between men and women

Write before reading:

I have always only written ancient stories, and I always feel that the reality is already cruel, why don't people live in a masculine way.

It wasn't until the day when I realized that next year would be the tenth anniversary of my brother's departure that I suddenly felt that although the reality is cruel,

But there are still many beautiful and warm things in life that we should miss,

Those of the same age that we are fortunate enough to meet and meet in this lifetime,

They are all worthy of our gratitude and remembering, so I decided to write this story.

It may have happened, or it may not have happened, no matter which one, it brings my nostalgia for that era.

first post

I don't know what he dreamed about in the middle of the night last night, and he said "no" in his sleep, with a very sad voice. I knew he was dreaming again, so I touched his arm in the dark, comforted him a little, and moved over to snuggle him.After a minute or so, he woke up, turned on the light, scratched my nose, and went to the bathroom.I rolled over and turned my back on him, felt him back on the bed, then leaned over and kissed me, turned off the light and went to sleep.

When he woke up the next morning, he stared at me in the morning light, saw me open my eyes, and asked me with a smile, "What did you hear last night?"

I shook my head, then got into his arms, put my head on his shoulder, smelled his smell and asked, "What did you dream about yesterday?"

I have always slept very lightly, and his kidneys are not very good, so he has more dreams at night, so I can hear his sleep talk.I remember once a few years ago, I was amused by his sleep talk in the middle of the night.At that time, "Latent" was on the air, and the two of us just waited until the TV was over and bought a set of discs, and watched three or four episodes at home every day.As a result, one night he suddenly sat up and slapped the air, saying, "Stop arguing, I tell you, you go away immediately, I'm done!" I knew he was talking in his sleep again, so I also sat up and wanted to cooperate. With a slap, coax him back to sleep.I always think that when a person is immersed in a dream, especially when he is still talking in his sleep, it is not good for his health to be interrupted suddenly, and he will feel particularly tired when he wakes up the next day.I don't know if this concept is right or not.So I wanted to cooperate with him, and said: "Yes, I understand. Go to sleep." Then I held back a smile and pulled him.After hearing this sentence, he seemed to withdraw from the dream, closed his eyes for a while, then lay down obediently and fell asleep again, until dawn.

When I woke up the next day, I told him the story and asked him what he dreamed about.As a result, he said that he dreamed that he became an underground party, a double agent.I made fun of him for more than a week afterward.

Although many of his sleep talks later had no substantive content, sometimes it was just a shout, but I still enjoyed it every time and asked him what he dreamed the night before the next day. It seems that I am with him all the time, even in dreams.Of course, most of the time he doesn't remember the dream of the night before, except for one time he gritted his teeth and said that I finally took a fancy to a windbreaker last night, why didn't you buy it for me, and then foolishly told me Angry for a day.When I was eating in the evening, I tapped his bowl with chopsticks and asked, "Are you finished getting angry?" Then I looked at him amusedly, and he said with red ears shyly and shyly, "He is really angry when he wakes up in the morning. A windbreaker is the kind that people want all the time, and you just drag me away and refuse to buy it for me." When he said that, he didn't have the usual capable appearance at all, just like a puppy I raised, Really super cute.

I looked at him, with eyes full of liking, liking this person, liking him, liking seeing him every day, liking getting into his arms every morning like now, and asking him: "What did you dream about last night? "

But if it was more than ten years ago, I don't think I would have dreamed that we would have this day.

In the early 90s, I dared not admit that I was gay.

second post

I met him in [-].

That year we were admitted to the same vocational school, where we lived in the school and majored in accounting.Our class was the only class in the school with an imbalanced male-to-female ratio, because it was the first time that this vocational school offered this major and accepted accounting students.There are only 32 students in the class, and there are only ten bald heads, not even enough for a football team.

Since there are few boys and we live on campus, after half a month of military training, the ten bald heads of us have gotten to know each other pretty well.But to be honest, I didn't distinguish him from another boy at first.Because both of them are tall and thin, wearing a pair of gold-rimmed glasses.At that time, it was not like it is now. Everyone liked to wear glasses made of plates, and those who were short-sighted had gold wire edges.Later, when I told him that I couldn't tell who you were from that so-and-so at the beginning, he still laughed at me, saying that I didn't know anything, and his pair was Nojiri.I'm not short-sighted, so I don't know anything about Nojiri, so I just made a couple of perfunctory noises.

