between men and women

No.70 six posts

Life seems to be back to how it was before.Although I was still worried about gains and losses, and I didn't know what Peng Zhiran said about the consideration of the future, but at least I didn't continue to quarrel with him.After all, I love him very much.

Repeating the days of going back on Friday and coming back on Sunday, fortunately but with a different feeling.

I used to worry that if I wasn't by Peng Zhiran's side, he would stop loving me one day.But the truth is, the brief meeting made us cherish each other even more.

Peng Zhiran is a Gemini.The character of this constellation is born with two sides, angels and devils always exist in his soul at the same time.When he was young, he was playful, but he worked very hard. He liked freedom, but he yearned for the warmth of being cared for.Perhaps it was in this way that this long-distance relationship could last at that time.Because he can enjoy unfettered freedom and secretly taste the sweetness of love.

And Peng Zhiran has type B blood.Little B has always been a very selfish blood type, and sometimes he does not care about the feelings of the people around him, just like he would naturally buy a lovers seat while watching a movie, and kiss me in a dark place.Later, I thought, that period of time like lovers on weekends may be the period of time we should be most grateful for.Being young and immature and impulsive at that age allowed us to go about our workdays as normal people without arousing any suspicions.Perhaps, it was those years that prolonged our passion for love, and also allowed our love to avoid the possible harm caused by not knowing how to cover up in the fragile years that have just begun to grow.

Many years later, when we talked about those years, Peng Zhiran, who was getting older and could no longer bear my business trip for a week, said with emotion that if I were sent out now, the ending might be completely different.I smiled and asked him why, he looked at me and said, "I don't think I will be able to hold on. I am old, so I want to see you every day."

I like his way of talking about love, which erases the enthusiasm of the youth but carries the warmth of the years.When I said that, we were 32 years old.Actually, it's not too old.

Compared with Peng Zhiran of the Gemini, as a Sagittarius, I was not as free and easy as him.

Because of the sensitivity in my natural personality, I have always been very insecure.

The incompleteness of my family when I was a child caused me to not really believe in love, but I was very eager for love.So when love really comes, the mentality of worrying about gains and losses is particularly serious.I want to be happy, but I feel that happiness is a fairy tale.

But having known Peng Zhiran for so many years, I know that he is not the kind of patient person.Maybe I told him the first time and the second time that I am not happy here because without you, he will comfort me on the phone, maybe I will say I love you over and over again, but I know if I keep repeating my heart He would scold me for moaning out of nothing.

So I can only divert my attention with other things.

After a long time, I sometimes find it hard to understand why I was so mentally miserable at the beginning.And Peng Zhiran would laugh at me many years later when I was annoyed by his management and clamoring for my freedom, saying how free you were when you were sent abroad, but why didn't you write me a letter to me? Said you were dying of pain?Yes, at that time I even felt that words could no longer express my feelings, so I started writing letters to him, although only a few letters were actually sent to him later.But at the time I felt really depressed mentally.

Sagittarius is a person who pays great attention to the spiritual world, and the emptiness in his soul is his greatest source of pain.It's like if a shooter is being playful, it's because he hasn't found the real SoulMate, but once he finds it, he will be very infatuated.My pain at that time came from the fact that the person I loved was not by my side.It's not his fault, it's the distance between me and him.

Distance produces beauty, but it brings me more pain.This pain was deeply engraved into my bone marrow, so that every time I went to karaoke and listened to Liang Jingru's "Missing is a pain that can breathe", I could empathize with it.

So then I got my ears pierced.This should be one of the methods of transferring pain.Ease mental pain with physical pain.

The first ear piercing was done at a gold shop.Gold shops at that time didn't buy their earrings, and they could also pay to make holes.

The salesperson was a little surprised when she saw that I wanted to make holes, but at the end of the 90s, the punk style was on the rise, and there were girls with several holes in their ears, so she didn't make a fuss and asked me if I wanted to make one or two.

