don't die

The back figure in the dream was blurry and indistinct, and looked slightly curved, but it was a back figure he was all too familiar with. Since he was a child, he had grown up behind this thin and not strong figure.

Lin Shen knew that he was the child who was picked up. As long as he could remember, there were only grandpa and him around.The two lived in the deep mountains and wild forests. Occasionally, grandpa would take the young Lin Shen down the mountain, but he never spent the night at the bottom of the mountain.

For Lin Shen when he was young, unlike the green mountains, the human town is full of temptations, and everything there can attract children's attention.But grandpa never allowed him to stay at the foot of the mountain, even if Lin Shen lost his temper silently, he didn't allow him.When Xiao Lin asked deeply, why can't he stay in the town for a while?

The old forester just looked at him, smiled and shook his head without explaining.

At the age of seven, Lin Shen reached the age of school and could no longer stay on the mountain every day.Grandpa had no choice but to let him go down the mountain and told him to go home on time, but at that time Lin Shen's heart had already flown away, his mind was full of the colorful world below the mountain, and he wished he could fly to the town immediately.But also from this time, he began to understand some things.

As soon as he entered school, the children quickly became agitated. It was the first time that Lin Shen got along with so many peers. Although Lin Shen was a little overwhelmed, the innocence and defenselessness of the children made him quickly make friends. .

This is the first batch of friends that Lin Shen made besides his grandfather and the birds and beasts on the mountain.However, within a few days of the good times, things gradually changed.Lin Shen found that the classmates in the class began to ignore him, and the few friends who were close before were also evasive and always avoided him.

This situation lasted for several days, Lin Shen couldn't hold back, and caught an opportunity to ask directly.

"Why are you avoiding me!"

He immediately blocked the way of several classmates, and some of them were good friends with him a few days ago.

"It's not avoiding you, it's mom who asked us not to talk to you anymore." Children are always very straightforward and can't hide their words.

"Yes, yes, my parents also told me not to play with you anymore."

"Why!" Lin Shen asked stubbornly.

"Mom said you are unlucky and will bring bad luck."

"You have no parents, you are the child of the beast, we cannot play with the child of the beast."

Lin Shen's hand blocking the way gradually loosened. Looking at the eyes of those peers, he only saw dodge and fear, and nothing else.

On that day, Lin Shen no longer waited in vain for his playmates, and no longer longed for someone to call him to go shopping together. He threw the game cards he collected a few days ago and prepared to share with his friends into the trash can, and was alone. The man returned to the mountain.

He didn't even say anything to his grandpa. Grandpa smiled and touched his head, but didn't ask anything.

From the age of seven, Lin Shen began to understand a truth, he is different from the people down the mountain, they will not become his friends.

At the age of 14, it has reached the age when a child starts to look forward to love, but Lin Shen still walks alone on campus, and there is no one who can talk to him.

"Oh, Crazy Lin smells bad again, doesn't it mean he doesn't take a bath every day!"

"Don't mess with him. My dad said that both grandpa and grandson are not easy to mess with. Stay away."

Boys ridicule, girls avoid, Lin Shen's 14-year-old has no crush, no noise, no passion.

At this time, he had already begun to help his grandfather dispose of the corpses of the suicides. He knew that he was different from these people.

When others are acting like a baby at home, he has to help grandpa patrol the mountains.Others enjoy their first love leisurely, and he is collecting suicide notes or relics for those suicides who died for love.When other people were shopping brightly, he had to carry the rotting corpse with his body covered in mud. At that time, there was no water heater on the mountain, and many times the grandpa and grandson came back dripping with sweat, and they could only wipe their faces and sleep.

Lin Shen knew that his body was dirty and smelly. It was the smell of animals in the mountains and forests, the strange smell of chemical fertilizers in the yard, and the smell of rotting human corpses.The clear water on the mountain is very precious, and it is impossible for him to wash himself every day, and he is also used to the smell.

But is it meaningful to explain these to those around you?

They are not from the same world at all, he can't understand the wild and glamorous youth of those teenagers, and others can't know how many lives and deaths Lin Shen has seen at such a young age.

14-year-old Lin Shen knows that he will not interact with most people in the world, and his world only has mountains and forests.Even grandpa, this elderly man, would only laugh when facing Lin Shen's questions, but never answered.

In the eyes of the young and vigorous Lin Shen, grandpa is getting old and chooses to live a life of ease.

But what about him?

Do you want to stay on this barren mountain for the rest of your life, pick up the corpses of those strangers, and guard the group of people who despise you at the foot of the mountain?

Why?Why!

If his life trajectory was not like this, if he had died in the woods and was not picked up, wouldn't he have to live this kind of life!He is obviously a human being, and he is eager to be understood, but he is rejected by everyone and rejected by everyone!

