I want to eat ice cream on a snowy day

A night of rain fell quickly, and Jiang Hanchen was drenched all over. He stood under the porch in a state of embarrassment, not daring to look Ning An in the eyes.

After a long time, Ning An finally softened his heart, glanced at the things in his hand, and asked softly, "What did you bring today?"

A few drops of rainwater overflowed from Jiang Hanchen's forehead and hair, and the thick black eyelashes trembled and couldn't hang, just rolled down on his face.The dim yellow wall lamp in the porch can't really illuminate, only flashes of reflected crystal clear light, as if crying.

Jiang Hanchen gritted his teeth and hid the electric toothbrush he was holding tightly in his palm.

He knew that An Xing didn't lack anything at home, and he knew that he was stupid for coming to knock on the door every day, but he couldn't contact An Xing, and he couldn't see An Xing in the studio, except for the little expectation left every night, He didn't know any other way to lick his heart, the giant beast that was imprisoned by longing and was about to roar and tear through its belly.

"Come in." Ning An held the door and turned sideways, "Don't catch a cold."

"Thank you..." Jiang Hanchen was eager and hesitant, and paused when he walked in, "Mom."

Ning An closed the door behind him with sore eyes.

"Xingxing sleeps..."

"Go take a shower..."

Jiang Hanchen had a dinner party today, and it was late at night when he arrived at An's house, and everyone in the family was asleep.There is only one floor lamp in the huge living room, quietly covering the single sofa under the light and shadow.

That was An Xing's favorite position, and no one would let him grab it, but later he was willing to give it to him, hiding in An Xing's arms and acting like a baby.

Said softly, "My brother's legs are the most comfortable."

"Go take a shower," Ning An's voice sounded tired in the silent living room, "Your clothes are still in the guest room."

Jiang Hanchen regained his senses from the sofa, and was caught off guard by the "guest room" poking his heart. Small thorns stood up densely all over his body, and the pain was severe. He responded in a hoarse voice, "Okay."

There were toiletries for guests in the bathroom, but Jiang Hanchen didn't use them.He stared at An Xing's toothbrush, which didn't get a drop of rain, and stuffed it directly into his mouth.

Without the buffer of toothpaste, no matter how soft the bristles are, they scratch the soft gums and tongue like sharp knives.Jiang Hanchen didn't turn on the electric car, just stared at himself in the mirror, letting the sharp edge of brute force rampage in his mouth until his flesh was bloody.

He seemed to feel no pain.

Nothing hurts more than losing An Xing.

He spat out a mouthful of blood foam, rinsed his mouth indifferently, watched the dazzling red in the pool was diluted until it dissipated, and walked into the shower barefoot.

The bath liquid in the guest room was not the one that An Xing usually used. Jiang Hanchen didn't even look at it, and rushed out after a hasty rush. He didn't even remember whether he had turned on the hot water.

The clothes in the closet were all new, without any smell of An Xing, Jiang Hanchen didn't want to wear them.He was dazed for a while, then turned around to pick up the clothes that he had just taken off and threw on the ground, and sniffed them closely. Although he was soaked, the faint scent of milk and the perfume that An Xing had chosen for him were still there. Gotta wear this.

In the cloakroom of Qingpan Villa, the big bed in the bedroom, and the sofa in the living room, the smell of An Xing on his clothes and blankets began to disappear day by day.Jiang Hanchen felt scared but powerless, he could only let the monster in his heart do some self-deceiving things.

He didn't open the windows, didn't change the sheets, didn't let the housekeeper clean up, and didn't allow any smell to cover the obsession and illusion of An Xing's charity.

He curled up in the cage left by An Xing, like a demanding drug addict.

The shirt was cold against his chest, and Jiang Hanchen could not help but shiver before taking off his clothes as if he had just woken up from a dream.

Ning An was still outside, so he couldn't be worried.

Jiang Hanchen randomly picked out a casual outfit and put it on. When he left the guest room, Ning An was sitting on the sofa in the living room waiting for him.

The floor lamp seemed to be a little darker, but Ning An sat upright, his hair shrouded in light and shadow, and he felt a little sluggish.Jiang Hanchen stood silently behind him for a long time, and when he finished sighing, he sat down on the single sofa with his eyes downcast.

