I am in love with myself

Dim street lamps, empty roads, sycamore trees on both sides of the sidewalk with withered branches, and a few dead leaves rustling in the wind.

An Mu just made a joke casually, but Jian Yixi subconsciously stopped.

An Mu's arm was still in hers, and she stopped. An Mu realized something was wrong after taking a step, and stopped to look back at her.

Jian Yixi was a little shorter than her, and was looking at her with her chin raised slightly. The light was covered by the hood, and the dim light traces were cast outside the hat. Jian Yixi's entire face was shadowed in the shadows. There was a trace of light, and the milky white down on the brim of the hat fluttered between the light and shadow, and her soft black and gloomy eyes flickered.

Most of Jian Yixi's eyes are clear and easy to understand, and it is rare to see such a complicated line of sight.

——Did she accidentally say something wrong just now?

"What's wrong?" An Mu asked.

Jian Yixi drooped her eyes, her long curled eyelashes showed hesitation, and it took a long time before she uttered a sentence.

"I'm... female."

— This is nonsensical.

An Mu raised his eyebrows slightly.

——What is she trying to say?

Jian Yixi raised her eyes and took a peek at her, as if to hide her guilty conscience, she held her arm and continued walking forward.

"Do you know what I'm going to say next?"

——Gender female... like men?

This is an old meme to An Mu, but to the 16-year-old Jian Yixi, it is a hot meme that has just begun to become popular, and many classmates often use it as a joke.

However, why did Jian Yixi suddenly mention this?

An Mu pursed her red lips slightly, and her glass-like eyes moved slightly from side to side, with light marks flowing in the bottom of her eyes. As smart as she was, she naturally quickly thought of the last sentence she said.

——Could she have misunderstood something because of that sentence?

--No way?

She remembered that at the age of 16, although she had heard of lily, she knew very little about it, and she would never think of it to herself, unless...

Unless Mao Maohu said something.

An Mu pretended not to understand, and looked at Jian Yixi calmly.

Jian Yixi looked away unnaturally, and the arm that was wrapped around her arm was also withdrawn without showing any trace.

"I'm...female, and I like...male! So...the inner one...do you understand?"

"It's that... I... I've always regarded you as a friend, best friend! Old iron! Best friend! Do you understand?"

An Mu laughed, she really guessed right.

"Why are you always 'hmm'? Do you get it?"

"You mean 'um', do you understand?"

This answer obviously did not satisfy Jian Yixi.

Jian Yixi glanced at her tangled, her unshakable warm smile seemed to hurt Jian Yixi, and Jian Yixi's expression became more and more tangled.

Jian Yixi raised her face and took a deep breath, her coat and hat slipped off, revealing her dark cloud-like hair, her side face and her slender neck were covered with soft warm light.

Turning her head to look at her again, Jian Yixi's clear eyes contained the sea of ​​stars, but let the sea of ​​stars sink to the bottom, the light marks in the eyes were dim, complicated and entangled as before, but with a little more determination to break the boat.

This sound was very formal and solemn, and there was no hint of a joke at all, which made people feel serious.

Jian Yixi turned around, more serious than when she swore never to be separated from her just now.

"I... I have always regarded you as a friend, really the best friend, from the time I can remember to now, and from now on, you will be my best best friend!

I... I have only friendship for you, nothing else, and there can be no other.

I don’t discriminate against homosexuals when I say this. I don’t discriminate. I’m just stating a fact. It’s really impossible for me to like you, not just you. I can’t like all girls. It’s a matter of sexual orientation.

I was not sure if you liked me at first, so I didn't dare to say it, but now I am sure, I have to say, before we get along too long, there is still time for everything.

I don't want to procrastinate until one day I don't even have to be friends.

Can you understand me when I say that?An Mu? "

To put it so bluntly, how low is the IQ to not understand?

It was obvious that Jian Yixi was serious and very serious, but An Mu just wanted to laugh.

Perhaps this is the gap in age, the 28-year-old self looks at the 16-year-old self, just like the 16-year-old self recalls the ten-year-old self.

My ten-year-old self felt that his parents didn't love him just because he was punished for kneeling, so he packed up his bags very seriously, and said goodbye to his friends one by one with a piggy bank in his arms. In the end, he was beaten by his adoptive mother before he could find out where the station was. Catch up and go home.

In the eyes of my 16-year-old self, this is really childish and funny.

In An Mu's eyes, the 16-year-old self was almost the same.

It stands to reason that no matter how much you want to laugh at this time, you have to hold back. Jian Yixi is really worried about it seriously, and she bravely said it after she was really entangled. She attaches great importance to the relationship between them. She should Answer with equal seriousness.

