As a background board, I want to pursue Dazai

As Qing Guang said, I seem to have vaguely touched some doorways, but it seems that I have not touched anything.I still have a major contradiction, that is - even if Mr. Dazai knows what I want, so what?

When he spoke, I had a feeling of enlightenment.After he left, I felt like I was looking for flowers in the fog again, and I didn't dare to take a step forward.

As a result, I never opened the pure white cover "My Magpie" that I got in my hand.What I was thinking was—was he in the same mood when he gave me the book as he is now?I'm already starting to feel terrified of the two possible endings.

Of these two endings, one is the ending of "The Magpie", lest it be unsatisfactory, or some kind of euphemistic rejection.

The other ending is what I think about myself and his future after reading it.

I was as worried as a child who was still doing homework before class, afraid to face the teacher's eyes and spot checks, because it would expose my inferiority.But what saved me was Qingguang's words.

——If both parties are afraid to step forward, the relationship will only stay in place forever. There is always a choice between a good ending and a bad ending.

So I picked the last page of the book on a sunny afternoon.

however--

"...I am really defeated."

I stared dumbfounded at the place where the ending should have been, and the following sentence was printed on a whole page:

[To the readers who directly turn to the last page: the feelings of skipping the process will be dull, even if you insist on talking, you will only feel that it is tasteless, why not find a quiet afternoon and read this story from beginning to end Let's go ^^.

PS. If you really want to watch the ending, I can't stop it, but a friendly reminder will lose a lot of fun, so I don't recommend it. 】

"It's also 'considerate' too much."

I had to close the book again.

"Let's see it next time." I put it in the most prominent place on my desk, reminding myself all the time.

……

……

When the lily plant that Mr. Dazai gave me was completely withered, I finally met him again.

I was feeling depressed that day, and my creation was not going well, so I went out for a walk.When the sun was setting, the streets were dyed orange red, and the clouds in the distance were full of shadows. Under the sun, the position where the sky and the clouds meet showed a mixed gradient from dark blue to orange.I was pacing the path in front of the shrine when Dazai-san appeared in front of me.

He was standing in front of the zebra crossing and looking at the unknown scenery, I curiously followed his line of sight to find the target——

It turned out to be a flock of white pigeons.

The group of white pigeons was on the roof of a bungalow in the distance. It may not be appropriate to say that they were a group, about three or five.Jumping on the roof, a pigeon stepped on the edge was looking out.

"'Why are there pigeons in this kind of place?'——Yi Jun, do you want to ask this?"

While I was staring, Mr. Dazai walked towards me with his hands in his pockets.His eyes rest on the edge of the dangerous eaves.

"Yeah." I replied lightly, "So, does Mr. Dazai know the reason?"

"Turn this way, go straight for 500 meters and then turn at an intersection. There was originally a park," he said.

I immediately understood: "Is this from the park?"

"Hmm." He said, "There was a murder case near the park, and it is now blocked. Ah... I don't know if this group of white pigeons are hungry and want to eat."

"Do hungry pigeons attack pedestrians?"

"I don't know about that." He replied casually, "Is Yi Jun taking a walk?"

"Staying at home always makes me feel lazy." I said, "The temperature is also very comfortable recently. If I can't control it a little, I will doze off at home."

"What do you do while resting at home?"

"Let's write something or something," I said. "There's nothing to do, Mr. Dazai?"

He smiled and said, "It's the same as usual."

Our conversation is still pretty normal.

At this moment, I regret how I said that the purchase limit of eggs has been cancelled. The encounters that could have been scheduled and scheduled are now pushed away by myself.

Talking about getting close to him, isn't that farther?

Originally, I wanted to try the so-called "implicitly let him confirm my mind", but I couldn't figure out how to do it at all, and there was no manual that I could follow in terms of emotional matters. Salvaging fine sand in the vast sea, finally feeling the small, rough lumps in your hands, and being washed away by a wave of waves-it is always more frustrating than joyful.

"Mr. Dazai, did you just get off work?" I just noticed the light board at the auto show showing the time.