Ning An still had a familiar faint smile on his lips: "Why don't you blow dry your hair?"

"It's okay." Jiang Hanchen brushed his half-wet hair, wrapped it around the nape of his neck and lowered his head, "...I'm sorry."

"What are you sorry for?" Ning An removed the curve of his mouth, "Can you tell mom the truth, why did you marry Xing Xing in the first place?"

Jiang Hanchen explained the series of oolongs to him, and finally exhaled carefully: "So I... I don't care if I want to get married."

Ning An's eyes that were indistinguishable from those of An Xing stared at Jiang Hanchen's eyes: "Does it have nothing to do with anyone?"

"Yes..." Ning An's eyes were too bright, Jiang Hanchen dodged in embarrassment, his fingers twisted restlessly on his thigh, "No, that's not the case..."

He is like a lost traveler. He has been on the road for too long. The exhaustion of guilt and the uneasy inferiority wear down his mind, but he has forgotten the original intention when he came here.

The expected ending of this scene came abruptly and hastily. The knife hanging on the top of Jiang Hanchen's head fell down, and he was chopped into pieces, but he also became sober.

He is Jiang Hanchen, who can force him to marry someone he doesn't love, not even himself.

Are those uneasy excuses and guilty giving really a compensation for An Xing, or a whitewash for his love at first sight?

"Mom, I love him." Jiang Hanchen didn't care about the tears and smirk on his face, he held Ning An's hand tightly, madly as if he had lost his way, "I have always loved him! So I liked him from the beginning He, I've always liked stars, I..."

"Good boy, it's good if you can figure it out." Ning An gently patted the back of his hand, gently calming his emotions, "Your kindness to Xing Xing, Mom sees it, you can't pretend it."

"But Xingxing..."

"To be honest, if I hadn't urged Xing Xing to go to sleep, I wouldn't be the one waiting here for you."

Jiang Hanchen's eyes lighted up.

"This child, don't be awkward." Ning An lowered his eyelashes, his brows were very gentle, "I don't look angry, but I am not confident."

Jiang Hanchen was puzzled.

"Think about it, if Xing Xing had such a childhood sweetheart's first love and suddenly appeared beside him, wouldn't you be worried?"

Jiang Hanchen felt palpitations just thinking about it.

"Really?" Ning An saw that he was frowning, and the corners of his mouth became more curved. "It is said that the bamboo horse is defeated by the sky, but the one from the sky is the most disturbed. He was afraid of the long time of his childhood sweetheart, and he was jealous. Those unknown years of companionship, how did they know each other, what did they experience together, did they have any agreement, will they suddenly leave together one day?"

"No, no!" Jiang Hanchen was full of self-confirmation and had nowhere to vent, so he could only use barren language to justify, "I made it clear to Bai Ran that he won't bother us again, mom, you trust me. …”

"I believe in you." Ning An touched his hair, it was almost dry, "But the hurdle between you and the stars can only be crossed by yourself."

"Thank you mom..."

"Xing Xing still loves you, but I just haven't figured it out yet."

"Ok, I know."

Ning An smoothed his forehead for him, lowered his voice and said, "Do you want to go up and look at the stars?"

Jiang Hanchen subconsciously glanced at the second floor, his throat was itchy, and he rolled his Adam's apple before he opened his mouth: "Xing Xing...haven't slept yet?"

Ning An smiled and leaned back: "You haven't come yet, how can he sleep."

Jiang Hanchen was very happy, but at the same time felt distressed. His mind and soul had been sucked away by An Xing long ago, and what was sitting here was just a fugue body.

"Go." Seeing his fidgeting, Ning An didn't want to hold him back, "Take it easy."

Jiang Hanchen nodded solemnly, dragged his body to the second floor, stopped at the stairs in a daze, turned to Ning An, "Is An Zhi not at home?"

Ning An blinked at him: "Xixi won't work overtime tonight?"

Jiang Hanchen twitched the corners of his mouth and understood.

The author has something to say: Please look forward to Mr. Jiang's stand-up comedy performance.