As a background board, I want to pursue Dazai

There was a flower shop next to the cemetery, and it didn’t take long for a suitable bouquet of flowers to arrive in my hands. We made a choice between white chrysanthemums and lilies, and finally we brought a bouquet of white wild chrysanthemums, as well as daisies and lilies. Green leaves are used as embellishments, and a layer of verdant permeable paper is finally put on the kraft-colored wrapping paper.When we came to the tomb, I placed the prepared flowers in front of the monument, and then bowed to the gentleman.

Is the surname on the tombstone Oda...?

"Ah, Oda Tsukuru." Dazai walked to the side easily, brushed the dust off the top of the monument with his hand, and there was no more words after that.

His expression is as soft as a dandelion, which will be blown away by the wind and fly into the sky in the next second.

Affected by Dazai's excess melancholy, I greeted the tombstone: "Good morning, Mr. Oda."

We watched the stele silently, and no one spoke.

There are fine lines left by natural wind and rain on the stele. It does not look like a tomb that has been cleaned frequently. It is no wonder that Dazai can blow dust out when he touches it.

"Yi Jun." His gentle voice was brought by the blowing wind, and Dazai's eyes were slightly helpless: "At least introduce yourself?"

After he reminded me, I realized that I had forgotten something important.

I don't know the story between Mr. Oda and Dazai under the tombstone, I don't know the shape of their friendship, and I don't know why he died in the ground.

What I can be sure of is that such an important friend in Mr. Dazai's heart must also be a person worthy of admiration.

Similarly, it was his who changed the life of Mr. Dazai. In the face of such an important old man, no matter what language is pale, it would be more accurate to say "mixed feelings".

I took a deep breath nervously, tensed my body, as respectful as when meeting an important person——

"Hello, Mr. Oda. I am Mui Inai... Another name is Iori Ayatsuka, and I am currently Mr. Dazai's lover." After saying this, the tension in my chest relaxed. , I said again: "It's the first time we met, I don't know what you like, I only brought flowers to visit..."

My overly blunt movements and words seemed to touch Dazai's nerves.

"Ikun is too nervous." Dazai smiled with squinted eyes, "It's fine to be normal. However, if Oda Saku is there...you will see his reassuring reaction—probably He paused for two seconds with no expression on his face, and then said, 'That's it, then congratulations'. How should I put it... If you see his reaction like this, no one can get nervous."

"...That's true." I imagined the scene in Dazai's words, and the definition of this gentleman I had never met in my mind became "a very calm person", and I said, "Isn't this quite healing? "

"Healing?" Dazai repeated, "It's not like no one has said that, but Odasaku is very different from the 'healing man' that everyone imagines in the conventional sense."

He said so, so I won't embarrass my barren and overly imaginative.

After all, the person who can become Mr. Dazai's friend is definitely not someone who is waiting for you.

"Anyway—an interesting man."

Dazai shook his body, and the hem of the windbreaker flicked along with him. Then the young man stretched out his arms, facing the blue sea.Mr. Dazai in front of his friend’s grave has lost his usual chattering appearance—to be honest, I thought he had a lot to tell his friends, but in the past years, he may have repeated this matter long ago.

No, not necessarily.

Maybe he just sat quietly in front of the stele, and he could re-transmit his mood, and take it back at the wall where no one answered.

While my thoughts were flying, Dazai had already put his hands in his pockets and was walking downhill. After taking two steps, he looked back at me.

"Let's go." He said, "Isn't Yijun still something to be sure about?"

"Ah, yes!" I followed behind him, taking one last look at Mr. Oda's grave before leaving.

Memorizing the final shape of the tree's shadow projected on it, I followed Dazai and left the area.

Then, I used my memory to find the tomb of "Iori".

We stepped up the steps on the other side of the slope, passing through a layer of dense bushes, and I looked in the direction of the church to find the perfect angle to face the tombstone in memory.After several twists and turns, we finally arrived at our destination.

The black fence in front has peeled off its paint, and a bold white pigeon is sitting on the stone pillar beside the fence.

"Boom-"

The church bells rang.

The frightened white dove jumped up and flew away.

I stood where I was, and there was an open space in front of me, where no monument had yet been erected.

Dazai has already followed, he first looked at the surrounding scenery, and then asked me: "Have you found Yi Jun?"

I picked up the branch next to me, squatted down on the ground and wrote the Chinese characters of "Iori" crookedly, and then circled the words——

"Here." I said, "I met Mr. Dazai here ten years later, and there is a tombstone in front of me." I tapped the two words I wrote with a branch, "My name is on the tombstone."

Dazai simply squatted down beside me.

"Yi Jun." He signaled with his eyes: "The skirt is dragged to the ground."

Me: ...you can tell me earlier.

I had no choice but to hold up the corners of my skirt stupidly. We are all squatting now, our eyes are almost at the same height.

"...Could it be that I died in an accident ten years later?" I held my face in one hand and said this cruel possibility.

Otherwise, how can I explain that Mr. Dazai will come to my grave.

In other words, within the next ten years, I will die one day.

The tree shadows above my head are thicker, and the corners of my skirt have been covered by shadows, adding a layer of color.But what is more gloomy is my mood at the moment.The joyful feeling of being unable to even step on the ground just now collapsed in an instant.

Why didn't I think of this when I was still bragging this morning? I was really blocked by the long-awaited result and only cared about the happiness in front of me.

The bitterness in my heart was like ink that couldn't be melted away. I pulled the corners of my mouth and said these words with difficulty:

"Mr. Dazai, I may die within the next ten years."

I am destined to leave him one day.

Although I don't claim to be an indispensable existence in his life, the relationship between people is equivalent to constructing our own jigsaw puzzle in each other's heart and mind. Let death go away.