"Ah."

"Do you want to go home?" I tried to keep my emotions stable, and asked casually, "Or go to dinner?"

"Well—if you don't go to the bar, it's almost nightfall."

Now?

Drinking on an empty stomach?I disagree.

In a hurry, I came up with a sentence: "Mr. Dazai, is my bento box still there?"

"what--"

He made a long sound as if to prove his lung capacity.

"I'm staying at the detective agency," he said. "Do you want to go back and get it?"

To go back or not to go back?The Detective Agency is less than a 10 minute walk from here and will be available in no time.Just increasing the number of steps and time, can it make him drink two less drinks?No, why don't you invite him to have a meal, at least don't drink on an empty stomach.

The options in my mind popped up one after another——

"Let's get it, Mr. Dazai." I resolutely chose to go back.

"Okay~ok~" he said easily.

I was overjoyed in my heart, turned my head and just walked two steps away.I vaguely heard him say from behind: "Yi Jun, you are really..." Halfway through the words, he stopped again, he followed my footsteps, his steps were bigger than mine, naturally he caught up with me after taking two steps .

And I was moved by what he hadn't said.

How am I?

——'Are you really the same as before, never changing your feelings for me'?

We chatted all the way, so we arrived at the downstairs of the detective agency.After taking the elevator up, the door was already locked.He took out the spare key and opened the door, and said after entering the door.

"I'm going to drink a glass of water." Then he took two cups of warm water in a paper cup, and put the other cup on the seat next to him.

He sat down, and the setting sun behind him shone behind him, even the back of the chair shone brightly.In the current season, the temperature will be pleasant after noon. He didn't take off his windbreaker, but continued to wear it on his body. He propped his chin with one hand and drank water.

I walked over to him and sat down, silent, I only moistened my lips with water, but didn't drink.

"I don't remember where I put it," he said suddenly.

"...Huh?" I almost blurted out "Really?"

"It should have been taken away by Ms. Haruno or Naomi after it was placed on the table." He was also a little unsure, put down the half-drinked water, walked to a locker beside him, and said to me: " Yijun, please look for it in the drawer on the right, let me see if there is any in the cabinet here."

I looked at the tables next to me, and there were some documents and personal belongings on the tables. I asked, "These are all the tables of the members, right? It's not convenient for me to move other people's things."

"The third drawer on the right hand side is used to put sundries, not just Naomi, most other people's sundries are also put here."

I followed his instructions and turned to the drawer.The drawers were densely packed with things, not only women's braided headbands, but also office supplies such as paper clips and tack clips, and newspapers that had been folded many times were also stuffed inside, piled up to the brim.

I poked my hand along the gap and found something slippery like a bento box.

"Mr. Dazai, it should be here—I touched it."

It was covered by a book, I took out the book first, and then took out the lunch box.

"It's good if you find it." He said and saw the book I turned over to the table, "What, what interesting thing did Yi Jun find?"

Dazai sat down on the table next to him. He straightened the book. When I looked over, the book was blank. If I didn't look carefully, I thought it was a notebook.But in the middle, "Yi" is written in light-colored printing.

"Is it a novel?" I looked curiously at the overly simple cover.

"Probably belonged to a certain member," he said.

I just opened the book casually and picked two pages at random.The position where Dazai was sitting happened to be stuck in the light source, so I had no choice but to ask him to move his body, and he simply jumped off the table and stood next to me.

"This book is really strange. It's written in hiragana instead of Chinese characters..." I took a rough look and was surprised.I remembered that it was the same when Imaken came to my house. He almost only used hiragana, and he had to write Chinese characters after school, so he changed it.

I whispered unconsciously: "There is a fiery fantasy hidden in her thick eyelashes, and there is a full and tall nose bridge. Once kissed, I can't help but indulge in it, and then poke into her..."

I read halfway through, only to realize that this is actually a sensual novel!

...and I actually read it out. Although the voice is not loud, what can't be heard from the close distance between the two of us?

