42 ten

At noon, Yuan Mu returned to the carpentry room and finished his meal in the room. After thinking about it, he still felt aggrieved, and finally called Sheng Fengshi.

"what's up?"

"Mr. Sheng, have you finished your meal?"

"Ah."

"I have something to tell you."

"Public affairs and private affairs?"

"Private business."

"Wait until you come to the office this afternoon."

"Oh, good." Yuan Mu hung up the phone, put on his bag and went out.

When Yuan Mu knocked on the door, Sheng Fengshi couldn't hide the surprise on his face: "So early?"

"I've come to discuss a private matter with you."

Yuan Mu closed the door and put down the canvas bag, took the bench and sat in front of Sheng Fengshi's desk, and Sheng Fengshi leaned back on the back of the chair - almost exactly the same as the scene in the morning.

"Go ahead." Sheng Fengshi glanced at the time, "I'll give you 5 minutes."

"Thank you." Yuan Mu spent five extravagant seconds to sort out his thoughts, and then proceeded to make a statement, "There are many things we know in our hearts, and I always feel that these need not be explained, but you always reject me, I think it may be because you are unwilling to face the truth, so I want to say it. You are the first person who made me feel tacit understanding and comfort. The... unspeakable feeling between us is amazing, it Let me know as soon as I see you that you are different to me. I liked you the first time I saw you, every day with you is very slow, very long, I just found my life It should be like this, instead of seeing unfamiliar people every day, talking and watching the scene, you can only feel relaxed when you are alone. You may not think that I will often think of you when I can’t see you. "

Yuan Mu was shy for five seconds, and seized the time to continue: "I don't like the very jerky feeling when communicating with people. I will communicate because I need to, and I have to do it, but I don't like it. I I can't just do things I don't like every day, so I make furniture, make gadgets, and stay in the mountains... These are all temporary relief for me, but I do it all by myself. You let me know there are others In such a way, I can stay with someone without saying anything, just being comfortable, without embarrassment, which is simply amazing!

"And, you and I feel the same way, don't you? The first time you met, you looked at me for a long time, and I'm different to you too, and I believe that. Two people get along, and only one feels comfortable , An Ran, it's impossible. But you deliberately don't let me go with the flow, I don't know why. I will keep trying, because if I miss you, maybe I will never meet another one like this Even if I meet that person, it’s not you. I’ll be sad until I grow old, and I can’t forgive myself. If you have any difficulties that you don’t want to talk about, I won’t ask you, but can you give me a direction? Don’t make me think I’m working hard , but in the wrong direction from beginning to end. Is 5 minutes up?"

Sheng Fengshi: "There are still 2 minutes."

Yuan Mu thought for a while, then nodded: "I have nothing to say. What about you? Do you want to say something to me?"

Sheng Fengshi: "Give me a minute to think about it."

Yuan Mu: "Okay."

For 1 minute, I moved my legs stuck in the mud and trudged through it with difficulty.

Sheng Fengshi opened his lips, sighed, and said, "Yuan Mu, we have many similarities and differences. You are younger than me, not two, not ten, but twenty. If you want to talk about difficulties, this is mine. Difficulty, because you are 20 years younger than me, so I don't want to give you a chance. You are young and have little knowledge, so you think shallowly. Some problems you can't see but I can see. Things you think I shouldn't do, It is precisely the best choice for me that I have made after rational consideration.”

"Only an age question?"

"That's the main thing."

Yuan Mu nodded, frowning slightly: "I can't solve this problem. In fact, I don't understand why age is a problem? I like you, and of course I like your age, your precipitation after years; you like me , should also like my youth, my freshness, shortness and impulsiveness."

"Do you remember the repulsive force in physics?" Sheng Fengshi asked.

It was less than three years since Yuan Mu graduated from high school, and he remembered it effortlessly: "You reject me because the distance is too close? I have to stand still where the attraction and repulsion are equal. Once I move forward, there will be tension between us." Will it manifest as repulsion?"

Sheng Fengshi nodded in praise: "Your memory is very good."

Yuan Mu said angrily: "But we are not members. This metaphor is very inappropriate. It is too much for you to try to prevaricate me with such an excuse."

Sheng Fengshi: "...?"

Yuan Mu's expression was serious: "You insist on hiding from me and there's nothing you can do, but you have to face up to my appeal and respect my feelings. Teacher Sheng, I'm very disappointed in you."

Sheng Fengshi still: "..."

Yuan Mu spoke vigorously: "Are you trying to say that you did this out of a self-protection mechanism? Are you putting your hands on your chest because I make you feel dangerous? What kind of threat do I pose to you? You don't give me anything at all. How can I find the answer?"

Sheng Fengshi let go of his arms: "I..."

"I won't hurt you. I thought we had this tacit understanding, but I didn't expect that you didn't believe me. I was really hurt." Yuan Mu stared at Sheng Fengshi with wide eyes.

Sheng Fengshi: "..."

She didn't speak, because she was deeply reflecting: How did she push herself to such a situation?It was very misguided and very damaging to the face of the 40-year-old.

Yuan Mu stared at Sheng Fengshi.