Because there are many girls in our class, during the military training, those seniors like to lie in front of the window of the teaching building to watch our freshman military training, and then point to our class, saying which girls are good-looking.By the time the military training was over, the seniors had already arranged the top five in the class in order.Immediately afterwards, every night before the evening self-study, a group of seniors stood guard at the stairs and the back door of the floor where our class was located, whistling or calling the girls they liked until the teacher on duty came to chase them away.

This kind of thing is commonplace, and we are all used to it, so when someone called my name and kicked the door at the back door that day, the whole class was silent.

I know I'm too pretty.My childhood idol was Jimmy Lin.When I was in junior high school, Jimmy Lin's cassettes sold for [-] yuan. Every time he released a new cassette, I would ask my mother for money to buy it.In [-], when Jimmy Lin was the most popular, some of my classmates only had five yuan a month in pocket money.It can be seen that I was willing to spend a lot of money at that time.

At that time, I not only bought his cassettes, but also his stickers. When I really ran out of money, I mixed with a few good male classmates among the girls who bought stickers, and stole a few when the boss was not paying attention.I even made my hair look like his for a while, but a girl looked at me and joked jealously: "Chen Jia, you look so delicate, if it was a woman, then we would have no way out."

I smiled and immediately went to cut my hair.In fact, they don't know, I don't want to hear others compare me to a woman, because since the sixth grade of elementary school, I have discovered that I actually like men.

third post

The reason is that when I was in sixth grade, a girl wrote me a love letter.

I have received the attention of many girls since I was a child, and I have received love letters not once or twice.But the girl who wrote me the love letter that time was a girl that the boy sitting behind me liked.He watched with his own eyes the girl stuff the letter into my drawer during recess, watched me discover the letter while picking up books in class, and watched me tear up the letter after reading it.According to my usual style, I would not tear up the love letter from a girl on the spot.I usually take it back and then destroy it.But that girl's letter that day was a little too much. In order to attract my attention, she slandered many other girls who showed good intentions to me for no reason. The whole letter was almost slandering others and exalting herself. Tore up on the spot.However, the boy sitting behind me didn't know what to do. He got angry on the spot when he saw it. He felt that I didn't respect the girl he liked and trampled on her pure heart, so he beat me up.I didn't explain a word, just punched him, and the two of us started fighting in class.

The two of us were punished by the teacher to stand for a whole day that day.As a result, when I dragged my legs back home that day, I found that there was an extra woman in our family. When my mother saw me, she cried and hugged me, and then asked: "Xiaojia, my father is going to divorce my mother and marry this woman. Are you willing?" With mom or with your father and stepmother?"

In one day, I saw women's unscrupulous methods twice, and I have avoided women since then.But I really understood that I like men. It was in the second half of the sixth grade that I met a substitute math teacher who was transferred to take us for the last half of the semester.

It's been so long that I have forgotten his name.It seems that the surname is Wang.

I remember that our former math teacher was an old man, surnamed Shen, with the word PI in his name.Because the pronunciation of this word is the same as that of fart, the whole class likes to call him old man fart, but in fact he is a very virtuous teacher.

In the second half of our sixth grade, the fart old man got cancer. He was found out in class when he collapsed in pain and was sent to the hospital. It was already in an advanced stage when he was found out.Later, his class was replaced by a teacher Wang who had just graduated from a normal school. Because he took over halfway, no other teacher was willing to come.This young boy who had just graduated from the normal school was pushed into our class in this way.

I don't know if the current little G knows his sexual orientation very early. Anyway, I didn't realize it at that time except for an inexplicable disgust towards girls.To be honest, homosexuality at that time was also very low-key, and I had never even heard of this term.I just thought this new teacher was young and mature (mature than me then) and fell in love with him.

It was a hazy feeling, and I felt that even the math class became cute.In order to attract his attention, I even had to solve a geometry problem in two ways. I was very happy when I heard him praise me, and my enthusiasm for mathematics was unprecedentedly high.Once I took the 94 exam, when he handed out the papers, he looked at me and said, "Chen Jia didn't do well in the exam this time, did he watch too much TV?" I was almost told to cry by him.

But even so, I didn't feel that I was abnormal, until I frequently found various excuses to chat with him, almost even inquiring about his hobbies, and he accidentally woke me up with a sentence.He said: "Xiao Jia, other students like to get close to young and beautiful female teachers, but you are different from them, you always like to get me."

I realized in an instant that I was a little abnormal.