But on the contrary, the more serious it is at this moment, the less serious it is to answer, which will only make Jian Yixi doubt the credibility of her answer.

The corners of An Mu's lips curled up, and the smile on his face became even stronger. As the smile deepened, the silkworm that was not so obvious at first appeared vividly in front of his eyes, and the face that was originally cold and cold came alive, as if the ice and snow had just melted, and the peaches and plums were just showing their eyes. Clue.

"I understand, but..."

"But what?"

"But I still like you."

Jian Yixi opened her eyes slightly, her breathing froze for a moment, and she instinctively raised her hand to press on her heart. It took a long time to recover from that breath, her cheeks flushed rapidly visible to the naked eye, and the tips of her ears were bleeding red.

This scene seemed familiar. An Mu remembered the last time he helped Jian Yixi unscrew the coke bottle, and Jian Yixi seemed to have the same reaction.

Had he been suspicious of her since then?

Fortunately, she can hold back until now.

You must have been troubled many times during this time, right?

Is this... the troubles of youth?

Compared to An Mu's calm demeanor, Jian Yixi felt that she was almost gone, and even her breathing was difficult.

"You...you didn't understand? I mean..."

"I understand, you said that you are a straight girl, you can't bend over, and you can't like me."

"Then you still..."

An Mu smiled: "Haven't you heard that sentence? You don't need to like me, but you can't deny my right to like you."

Jian Yixi clutched her heart, her chest heaved violently several times, it was true that she was about to die, she was about to suffocate! ! !

"My... can't we be friends? Friends!"

An Mu saw that the brewing was almost done, and Jian Yixi was about to cry, so she smiled and pressed her forehead lightly.

"Don't be stupid, I have someone I like, not you."

"Really, really?"

Jian Yixi couldn't believe this sudden sharp turn.

"Of course it's true, remember the last V blog I posted in France?"

Jian Yixi pondered for a while, and her eyes lit up.

"You mean that... I'm looking at the scenery, who are you looking at?"

"Yes, I am looking at the scenery here, who do you look at in the scenery, this 'you' is the person I like."

In a similar situation, taking retreat as an advance is more credible than directly denying it seriously, but no matter what you do, you can’t fundamentally get rid of the suspicion, so the best way is to retreat first, and then pull out a seemingly more reliable Spectrum shield, so as to completely remove the suspicion.

Jian Yixi only thought for a moment, and believed it decisively, and then she was stupid.

Isn't this a typical self, creation, excess, affection? !

Jian Yixi was ashamed and embarrassed, pulled her hat to cover her face, lowered her head and walked straight forward, muttering indistinctly.

"It's so embarrassing. I'm really... I... Don't look at me, An Mu, just let me walk for a while, I can't do it, I have never been so embarrassing in my life!"

An Mu smiled and shook his head, and followed her two steps away, stepping on her footsteps, neither far nor near, until Jian Yixi barely suppressed the embarrassment of wanting to die in place.

She stood still, raised her head and sighed exaggeratedly several times.

"Thank you Maomao, you're done, I'll kill you dead girl when I go back!"

It really is nonsense.

An Mu, who was depressed because of her adoptive father's remarks before, swept away the gloom. For the first time in 12 years, she laughed continuously for so long.

Jian Yixi couldn't hear her silent laughter. She finally mustered up the courage to turn around and was about to call An Mu to go with her. Just as she bumped into An Mu's smiling face, she blushed again in the next second and almost didn't stomp After taking small steps, he turned back in embarrassment.

Fortunately, Jian Yixi was rescued by a restaurant on the roadside. The two of them went into the restaurant and ordered two sets of noodles, no cold dishes, and a warm spicy pot, a small pot, just right for the two of them, a few mouthfuls of food , the embarrassment will naturally dissipate.

Talking and laughing all the way back to Jian Yixi's home, the home is not far from the hospital, to be precise, the entire small county is just a little bit bigger than the palm of your hand, and it's not far from where you live.

Back at the home he had been away for a long time, An Mu's heart was faintly touched. Everything he saw was kind, even the rusty courtyard gate was good.

The home is just as in memory, with terrazzo floors, old wooden furniture, and tables full of things, chaotic and orderly.

Jian Yixi tidied up while walking in embarrassment, at least tidied up the sofa to make a place to sit on.

"My house is in chaos, don't hold it against me."

"There is a breath of life in chaos."

Mess does not mean dirty, the adoptive mother is quite diligent, and the house is relatively clean.

Jian Yixi led her into her room. The room remained the same as when she left, but the table was full of empty books, which looked much more orderly than the living room.