Sheng Fengshi moved his lips: "I..."

"Your eyes are wrong, are you looking for excuses again?" Yuan Mu sharply pointed out.

Sheng Fengshi saw Yuan Mu's aggressive side for the first time, and was generally more surprised than happy.She gave up her defense, and asked gently: "Yuan Mu, think about it carefully, is your attitude towards me an attitude of trying to win a friend?"

"But we are not even friends now." Yuan Mu said, "I don't have many friends, and I haven't tried to win friends. I think that the relationship between people should follow nature. If two people get along well, they are friends naturally. Now, no one needs to make a special statement, it will be natural to be estranged in the future. I want to get close to you, but we are not even friends now, and you refuse."

Yuan Mu's answer seemed to be wrong, but Sheng Fengshi heard her true meaning and asked tentatively, "You mean, after we become friends, you might want to keep getting closer?"

"Of course." Yuan Mu said, "'friend' is just a sign of distance, some people can only get so close, and some people can get closer."

"How close do you want to be?"

"I do not know."

"Yuan Mu, part of the reason why I reject you is: you don't know. It's dangerous if you don't know. I know, I'm afraid. Do you understand?" Broken, said to Yuan Mu, who was full of sincerity, "Sometimes the person who hurts doesn't mean it, but the hurt actually happens. At that time, I can't blame you. I can only blame myself. I can't stop you with all my strength now. Maybe you won't hurt me in the future, but if I block you, you will definitely not be able to hurt me. I am 40 years old and I have to be responsible for the next few decades."

The voice fell, and there was a long silence in the room.

Yuan Mu lowered his head in thought, looked at the top of Yuan Mu's hair, and was slightly lost in thought, Sheng Fengshi thought: Yuan Mu is right, if you miss this time, there will be no next time, she will be the only one in her remaining years There is nothing wrong with being alone, safe and quiet.

Yuan Mu raised his head: "Mr. Sheng, I'm sorry."

These words can be interpreted as Yuan Mu decided to take a step back, but looking at Yuan Mu's expression, it didn't seem like that, Sheng Fengshi sat up straight unconsciously, and waited seriously for Yuan Mu to continue.

Yuan Mu: "My attitude is too bad, please forgive me."

Sheng Fengshi waited for another half a minute: "And then?"

"Then?" Yuan Mu was stunned for a moment, and said, "You gave me the clue, and I will dig it out."

"I didn't convince you."

"No."

Sheng Fengshi was not surprised, if Yuan Mu gave up so easily, it would not be Yuan Mu. "Up to you." Nothing she said would work anyway.As for whether she has expectations in her heart... that's not important.

Yuan Mu got what she wanted from this conversation, the process was a bit tense and intense, which just allowed her to vent out her recent backlog of small emotions, and immediately felt comfortable physically and mentally, and could easily continue walking on the road to Shengfengshi.

They began a tacit silence again, one of them was working, the other was reading, not disturbing each other, but vaguely comforting each other.

In the afternoon, when the second class held a meeting, Yuan Mu insisted on following, but Sheng Fengshi had to agree. The two sat in the first row, raised their heads at the same angle, and listened attentively.Before Sheng Fengshi went to the podium, Yuan Mu quietly slipped a small note to her. Sheng Fengshi kept his expression on, and unfolded the note under the cover of the desk. Seeing that it contained two suggestions from Yuan Mu, he couldn't help laughing.She has been working as a student for five years, and she has many years of experience in getting along with students. How can Yuan Mu compare to her professionalism in matters related to students?These two pieces of advice are simply not applicable in their prime.But when she finished her speech, she inadvertently caught a glimpse of Yuan Mu's serious face, and she was so distracted that she added a sentence briefly.

Sheng Fengshi didn't bother to analyze his behavior anymore, it was just because he liked it and softened his heart, it happened every time, it was no longer new.In the face of Yuan Mu's arrogant performance that he thought was helpful and tried his best to suppress it, but still showing clues, Sheng Fengshi could turn a blind eye to it, but he couldn't help thinking: in front of her, Yuan Mu looked more and more like a 20-year-old girl.

When I got home, Sheng Fengshi methodically completed the steps one by one—like an assembly line, what to do first and what to do later has been arranged reasonably, and only needs to be repeated invariably, with rules and order, without being annoying or chaotic.Sheng Fengshi runs for an hour every day, not for his body weight, but for maintaining his physical fitness. Sharpening a knife is not a mistake in chopping firewood. Only good physical strength can work efficiently.Sheng Fengshi has seen others work against the clock all their lives and have to ask someone to take care of them when they retire. Sheng Fengshi feels terrible in this old age. If one day she loses the ability to live independently, she would rather end her life.

Chuīgān came out of the bathroom with hair, and it was already dark.Sheng Fengshi stood on the balcony for a while, feeling the humidity in the air, thinking that it might rain tomorrow and remember to bring an umbrella.When the wind picked up, Sheng Fengshi closed the doors and windows and returned to the room, leaned on the bed and read a book for a while, when he felt tired, he turned off the lights and lay down to rest.

The night was quiet and a little cold.