allow you this life

Maybe he hasn't cried for a long time, Zhou Fangran was a little out of breath, looking at everything in He Yan's room, it seemed like a lifetime away.

Death is an inevitable festival, but Zhou Fangran couldn't see him for the last time before he passed away. Zhou Fangran's mood was mixed, but for a moment he felt a little relieved, as if he had let go of what he had never let go of now.

Mother He came in and sat next to Zhou Fangran. They were silent for a long time. She wondered how her son would have such a "deep" friend out of thin air. Yan, she couldn't cry a long time ago. On the day of He Yan's death, her tears were all shed.

"Auntie, where's He Yan's father?" Zhou Fangran looked around, but there was no sign of the male owner of the house.

"I left him. After He Yan left, he couldn't accept it..." Mother He murmured to herself with dull eyes.But she quickly regained her senses, walked to He Yan's desk and bent over to find a notebook from the bottom drawer—He Yan's diary, and put it in Zhou Fangran's hand:

"He Yan has the habit of keeping a diary since he was a child. You know that he is very good at Chinese."

Zhou Fangran nodded, and Mother He's eyes shone brightly. She was proud of her son's excellence, but he was already a different person, and her eyes soon dimmed.

"This is for you." Zhou Fangran looked up at Mother He's old face in surprise, not knowing whether to refuse or accept.

"You take it, He Yan left a lot of things." He's mother was sincere, and Zhou Fangran couldn't refuse, and more importantly, he wanted to keep a memory to remember the time when happiness and sorrow were intertwined.

"Do you know why I will give you this He Yan's diary?" When talking about her son, He's mother's eyes were full of tenderness. She gently stroked the notebook, and Zhou Fangran shook his head to express his confusion.

"Because of all the people who came to express their condolences, you are the only one who cried the saddest and the most important..." He Mu paused, a little choked up, "and the most real".

Zhou Fangran reached out and shook Mother He's hand, it was rough and cracked, which made him feel sad for a while. "Auntie, I, I miss him very much now." With tears in his eyes, he bit his lip hard to restrain himself.

Mother He didn't say anything but just held his hand firmly: "Take it easy, it's okay, it'll be fine when it passes, don't be sad, He Yan is looking at you in the sky."

It seems that there are always people who believe that the bodies of the dead are wiped out in the world, but their spirits still exist, attached to their favorite places and things during their lifetime.He's mother said that since He Yan left, she often came to this room to see and talk to her son. She said that he would not be afraid if she was with him.

When Zhou Fangran was about to leave, he was standing at the door, and Mother He suddenly grabbed his hand and solemnly said, "Please do me a favor."

"You say."

"I have to trouble you to take care of my son more in the future, can you visit him more?" He's mother's eyes were full of brilliance that had never been seen before, full of hope.

Zhou Fangran thought she meant to ask him to go to the cemetery to pay homage to He Yan more often, of course he agreed, "Don't worry, Auntie, I will definitely go there often, don't worry, take good care of yourself."

"Oh, well, you too."

Zhou Fangran went out and went down a floor. When he looked up, he saw Mother He still standing at the door, waving to him with a smile on his face: "Fangran, live well, even my son's share."

Zhou Fangran nodded heavily: "Go back, it's cold outside."

He didn't know how he got home. Zhou Fangran was in a trance. He slumped on the sofa and had a headache. He quickly put the thermometer under his armpit and lay down on the sofa to rest. A little sad, Zhou Fangran suddenly felt unprecedentedly lonely.

He had been lying at home for two days, ordering takeaway for meals, not washing up anymore, and he was unshaven.As long as you have the energy, read He Yan's diary and cry for a while, then dry your tears and continue to sleep.

……

It was also two days later when I heard the news of He's mother's death.

Zhou Fangran received an unfamiliar call from the local police station. Zhou Fangran didn't care about his slovenly image, so he rushed to He Yan's house in a hurry. The entrance of the corridor of his house has been cordoned off by the police. Many onlookers may have neighbors or may Some passers-by, they just watched, with various expressions on their faces, some curious, some lamenting, even more disdainful, they just watched, pointed and talked.

He's mother's other relatives told him that He's mother committed suicide.

After swallowing sleeping pills, there was a big bloody hole on the wrist of his left hand, and a lot of blood flowed out. It is said that the scene was a mess, and He's mother's vomit was everywhere, but only He Yan's room was clean.

Zhou Fangran slumped on the ground and stared at the raised white sheet on the ambulance.

So all the people who watched the scene that day saw a young man who did not belong to this community holding a diary, kneeling on the ground and crying loudly.

After attending the funeral of He's mother with the relatives of the He family, Zhou Fangran's parents also traveled home. When they entered the house, they were startled. Not only was the house in chaos, but the son also looked haggard, which frightened Zhou's mother .He didn't say anything when asked him, but just told them not to worry, but which parent would not be worried when they saw their son like this. comfort son.

Zhou's mother began to complain about the model and kept blaming Zhou's father, so she just stayed at home and waited to take care of her son, so why not travel.Zhou's father was speechless and had to wear an apron to do laundry, cook and clean the room.

Mother He left a suicide note, which clearly stated that she and her son were going to be buried together, so that even in heaven, they could be each other's companions.She actually left all her property (including that house) to Zhou Fangran!He only asked him to give sacrifices to the two of them during the festivals.

The house key was given to Zhou Fangran by He's mother's younger sister and He Yan's aunt. For He Yan's aunt, I only "want that house".He wrote an agreement that he would unconditionally give this house to his aunt's children on the day he left in the future.

"Although you can live there, my sister left it to you." He Yan's aunt has always wondered why her sister left her property to a stranger, but there must be a reason for her sister to do so. The ins and outs of the incident were explained to Aunt He Yan.

"No! I'll keep it for Auntie and He Yan..." Zhou Fangran burst into tears, "This way they can have a place to stay when they come back. I will clean it regularly, if I take care of your child first."

Zhou Fangran's parents agreed with their son's approach, and both of them felt very relieved that their son was no longer that pampered "child" in an instant, but had matured too much.

He's mother's ex-husband and He Yan's father also came to Zhou's house to make troubles several times, but Zhou's father was a respectable person in this city, so he sent him away.He Yan's father didn't dare to do it again, Zhou Fangran felt disgusted and sad, He's mother's ex-husband didn't feel sad at all, he only thought about He's mother's house and property.

Zhou Fangran also greeted Aunt He Yan, and if He Yan's father went looking for trouble, he would call himself and beat him up.

However, after a long time, when Zhou Fangran went to sweep the graves of the two, he would always find a bunch of bright flowers in front of their tombstones. Once, he would even bump into He Yan's father who came out in a hurry at the gate of the cemetery. He was also much older. Yan's father saw that Zhou Fangran was very embarrassed, and the two were speechless when they met each other, they just nodded at each other and then separated.

So this winter vacation, apart from chatting with Lin Ancheng, what Zhou Fangran did most often was to visit the He family's mother and son in the suburban cemetery and stay there for a long time.

At first he was sad and secretly weeping, until later, he gradually got used to "life or death", and gradually he had a smile on his face, chatting with the two of them about everything that happened, chatting about today's joy Anger, sorrow and joy, chatting about the past and the past.

Death is another kind of relief, which is not necessarily a bad thing. Since then, Zhou Fangran has worked hard to live every day, eating, sleeping, reading and exercising.

The deceased is dead, Zhou Fangran put He Yan's diary back into the drawer of his room before he was alive, and he wants to remember and pay homage in his memory.

Afterall, tomorrow is another day.