Next to the desk was a 1.3-meter-five single bed, the bedding was rolled up and covered with a layer of plastic sheeting.

Jian Yixi rubbed her frozen hands. The house is cold and there is no air conditioner. In winter, it depends on the stove. Today, there is no one at home. The stove has been turned off, and the house is as cold as an ice cellar.

Jian Yixi pulled off the quilt and spread it out, touched the icy quilt, sighed, and turned to look at An Mu.

"Why don't I take you to the hotel, the hotel has air conditioning anyway, it's not cold, and you can take a shower, you can't do it at home."

An Mu was wearing a down cap and a down pocket in his hand. Although it wasn't cold enough to shrink his neck, it was just because he was warm along the way. School uniforms and short skirts didn't keep out the cold at all. Usually, the classrooms are well heated. It doesn't feel cold, it's only two or three steps away from home, and it's not cold, but it's not good here, in such an old house, it won't be long before it freezes to the core.

Most old houses have this problem. It is cold in winter and cooler in summer.

An Mu went over to touch the quilt and found that it wasn't damp. It should have been exposed to the sun during the good weather, otherwise it would have smelled damp after a winter.

"It's okay, just make a warm water bottle."

"The stove is out, and the water cannot be boiled."

"There should be a thermos."

Jian Yixi went to the living room and picked up the familiar big Double Happiness thermos bottle. When it was full, when she opened the cork, thick white steam came out, and the heat preservation effect was not bad.

Jian Yixi was overjoyed.

"I'll make you a warm water bag, the remaining water is just enough for washing, and there are still two sips left to drink."

It was almost twelve o'clock, and they had to get up early tomorrow, so neither of them was idle. An Mu went to the yard to fetch some cold water, and the enamel basin knocked on the ground and rattled.

Over there, Jian Yixi has already made a rubber warm water bag and stuffed it into the bed.

There was not enough water, so I couldn't be particular about it. The two of them made do with the wash and left some to brush their teeth in the morning. The face can use cold water, but the teeth can't.

While her feet were still warm, Jian Yixi urged An Mu to get under the covers.

The warm water bag only warmed a small area around the mouth of the quilt. It was warm when people sat in it, and it took a while to warm their feet when they stepped on the hot water bag.

An Mu didn't lie down right away, but sat on the head of the bed wearing a down jacket, watching Jian Yixi tuck in the close-fitting quilt, and then tuck in the upper air-pressed quilt, then turned around and wanted to leave.

"The light cord is far away, I'll pull it for you directly."

An Mu frowned, "Aren't you sleeping?"

"Sleep, I'll go to my parents' room to sleep."

"not cold?"

Jian Yixi said with a smile: "It's cold if it's cold, if you don't take off your clothes to sleep, you'll be warm after a while."

An Mu ruthlessly exposed: "Impossible, you won't be warm even if you stay warm all night. You can either go to bed or take the warm water bag away."

No one knew himself better than An Mu.

Jian Yixi was born with cold hands and feet. It feels comfortable to touch anyone in summer, but she doesn't want to suffer in winter. She doesn't have a warm water bag, and her feet are frozen all night. It's useless, the socks are not warm.

"I don't need it, you can use it, my parents' quilt is thick and warm."

"It's easy to catch a cold when you sleep with clothes on. What if you catch a cold when you get up tomorrow morning? What if you infect me again? The exam is coming soon."

After a pause, An Mu smiled slightly.

"You don't think I like you, do you?"

As soon as these words came out, Jian Yixi's small body immediately straightened up, her eyelashes were lightly plated, fluttering like butterfly wings in the wind.

"Don't use aggressive methods, it's useless!"

"Okay, I understand, you go to sleep."

The smile on the corners of his lips smoothed, An Mu took off his down jacket and put it on the quilt with a blank expression, took off his uniform and fur vest, and got into bed with only his school uniform and shirt on his back, laying down on the bed, and tucked himself up skillfully Quilted, eyes closed.

"Pull the light."

Jian Yixi tugged on the light cord, but didn't pull it.

——How could turning on the light be the same as admitting that you still don't believe in An Mu?

"That... that bed is too small to fit two people."

An Mu closed her eyes and ignored her. Even if she said she was really afraid that Jian Yixi would catch a cold and infect her, Jian Yixi probably wouldn't believe it.

But it's true.

In her previous life, the most frequent illness she had was a cold, and every time it was a bad memory.

That time when her bra was pulled and water was splashed all over her body, she caught a cold. It was a hot cold, and it took a long time to recover. It took half a month to recover.