Dazai's even breathing is still in my ears, but there is nothing that can describe the urge that makes me want to grab the ground with my head, no, I even beg for a special ability at this moment, so that I can make him forget all of this immediately— —

Ah, no, the ability is useless to him!

Why should I be so cheap to be curious about this book!

Who the hell put this book here? !

After thinking about it, I decided to take the initiative to resolve the embarrassment. I closed the book pretending to be calm, and pressed one hand on the cover.Breathing seemed to become a small-scale summer, and I shrank back unconsciously.The hand pressed against the cover curled up into a fist, pretending to be calm and opening the mouth——

"...I didn't expect it to be a sensual novel. And it's all written in hiragana. It's really a special book."

When I was reading softly just now, my eyes unconsciously drifted to the subsequent text.As a touchstone that can mobilize people's emotions and desires, sensory novels never disappoint.Don't look at me being very calm, but I lost the courage to look at his face, for fear that I would show something strange.

For example, I can't help fantasizing, what if I put a kiss on his delicate forehead?

What if kisses were dropped on his eyelashes and the bridge of his nose?What about the nape of the neck and Adam's apple?

——Just thinking about it makes me feel like my head is getting hot, like a puberty boy being led by the nose by the God of Desire.

I quickly let myself dispel this outrageous idea, forcing me to return to reality.

"Well, it's really amazing. However, I don't know who put it here..." He took the initiative to give me a step down, and asked half-jokingly: "What does Yi Jun think about the person who blatantly puts sensual novels in the office?" Who could it be?"

"...Mr. Dazai, this is really a death quiz. If I read the names of all the members of the detective agency, it will be considered that I have given the correct answer, right?"

He raised his eyebrows, and criticized my conservative behavior of being unconvinced and not gossiping——

"Yi Jun, what's the difference between this and cheating? Guessing riddles requires first-time intuition, so it's the most interesting when you get unexpected results."

Looking at his eager eyes, why do I have the feeling that he is digging a hole for me...

"Mr. Dazai, why don't you tell me your conjecture?" I said, "After all, I have been with everyone in the detective agency day and night, and the answer you give must be closer to the correct result."

"Hey, don't—" he vetoed with a playful smile, "What I said, Yi Jun will definitely take it as the correct answer immediately, right?"

Me: "...don't underestimate me."

"Okay, okay." He interrupted the topic that might cause an infinite loop, "Close the drawer, or it will really be dark if you don't leave."

I had no choice but to put my things back into this little drawer, but I was thinking about the novel that made me make a fool of myself.

Whose book is it? !

……

……

When we got out of the elevator, a cool breeze blew in from the front door. The night wind at the end of September was no longer as gentle as in August. I folded my arms subconsciously, but Dazai next to him covered his mouth and coughed lightly. .

On the way out, I asked, "Mr. Dazai, did you catch a cold?"

"It's just that my throat is a little uncomfortable." He said lightly, and asked me, "Where do you plan to go next?"

I was taken aback by his question. Did he mean to go the same way with me?Or am I being sentimental, and he just wants to ask me about the follow-up arrangements?

"Did Mr. Dazai have dinner?"

"No." He answered simply.

At this time, the wind outside was already strong enough to blow away the end of my words. I asked, "Would you like to eat something? I treat you, and I owed Mr. Dazai a meal earlier."

In order to be with him, I was so shameless that I searched through my memory for available events.

Instead of dismissing my suggestion, he and I found a table at a nearby family restaurant.As soon as I entered the door, the cold wind howling outside the window was blocked, and I warmed up after only sitting in the seat for a few minutes.

"Hey, isn't this Mr. Dazai?" The waitress walked to the table with the menu and order book, and was slightly surprised when she saw Dazai, "Why is it so late?"

"Because I'm hungry." Mr. Dazai spread out the menu and handed it to me with a smile.

"Mr. Dazai hasn't been here much recently."

Dazai also showed a rare wry smile: "Please forgive me for the event of eating business packages every day to accumulate gifts, it doesn't suit my temperament. Speaking of which, Miss Miyuki, do you have any new product recommendations recently?"

