don't die

At the end of summer, the weather was already slightly chilly. The woman came out of the station with a suitcase and dialed a number casually.

"Well, well, it's me, it's really me!"

"Not angry." She smiled softly, "How can I be really angry with you? Well, the anger is gone, and I will come back to see you now?"

"Still working? I'm already at the station."

"No, don't ask for leave, I'll take a taxi by myself."

"Okay, I'll take a taxi, if you have change, um, goodbye."

The woman hung up the phone and looked at the side of the road. At this time, the sky had already darkened, and only a few cars passed by.She looked at the two large suitcases in her hand, geared up, carried one in each hand, and carried the suitcases to the side of the road with some difficulty.Her slender and petite body was dragged forward, and her slightly arched back showed that this was a very strenuous task for her.

I dragged my luggage to the side of the road, and after waiting for a long time, a taxi finally came. With the help of the driver, I put all my luggage into the trunk and sat in the passenger seat.

After getting in the car, she wondered if she should make another call.But is he busy with work?Wouldn't it worry him to make a phone call?

The woman touched the phone lightly, and on the back cover of the phone was a sticker of the photo of the two of them last year.In the photo, a man with glasses hugged her lightly and smiled shyly.She rubbed her fingers over the cheek of the man in the photo, thinking, it's better not to call.

Just go directly to his work place later and give him a surprise.

The woman pursed her lips happily and expectantly, and put down her phone.At this time, the taxi had already driven out of the small road in front of the station and headed towards the turning that connects to the avenue.

The streetlight at the turning was broken, and the surrounding area was dark.And on such nights, not even the chirping of insects could be heard.

There was silence, and the taxi headed that way.

Drive away, silently into the darkness,

Xia Shili ran down the mountain, he didn't know how many somersaults he fell along the way.At this time, I was very embarrassed, my face and body were covered with mud, and there were many abrasions.But even so, he didn't stop for the next step, and hurried out of the mountain pass panting, heading towards the small town.

At seven or eight o'clock, there were still many people walking in the small town. Seeing his embarrassed appearance, they all cast strange glances.Xia Shili didn't care at all, only one thing was on his mind.

Go to the station quickly, go to the station!

Yanyan was waiting for her there, hurry over there!

He was supported by a strong belief that came from nowhere. This man, who fell all the way down the mountain, ran towards the station step by step with messy steps.However, his physical strength was already exhausted at this time, and even if he tried to exert all his strength, his speed could not compare with a passerby walking slowly.

But Xia Shili didn't notice this at all, he gritted his teeth, his eyes seemed to be looking ahead, and he didn't seem to be looking anywhere!

Must go, go to where she is!

There was only one thought in his mind.Little by little, he struggled towards the station in his heart.

"found it!"

After a lot of searching, He Tun finally found the electric board in Xia Shili's luggage, the two hurriedly plugged in their mobile phones, and chased out the door.At this time, it was less than 10 minutes before Xia Shili went out, which was when Xia Shili hadn't reached the foot of the mountain.

"But I said it's a miracle that his phone can still be used after it's broken like this." He satirically fiddled with the phone. Xia Shili had been carrying it in his arms all day long like a baby, but he didn't see it. In fact, this phone is no bigger than Lin How much better is the deep one.

Especially on the corners, there are many marks of impact and friction. It is hard to imagine that Xia Shili can use this phone like this with how precious he is to this phone.

"Hey, there seems to be a photo on the back cover of this phone."

As He satirized, before he had time to look at it, there was a ding dong ding dong, and the mobile phone in his hand rang desperately as if it was dying, which startled the two of them.

He Tun and Lin Shen looked at each other, and He Tun pressed the green on button.

Almost as soon as it was connected, a hoarse voice full of anxiety came from the other end of the phone, containing a hundred thousand worries.

At the same time, the layers of smoke surrounding Xia Shili's body will finally be revealed in front of them.

A real "Xia Shili" came slowly and appeared before his eyes.

A love that parted from the world in summer.

At the end of summer, parting, the male cicada leaves the last song of his life here, and dies brilliantly.However, who knew that the female cicada, who was born unable to make a sound, died so silently.

It spent several springs and autumns in obscurity in the dark soil, until one early summer, it heard the cicadas that touched the soul.

