you have to talk to me

Feng Jimeng stayed in Hongcheng when he was a child until he was more than four years old. He still remembers the first time he went to Shenzhen to study, and it was his father's manager and a little boy who picked him up at the airport.

The little boy was a little shorter than him, very beautiful, not only dressed in a very foreign style, but also looked as delicate as a doll, which made Feng Jimeng, who had just come from the county, a little ashamed.

His father's manager told him that the little boy was his son, named Fang Yi, who was the same age as Feng Jimeng, and both of them would go to the same school in the future, and they would be friends from now on.Feng Jimeng passively made his first friend, but he soon fell in love with Fang Yi sincerely.

Feng Jimeng has been bored since she was a child, introverted, and doesn't like to talk.But this Fang Yi is just the opposite, he loves to talk and laugh, warm and sweet-mouthed, and is very likable, even the picky Feng Changxiong and the eccentric He Xianglan like him very much.

It was the first time for Feng Jimeng to come to such a strange city, to live with parents who were not close to her, and to go to a kindergarten with foreigners.He cries every day, and even the teacher gets impatient with coaxing him.Fang Yi couldn't coax him to cry, but no matter what he did, Feng Jimeng, who was shedding tears, was always with him.He let Feng Jimeng find a sense of security for the first time in a completely unfamiliar place.

The two became inseparable shortly after they met. When his parents were too busy to take care of him, he ate and slept at Fang Yi's house.It was precisely because of being with Fang Yi that he made friends and gradually integrated into the new environment.

Growing up together like this, Feng Jimeng regarded Fang Yi as his best friend. At that time, he didn't know what homosexuality and heterosexuality were. Fang Yi had a very simple friend's liking and attachment to Fang Yi.

When he was in the fourth and fifth grades, the conflict between Feng Changxiong and He Xianglan intensified. When they met, they quarreled and even fought.When he was out of breath, he would confide in his best friend, revealing nothing but his own feelings, and some conclusions he deduced from the source of his parents' quarrel - when his mother was pregnant with him, His father also has a wife.It wasn't until he was about to be born that his father divorced his former wife and married his mother.

Fang Yi comforted him for a long time, Feng Jimeng thought with relief, at least he still has friends who understand him.

But he didn't expect that the next day, the news that his mother was a junior and stepped into the upper class spread all over the school.Feng Jimeng will always remember those eyes that make people feel angry, and the pain of being stabbed in the heart by his favorite and most trusted friend. He doesn't even have the courage to confront Fang Yi.

He didn't understand why Fang Yi did that, he never did anything to hurt the other party, and Fang Yi never showed any dislike for him.One second before his friendship world, the sky was clear and the sky was full of spring, and the next second it was the end of the world.

It didn't take long for this matter to reach his parents' ears, and He Xianglan beat him up severely.But the matter didn't end there. Shortly afterwards, Feng Changxiong used this as an excuse to send him and his mother back to Hongcheng.During that time, his mother was very emotionally unstable, it would be easy to scold him when she went crazy, and blamed all the mistakes on Feng Jimeng.

Although now Feng Jimeng knew that it was not his fault, but that his father had already hooked up with the new mistress at that time, and he couldn't wait to drive him and his mother away to make room for them.But in fact, for a long time after that, Feng Jimeng thought it was his fault.Not only his mother was sent back to her hometown, but also his father's first wife. If it wasn't for him, they wouldn't have divorced, and his mother wouldn't have become a mistress.

In the past two years, Feng Jimeng has figured out some things, but he has never been able to figure out the reason why Fang Yi did that.For a long time, he was afraid of making friends, afraid of being called by his name, and he didn't want to talk to people, let alone let anyone know him.Later, I realized that not everyone would be like that, but I was used to closing myself up and not wanting to communicate with others.

Now Feng Jimeng also feels that there is nothing wrong with the conclusion drawn from this matter, making friends is risky, the closer you get to people, the greater the risk.What Zhang Jiarui saw accidentally also just confirmed this point.

What kind of risk he has to take actually depends on what kind of person the other party is.

Zhang Jiarui slammed his chopsticks: "What kind of fucking idiot is this?"

Naturally, Feng Jimeng would not tell Zhang Jiarui about the dirty things at home, but just used an analogy, telling Zhang Jiarui that he came out to a friend who had been playing with since he was a child, and the whole school knew about it the next day.

"Brother Meng, don't worry, I won't tell anyone a word of what you told me today."

Feng Jimeng nodded, finished the last sip of soup, put down the bowl, and said, "Let's go after eating."

Zhang Jiarui looked at him for a while: "You...Is it because of this incident that you...don't talk to others?"

"I don't even like to talk."

"Oh."

"What about you?" Feng Jimeng looked at Zhang Jiarui, "Do you have any idea if you know I'm gay?"

"Hey, what's the matter, as long as you don't gay me, we will always be good brothers, hehe!"

"You think highly of yourself." Feng Jimeng smiled helplessly, but in Zhang Jiarui's eyes, this smile was full of sarcasm.

"I suddenly found that you look a little more human when you are expressionless."

Feng Jimeng didn't buy it, but instead smiled: "What did you think at the beginning, that you cared so much about a person with an expressionless face."