"If it's a new product, I recommend this hamburger meat. It has been very well received recently." Miyuki blinked playfully, and pointed to the picture on the menu with a pen.

Ever since Miyuki greeted Dazai-san, I have been in a wait-and-see state.I couldn't find a place where I could cut into the conversation, so I had to hold the menu and listen to their conversation. It was clear that there were not many words back and forth, but I felt that the time was too long.

"Yi Jun, Yi Jun—"

Dazai's voice rescued me from the behavior of burying my head in the menu and actually being in a daze.

"What do you want to eat?"

I said, "Anything is fine, I'm not picky."

He said dumbfoundingly: "It's not a matter of picky eaters or not, right? There will always be food you like or food you hate, right?"

"I think about it... the food I like should be bread, and the food I hate may not be available for the time being."

Dazai: "Other than that?"

I do not have anymore."

In the end, the content of our order has nothing to do with the topic, neither bread nor recommended new products.Just ordered a curry rice for one person.

There is no one in the store at this point, and all the guests except us have already eaten and are eating.After Miss Miyuki gave the order form to the kitchen, she chatted beside us.

"Is this lady a new member of the detective agency?" she said. "It's very strange."

I denied, "No, you misunderstood. I—"

I'm stuck - what am I?

I'm just Mr. Dazai's friend?He didn't admit it.

I'm just a suitor he doesn't know?Don't be kidding, this is definitely not okay.

It turned out that I didn't know how to define our relationship at all.

The hand I put under the table unconsciously grasped the corner of my clothes——

"I just met Mr. Dazai, and I happened to come to have something to eat."

The author has something to say:

Jae is not the only one who wants to be "confirmed", Wu Yishi also wants to be confirmed and encouraged with meager hopes. 2333

Jae: (1/1)

PS. As for why this sensual novel got Wu Yishi into trouble, let me describe it as you opened a book, and it turned out that the book was written in pinyin. You were a little curious, so you read it subconsciously, and the result is this The book is actually a little yellow book!Then the person you like is still next to you!

awsl!Social death scene!

--------------------------

Finally, a little digression can be regarded as a confession of recent mentality problems.

First of all, it is about the sixth day, so let’s just give up.

How should I put it...Because I feel that my writing may not be very mainstream, and I also have many shortcomings, but I want to improve my grades, so I am a little anxious, wondering if the sixth day can bring improvement to this article.

Today is Saturday, I feel very unsatisfactory as I wrote it, and deleted it all. It is not what I want at all, and it will spoil the article I like.

In the past two days, I have reflected on my mentality and recalled my original intention and touch of writing this article.

In the end, I decided to give up on the sixth day, follow my own pace, and try to maintain the characteristics of this article from beginning to end.

So I really really appreciate every little angel who is willing to read my article. Seeing everyone’s comments and discussions, I feel that I still have endless motivation. I will definitely rush, because at that time I wanted to cut my own legs and write something cool for myself. I didn’t even have an advance receipt, and I just published it directly. I didn’t expect it to be my best one (that’s what I said. Only wrote two articles).

To sum up, the number of words updated every day is still a single chapter. Anyway, I usually don’t have less than 3k words. Most of the time, the daily update basically still has a weight of around 5k.

In fact, I can't believe that I wrote so much last month. After entering v, the average is almost the same as that of Riliu.Cough cough, so everyone thinks that I am Sun Six!

————————————————————————————————————————————感谢在2020-09-0223:44:50~2020-09-0321:45:38期间为我投出霸王票或灌溉营养液的小天使哦~

Thanks to the little angel who threw mines: 2 pieces of a lonely lemon essence; 1 piece of Daisy Johnson;

Thanks to the little angels of irrigation nutrient solution: 20 bottles of Livisia; 10 bottles of Xiaxi; 2 bottles of Shefia; 1 bottle of Aliu and Yanluo;

Thank you very much for your support, I will continue to work hard!