The female cicada quietly emerges from the soil, carrying an earthy smell all over her body.

There are no gorgeous wings of butterflies, no beautiful feathers of birds, and even the proud singing of cicadas.The only thing it can do is to find a love in this world that is too vast for a small bug.

A love that is nothing but summer.

No one knows it has come, because it can't sing, no one knows it has left, because it died silently.However, in this world, there will be another male cicada who will always remember him.

This singer who desperately seeks happiness for himself will finally die on the night when Xia Tian leaves.However, unlike before, this time, its female cicada left first.

Without a sound, he disappeared from this world.

Just like this time, the eerily silent night.

When Xia Shili rushed to the station, all the lights around him had been turned off, and it was pitch black.However, he didn't care about it at all, and still ran towards the darkness.

Under the dim streetlights and in front of the closed doors, he shouted hoarsely: "Yan! Yanyan! Where are you?"

"I'm here to pick you up, Yanyan, come back with me!"

He is like a helpless child, looking at the dark depths that never respond, helpless.

"Don't be angry with me again, Yanyan, come home with me, I'll pick you up."

"Don't play peek-a-boo with me, you know I'll be worried, I'm going to be angry, Yanyan!"

"Yanyan, come out."

Anxiety and fear were revealed in his eyes, and he opened his mouth to call in panic.

"Yanyan, come out, come out!"

However, the woman in his heart never jumped out of the darkness, covered his eyes lightly and told him it was a joke, and then the two returned hand in hand.

Will there be anyone in the dark street who raises his head and asks him softly.

"I like you, do you want to date me?"

No one will understand his fragility better than her, and no one will understand his strength better than her.

No one would know better than her how deep his love was.

Once he loses his female cicada, singing has no meaning for the male cicada.

Xia Shili squatted down weakly, holding his head, looking at the pale ground.His hands trembled slightly, as if he was enduring some unimaginable pain.A pain more terrifying than losing one's own life.

But at this moment, footsteps sounded faintly in the darkness.

Xia Shili looked up in surprise, but what he saw was not the figure he imagined, and he was even more disappointed.

Someone approached him slowly.

"I'm not the one you're waiting for, are you disappointed?"

Xia Shili didn't answer.

The other party said again: "But the person you are waiting for can no longer come because she..."

"To shut up."

Xia Shili stood up suddenly, raised his eyes, the usual smile was no longer in those eyes, and he looked extraordinarily indifferent.

"I don't need your advice, Hercules."

He satirized slightly, wanting to say something, but when Xia Shili saw the mobile phone in his hand, his pupils constricted for a moment, before he said: "Don't come here."

"summer……"

"Please don't come near me anymore, Hey." Xia Shili looked at him, "I've had enough of the days of being treated as a mental patient."

"You..." He was caught off guard, Xia Shili knew he was sick, he knew he had hallucinations?Judging by his language and demeanor at this time, it is completely normal. If this is the case, why is he reluctant to go home for treatment?

"Don't look at me like that, don't look at me like that." Xia Shili raised his head, looking up at the night sky. "Why do you all say I'm sick? Am I sick? I know who I am, I know what I'm doing, and I don't want to hinder anyone."

"Xia Shili..."

"I just want to be with her all the time, is that wrong!" Xia Shili roared suddenly, "It's just such a wish, I want to find a world where I can live with her. Why do you all use different looking at me? I'm an outlier, I'm a freak, just because I'm chasing a longing world!"

"That's because the world you so-called desire is not real."

Xia Shili suddenly turned his head to look, Lin Shen approached slowly from behind him.

"The world you imagined, and the people in that world, are no longer in this world."

Xia Shili constricted his pupils.

"Do not say……"

"And the person you love will never appear at this station tonight. Because as early as a year ago..."

"Don't say it! I beg you, don't say it, don't say it!" Xia Shili hugged his body tightly in pain, squatted on the ground, covered his face weakly, and cried softly: "Stop it! Please! ,Please!"

"A year ago, when I took a taxi from the station to find you, Yanyan had a car accident and died on the spot."

Ignoring his pain and despair, Lin Shen directly stated the truth indifferently.

"Today is her one-year death anniversary, what do you think you can wait for? A pale soul, or a delusional opportunity?"

"Have you ever thought about it countless times, if you were not busy with work at that time, but came to pick her up in person, the person you love would not have left this world."

