between men and women

No.70 four posts

On the day I went to report to the neighboring city, I didn't ask Peng Zhiran to send it off.Because there were a lot of things, it was the train station where my stepfather drove me to.I went to report on the same train as well as the accountants of two other branches, who looked a little older than me by a year or two, a man and a woman, the man named Tang Xia and the woman named Zhong Yanping.

When we arrived at around [-]:[-] p.m., people from the branch office at the train station came to pick us up and put us in the apartment we rented in advance.The two apartments are next door. Tang Xia and I live in a small two-bedroom apartment, and Zhong Yanping lives in a one-bedroom apartment next door.The house is very clean, and all daily necessities are complete.

After I arrived, I didn't call Peng Zhiran, I just tidied up the room, called Tang Xia and Zhong Yanping, and went out for dinner.During the meal, Peng Zhiran called. He probably waited for my call to come and asked me how I was doing. I said everything was fine. Now I will call you later after dinner, and then hung up.

After dinner, I went back to take a shower and read a book on the bed for a while, but I didn't call him back.He called at around ten o'clock. I had just turned off the lights at that time, but I didn't know why I pretended to be in a daze and groaned twice. After hearing this, he was silent for a while, and then said You are tired, so go to bed early.

Then I didn't call him for a whole week afterwards.

On the one hand, it is really busy.When I first arrived there, a lot of things had to be sorted out, summarized, and entered into the system, and there were a lot of forms.On the other hand I know I'm messing around.

In fact, I also know that the matter of my transfer is a certainty, and it is useless to complain, but when I tell him about this matter, I just want to hear him complain with me, and then say I don't want you to go either, I will miss your sweet words or other sweet words, but he didn't say anything but said it doesn't matter.This doesn't look like a person in love.

Looking back now, it seems that he never said he loves me, he never even said that he likes me, even when announcing that we started, he only said "you are mine" to express possession That's all.I even wonder now how much he loves me. Is it just because he is obsessed with sex? Otherwise, why didn't I contact him, and he didn't take the initiative to contact me?

I don't know why, but once this thought arises, it can't go away.On the one hand, I was tormented by the thought of him, and on the other hand, I had doubts about love.As a result, I was physically and mentally exhausted for a week.

During the weekend Tang Xia and Zhong Yanping asked me if I would go back.I panicked in my heart, but still shook my head and said that I would not go back this week.

Tang Xia and Zhong Yanping left on Friday.In order to take care of us expatriates, the company usually let us go early on Friday afternoon.When I returned to my empty two-bedroom apartment on Friday, I didn't even bother to take a shower, so I went straight to sleep.

Before I woke up the next morning, the electric bell rang like a death call.I went out sleepily and looked through the cat's eyes for a long time, but I couldn't see anything, as if someone outside the door blocked the cat's eyes with their hands. "Who is it~" I complained, and then opened the door. Standing at the door was a dissatisfied Peng Zhiran. As soon as he saw me, he threw the bag in his hand over, poked my head with a finger and closed the door with his backhand: "Are you alert?" Sex? You can’t see who it is from the cat’s eyes, so how can you open the door casually? What if it’s a criminal or a criminal? You just open the door? Living outside alone has no basic security awareness!”

When I first saw him, I was actually a little surprised, but he was like this when he first saw me, and I couldn't help but sullen and muttered unhappily: "Where are there so many bad people, and besides, I don't live alone."

He was taking off his shoes, and when he heard this sentence, he paused and glanced into the room, and asked, "You don't live alone? Who else? Where are you?"

"I went back for the weekend." I threw his bag on the loveseat in the living room.

Only then did he relax a little and went to the kitchen to pour water: "Then you are alone on weekends!" After drinking the water, he came over and looked at me: "Still talk! Next time let me find that you don't look at the cat's eyes before opening the door, just look at me!" How can I deal with you!"

I was unhappy this week. Even though I was a little pleasantly surprised when I saw him today, but now he scolded me, and I was very upset. I raised my chin and looked at him provocatively: "How do you clean up?" Me? How do you want to deal with me?"

He blinked, and suddenly came up and pushed me onto the loveseat sofa. I immediately stood up to resist, but he sat down on the sofa, hugged me by the waist, and pressed me face-to-face on his knees , raised his hand and spanked my ass: "I'm telling you to make trouble, I'm telling you to make trouble for no reason!"

I yelled and writhed and struggled: "Peng Zhiran, you are sick! Let go!"

The next moment, he was turned over, pressed into the sofa and kissed.

I admit that the moment he kissed me, I couldn't hold it back anymore. The suppressed longing in my heart immediately surged up like a tide, occupying all my pores, and my body also responded honestly.At that moment, I suddenly wanted to cry, and felt wronged, Peng Zhiran, you bastard!

After kissing for a long time, he left my lips, stroked my hair with his hands, pressed against me, and kissed my earlobe: "Are you angry with me, making trouble with me? What's the matter? Why did I make you unhappy? gone?"

I didn't answer, I moved my butt in embarrassment, and just asked: "Peng Zhiran, do you love me?"

He nodded: "Yes." He began to kiss my neck.

I dodged and pushed him away: "Don't just say yes, say you love me."

