brother's bizarre adventure

"Roban-san, as a manga artist, are you interested in trying a new theme?"

Kishibe Rohan raised the drawing of the magical girl on the table: "Do you have any other subjects?" What could be more exciting than magical girls upgrading and fighting monsters?

"Of course!" Mentioning this, Jonah got excited, took out a piece of white paper and drew a gaudy circular pattern, and then drew three more complicated 'patterns', saying, "This is called the Heroic Spirit Summoning Formation. This is the command spell, and the new theme I want to talk about is the Holy Grail War.

That was five years ago, in the summer of 1994, when I woke up, I found three more command spells on the back of my hand.

You probably don't know Command Seals, so let me briefly explain them.Owning this thing can participate in the Holy Grail War in Fuyuki City, and only seven people in the world can participate.The chosen ones summon heroic spirits through a summoning formation, and snatch a cup that is said to grant any wish in Fuyuki City.

Although I'm not interested in that cup, since I was selected, the opportunity should not be wasted, so I contacted my friend in that circle and started to summon the heroic spirit under his guidance. "

……

One week before the start of the Holy Grail War, Kotomine Kirei received a cross-border phone call from his friend Kujo Jonah from the United States: "Kirei, I want to tell you something serious. A Command Spell appeared on the back of my hand."

A crack appeared on Kotomine Kirei's expressionless face, would ordinary people be chosen by the Holy Grail?Wait, Jonah doesn't seem to be an ordinary person, but he doesn't have a magic circuit, so how can he raise a heroic spirit even if he really summons it?

"Kirei? Kirei, are you listening?"

"I'm listening." Kotomine Kirei tried his best to calm himself down, and asked, "The Holy Grail will choose those with strong wishes, you..." What wishes do you have?

On the other end of the phone, Jonah's voice was a little confused: "I have no wish, I just want to see how you can grab the Holy Grail if I have the chance."

Kotomine Kirei: ... This reason is very powerful.

After the Matou family, one of the three imperial families, is gone, is the Holy Grail so unreliable? People who want to watch the excitement are also drawn in, which is very dangerous!

So it was rare for him to carry a warning in his tone: "Magicians are very dangerous."

A relaxed voice came from the phone: "It feels okay, there are magicians who don't have long eyes to disturb Sakura's life, and I have already killed several of them."

This is a bit of information.

"Let's not talk about that, Kirei, how do we summon heroic spirits? I want to see what kind of heroic spirits I can summon. This kind of card-drawing game is really exciting."

This is the only one who plays the summoning of heroic spirits as a card game, but think about it, this kind of behavior fits his personality very well.

Kotomine Kirei: "Wait a minute, I will send you a fax after sorting out the materials."

"Nice! Kirei, do you want the Holy Grail? I can grab it for you."

Kotomine Kirei was silent for a moment, carefully thinking about his need for the Holy Grail, and finally found that there was no need.

"No, I don't want the Holy Grail. I just follow my father's wishes to help the teacher get the Holy Grail and help the Tohsaka family reach the root."

On the other end of the phone, Jonah's voice was obviously impatient: "Don't mention your teacher, I have a headache."

"Okay, I'll send a fax right away. No, you wait, I'll fly to the United States to guide you in summoning the heroic spirit, or you can come to Fuyuki and live in the church, it's safer."

"No, there is no danger in calling a heroic spirit. Hang up, goodbye."

Beep beep, the phone is busy.At this time, Kotomine Kirei really wanted to imitate this good friend and say yah yah yah to express his speechless mood.

……

In the courtyard, Jonah took a wooden stick and drew on the lawn. Those who didn’t know it thought he was weeding, but he was actually drawing a magic circle against the reference materials. The magician would cry when he saw it.

While drawing, he complained to Huo Zhigao: "In animation, magicians always like to summon heroic spirits in the middle of the night, but I don't, I want to summon them at noon."

Huo Zhigao was speechless: "It's summer, aren't you afraid of the heat when you call at noon?"

"Then add a parasol."

"People summon heroic spirits and add special effects and bgm, you summon heroic spirits and add sun umbrellas, if it is a heroic spirit like Kim Pika who talks about cards, he will definitely kill you!"

"Isn't sunlight a special effect!" Jonah was rational and vigorous, and he didn't feel that there was anything wrong with him. Added, just for myself.

Well, why don't you speak. "

Huo Zhigao: "There are too many slots, but I don't know how to vomit."

"Hey, you sometimes lose." Jonah put away the reference materials in his hand, threw away the wooden stick, stood up and observed the summoning array he had drawn, "Well, it's quite round, and there are no missing corners or missing lines. , should work."