Zhang Jiarui touched the back of his neck, feeling a little embarrassed: "Hey, I don't like... I admire you."

"Ok?"

"I just think you are cool, just earrings, tattoos and so on." Zhang Jiarui rubbed his neck with embarrassment, "And with a cold and heartless face, really...you know that not everyone can live I can only look at the envy of others for the appearance I imagined."

"...Do you imagine yourself to be like me?"

"It's just in imagination, it can't be done in reality," Zhang Jiarui touched his baby face and sighed, "I'm so cute."

"..."

"...It's really cute. Many people say that, don't you think?"

"I'm going to think you're cute, isn't that bad?"

"...Hehehehe, yes."

The two of them came out of the snack bar without embarrassment. After walking two steps, Feng Jimeng suddenly asked: "How about I take you to get earrings done tomorrow?"

Zhang Jiarui was suddenly a little frustrated: "Forget it, my mother will worry about nothing when she sees it." He glanced at Feng Jimeng, "Your parents are really enlightened."

Feng Jimeng didn't show any expression or speak.

Zhang Jiarui is the youngest son in the family, and he has an older brother and a older sister, who are already very fond of him at work and married, so he is especially favored.The family opened a bun shop, and the business is very good, but the morning business is also tiring.His parents are both old, but they never let him interfere with the business of the shop, and let him just study hard.He studied hard, felt sorry for him being tired, and said that his grades were almost enough, so don't tire yourself out.Despite this, he was admitted to Hongzhong and entered the rocket class, and his parents showed off to the neighbors all over again.

His parents cared for him in every possible way, and everything went according to his wishes, so that he didn't even have the opportunity or excuse to rebel.Over time, this even made him feel a sense of guilt. This sense of guilt made him understand early on, and he became a child of other people's family who could be used as a template. So he envied Feng Jimeng's reckless behavior, envied him cruelty and rebellion.

"Or I'll take you to get a tattoo, which can be placed where your mother can't see it."

Zhang Jiarui's eyes lit up: "Really? Does the tattoo hurt?"

"A little."

"Where do you think my text is?"

"Chest, stomach, thighs and back, these are places that others can't see. You have to choose where to put the text according to the picture you want to write. You can ask the teacher who made the picture when the time comes."

"You understand." Zhang Jiarui glanced at Feng Jimeng several times, "I saw tattoos on your waist when you were playing, didn't you?"

"Ah."

Zhang Jiarui leaned over, as if to reach out to cover Ji Meng's clothes: "Show me."

Feng Jimeng pushed Zhang Jiarui's hand away, and frowned: "Which one of us is crooked?"

"If I'm crooked, the two of us must have digested it internally, and we will deal with Jian Hang and his wife together." Zhang Jiarui only stopped for a day, and the habit of hooking shoulders and backs returned.

As soon as he reached out his hand, Feng Jimeng was already very experienced, and slapped him open accurately.

"Whoever digests with you internally, you think too much."

"I'm not as good as that old man?"

Of course Feng Jimeng knew who the so-called "old man" was referring to, so she thought about it for a while: "You can't even compare to a toe."

"……Depend on!"

"Your car is here, get out of here." Feng Jimeng kicked him into the car, turned around and let out a sigh of relief, he hadn't spoken so much for a long time, he was tired.

After returning home and finishing her homework, Feng Jimeng took out her mobile phone and turned to the chat interface with Yang Fan. The content on it was still discussing about her birthday three days ago.He was embarrassed and embarrassed to look for Yang Fan, why did he not look for him for several days.

Feng Jimeng couldn't bear it anymore, and made a dazed expression.He read the book restlessly for a while, but the other party didn't reply.

Moe: Brother, I’m sorry that night, did you send your pants to be laundered?Or throw it away?

Moe: How about I buy you a new one.

After sending these messages, Feng Jimeng went to take a shower, but when he came back, there were still only three messages from him.

Feng Jimeng looked at the time, logically speaking, Yang Fan was still awake at this point, but why didn't he reply to his message?Was it because Yang Fan hated the ugliness that night?Feng Jimeng lay on the bed tossing and turning for a long time, but couldn't help sitting up and calling Yang Fan.Once the phone is connected, it is turned off.

This is so strange, Feng Jimeng suddenly had a very disturbing intuition, he didn't care about disturbing at night, so he called Feng Wenhui.

After it rang for a while, Feng Wenhui answered, her voice was very tired.

"I'm bothering you so late, Aunt Feng. I want to ask if you know what's wrong with Yang Fan. He can't get through on the phone."

"Maybe the battery is out. He is in the Affiliated Hospital of Ning City Medical University, and grandma has a cerebral hemorrhage."

"Cerebral hemorrhage, when? Is it serious?"

"It happened the night before yesterday. It's quite serious. It's still being treated in the ICU. Xiao Yang is taking care of her in the hospital. I'll come back to rest first."

The word "cerebral hemorrhage" made Feng Jimeng's heart stop, and then he felt pain.He squeezed the phone tightly and asked, "Why didn't you tell me?"

"It's too busy. Xiao Yang hasn't closed his eyes for two days. Maybe he forgot." Feng Wenhui paused, "If you are free tomorrow, you can take some time to visit grandma in the hospital."