Growth pain

The sun was almost setting.

Lu Shining was standing in a familiar corridor, and some acquaintances even greeted him when he entered the community, saying that he hadn't seen him for a long time.

When he actually walked up the stairs, his breathing suddenly became heavy, and he could hear his own heartbeat with every step. When he raised his hand and knocked on the door, the sound became louder, and it rang in his ears together with the knocking sound, thump——

After a while, 20 seconds or 2 minutes, the time was blurred at this moment, and there was a voice from inside the door: "Who?"

He swallowed, and replied in the way he used to when he was a child: "It's me."

The surrounding area was very quiet, the sun was about to set, and the dim light came in from the corridor window, fell on the dust, and fell into Lu Shining's eyes.

Inside the door, he said cautiously: "Little deer?"

He wasn't sure.

Lu Shining said, "It's me."

The door opened, revealing a familiar face. The man's expression was slightly tired, and water was still dripping from his hair.

Lu Shining blinked, "Are you taking a bath?"

Yuan Sen looked straight at him, "You come to me."

"Well, it was agreed before." Lu Shining's voice softened, even though he didn't know why, "I'm here to find you."

Yuan Sen reached out and grabbed his wrist to pull him into the room, but suddenly thought of something and then stopped, looking at Lu Shining helplessly, "The room is a bit messy, wait for me to clean it up..." He said so but refused to let go Take his hand away.

"It's okay, I'm mentally prepared." Lu Shining pressed Yuan Sen's arm with his other hand.

The two walked into the room, the door was closed, and Yuan Sen released it. He quickly walked to the balcony and opened the window.There was a lingering smell of alcohol in the room, there were wine bottles on the table and on the ground, Lu Shining couldn't find a place to put his foot down for a while, staring at the pile of bottles in a daze.

"It's a mess," he said.

Yuan Sen's expression tightened, and he wanted to hold his hand again.

Lu Shining continued, "Let me clean up."

Yuan Sen looked at him, and nodded obediently after a few seconds: "Okay."

He bent down to pick up the bottle on the ground, but Lu Shining stopped him, and pointed to the bathroom, "Didn't you just take a shower, blow your hair first, you'll catch a cold with the window open."

"It's ok……"

Lu Shining disagreed and dragged Yuan Sen to the bathroom, and the man followed him obediently.

"I'll clean it up, and you can dry your hair here." Lu Shining said half-orderly.

Yuan Sen nodded again.

So obedient, how could you be so obedient.

Lu Shining's eyelashes trembled slightly, and he didn't know where to look, so he coughed lightly: "You can change your clothes by the way."

It is estimated that Yuan Sen had just finished taking a shower, and when he heard Lu Shining's answer outside the door, he hurriedly put on a white t-shirt, his body was not dry, the cloth was soaked by water, and the outline of his chest was vaguely outlined.

Next he wants to talk about serious things, Yuan Sen is not very serious like this.

Yuan Sen suddenly approached him, the water from the tip of his hair dripped on the side of his neck, it was cold.Lu Shining raised his head, his cheeks were cupped, Yuan Sen didn't do anything, he didn't kiss or hug, he just looked at him carefully and then let go.

"Well, blow your hair and change your clothes, I remember."

After the hair dryer was turned on, with the buzzing sound, Lu Shining put all the empty bottles in the living room together. When he touched something by his feet, he rolled in with a clang. bottle.

This is what Yuan Sen saw when he returned to the living room. He coughed softly in the same way: "Xiaolu, what are you doing?"

Lu Shining took out the bottle, half-kneeled on the ground and looked at Yuan Sen from bottom to top, his eyes were round and round, really like an immature deer.

"Why do you drink so much and smoke so much?" Lu Shining wanted to ask in a casual way, but he knew it was too deliberate when he said it. "Pei Twenty and the others came looking for me and said they couldn't get in touch with you."

"I was too drunk the day before yesterday, so I didn't pay attention to turn off the phone." Yuan Sen said, rubbing against him, insisting on sitting next to him on the floor, pressing his hand on his shoulder, "It will be charged immediately after waking up, You didn't call me."

The last sentence is an accusation.

Lu Shining avoided it, "Aren't you answering other people's calls?"

So capricious.Yuan Sen occasionally acts like he wants to be a child.

"I'm drunk." Yuan Sen lowered his eyes, pressed his palm on the side of Lu Shining's neck and rubbed it repeatedly.

"Don't answer the phone when you're drunk?"

Yuan Sen looked at Lu Shining's evasive side face, it was the same as before, with a stubborn line protruding from his mandible.

"Lu Shining, I asked Yin Hao and Li Jianhua, and they all thought I was joking."

Lu Shining opened his eyes slightly, "Why Li Jianhua and you..."

"I didn't mention your name, I just said that I like men." Yuan Sen turned his head and rubbed his nose against the small piece of his exposed skin, sniffing his scent like a puppy, "Why I like men is just a joke, I is it not OK?"

Lu Shining's scalp tingled for a while, and he slightly pushed Yuan Sen away.

The man has a good face, deep brows, and everyone seems to be full of affection, but he only keeps his eyes on him for so long.

Being watched like this, Lu Shining suddenly became flustered, "You rented the house here...why didn't you tell me?"

Yuan Sen gently put his hand on his wrist, "What if I tell you that you don't live with me?"

Lu Shining was speechless.

Yuan Sen said: "They don't believe it, and you don't believe it either. How can I prove it?"

Immediately afterwards, he muttered again: "Is it okay if you don't mention your name? Yin Hao's side was an accident... You don't want to make it public. I never said anything. I drank too much that day."