"What do you mean should be able to do it? Do you have to deal with such a big thing!" Huo Zhixiu almost burst into tears. You must know that in the magic world, the summoning array is very important. Tosaka Tokiomi's elegant faction uses gems For drawing formations with solutions, you can use ordinary materials, but the most important thing is that the formations are flawless, what about Moon Kitchen?

Huo Zhixin complained too much in his heart, and didn't realize that he had written all the barrage on his face.

After seeing it, Jonah replied: "I am Moon Chef, but the experience through the screen is different from the actual experience. After I really got in touch with those magicians, I think they are quite scornful. My jo family is better."

"You really like the new and hate the old."

"It's called closeness." Jonah patted the non-existent turf in his hand, and said happily to Huozhi, "Excuse me, go and get a sun umbrella, and if you can, have another glass of ice cola, this weather summons spirits It's really hot."

Huo Zhixin popped up, expressionless: "You can call again at night, or go to an air-conditioned room."

Jonah: "That won't work. There is a time difference between Neon and the United States. At this time, Neon is in the middle of the night. Since Fuyuki's magician chooses to summon heroic spirits in the middle of the night, I have to go to the country to follow their rules. But because of the time difference, I am here "Midnight" next to it is noon."

The logic was too strict and impeccable, and the joy of fire retreated.

After a while, Huo Zhigao really moved the sun umbrella, ice cola, and beach chairs, and put them away one by one. At first glance, the scene seemed to be sunbathing on the beach.

Jonah's head was full of black lines: "Why are you moving so many things, are you having a party?"

Huozhi smiled happily: "I did it on purpose, to see if that Heroic Spirit would hack you to death." As he spoke, he pointed to the two glasses of Coke on the armrest of the beach chair, "I also prepared a copy for that Heroic Spirit Coke, you should need it to play in the sun."

"Hmph, it's not too big of a deal to watch the main body's excitement."

Huo Zhigao shot back: "The crumb body."

Jonah posed under the sun umbrella, holding a piece of paper on which was written the summoning words faxed to him by Kotomine Kirei, and stopped suddenly after reading the first sentence.

Huo Zhigao, who was watching the excitement, asked curiously: "What's the matter again?"

"Suddenly found that we don't have any holy relics." Jonah fumbled in his pocket in distress, trying to find something from his body as a holy relic, but failed to find a reliable one, and his eyes fell on Huo Zhixin.

Huo Zhixiu raised an ominous premonition: "Why do you look at me like that?"

Jonah smiled and pushed Huo happily: "Brother Huo, please make the next holy relic, it will be ready soon."

Brother Huo if you have something to do, Xiao Huo if you have nothing to do, this is the kind of person you are talking about.

Huozhi was so happy and furious, he picked up his fist and hammered the body: Ula Ula Ula Ula Ula Ula!

Unmoved, Jonah pushed Xiao Huo floating in the air to the top of the summoning array with his unafraid fist, "It's just drawing cards, don't you want to see what cards you can draw?"

"..." Huo Zhixiu didn't speak, but he didn't refuse either. He floated cross-legged and hugged his chest, looking at his own body badly, as if his body owed him a lot of money.

After everything was ready, Jonah repositioned himself and began to say the summoning words: "Declaration..."

The summoning language ended, and nothing happened at the scene.

Huo Zhigao complained unceremoniously: "The summoning of the heroic spirit at noon, you are really out of your mind, you have failed."

Jonah took out the information Kirei gave him from his pocket, and said to himself: "That's right, the time, formation, holy relic, and summoning words are all correct."

Huo Zhixin floated over to look at the content on his paper: "You are right except for the summoning words. You are not right about anything. The formation is to draw the lawn with wooden sticks, the time is noon, and there are no holy relics at all. If you can draw a heroic spirit, you will be damned." gone."

"No way." Jonah explained to himself, "Why can't sticks draw lawns to make formations? Isn't it all a circle; time, I deliberately calculated the time difference, and now this point happens to be a good day for neon lights; as for St. Relic, isn't it enough for the Holy Grail to put a substitute on me!"

"Come again and again." Huo Zhixin also wanted to draw the Holy Grail card, and asked Jonah to do it again seriously.

Jonah cleared his throat and planned to do it again, but before he opened his mouth, he found something strange, so he pushed Huo happily: "Little Huo, did you see the special effect just appeared in the formation?"

"Special effects? Where are the special effects... Grass, a black lacquer appeared!"

Jonah was speechless, but what Huo Zhigao said was right, a dark human figure covered in smoke appeared quietly in the formation, the black smoke on its body could not be reduced even under the sun at noon These look as if they come with mosaics.

This kind of setting can be seen as a berserker at a glance.

"Why berserkers, I want archers!" Jonah shouted.