No one can hear his inner cries, they only see what they want to see, and refuse to understand a lonely and painful person!

Who can hear their own voice, who can really understand themselves?

Every night in his dreams, Lin Shen could only dream that he was in darkness, and there was nothing around him.There is no sound, no light, no hope, just like the world he lives in now.

"You're just like me."

Suddenly someone said that to him.

"After living in this world for a long time, people's ears become deaf, their eyes become blind, and they can no longer hear our voice." He Ye said: "Without some drastic methods, those people will not be able to notice us. "

"A drastic...method?"

"Yeah, express our protest in the most direct and decisive way." He Ye said with a smile: "Then it's those people who should be suffering and worrying, and the future has nothing to do with us."

Lin Shen felt that he was being led to a certain place, which was the cliff at the end of the stream.In the dry season, there is a shallow water under the cliff, but in the flood season, it will become a deep pool.

In this short distance, he thought a lot. With his grandpa's perfunctory smile and the indifferent eyes of the people at the bottom of the mountain, after living for so many years, even for one day, is he really happy to live?Who is he living for, and what is the meaning of his life? Standing on the edge of the cliff, He Ye let go of his hands, embracing the air in the sky, and below him was a cliff tens of meters away.The sky didn't know when the raindrops would fall, but it didn't affect his mood at all.

"At this moment, I am the master of my destiny!"

He laughed heartily and spread his arms out as if hugging something.Then he looked at Lin Shen and stretched out his hand for the last time.

At that moment, many pictures that flew past in my mind stayed on one shot.Lin Shen remembered that it was a time when he asked his grandfather about it.

"Do people who commit suicide regret it?"

"No." Grandpa replied, "Because they have no chance to regret it."

And this time, Lin Shen didn't want to give himself another chance to regret it!

The next second, the bird sitting on the treetop by the cliff flew up in terror. It watched the two humans leaping up and down as if they were birds. However, they did not act like birds. Fly again.

What happened to humans?

The bird circled in the air in confusion, looking at the pale water splashing from the bottom of the cliff.Why do you spread your wings when you can't fly?

The raindrops fell on the water surface under the cliff, and there were little waves.

At the moment when he was attacked by the severe pain of the impact and gradually sank to the bottom of the water, Lin Shen's consciousness was blurred.He looked up, only to see the faint light on the water surface in the distance, getting farther and farther away from him, untouchable.

total darkness.

What is death, only the dead know.

What will happen in life, only those who continue to live know.

But this time, he is going to a world that no one knows. Will it be quieter there?No one will ridicule, no one will despise, no more...

"Lin Shen!"

"Hey, Lin Shen, what are you doing here!"

"How do you sleep, it's raining so hard, do you want to be washed away by the water?"

There seemed to be someone constantly chattering in my ears. It was really noisy, but it didn't seem so annoying.Lin Shen opened his eyes, and all he saw was a face in front of him.

Pushing that face away calmly, he got up and rubbed his aching temple.

"Why do you sleep here?" He satirized curiously: "Didn't you say you went down the mountain to do some errands? You slept so soundly here."

The reaction of people who just woke up is always a little slow. Lin Shen looked at the leaves above his head for a long time before he vaguely remembered that he seemed to have had a dream.

No, it's not a dream, it's a memory from a long time ago, it's just that it's so long ago that he has already begun to blur.But maybe it was the same season again, or maybe it was a series of recent events that stimulated the recovery of memory. He came back from his errands at the foot of the mountain, and entered this forest by ghosts and ghosts.

"I had a dream."

Hearing that he spoke suddenly, He Tun was startled. "What dream, Chunmeng?"

"A nightmare." Lin Shen said, looking at the end of the creek, as if he could see the figure from that year again.

The 17-year-old Lin Shen is in the rebellious period, dissatisfied with everyone, full of hatred for the world, carrying a bag and wearing a school uniform, skipping classes openly.Then one day, in this forest, he met a demon who bewitched him.

The demon asked him, "Don't you have a place to go?"

Those words opened the Pandora's box in the young Lin Shen's heart.

"Aren't you going back?" Seeing that Lin Shen didn't speak again, He satirized, and said helplessly, "It's raining heavily, and it's getting dark soon."

Lin Shen raised his head and stared at him with piercing eyes.

"What, what are you doing?" He sat back a few steps defensively, why did Lin Shen look at him like he was going to eat someone?

"go back."

Lin Shen narrowed his eyes and smiled.

"go home."

Then he stepped forward and grabbed the man who woke him up from his nightmare.It was rare for He Tun to be obedient and let him drag him away.The forest by the creek suddenly became quiet again, as if no one had ever been there.

However, after waking up from the nightmare, what happened in the past will not be erased.What happened to Lin Shen who jumped off the cliff at that time?

How is that man named Heye?

Maybe it's time to call him another name.

dark night.