Lu Shining stroked his head. The hair that had just been blown dry was fluffy and soft, like stroking a puppy's fluffy belly. He couldn't help but stroke it twice more, "I don't mind this... Are you still drunk?" Couldn't help lowering his voice, and asked slowly and carefully.

Yuan Sen raised his eyes, those eyes were bright and dark, the two of them were very close, Lu Shining smelled a faint smell of alcohol on the man's body, mixed with the fragrance of shower gel, it was not annoying.

"I take a shower every day." Yuan Sen said suddenly.

"what?"

"I tidy myself up every day and wait for you to come to me."

Yuan Sen's breath sprayed behind his ears, and Lu Shining's eye sockets were slightly warm.

"Isn't it..."

He covered Yuan Sen's mouth as soon as he apologized, and crushed Lu Shining with just a few words.

"You don't want me anymore."

Lu Shining wanted to shake his head, but Yuan Sen said, "I've thought about a reason to keep you for a long time, but I found that there seems to be no reason. You don't have to be me, I always keep causing trouble for you, don't you hate it?" Me? But I still want to find you, but I'm afraid you don't want me at all. "

"I do not have……"

Yuan Sen still didn't let him talk, and hugged him tightly in his arms, "Recently I always dream that when I was a child, you led me to walk at night..."

Lu Shining heard Yuan Sen's heartbeat, just like his, beating fast and powerfully.

"I also dreamed that you confessed to me and said you liked me." Yuan Sen buried his head into the side of his neck, "It would be great if it was true, but unfortunately I was drunk."

The sun was about to set, the red streak in the sky was gradually disappearing, the light blue and white clouds on the other side of the mountain were broken, and the air was slightly cool.

Lu Shining held his sobs in his throat, tears kept rolling down, hot on his cheeks, "Then what did I say in the dream?"

Yuan Sen said: "I can't remember clearly. I still remember when I dream, but I can't remember clearly when I wake up."

Lu Shining's voice trembled a little, "That's not a dream, I really said it."

Yuan Sen hugged him so hard that his bones ached.

He said, "Liar."

Lu Shining sobbed.

Because he always lied, Yuan Sen didn't believe him.

Then how to prove that I love you for so many years.

Lu Shining was in trouble all of a sudden, so he could only cry and hug Yuan Sen, "I didn't lie to you."

"I said I would love you, I said I liked you, I said those things. Brother, from the age of 16 to now, this is the ninth year." Lu Shining tightened the clothes behind Yuan Sen, and his nails sank into the fabric Li, "I have loved you for so long, how dare I lie to you."

Yuan Sen loosened the strength in his hands, the two of them could finally face each other, Lu Shining kept wiping away the tears, his throat hurt, his eyes hurt, and the bones in his body hurt too, there was no place that didn't hurt, even his heart hurt .

When the breathing was not so painful, he finally had the courage to continue: "I like you since I was 16 years old. I dare not tell you because I am afraid that you will not be able to accept it. After you go abroad, I will call you every week. Later, I couldn't get through the phone, I wonder if you are also tired of this relationship, afraid of my troublesome brother, then I don't want to contact you anymore, and I don't want to like you anymore..."

Lu Shining's crying was quiet, his eyes were only shedding tears, and suddenly hands came over to wipe away his falling tears, touching him so gently and carefully.

"You know I'll never stop answering your calls."

"I know." Lu Shining cried until his eyelashes were wet, "I went to see Su Yunle some time ago, and she told me that it was the calls she hung up..."

Yuan Sen's expression changed.

Lu Shining shook his tightly clenched hand, with tears still on his chin, crying messily and miserably, "I've been thinking about this since you came back, but later I found it was unsolvable, we will definitely Lost contact, after you made a girlfriend, before I completely let you go..."

Only now is the right time.

Any other time will be missed.

Yuan Sen in his youth would not understand this love, and Lu Shining in his youth would not know about love either.

"Didn't you ask me why I've been running away?" Lu Shining gently opened his fist, "Because I can't see you with other people, you shouldn't catch up."

"If I don't catch up, you will be with someone else." Yuan Sen leaned over to kiss those tears away, this time the hug was very light, "What should I do?"

"You will also..."

"There is no one else, Lu Shining. You are the one I hug, you are the one I kiss, and you are the one I like." Yuan Sen held his wrist, and placed the kiss on Lu Shining's blushing face from crying, "You If you leave me, I have nothing."

In the summer when he was 15 years old, his parents divorced. Yuan Zhen didn't want him, Yang Qiongfang didn't want him, and they both left the house.

Only Lu Shining came to knock on the door of his house, raised his head and said, "Brother, you can come to live at my house."

Yuan Sen likes this name, they can have many intimate names between them, but this brother is called from Lu Shining from five years old to 25 years old.

There will not be too many 20 years in life. This memory is very precious, and people are even more precious.

He always remembered that Yang Qiongfang came back when the cicadas were about to sing, and Lu Shining invited him to stay at his house that night.

He refused, saying that there was no way to live like this for the rest of his life...

The sun is about to set, the yellow of the setting sun disappears, the red and white sky turns into a monotonous dark blue, the mountains are silent, and the air is getting colder.

until the sun goes down.

"Lu Shining." Yuan Sen leaned against his forehead, a tear fell from his eyelashes, and his voice trembled, "Shall we just live like this for the rest of our lives?"

The author has something to say: There are a lot of things around the Chinese New Year, and I will update it every other day, but I promise to update 1w words every week (four updates). (???ε???)