"Go to sleep, you, the archer is in the hands of Tosaka Tokiomi, oh well, you can go and kill Tosaka Tokiomi right now, and then take Jin Shining away. Since you are also a gentleman, Jin Winky shouldn't be Wang Caiyou."

"Get out." Jonah rejected Huo Zhigao's unreliable suggestion, picked up the Coke on the beach chair and drank it down, and walked to the dark one in the summoning circle: "berserker, tell me your real name."

The dark heroic spirit ignored him, left the formation on his own, walked under the sun umbrella, and began to be in a daze.

Jonah looked at Huo Zhixie: "I suspect that this guy is still sane, he is doing it on purpose now, you see, he still knows how to bask in the sun."

"I'm very hot too, can you go back indoors?" Huo Zhigao glared at the main body, "Also, Berserker, Berserker, as soon as you hear the name, you know it's a setting where reason is exchanged for strength, how can it be rational. You forgot Is Matou Kariya that berserker? He can only roar the whole time, seeing Saber charge faster than anyone else."

Jonah didn't bother to care about the silent black lacquer, he listened to Xiaohuo and walked into the room, saying as he walked, "Matou Kariya suffered from the version. In his later version, the berserker is more rational than a man. The current version should be nighter than Ma Tongyan, it's normal to be rational."

"Your reason is really..." Huo Zhixin suddenly couldn't think of a suitable adjective.

"That's reasonable." Jonah added, facing Huozhi's happy and complicated expression, he said, "If you don't believe me, look at it." He stood at the door and shouted to the courtyard, "berserker, take back the umbrella and beach chair, the bottle Ice Coke is a thank you gift for you."

After speaking, he turned his head to look at Huo Zhixie: "He will definitely understand, trust me."

The joy of fire: ...

Has this unreliable ontology broadened its thinking enough to try to make the Berserker do chores?

Unexpectedly, the berserker really made a move. He drank the Coke, put away the beach chair and umbrella, held one in each hand, and threw it at Jonah's feet.After finishing this, he ran into the house and hid somewhere.

Jonah looked at the chair and umbrella under his feet: "Let me tell you, he must be intelligent." This kind of lazy way of doing half of the work can only be thought of by human intelligence.

Huozhi nodded happily: "It seems that his version is relatively new, and it does have wisdom."

Jonah picked up the beach chair and umbrella and walked to the utility room: "Can you spot where that guy is?"

"Yes, although heroic spirits and substitutes are two systems, it is not difficult for us to know each other as energy bodies."

"Then where is he now?"

"Wait for me to take a look." Huo Zhixin happily floated out of the utility room and headed towards the heroic spirit. After a while, he came back and said, "Squatting in the corner of the living room, it's still the spirit body." plant." If you can see it, it looks like a small mushroom growing silently in the corner.

...?

Jonah thought about the scene, and a string of ellipses appeared on his forehead.

"It's not a berserker, it's an autistic child!" No matter what he should do, he plunged into the kitchen and started working.Sakura has a club activity today, and she won't be back until the afternoon. As a father, she must prepare the logistics.

The autistic state of the dark heroic spirit lasted until dinner time, when Sakura, who went out to participate in community activities, returned.

"Father, I'm back!" Sakura, who had been outside for a day, was covered with sweat, her little face was red, and she announced her return loudly as soon as she entered the door.

At this time, the black lacquered heroic spirit in autism did not respond.Oh, master has a daughter, it doesn't matter, it has nothing to do with me.

Jonah rushed out of the kitchen, holding ice watermelon, light salt water towels and other things firmly in his hands.After putting the things away, he opened his arms and hugged him: "Welcome back." After hugging him, he lifted the person up, "Come on, hold it up high."

The autistic Heroic Spirit still didn't respond. The master is good at taking care of children. This is probably the unique family atmosphere of Americans.

"Sakura, Dad made you delicious food. But we have to eat together after Giorno's brother comes back, do you agree?" Jonah wiped Sakura's sweat with a towel, and the halo of the old father was full.

"Well, yes, Sakura agrees, brother Giorno also waited for Sakura last time, we are a family, we must tolerate each other."

"Hahaha, yes, that's it!"

Hearing the little girl's name, the autistic heroic spirit raised his head. The moment he saw the face, the black mist around him faded a lot. The next moment, he released the spiritualization and rushed straight up, hugging the master's daughter. Little girl, softly said the name that only she could hear: "Sakura..." It was really Sakura, and Alaya didn't lie to him. In countless worlds, Sakura was saved.

Xiao Ying looked confused, who is this dark big brother, Dad will be angry if he comes up suddenly.

Jonah's face darkened.

Where did the wild heroic spirit come from, how dare to be rude to my uncle's little baby, Xi Nei!