Then, I want to make him happy, it is just empty talk.

I struggled to squeeze out this insincere sentence through my teeth——

"...In that case, it would be better for Dazai-san not to agree to my pursuit."

I didn't give him a chance to answer me or interrupt me, and continued: "Otherwise, no matter how many beautiful memories I create now, I try my best to remember the current situation, and it will only become a sharper knife in the end... ..."

This statement is arrogant and conceited, because I put myself in an important position in his heart. Only when the important things in the heart disappear, the peaceful and comfortable water mirror will be broken.

But if it is because of me that he is not rich in happiness, it is better to stop from the beginning and not create any possibility.

My legs were sore from squatting, or it may be because I thought too many bad things in a very short period of time, and my mental exhaustion was reflected on my body.I tried to brush it off with a nonchalant attitude and prepare for our relationship to return to normal.

I broke off the twigs I used to write and threw them back into the grass, rearranged the hem of my skirt, and smiled at him with a gentle smile of 12:

"Let's go, Mr. Dazai, don't you have to work this afternoon?"

The young man straightened up, completely disapproving of my false smile.

Dazai blinked his eyes, his trembling eyelashes were like a curtain of muslin, in his gentle movements, I was once again attracted by his expression——

"I see. Let's go, Yijun."

When I heard this sentence, the overwhelming loneliness and bitterness made me think that I had fallen into a container of bile.The voice of the young man floating up and down made me experience the excitement of a jumping machine in my heart—and it was the kind that only fell and did not rise.

I heard my "hmm" sound coming out of my nose.

I stopped looking at him, and if I look at him for a second, maybe I will burst into tears on the spot.I turned around as if nothing had happened and was about to leave. The next second, I directly felt the inversion of gravity, my body was blocked from the middle, and my whole center of gravity fell directly backward——

Finally, it fell firmly into Dazai's arms.

The air above the left ear seemed to have been heated, and I realized that it was because Dazai’s breath was hitting here. Under the double attack of heat and shame, I curled up my hands and straightened my back unconsciously .

Dazai's voice fell in my ears——

"...Does Yijun really want me to say that?"

"Ah."

This one word took me a lot of effort.

"Could it be that Yi Jun has a natural obsession with 'showing off your strength'? I think even someone who is not well versed in the world can tell the so-called sincerity from your poor acting skills."

The sighs of the world seem to converge into his whisper.

"This is my little revenge." He said, "When Yijun said that he wanted me to reject you, I wasn't in a good mood either."

I was hugged by him from behind. From this angle, I had no idea what his expression was at this moment. I could only vaguely distinguish his emotions from the sentences he uttered.

"It's true that if you don't touch the rose, you won't be stabbed by the finger. It's so obvious that it doesn't even make sense. As long as you regard it as a standard, you can avoid the possibility of injury. This sentence is really true It’s so right and so reasonable, and in my decades of life, I highly agree with this sentence.”

I lowered my eyes, feeling the heat brought by the youth's embrace.

He was much taller than me, so when he hugged me from behind, I was leaning against the young man's chest, and when he spoke, the rise and fall of his chest brought me incredible peace.

My initiative to lean back must have pleased him, and the young man chuckled in his ears.

"But if there is a flower in front of you that you want no matter what, even if you know you will be stabbed—"

"I don't want to hand it over, or let her wither in front of my eyes."

His sigh echoed in his ears——

"It's more regretful than being stabbed."

Accompanied by his words, a delicate and tender rose sprouted from the soil in front of his chest, with full flower branches, trembling flowers and leaves following every word of the young man, and finally when he made the last note, it changed from budding to blooming. Cheng Zhangyang is in full bloom.

My heart is filled again—

"...I never thought I'd say something so blunt," he said.

I turned my head slightly, Dazai didn't stop my movement, but loosened the arm around me slightly so that I could see his expression clearly.

He was pouted, showing dissatisfaction generously on his face: "...So, at least Yi Jun has more confidence in me?"

The tightly squeezed folds were smoothed out again under the comfort of his ironing.

In my heart, Mr. Dazai's feelings are like colorful clouds in the sky, with various colors and shapes, the only thing in common is that they cannot be caught no matter what.He also mentioned more than once, the word "like", he couldn't put it into words, and even told me frankly, "It's a shame to like such a man".

I met his gaze again, and in that gaze, my completely silent world became fragrant with birdsong.I stretched out my hand towards him, and Dazai lowered his head cooperatively, allowing me to rearrange the broken hair on his forehead, just touching his forehead, my fingertips became hot.

At such times, I can no longer express the feelings that are constantly emerging from the bottom of my heart just by saying "I like you".

My hand landed on his face, and my thumb lightly brushed the corner of his lips. This brief touch was like a signal that could not be conveyed in words. When he received my message and leaned down, I also stood on tiptoe. Come--

Carefully kissed the corner of his lips.

The author has something to say:

Ayi: Wait, no, I am clearly awake in the morning? !Why do you think about it now and let yourself get into it?

Zai: (smile that sees through everything)

Ayi suddenly became stupid, and then got into a dead end.

... In fact, nothing happened, and I paid a kiss to go in.

blood earned...!

————————————————————————————————————————————感谢在2020-09-2823:26:22~2020-09-2922:29:08期间为我投出霸王票或灌溉营养液的小天使哦~

Thanks to the little angel who threw the mine: He Lai Resonance 21;

Thanks to the little angels who irrigate the nutrient solution: 50 bottles of Hengjizi; 5 bottles of braised pigeons; 1 bottle of Changye Zhaozhao;

Thank you very much for your support, I will continue to work hard!