I said I only hit one, and I hit the right side.

At that time, I didn't know which side of the ear piercing was the same as the left or the right, so I didn't think about it at all.At that time, it was only because my hair was slanted to the right, and the hair on the right temple was a little longer, which could slightly cover the earring.After all, I still have to consider the influence in the unit.

When the earrings pass through the earlobe, they are like being shot with an air gun.After a moment of pain, there was a feeling of numbness, but I felt an inexplicable relaxation at that moment.This principle is likely to be the same as the feeling of a self-abuse person. The moment of physical suffering, the spirit gets a certain relief.It's as if that wound is an outlet for your soul, and from that wound, a little bit of the repressed part of you goes away, and you get a breather.But the act can be addictive.

When I went back to Peng Zhiran on the weekend and saw my newly pierced ears, he was very angry.On the one hand, I am angry with my waywardness, without considering the consequences.You must know that in our system, mavericks will have no future.On the other hand, because I can't take care of it, my earlobe is inflamed.

Inflamed earlobes are annoying, red and swollen and painful to the touch.Peng Zhiran used chlortetracycline eye ointment and alcohol cotton to disinfect me, but every time I took off the earring, the pierced ear would suffer another round of devastation and bleeding.He told me to simply take off the earrings and let the holes grow by themselves.

I don't want to, I said you can't understand why I got my ears pierced.

He looked at me for a while, came up to kiss me, and said I know, I understand, you are not happy, your eyes are sadder than before.

Later, my ears were not good, so he had no choice but to ask a female colleague, who said that he could find a thicker tea stick to plug in the ear hole, so that it would be convenient to apply the medicine without having to take it up and down, and the ear hole would not be re-opened. plug up.

As a result, he poured out the entire pot of tea leaves issued by the company, just to find me a tea stem.While looking for it, I scolded: "Is the method of transferring pain? Next time you feel pain again, tell me, I will beat you up and you will not be in pain anymore!" But he still painted my ears lightly.

I was greedy for the feeling of being cared for by him, and then I went to get two ear piercings.When the third one finished, he got really angry and pressed me against the wall once, until I begged for mercy before letting go, saying that if you dare to make holes in your ears again, I will stuff you with something Later, believe it or not!

I had no choice but to say that I didn’t dare anymore, never dared again.

On his birthday in [-], it was the rainy season in this city.

His birthday is not a weekend, and he called me when it was about to arrive, and he was a little disappointed on the phone, saying: "Chen Jia, my birthday is coming soon, but the person I love can't accompany me. Tell me, he Will you come with me?"

I said no, he was busy and had to work.

The day before his birthday, a typhoon raged. I bought a train ticket at noon and asked for leave to go back to celebrate his birthday.Walking on the road, the rain was so heavy that I couldn't even hold an umbrella. When I got home, it was after three o'clock in the afternoon. I was soaked and before I had time to change my clothes, he called and said, "Chen Jia, you didn't come back. Right. It’s raining so hard, if you want to surprise me and come back to celebrate my birthday, cancel it.”

I said, don't be so sentimental. Did I tell you that I would come back to celebrate your birthday? An idiot would come back in such heavy rain.He said on the other end of the phone, oh, it's good that you didn't come back, his voice was very lonely.I also said, it’s raining so hard, don’t go anywhere at night, go home early.Then hung up the phone.

Then I changed my clothes and went out to buy groceries and cakes.When I got home, I was drenched again.

When the rice was almost ready, I heard the door open.He walked in dejectedly and put the umbrella on the ground. When he looked up, he saw me holding the cake and looking at him.Surprisingly, he rushed up and hugged me for a meal, the cake was almost knocked over by him, I hurriedly protected the cake and said, "Don't get excited, don't get excited, I went out to buy it in the rain this afternoon, don't knock it over."

He said: "Chen Jia, I love you more than you can imagine..."