once in a while.

After the two of them had dinner, Tan Tianyang took him back to the hotel after paying the money. It was midnight and it was a small town, so there was really no place to go shopping.

Xi Zhaoran didn't feel better until he took a bath in the small aquarium and lay on the bed.Tan Tianyang lay beside him, hugged him from behind, and whispered in his ear: "Zhaoran..."

"Don't call me Zhaoran." Although Young Master Xi was in a very unclear mood, his strange paranoia about certain things always made him compulsively want to correct it.

"Of course." Tan Tianyang changed his words politely.

Master Xi is quite satisfied with his name, and he feels better. Although the word "ran" sounds like calling a child, sometimes he would rather be a child.

"You can tell me if you feel uncomfortable." Tan Tianyang hugged him tightly and touched his earlobe intimately.

Xi Zhaoran's ears quickly turned red, a little itchy, and the itch seemed to have reached his heart, he turned over and hugged Tan Tianyang's shoulders, and pressed his face together, looking at each other from a distance, even if he looked at a person so closely People are struggling, and they have no plans to separate.

"Tianyang..." Xi Zhaoran pecked Tan Tianyang's lips.

"Huh?" Tan Tianyang gave a low hum through his nose, put his arms around his back, and adjusted his side sleeping position so that he could sleep more comfortably without hurting his right hand.

"My father...does not admit that I am his son." The two of them were so close to each other, Tan Tianyang's warm body temperature made him feel very comfortable, and gave him a desire to tell.

Tan Tianyang didn't interrupt, but just touched him on the cheek, as if encouraging him to continue talking.Tan Tianyang didn't want to inquire about him, but he didn't want him to be sad from the bottom of his heart, and hoped that he could live a more relaxed life. From the first time he met this elegant young man, he could feel that there was a heavy weight on him—even if Xi Zhaoran always had a charming smile on his face, and his 1.8-meter-long figure was as slender as a bamboo, without any arc of weight-bearing. The kind of sadness that only occasionally appeared on his face made him feel shocked and made him He wanted to protect him, wanted to take care of him.

"When I was very young, my excellent father has always been my idol. In order to get his praise, I always follow what my mother said, and work hard to learn everything that can add points to me. I have a good study and a good personality. , has perfect etiquette and upbringing, but even so, my father never looked at me directly. At that time, I always hoped that he would look at me occasionally and show me an expression of appreciation, but No, never..." Xi Zhaoran leaned towards Tan Tianyang, buried his face in his neck, Tan Tianyang hugged him tightly, and he could feel helplessness and loss from him, which made him very distressed .

"At that time, I asked my mother why my father never looked me in the eye? He never asked me about my studies?" Xi Zhaoran lay on Tianyang's chest and said slowly, as if he was caught in a memory.

At that time, my classmates always complained. If I didn’t do well in the exam, my father would punish me again when I got home. I was not allowed to play games or watch TV for a month, and my expression was always sad.But they didn't know that Xi Zhaoran, who was always quietly listening to their complaints, envied them to death. It would be great if his father could punish him one day.

"My mother told me at that time that my father ignored me because I hadn't reached his standards, so I studied harder, grasped the right scale for everything, and made myself as elegant and proper as he was. , advanced and retreated properly...but...he still never glanced at me..."

"When I was eighteen or nineteen years old, I completely gave up on myself, because my mother took a paternity test for me and my father, and the report said that I was 99.9% his biological son. Only then did I know that he never looked me in the eye, because I didn't believe that I was his biological son, but I felt cold when I held the medical report, not only because my father said that the report was forged by my mother, but also because I was disappointed by the word father, and I began to persuade myself Don't worry about him anymore..."

Tan Tianyang felt a wet feeling in his chest, sighed silently, and raised his hand to touch his head.

Xi Zhaoran was lying on his chest. In the dark, he opened his eyes expressionlessly, but eyes kept leaking from the corners of his eyes. He no longer expressed any hope for that "father", but the desire he had been holding onto for more than ten years had already changed. It became a kind of paranoia that was far from the original track. After more than ten years of precipitation, it was deeply engraved into Xi Zhaoran's bone marrow. At this time, he was powerless to deal with such a paranoid self.

The feeling of Tan Tianyang's big hand rubbing and stroking is very gentle, like a father's love.Perhaps from a certain point of view, Xi Zhaoran's paranoia can be interpreted as a serious Electra complex, expecting to get his father's attention for a long time but not getting it, slowly distorting his emotions.And Tan Tianyang's silent and introverted image is very much like a father, and his meticulous care for him makes up for his lack of affection for his father's love, so when Tan Tianyang denied his love, he said to him "Of course, you don't love When I was," he would feel that what he said was not wrong at all, what he wanted from Tan Tianyang at that time was more like the father's love in his resemblance than love.

Father's love is - the father loves and spoils his child deeply, while the son and daughter can act coquettishly and willfully, because a father who loves his son always stands behind his son, always paying attention to his safety and security. needs, although the son sometimes finds his presence an eyesore.

"From then on, I played truant, drank, fought with the bad students in the school, and became a very troublesome problem student for the teachers and the school... It was also at that time that I met Shao Dongyang and became addicted to drugs... In fact, I did this I still keep looking forward to it, maybe my father will get angry with me because of these reasons, and start to pay attention to me and discipline me... But I was still wrong, my father doesn't care about my affairs at all, he only cares about me, the young master of the Xi family Did he do anything to damage his reputation? If he did, he would ask Uncle Qin to find someone to arrest me and lock me up at home. He would never show up in person... He doesn't care about me, so I have no intention of going back to the original I have been living like this for more than two years, probably as an adult, and I am tired of that rotten life. My mother said to me, since your father no longer cares about you, Then you can take away what he wants... So I started to quit drug addiction, went back to school to finish the courses that I missed and hadn't finished in a short time, and entered Katsuo... Then I met you... ..." Xi Zhaoran rubbed against Tan Tianyang's arms when he said that, it seemed that he felt much better because he talked about his depression for many years tonight.

"Your mother..." Tan Tianyang frowned, not knowing