"Regret tortures you day and night, the pain of losing a loved one burns you every minute."

"As for you, cowardly, you can only fabricate an illusion, a fantasy that she is still alive, and hide in it humblely, escaping from everyone in this world who knows the truth."

Xia Shili, Xia Mo and Shili, not only Yanyan, but also the man who once lived in the world with beautiful ideals.Following that nightmarish night, they disappeared into this world together.But now, there is only a haunted ghost, and a man who is obsessed with the past and cannot forget.

Xia Shili's fingers were trembling, and he could no longer hide his expression. He raised his head and looked at Lin Shen with hatred.

"Why did you say it..."

Why wake him up, why not let him continue to sleep in this dream, until one day he can no longer bear the loneliness and go to another world to find his lover.

A year of wandering, a year of traveling, this green lake forest was originally his planned last stop.However, tonight, on the last platform, Lin Shen uncovered his fabricated fantasy, leaving a bloody wound.

A wound that cannot heal, a heart that cannot be filled.The figure that has left is irreplaceable by anyone in the world, and the severe pain left in the heart cannot be soothed no matter how long it takes.

A male cicada that has lost its partner no longer even has the strength to sing.

"Even if it's just a fantasy, even if it's just a dream, it's okay for me to immerse myself in this dream!" Xia Shili howled, "I just want to sleep in this dream, why don't I even have such a humble dream? Let me make it happen."

"Because the dead will not be happy to see you like this."

Xia Shili raised his head abruptly.

Lin Shen was looking at him, "Even if you regret it in your heart, what happened has already happened, and what is lost is irretrievable, but you can't open your eyes to see what is left behind?"

"Where are there left..." Xia Shili murmured.

However, at this time, Lin Shen suddenly handed the mobile phone to him. It was a mobile phone used by a woman, and it was the last thing left in the world by the woman he loved.

Xia Shili gently touched the photo on the back of the phone, but when he touched the screen, he found that the phone was actually in a call at this time.

There was a faint call from the receiver of the mobile phone.

"Dad...Dad..."

Xia Shili hurriedly approached, and when he heard that immature voice on the other side, he was about to shed tears.

"Dad! Daddy!"

The anxious and expectant voice of the little girl rang in his ears.

"Warm..."

"Daddy, Daddy Xia!" The little girl happily said a series of words when she heard the response.

"Father Xia! Why don't you come to see me anymore? Nuan Nuan has been waiting for you here!"

"Mother Yan'er didn't come either, did Nuannuan do something wrong, don't parents come to see Nuannuan?"

"No..." Xia Shili's throat was a little choked up, but he couldn't say more.

He almost forgot about this little life, this little girl who couldn't walk and was abandoned by her biological parents in the orphanage at birth.

"Dad, let me tell you, I saw the cicadas this year too, and Nuan Nuan has become friends with them!"

"Well, warm and good."

"But the baby cicadas died a few days ago, and Nuan Nuan is very sad. Dad, can Nuan Nuan see them again next year? They will be like Mom and Dad, and they will never come to see Nuan Nuan again?"

A little girl who is naturally close to people, she calls the two volunteers who love her most as her parents.However, such a small name has always warmed the hearts of the three of them.

Xia Shili remembered the first time he was called that day, Yanyan blushed but responded gently.Recalling that every time I went to the orphanage to do volunteer work, Nuan Nuan crisply called them over and over again, Mom and Dad.

"Dad hasn't come to see Nuan Nuan for a year, why, Dad?"

The little girl was puzzled and said: "They all said that mother has gone to a place far away, to a place called heaven, is dad going too? Can't you take Nuannuan with you?"

Xia Shili's right hand holding the phone trembled slightly.

"Nuan Nuan, I, Dad... don't want to take you with me."

"Why, but Mom and Dad are not here, Nuan Nuan is very lonely, very lonely." There was a crying sound in the little girl's voice, "You don't want me! I am very obedient, I eat well every day, and cook every day. It's very painful to recover and exercise. Dad won't come to see me?"

"I can't see my mother anymore, and I can't see my father anymore? I miss you so much... I have had a father and mother after a long time, and you don't come to see me anymore. Woow, Nuan Nuan must have done something wrong Yes, Nuan Nuan was wrong, Dad, don’t be angry, Dad will come and see if Nuan Nuan is okay."