He seemed to realize something, stopped, looked at me, sighed, and rubbed the tip of my nose: "You're thinking about it again, aren't you? I love you, of course I love you. Idiot, is it because you transferred me? I miss you, I didn’t say I miss you, so you’re unhappy? But that’s your job, what right do I have to make irresponsible remarks. You don’t even know how pitiful I am when you’re not here this week. I don't have anything to eat, so I can only go back to my parents' house to eat. So you see, you didn't come home yesterday, so I had no choice but to join you." After speaking, he looked at me pitifully and pecked my lips.

In an instant, my heart was overwhelmed, and it suddenly became cold.I was already a little soft-hearted by his two words of loving me, but his sentence "what right do I have to make irresponsible remarks" suddenly touched my nerves.Pushing him away and sitting up, I touched a cigarette from the coffee table, lit it and asked coldly: "Does my existence only lie in cooking for you? Peng Zhiran, you said you love me, but deep down in your heart Have you considered us as one, have you ever thought about our future?"

No.70 five posts

I think I finally know what I've been missing these days, what's wrong with me.It's not just that Peng Zhiran didn't say that he loved me, that he didn't say that I would miss you and other sweet words.On the surface, it was just a sentence, but deep down, it represented whether he regarded us as an individual.

A man who has a relationship with a woman, even if he doesn't think about it forever, will normally treat that woman as his own person, take that woman under his wings, have the idea of ​​protecting her from the wind and rain, and look at her affairs. It's your own thing to do, it's the male hormones.

But we are different.I am male.Even if he loves me, even if we already have a relationship, in his concept men and men are still independent individuals.Just like good brothers and buddies, you can talk about everything, but you can't interfere too much.Because he never thought that his life would be bound up with a man one day, so deep down in his heart he still felt that he was him and I was me.Once something important happens, his mentality will immediately return to the position of a good friend, thinking that he has no right to influence my affairs, even if it is just a symbolic statement that I will miss you.And not like me because I was the one who fell in love first, because I want to tie my life to him forever, so I need him to feel what I feel, to be happy with my joy, and to be in pain with my pain.

This is our most fundamental difference.

And this difference will not be exposed at all when it is gluey, but once an emergency occurs, it will be revealed.

Peng Zhiran didn't expect that I would ask him that, so he was silent for a while.

I took another puff of the cigarette, snuffed out the butt irritably, picked up his bag and walked into the room.

All day long, he watched football and I read books, the two of us sat on the loveseat but hardly spoke.I randomly made some quick-frozen dumplings at noon. I'm not interested in cooking at night, so I said go out to eat.

I found a decent restaurant in the local area, and picked a seat by the window. Outside was the famous Jiangnan lake, and the seats by the window were basically men and women in love.

I ordered some famous local dishes, and then talked with him about trifles while eating.

The table behind me is a pair of lovers who are preparing to get married. I probably just went to see the wedding ring today. The man said, "Why don't you buy that diamond ring? It costs more than 8000, and it's more than [-] cents. It's okay."

The woman said: "No need, just the pair of rings. They are pretty and unique. There are also two small diamonds on the women's ring."

The man said, "But I know you like that one."

The woman said: "There are still a lot of places to spend money. Decoration and furniture are all money. Rings, wait until you make a lot of money and then buy me a one-carat one!"

The man was probably very moved. After a while I heard him say in a low voice, "Honey, I love you."

I lowered my eyes and nose, my hair was sore, and I ate food in silence.Normal people are so happy, they can buy rings, discuss marriage matters, and say I love you in public.

Peng Zhiran took a look at me and held the fish with chopsticks for me.

I was ready to go back after dinner.On the weekends, there are couples who come out to shop and talk about love on the road. Normally, I might think it’s nothing, but these two days I’m in a bad mood, especially when I can’t see the love of others.

But Peng Zhiran wanted to drag me to the movies.I ran to the cinema and picked a movie at random. Peng Zhiran bought a ticket and went to buy a bucket of popcorn and handed it to me.I looked at him: "I just finished eating, how can I eat?"

He stuffed it to me: "It's okay, eat slowly."

After I went in, I realized that this guy actually bought the last row of couple booths!

Looking at the half-wrapped seat with no armrests in the middle, like a double sofa, I looked at him: "How do I buy this?" The people in the front row who were looking for a seat heard the voice and looked up at us.

He pulled me to sit down, and said indifferently: "There are no good seats in front, so let's go here."

The lights dimmed at this time, and the scene was about to begin, so I had to sit down.

The movie is a bit boring, anyway, I don't have any memory now, I don't remember the names, actors or anything, I only vaguely remember that it seems to be a Hong Kong movie.Although I said that I couldn't eat popcorn after eating, I still stuffed it into my mouth unconsciously.Seeing that I was eating happily, Peng Zhiran stretched out his hand to grab it from the side, and muttered, "Didn't you say you couldn't eat it?"

I ignore him.

After watching it for a while, he muttered: "I should buy another Coke, I'm so thirsty."

I glanced at him: "Then go out and buy now."

"Forget it, it's too troublesome." He said, suddenly leaned over to kiss my mouth, stuck his tongue in to stir it, and took a sip of saliva along the way, "That's all right."

I looked at him in shock, what did this guy do just now?

He went back to watch the movie as if nothing had happened, and found that I was standing still. He smiled and stretched out his arms to hug me, leaned over and whispered in my ear: "I love you. I will seriously think about things in the future. Although I don't say it often, but I really love you."