What impresses her the most is that during that time, there was no toilet paper to be found, and even if she brought a whole roll of paper, it would be thrown away by someone, either by throwing it directly into the toilet, or throwing it into the sink, or throwing objects from high altitudes, and she was not afraid of hitting people.

They like to watch her uncontrollable physiological snot. Every time she sniffs, a bunch of people laugh, and the class can't stop them from booing.

She was also kicked out of the classroom by the teacher because of this, saying that it affected other students to attend the class.

There were quite a few classmates who bullied her, most of them were booing, the real leaders were only two, both from Class [-], one was from the sports committee, and the other was a classmate who had a good relationship with the sports committee.

They both had a crush on Jian Yihu, and both of them were rejected by Jian Yihu.

Jian Yihu is very good at sowing discord, she deliberately rejected the two of them, inciting them to vent their resentment towards her on her who looks similar.

Not only resentment, but also some disgusting obscene thoughts.

Thinking of this, An Mu thought about that matter again. The unknown is the most dangerous thing. She wasn't sure whether it was accidental or deliberate. She tried her best to keep her position in the elite class, but if she couldn't keep it, she would open up with Jian Yixi Let's talk about it, although Jian Yixi is still immature, she has grown a lot, so it shouldn't be a big problem.

Just as she was thinking, with a click, the light went out, the door closed, and the faint light of the mobile phone came over, Jian Yixi was finally excited, and obediently climbed into bed.

An Mu was lying on the outside, and the bed was already warm. Of course, Jian Yixi couldn't drive her into the cold bed, so she had to climb inside by herself. She took off her short skirt, and wore leggings to pull off the bed to get under the covers. went in.

There was An Mu Nuan's quilt. The quilt was actually very warm, but the bed was so small that it was impossible for two people to lie on their back.

An Mu lay facing the outside, the room was pitch black, only the faint light of Jian Yixi's phone screen.

Jian Yixi warmed up for a while, then she took off all but her shirt and lay down.

The phone screen went off, and the room was completely plunged into darkness.

Jian Yixi lay on her back for a while, feeling crowded. A bug-like chrysalis chrysalis lay on her side facing An Mu.

"Are you still angry?"

"No."

"I really believe in you."

"Don't always 'hmm', I have a psychological shadow."

An Mu was sleepy.

Jian Yixi couldn't sleep.

"Can you tell me? Who do you like?"

—Sleepy, why is she talking so much?

An Mu said, "It's...the one in the scenery."

"Which him?"

How did she know?She had no memory of An Mu.

If she said she was a classmate, Jian Yixi would definitely ask, what should he do when she returns to China?

If it is domestic, Jian Yixi must ask again, where in the country?When is he coming to see you?When are you going to see him?

No matter how you answer, Jian Yixi may ask a lot of questions.

And lies are most afraid of snowballing. The more it rolls, the more it spreads, and there will always be a link that will reveal its truth.

The best way is to tell the least lie and end the topic.

"Don't ask...it's impossible for me and him to be together."

"Ah? Why? Is he... your teacher?"

Teacher-student love is taboo no matter which country you live in.

——Could it be that An Mu helped Qi Liran get revenge just by the way, and she actually transferred due to the pressure of a teacher-student relationship? !

No matter how sleepy An Mu was, he could guess what Jian Yixi was thinking about right now.

"Don't ask, I don't want to talk about it, it's uncomfortable to mention him."

OK, the topic is over.

As expected, Jian Yixi shut her mouth, breathing hot air from the back of her neck, and sighed vaguely, probably because she felt that she had asked a topic that shouldn't be asked.

But in fact, Jian Yixi's mind is in a mess right now.

His eyes adapted to the darkness, and he could vaguely see the back of An Mu's fair neck. Jian Yixi stared at the back of his neck, his mind was full of An Mu and that person, impossible, impossible, impossible...

Why is she a little happy?

A friend is in a hopeless relationship, she should comfort her, what does it mean to be secretly happy?

Was she really that bad?

It is said that girlfriends' love is made of plastic, and girlfriends most despise girlfriends living better than themselves, is it true?

impossible!At least she definitely didn't think so!

Moreover, An Mu is miserable now, so it's not better than her life...

So I actually like to base my happiness on the pain of others?

At the age of 16, the three views are not yet stable, and Jian Yixi almost doubts herself.

No, no, this is wrong. An Mu is sad, she should comfort her, she must comfort her!

An Mu was in a daze and was about to fall asleep. Suddenly, two lumps of softness were pressed against his back. There was a rustling sound of the bedding, and Jian Yixi's arms came over. An Mu's drowsiness from the cold disappeared instantly.

"Don't be sad...you will definitely meet your true destiny."

— Take the ice paws away.