The little girl seemed to be holding back desperately, not wanting to cry, but her muffled voice was even more heart-wrenching.

Xia Shili only felt his heart throbbing, and wanted to say something, but Lin Shen took his phone back.

"you--"

"You don't plan to go back anyway, why should she remember you and be sad for you?"

Lin Shen hung up the phone indifferently, "It won't be long before she understands that the abandoned child will never have parents, and no one will miss her, and she will forget about you completely by then."

"I'm not……"

"Aren't you? Aren't you blindly immersed in your own fantasy?"

"Or, aren't you planning to abandon her at all?"

"Didn't you forget it a long time ago, the girl you took care of with Yanyan? No, you forgot more, forgot the mother who took care of everything by herself after you left, forgot the loss of her daughter, but still had to help Yanyan's parents who took care of your mother. They have long forgotten this agreement, 'your daughter'."

Lin Shen threw the phone to him.

"When you were immersed in your dreams, how many things have you forgotten, 'Xia Shili'." He turned around and said sarcastically to He: "Let's go."

"Go? Where?"

"Where?"

"Go back to the mountain."

"Hey, that Xia..." Before He Tiao could finish his sentence, he was dragged away by Lin Shen.

And Xia Shili squatted on the ground holding his mobile phone tightly. For a long time, his surroundings were completely plunged into darkness, as if he was the only one in the whole world.

There was a slight sound, Xia Shili turned his head to look, and saw that a fallen leaf had fallen to the ground.

And under the fallen leaves, there was a dead cicada, its body curled up lifelessly, and it could no longer shake its wings.

This is a female cicada, a female cicada that died after giving birth.Beside it, some small larvae were struggling to crawl into the soil, burrowing past their mother's body to the deepest part of the soil.

They will spend several springs and autumns there, countless days without light, until a certain night, the cicadas finally wake them up.

These metamorphic cicadas will crawl out of the soil again, and come to the world they have only seen once when they were born, to find their love, the love that only comes once in a lifetime.

In this way, generations of cicadas die, and generations of larvae drill into the soil.

Break out of the ground, and then indulge your own life.

This is Xia Chan's love that will never be Xia.

Xia Shili stood up, looked at the lights at the end of the street, and felt the darkness around him that was about to spread upwards.

【I like you. 】

[Nuannuan called me mom today, haha, I'm a little embarrassed. 】

[It's not that I want to quarrel with you, why don't you understand me! 】

[Okay, don't be angry. 】

The woman who loved to laugh but didn't hold grudges turned around and stretched out her hands to him in the dark night.

[I will never be angry with you, I will always love you...]

It seems to be raining, and the salty rain wets the eye sockets, and the taste is really uncomfortable.Xia Shili walked towards the end of the street step by step.

Losing an irreplaceable important person, what should I do without pain?

No pain, don't want to suffer, still maintain this memory...

live.

The next day, when He Tun rushed down the mountain again, Xia Shili was already gone at the station.

Just like when he suddenly appeared, he came without a shadow and went without a sound.Since then, He Tun and Lin Shen have never seen this "Xia Shili" again.

Where is he going?

He Tun asked Lin Shen this question, but Lin Shen answered him with a very familiar answer.

"We are not gods, we cannot force all the results, nor can we force a person. In the end, it depends on his own choice."

Is that right?

He Tun suddenly felt lonely, there was no one to help him with chores, and those annoying insects were no longer in the yard.

This sudden silence is unbearable.

"next year."

Lin Shen said: "Next year, the cicadas will sing again."

That little life that broke through the ground again.

This is an agreement with Cicada to meet in summer.

By next summer, maybe the rangers on the mountain will receive a photo from afar.

In the photo, a gentle man wearing glasses smiled shyly while hugging a little girl.On the back there is a girl's crooked font, Nuan Nuan and Dad.

——and my mother in heaven.

The man in the photo is very familiar, but a little strange. He seems to have gained something, but he has lost something forever.

The cicadas chirped, one after another.

Got it, got it, got it?

The man named Xia Shili who appeared in Xia Tian and lived in fantasy.

He buried his fantasy and his lost love forever in the midsummer in his heart.

Like parting in summer, parting with cicadas in this world.

Xia is far away from the world.